Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

If you have little children, most likely you’d have crayons and paper, yes?

Check this out, you can create fun Scratch Art, using just crayons and paper!

Okay, you’d need a toothpick too.

(PS: If you have younger children, using Oil Pastels would be easier for them, faster and softer to cover the paper’s surface)

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Here’s how you do it :

1. Use oil pastels / crayons, choose bright colours and cover entire page

Note: You may want to start with a small section of a page first to test things out

2. ON TOP OF the coloured page, cover it all with black oil pastel / crayon.

Yes, it takes a while and it may look very wrong, and it does get a little ‘messy’ as the kids will get black smudges on their fingers, palms, and their elbows even. You may want to have tissue / wet wipes handy.

3. When you’re done and the page is all black, get the toothpick out, and have fun!

Let the child draw with the toothpick and watch the bright colours underneath appear!

(Tips: Don’t scratch ‘too hard’, as we want to just scrape off the black top layer)

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Anya did her own little version the other day, at a corner of her drawing block! =)

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Have fun!!

It’s a joy to see good sibling relationships.

When they look out for each other,

accompany and help one another without being told to.

When they are concerned about the other’s well being,

and speak with one another in a nice, friendly tone.

Thing is, such ‘rosy relationships’ don’t happen all the time.

And definitely, they do not happen overnight.

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Here’re some five thoughts on siblings that I often share with my children :

>> God gives us siblings, because that’s one of His ways of :

– teaching us how to love, care and share with one another

– training our patience and self-control (because, reality is, our siblings can often be annoying)

>> If we cannot respect, love and care for our family, how can we respect, love and care for others?

>> Always, ALWAYS look out and protect each other. There will be times later when Mommy and Daddy cannot be with you, so when it comes to being and staying strong together, two is better than one, and three is definitely better than two.

>> Being annoyed with one another is normal, but it does NOT mean it’s OK to :

– say mean and discouraging words to one another (eg. ‘You are so useless!’, ‘It’ll be better to NOT have a brother!’)

– express our anger / frustration / impatience physically (eg. By hitting, pushing, kicking, etc)

>> When we feel angry and are compelled to really be nasty in our words and actions, learn to be quiet first, learn to hold our tongue, and pray to God for help in controlling our emotion. Nothing good comes from an angry heart and mind.

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… no one ever says parenting is easy.

Obviously I don’t say the above like a ‘mantra’.

I try to insert a quick point or two when relevant conflicts or situations arise.

And on days when things just seem to go ‘wrong’ with the kids, yes it can be draining physically and emotionally.

But then again, no one ever says parenting is easy, right?

And, as much as we’d love to see ‘immediate results’, … well, nothing is instantaneous when it comes to growing up and parenting (I often need to remind myself this point!)

Actually, come to think of it, throughout the process of parenting our kids, I reckon WE learn a LOT from being parents.

Because we are reminded all the time how we too have SO much to learn, are vulnerable and so in need of strength and wisdom from above.

May God help us all in becoming better parents to the little ones HE has lovingly entrusted in our care.

Children and scissors. They don’t sound as if they’re supposed to go together, do they?

And I totally agree.

Young children must NOT be allowed to play with sharp scissors (including, walking around with such scissors in their little hands). Yes, the kinds that we adults use.

But, having said that, I also believe :  

– These days they have ‘scissors for kids’, which we must take advantage of.

– Some toddlers may show interest in cutting activities, and this can be a great way to exercise their concentration and fine motor skills

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… this can be a great way to exercise their fine motor skills

Brie is 21 months old tomorrow, and she’s been into cutting paper since about 2 months ago.

So I got her a pair of child-friendly scissors.

The blunt, plastic type.

(Perhaps, being the 3rd child and seeing her older siblings cut paper and stuff triggers that interest in trying what cutting paper is like too?)

Anyway.

I thought of sharing these few tips that I personally tell and teach all my 3 kids when they were first introduced to cutting activities: 

1. Emphasise on scissor safety and supervise cutting activities

Scissor safety should always be emphasised, especially before cutting activities begin. Supervise the activity too, especially if they’ve just started using scissors.

