Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

(Too little, I say. May God help me keep my faith and live my life according to His will)

So.

How long have we been married ?

It’s been 11 years for us.

To some people, that’s pretty long already.

To some others, we’re just at the ‘beginning’ of a long journey, and there’ll be many more ‘interesting’ things to come.

Many say that the longer you’re married, the tougher it is to keep your relationship and communication with your spouse fresh, open and warm.

And here’s why.

… they consequently grow further from each other emotionally (though they’re physically together under the same roof.

Couples generally start to take each other for granted.

They start to forget about loving compliments, verbal appreciation, and gentleness in their words and actions.

And, they are busy with their own world.

The women are busy with the children, home and often their career, while the men are busy with their loads of work at the office too.

They increasingly disconnect (especially with them being frequently preoccupied with gadgets in their hands).

They have less ‘sharing sessions’ with each other, and they consequently grow further from each other emotionally (though they’re physically together under the same roof)

A tough reality waiting to happen to all of us, or is it something that we CAN avoid?

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Personally I believe it’s something that we CAN avoid.

We CAN have loving relationships with our spouse, based on trust and respect.

We CAN learn and strive to be a good and loving spouse.

BUT.

It’s not easy.

It’s hard work.

And, amidst our daily busy-ness, it gets tougher to nurture and maintain our relationship fresh and warm all the time.

Working on our marriage needs effort. LOADS of effort.

From BOTH the husband and the wife.

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Let’s share. Let’s communicate. Let’s keep on working on our marriage.

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“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”
– Zig Ziglar

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Photos on My Phone This Week – Nine shots found on my iPhone this week. Simple moments I wish to remember.

Oh my.

It’s December 1st!

I mean, we are at the very end of the year 2012!

Already!

As cliché as it may sound, … I really do feel this year has gone so fast for me!

…

The year started off with the big decision to move to Jakarta.

A huge move for me and the kids.

We’re so busy with all that packing in those first 3 months.

And when we finally arrived in Jakarta, we’re again busy with getting things settled.

Settling down in our apartment. Anya – and me – adjusting to school life. Homeschooling Vai. Caring for Brie who – in the first few months – physically needed some adjustments to the overall hygiene, weather, pollution and food. Adjusting to the Indonesian culture (things are not as fast and efficient here, compared to Singapore) and of course, the infamous traffic jams, amongst many other ‘new stuff’.

And just when I thought things got pretty much settled and predictable, in came a new challenge.

I was offered a job.

And, I accepted it.

Because after praying, discussing it with hubby, and thinking about it for days, I strongly felt it’s something that I’ve been called to do.

A God-sent, because I too have the flexibility to do my work without having to sit in the office from morning to evening.

Which means, I still get to be with the kids like I usually do, while I juggle everything else.

…

I won’t deny it though. It’s not easy.

I’ve been sleeping ‘less’ because I do most of my work when the kids are asleep at night.

And I sometimes do feel tired. Very tired.

There’s a day, not too long ago, when I was feeling exhausted and I said to Wilson : You know, I felt there’s so much that I wanted to do but there’s just so little time.

I wanted to blog more, to edit my videos, to capture more moments, to bake again, to spend more time with the kids, to craft and make stuff, and of course, to also dedicate my energy and focus on the work that I have right now.

I’m no superwoman. I can get tired. And I have 24 hours a day, just like everyone else.

I wanted to do all that, but I obviously can’t.

I’m no superwoman. I can get tired. And I have 24 hours a day, just like everyone else.

And you know what he said ?

He said : Be thankful to God if you can still feel exhausted at the end of the day because you’re doing the works and responsibilities that HE has entrusted to you. Work that touches tens and thousands of lives too.

Be thankful to God if you are still called to do HIS work, even when it’s draining your energy.

…

How true.

How I thank God for such a reminder!

…

Anyway.

That’s the quick update on how life’s been like most recently for me.

I am vulnerable, I have weaknesses, yet I am blessed and am constantly reminded that God is there to strengthen and help me.

Thank God for HIS help, patience and blessings throughout the year 2012.

Thank God for everything.

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Photos in this post:
These are shots taken using my iphone from our balcony, a view of different kinds of mood and weather. And I feel they reflect our day to day life : different kinds of mood, but one same sky. Different kinds of life challenges, but one same God who watches over us, keeps HIS promises and remains unchanged forever.

Anya came up to me the other day with this.

