Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Living in Jakarta is more commonly associated with living in houses.

Not quite with living in apartments.

And, I guess many people prefer living in houses than apartments because of the following ‘advantages” :

– A bigger space
– A garden
– A garage
– A domestic helper (or two)

(Any more you can probably add to the list?)

Well.

While living in a house here in Jakarta sure has advantages that apartments don’t, here are my personal five reasons why living in an apartment can be a better alternative :

1. Mosquitoes 

Mosquitoes are usually the main ‘problem’ when we live in houses, especially at night time. They are everywhere!

If we  live in high-rise apartments, mosquitoes are not quite a problem.
There’s hardly any (unless they follow you and get into the lift =)

[It’s common to see ‘electric mosquito killer’ rackets like these available for sale here in Jakarta =)]

…

When we live in a house, it’s impossible NOT to have house lizards, roaches and ants.

2. Lizards, roaches and ants

Ah, this is probably what I enjoy the most =)

When we live in a house, it’s impossible NOT to have house lizards, roaches and ants.

(These creatures naturally have easy access to houses)

Now, since I *unfortunately* have this phobia of house lizards, to not encounter these creatures every day, I’m so VERY grateful!
Note:
They still can appear at our apartment, but the possibility of having them around is much lower compared to if we live in a house =)

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3. Apartment Facilities

Generally a swimming pool, tennis courts and a gym are available in most apartments.

And this, surely is something we enjoy having! =)

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4. No ‘flood headaches’

Although the surrounding apartment areas can be flooded, at least we know that our own furniture and belongings are safe from the flood.

(I very well know what damage floods can do to a home, because my own parents live in a flood-prone area)

…

I am one who prefers to NOT have a live-in maid though. So, in a way, living in an apartment works out well for our family, because while we enjoy our privacy, there’s also LESS space to manage and clean =)

5.  Live-In Maid

If we live in a house in Jakarta, the dirt and dust can be rather overwhelming. Having a live-in maid can help keep the house clean and manageable.

I am one who prefers to NOT have a live-in maid though. So, in a way, living in an apartment works out well for our family, because while we enjoy our privacy, there’s also LESS space to manage and clean =)

(Don’t get me wrong though, … apartments in Jakarta DO get dirty and dusty too! I sweep twice a day at least)

We simply engage a part-time helper who so far comes three times a week for a couple of hours (and she does the overall cleaning, ironing, etc)

This arrangement works out great so far!

…

Anyway.

Those are just my personal views on living in houses versus living in apartments in Jakarta.

What is YOUR view?

Which one would you prefer and why? 

Sometimes I wonder what goes through the mind of babies when they see something.

When they choose to dance and sing out loud.

Or when they suddenly cry a good cry for 20 seconds and chuckle not too long later.

…

It’s not the sentimental ‘Mommy I love you’, or ‘Daddy, hug me please’ kind of phrase though.

Anyway, I thought I should post a quick update on Brie today.

Because, she uttered her very first ‘complete phrase’!

It’s not the sentimental ‘Mommy I love you’, or ‘Daddy, hug me please’ kind of phrase though.

It was, ‘Woof ek-ek ba-oooo’

Which was Indonesian for ‘Doggie poop is smelly’

I was like, YAY …  it was a phrase! Her very first phrase!

But then errr … hang on.

Doggie Poop?

Oh well anyway.

Keep it up, Brie!

*Good observation and conclusion!*

And mmm, a different topic would be nice too next time?

It’s been a year and 2 days since we last moved to Jakarta.

(I can still vividly remember those hectic packing days!)

And guess what?

We’re onto another milestone in our family life!

Today, we’re leaving our rented apartment to move into our own.

Yes, our own apartment!

Finally! *YAY*”

Okay, actually we can only move in to our new home sometime next week because it’s not quite ready.

BUT still … we feel so blessed to have a home we can call our own!

…

Anyway.

Looks like I’ll need to invest my time and energy to move, unpack and settle into our new home.

Which means I’d probably need to be away for a few days from blogging.

But. Do add me on Facebook, and follow me on Instagram and Twitter yeah!

Because with the ease of my phone, I can still share photos and updates there! =)

Cheers!

I came across this poem the other day :

Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.

If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, 

they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big.

Because to them, all of it has always been big stuff.

– Catherine M. Wallace

…

… sometimes ALL my kids want to speak to me AT THE SAME TIME. Then. What do we do?

Now.

As much as I 100% agree with the poem, as a mom of three, the real challenge is : sometimes ALL my kids want to speak to me AT THE SAME TIME.

Then.

What do we do?

Obviously I can only pay attention to one child at a time?

…

So when such situations happen, this is what I usually do :

1. I prioritise and listen to the child whose conversation topic is ‘more urgent’

To a child, almost everything can be urgent =)

But then to me, there’s urgent, and there’s ‘more urgent’.

For example (a scenario during a car ride) :

Urgent
Anya: “Brie wants to have some more biscuits now, Mommy.”

More urgent
Vai: “Mommy!! Look out the window! A man just fell from his bike and it looks like he’s hurt!”

Obviously, the biscuit can wait for a minute?

…

2. If none of the kids’ topics are urgent,then I prioritise the child who speaks to me first, and I then tell the other kids to wait for their turn (read: not interrupt my conversation with the child), and that I’ll listen to what they have to say immediately after.