2. Teach that scissors are ONLY for cutting paper!

That means, NO cutting of crayons, shirts, fingers, hair and other body parts.

When Brie started using her child-friendly scissors, she did try to cut all sorts of stuff (not herself though), like crayons, coloured pencil, lego bricks, anything. I know she’s just exploring, but I did take the item away and explain to her – in simple sentences – that scissors are for paper and then I give the paper she can actually cut to her hands. She then starts cutting that paper.

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Roughly, this is what I always say to her from the beginning:

Brie, you cannot cut this shirt *show shirt, look at Brie in the eye, and shake head*

Can you cut this shirt? *show shirt*

Nooo … *shake head*

If you want to cut, what do you cut? Paper *give paper*

Yes, it’s like talking to myself in the beginning =) And Brie would just give me a ‘what-are-you-talking-about’ look.

But, after a week, our conversation now goes like this:

Me : Brie, can you cut Jie-jie Anya’s book? *show Anya’s book that she’s tried to cut*

Brie : Noooo …

Me : If you want to cut, what do you cut?

Brie : Kertas (Indonesian for ‘Paper’)

And then, she’ll go to her paper and cut it.

(PS : To those who assume babies don’t understand much yet because they give zero or little responses, well … I’ve many to share that prove how babies do understand what’s happening around us, although they may not say anything. We just need to be repetitive and consistent in what we’re teaching them?)

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At Brie’s age, I don’t let her cut ‘any kind of paper she wants’.

Oh also, at Brie’s age, I don’t let her cut ‘any kind of paper she wants’.

At the moment, she cannot yet differentiate which ones that CAN be cut, and which ones that CANNOT be cut (ie. She’d end up trying to cut her sister’s school books, etc).

So when I spot her trying to cut the cover of our magazine that she’s found, for example, I’d explain why she cannot cut that one, and give her the paper that she CAN cut.

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If a child continues to want to cut something other than paper / the paper that we supply, the cutting activity is stopped and the scissors are taken away.

There are heaps of other cutting-activity tips out there, and here’s one from a kindergarten teacher :

If a child continues to want to cut something other than paper / the paper that we supply, the cutting activity is stopped and the scissors are taken away. Introduce the activity at another time. If the child continues to not use the scissors properly after being explained and taught, perhaps the child is not yet ready for activities involving scissors. Simply introduce the activity a few weeks later.

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So, when did you introduce cutting activities to your child?

Any other tips you can share when it comes to toddlers and cutting activities?

Last weekend, we *finally* managed to do something different than our usual routines.

We went go-karting with friends!

*YAY*

I guess I needed that quick, refreshing break too.

(Read: It’s like our Valentine’s weekend activity together as well? WITH 3 kids and 5 friends … yes, we’re romantic that way =)

We were actually on our way to a friend’s place at Pantai Indah Kapuk (PIK) when we drove past the go-kart track.

And I was like, ‘Oh look! Go-karts!! Let’s check this place out later since we’re already all the way here!!”

It’s called ‘PitStop Karting’ and having checked out at least 3 other tracks before (in Singapore and Malaysia), here’s what I thought of this one :

1. No clear signages / directions on how to get there. We left our friend’s place and we had to ask around (5 different people, to be exact) to finally locate the place.

(Btw, it’s nearest to a lake, and you’ll see quite a few people fishing there)

2. There’re only the words ‘GO KART’ (huge letters) written on the roof. We only found out that it’s called ‘PitStop Karting’ when we entered the building.

3. Rates :

Weekend rates : Rp45,000 / 5 minutes

Balaclava (head cover) : Rp12,500

They provide the helmet, and the balaclava can be brought along and worn the next time you visit.

To me, that cost is so much better compared to what we had to pay back in Singapore.

In Jakarta, Rp45,000 is around SG$5.50 (and this is for 5 minutes)

In Singapore, it’s about SG$40 per 10 minutes.