A batik drawing she made on her own.

(Which I thought was really nice =)

Then she told me how she made it.

Here’s how : 

–  Draw on a piece of used brown envelope

– Colour her drawings with coloured pencils

– Crumple the paper

– Flatten the paper using a ruler

– Dip the paper in water for a few minutes

– Hang it dry

And that is it! =D

(Nice to see how she also used a recycled envelope for her little project too)

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And btw, this is what Vai and I did sometime back, when we made our ‘CRAYON BATIK’.

Click HERE to check out how we made it!

Happy crafting, everyone … and have a great weekend too!

[A photo-shoot we did with Jipaban.com in November last year!]

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Whenever my kids give me a hard time, I usually tell myself how it’ll most likely be more complicated and emotionally draining when they are teenagers.

Because, with little children, however disrespectful or disobedient they are, they’ll most likely still come looking for us in the end.

They value our presence.

They still want to be with us.

As we all know, things are most probably very different when they are teenagers.

If they don’t care, they just … don’t care.

If our teenage children can’t see us as positive and wise role models, as people who truly love and care for them since they’re little,  … well, there’s nothing much we can do to ‘force’ them to obey and listen.

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Frankly, the thought of parenting a teenager is a rather scary thing for me.

I totally have NO idea what my kids will be like in years to come, how difficult (or manageable) things will be, how challenging dealing with raging teenage hormones will be, too.

Not to mention dealing with boyfriends and girlfriends episodes?

*weak in the knees*

(Especially when I very well know how my husband and I gave our parents a hard time when we were teenagers ourselves *yikes*)

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Children know when they have a relationship with people who are wise and discerning, who know and understand them, who love and are committed to them. 

With that in mind, I’d like to share this passage from the book ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’ by Tedd Tripp. Something that’s relevant to me as a parent of young children who will soon be teenagers themselves.

It’s about building relationships and open communication with our children since they’re little. And how it’ll affect their relationships with us later on when they are in their teens.

Here’s an extract from the book.

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Rich communication is the cement that holds a parent and a child together. 

Communication will provide the context for a growing unity with your children.

Children know when they have a relationship with people who are wise and discerning, who know and understand them, who love and are committed to them. 

They will know if you know the ways of God, understand life and people in the world, and are prepared to carry on a relationship of integrity and security. 

There will be times of disagreement or conflict, but disagreement can be resolved in a relationship of open communication.

Teens look for relationships in which someone knows, understands, and loves them.

Pressures of the teen years pull children away from home. This is the time they develop friendships with those who ‘understand’ them.

Teens look for relationships in which someone knows, understands, and loves them. Your children should NOT leave home for that. Because YOU should provide family relationships in which your children are understood and embraced.

Children long to be understood, known, discipled and loved.

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When it comes to building our parent-child relationship, these are some of the lessons and reminders I get from the book.

Communicate and bond with your children since they’re little. Relationships based on trust, respect and open communication don’t happen overnight.

And this means:

– Setting aside time to be with them everyday, and to genuinely know them one by one

– Switching off gadgets and putting away work to actually interact and be with them

– Letting them share what they feel and listening without commenting immediately, yes … although we may disagree with what they think / say (now this may be a tough one, especially for moms?)

(You’re most welcome to add more to the list)

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Relationships based on trust, respect and open communication don’t happen overnight

Anyway.

As I realise how things may be tougher later when my children are teenagers, it does make me pray for them (more fervently) today.

I pray for their growing faith and personal relationship with God as they grow up.

For God’s mercy on our family.

For strength, patience and consistency in being their living examples who ‘walk our talk’.

And, for wisdom to be the kind of parents God wants us to be.

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Parenting is tough.

May God help us.

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Photos on My Phone This Week – Nine shots found on my iPhone this week. Simple moments I wish to remember.

I read this story on Dr Kevin Leman’s Facebook Page today, and I immediately felt I should share this with you.

Do have a read.

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A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”

God brews the coffee, not the cups.

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Whatever it is that you love to drink, be it coffee, tea, or anything … here’s the question we ought to ask ourselves :

While we all want to have that drink … are we actually enjoying our drink, or are we unconsciously (and wrongly) focusing our attention on the cup?

Let’s enjoy the drink, and not the cup.

Let’s be thankful and enjoy the life that God has given to us, and not be distracted by what’s much less important.

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Hope you have a wonderful weekend with your loved ones, everyone!