We tried go-karting in Malaysia, and it cost us about SG$17.50 per 10 minutes.

[Brie : No go-karting yet for me, but at least I wear the balaclava in style! =)]

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4. Two things that I found was ‘new’ (read: Never had this service in previous go-kart places)
a) We had a ‘proper’ start, with us waiting for the ‘lights’ to turn green before we could start zooming away

b) We were given a sheet with details of our ‘racing times’ (how many seconds we took to complete a lap). This way, we could measure our ‘performance’ against the others, and against ‘ourselves’ the next time we come and speed away again.

Anyway.

It was fun!

And I guess being stuck in traffic jams day in and day out here in Jakarta, … it’s really nice to drive in full speed once in a while =)

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This year, my hubby and I would mark our 12th wedding anniversary.

And you know what they say, … the longer you’re married, the less ‘connected’ you both most likely are?

You think?

Well, these are the few good, possible reasons: 

1. You both are busy with small children (and housework?) and there’ll be so little time to spend with each other (to connect, to be intimate, etc). You’re just too exhausted at the end of the day to spend any couple-time and do anything together.

You’re just too exhausted at the end of the day to spend any couple-time and do anything together.

2. Husbands are usually busy with building their career or business, and this naturally leads to them having less time spent with the wives.

3. Even when they are together, they probably are talking about the kids (problems at school, misbehaviours that took place earlier that day, etc), leaving even less time to connect with each other as ‘couples’.

4. Even when they’re together and they are NOT talking about the kids, they probably are busy with gadgets in their hands, eg. Mobile phones, ipads, the computer, etc, which leads to little connection and communication between the two.

5. They increasingly get so used to one another that they forget to show their appreciation and love for the *sweet* little things they see in their spouse.

There are many more that can always be added to the list, but I think I’ll stop there.

Enough points for us to reflect and ponder upon, no?

Even when they are together, they probably are talking about the kids

So, is it possible to be married for more than a decade, have kids, pursue own passion, build a career or business, and STILL enjoy each other’s company?

Well, … YES, I think it IS possible.

But.

NOT without both parties’ hard work, effort and commitment though.

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Marriage is not a fairytale.

(So many movies and even cartoons are so deceptive, they don’t portray the reality of marriage life. The movie ‘UP’, however, is awesome!)

Marriage is not just about love, love and love.

Marriage is not just about love, love and love.

Honeymoon days will be over, wedding photos will be stored away, and love can slowly fade away too, BUT when there’s a strong commitment between the two, when both parties share the same faith, loving and fearing God, … love can always be re-ignited, and marriage can be built – even stronger – over time.

Not easy.

But definitely do-able.

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Any thoughts?

To everyone who celebrates Chinese New Year, … GONG XI … GONG XI!!

May you have a new year filled with joy, good health, and of course thankfulness for everything that you have been blessed with.

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As for us here in Jakarta, Chinese New Year is not celebrated as ‘seriously’ as back in Singapore.

(The last time I celebrated Chinese New Year in Jakarta was like, … 20 years ago, may be?)

And so frankly, I do miss the whole festive feel.

I miss the usual CNY songs playing at malls and supermarkets. The decorations. The CNY events held everywhere else.

BUT.

Here’s a plus point.

We get to spend time with our family here.

Which is a privilege that we don’t quite have back in Singapore.

(Because really, Chinese New Year IS about getting together with families, yes?)

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Anyway.

Here’s one clip that I’ve been playing again and again at home … just so that we get to feel more Chinese New Year-sy here =)

Enjoy the song!

Parents nowadays,

So busy, juggling so many hats and responsibilities.

But at the end of the day,

are we ‘neglecting’ and ‘not spending the needed time’ with our very own little people who need us and our time the most?

I read this poem recently, and oh I felt guilty.

Sometimes I feel too physically tired that I skip reading books with the kids.

Often I have so much work that I don’t stop to laugh and have fun with them.

Childhood is not here to stay.

Childhood is not here to stay.

It’s a fact, and I’d like to remind myself about this again today.

I hope the poem below inspires you too,

to slow down and spend more time with the children, everyday.

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Slow Down Mummy
by Rebekah Knight

Slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
Slow down mummy, make yourself a cup of tea.
Slow down mummy, come and spend some time with me.

Slow down mummy, let’s put our boots on and go out for a walk,
let’s kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
Slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet and rest with me a while.

Slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, lets have some fun, lets bake a cake!
Slow down mummy I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, its nice when you just stop.

Sit with us a minute,
& listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood is not here to stay!

http://slowdownmummy.blogspot.co.uk/

Do little ones decide for themselves what they’d like to have, what they’d like do or say, and their parents are to ‘follow’ their decisions, instead of the other way around?

We all know how parents generally find it difficult to be in control of their children’s behaviour when they’ve reached their teenage years.

But what if their children are still young?

Do small children get to call the shots around the house these days?

Do little ones decide for themselves what they’d like to have, what they’d like do or say, and their parents are to ‘follow’ their decisions, instead of the other way around?

For example:
Child asks for the iPad so she can play games. Parent gives the iPad. Some 30 mins later, parent asks for the iPad back, child says NO. Parent insists, child asserts will and refuses (and talks back / reasons / throws tantrum, etc). Parent gives in and allows child to continue playing. And it happens almost ‘all the time, every day, throughout the day’.

Young children increasingly become ‘decision makers’ and parents give in, allow and follow their small children’s decisions.

Reality is, it’s happening in many families these days.

And it can be about anything. Child insisting on buying a toy, playing games on the internet / gadgets, etc.

ie. Young children increasingly become ‘kings and queens in the house’. They become ‘decision makers’ and parents (despite their ‘complaints’ about their children’s behaviour) give in, allow and follow their small children’s decisions.

I don’t know about you, but it’s heart-breaking to see all this happening in more and more families these days.

It’s a really sad, yet a very real issue that needs to be seriously addressed by us parents, I’d say.

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Yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook status :

“If a parent sighed and said, ‘My 5-year-old son doesn’t want to study. He only wants to play games on his iPad all the time.’ … what would you say to the parent?’ 

(Basically, the child is not interested in anything else other than playing games on his iPad, which is what he gets to do everyday)

Here are some of the responses I received: 

“Take back the iPad.”

“I would ask the parent, ‘Who gave him the iPad?'”

“Maybe should lessen the iPad time and more of outdoor? I mean 5 yrs old is not exactly in “studying” mode, but also shouldn’t spend so much on iPad?”

“I would ask the parent, ‘Who gave him the iPad?'”

“Throw away the iPad. It will be painful for a few days but once he realises that it is real he will do other things like reading.”

“I’d say, parents should have the control,..but parenting is so hard. Am guilty of the same crime!”

“Kids should always ask for permission and I agree that parents should be in total control and set a time limit… Stick to it.”

It’s about role modeling too. If the parent keep playing with smartphone or tablet, the kid will do so too.

It’s about role modeling too. If the parent keep playing with smartphone or tablet, the kid will do so too. Change hobbies to reading or walking in parks.”

“There should be boundaries set. Like the duration allowed and when it is allowed. But I do see increasingly, kids as young as 8 carrying iPads to Sunday school, taking down notes. Ah Yo!! Causes envy and strive from other kids. And a temptation indeed to want to play even when the Sunday school teacher is teaching.”

“Parents are responsible for every aspect of a child’s life, until a certain age. Their youth is our time to nurture, instill and give limitations. We live in a tech world now and I don’t see anything wrong with them, but with limits.”

I’ve seen too many families in a restaurant where Dad/Mom are on their Blackberry, and kids are having their own entertainment device.

“Gadgets are good, but NOT necessary for home use. I’ve seen too many families in a restaurant where Dad/Mom are on their Blackberry, and kids are having their own entertainment device. Family dinner becomes an occasion that we look forward to because we could play and be on our own?”

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Well, what’s YOUR thought on this?

And, what would YOU say?