…

3. If I really need to switch my attention for a quick while to child no. 2 during my conversation with child no. 1, then I’d simply tell child no. 1 to wait for a while, and I quickly get back to her after I’m done with child no.2 (whose request is ‘more urgent’ at the time).

Note:
Having more than one child in the family allows the children to learn the art of ‘waiting’ while allowing others to be listened to as well. And if you ask me, I think this is a good exercise for each child, ie. For him/her to know that it’s ‘not always about you’, and that they’re to respect their parents who also have important matters to attend to as well.

…

4. If I’m in the middle of a conversation with my hubby or another adult, and a child wants to speak to me, he/she is to tap on my hand or shoulder and ask, ‘Can I ask you something?’ If I really cannot be interrupted, I’d tell them, ‘Please wait.’

Note: 
Teaching this to the kids is still an ‘ongoing process’, which means although they’ve been taught again and again about ‘how to interrupt politely when they really have to’, every now and then I still do get interrupted noisily by the two older kids, eg. During a serious conversation at work.

When that happens, yes it’s irritating, and yes, I’d remind them again about learning to watch their manners.

…

It takes time to teach ourselves to listen well, and to teach a child to sometimes wait before they’re listened to.

To me, it takes time (and lots of reminders and self-reflections) to teach ourselves to listen well, and to teach a child to wait before they’re listened to.

It’s a ‘skill’ that cannot be learned overnight.

It’s about children respecting the adults, and the adults respecting the children and their needs to be listened to.

So yes, it’s an ongoing process, and I too am still learning to be a better listener to my little ones.

…

How do you tackle your ‘listening situations’ with the kids at home?

Sunday.

One late afternoon.

An amazing sight.

Buildings, beautiful sky and cloud formations, smokey horizons, and one clear view of a mountain!

…

It was only when we moved to Jakarta as a family, and started living in an apartment – rather high up above the ground – that I was ‘introduced’ to daily wonders of God’s creation!

I never knew that there’s such a stunning view in Jakarta.

I mean, a beautiful mountain view? From Jakarta?

I’ve always lived ‘on the ground’, in houses.

Even our unit back in Singapore is at a low level.

It was only when we moved to Jakarta as a family last year, and started living in an apartment – rather high up above the ground – that I was ‘introduced’ to daily wonders of God’s creation!

(which explains why I’ve been taking quite a lot of ‘sky shots’ from my balcony, and sharing them on my Instagram and Facebook =)

[This is what I often see from our balcony, and thanks to my hubby who secretly took this shot, you can see what I often do there too during sunsets =) ]  

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From the ground up, we tend to see Jakarta as a crowded and busy city of traffic jams, mess, pollution, and buildings.

BUT, when we are on higher ground, those ‘details’ we tend to focus our attention to when we’re on the ground somehow become ‘insignificant’.

They become so little. Seemingly non-existent to the eyes, even.

And instead, when we’re so high up, we get to see a totally different kind of view!

We get to see the overall bigger picture of everything.

A bird’s eye view.

We even get to see beautiful sights so far away from us, views that usually are ‘hidden’ behind the buildings that surround us day to day.

[Shot taken by Hubby, using his telephoto lens and DSLR]

…

… from high above, God sees everything so differently. HE sees the bigger picture of everything. HE sees what we can’t see because ‘we are on the ground’. 

You know what.

As I immersed myself in the beauty of what I saw earlier today, a thought crossed my mind.

I am like the very people who are on the ground.

I tend to focus my time and energy on the details (problems, daily issues at work or at home) that surround me every day.

And often, I’m bogged down, drowned, in them.

But, from high above, God sees everything so differently.

HE sees the bigger picture of everything.

God sees what WE cannot see, because ‘we are on the ground’ and HE’s way up there.

HE is the Creator of all things and that’s why we can rely upon Him and put our hope and trust in Him, as we live day to day ‘on the ground’.

…

One reason to be in awe and thankful to our almighty God today.

And I’m learning, to be thankful everyday.

…

PS: We’re moving out to another apartment next week, and I think I’ll be seeing sunrises there, instead of sunsets. I’ll miss my daily beautiful sunsets and skyline, but … at the same time, I’m so looking forward to fresh morning sights from our new home real soon too! =)

Brie is 21 months old now!

(Yes, that’s THREE months away from turning TWO! Baby Brie is growing up too fast!)

Okay. Time to jot down some quick updates on our littlest in the family!

Here goes :

>> She’s into scribbling and colouring.

She loves it too when we name an object, and she’s to find it on the page.

>> We talk to her mainly in Indonesian, with some English too at times, and we can see how her vocabulary is growing by the day.

Note: She still pronounces them in her own ‘baby language’ though, which only her family understands =)

Words like,

– ‘U U’ for ‘Susu’ = Milk
– ‘Ja-to’ = Fall down
– ‘Ba-ca’ = Read
– ‘Lee-at’ = Want to see
– ‘Peeessh’ = Please
– ‘E O’ = Video
– ‘Ma-oo’ = I want
– ‘Auwww’ = Painful
– ‘Dee-Keet’ = Little Bit
– ‘Meow’ = Cat
– ‘Oof’ = Dog
– ‘Cha-na’ = Pants
– ‘Oop’ = Soup
– ‘Boof’ = Shoes
– ‘Pee-pee’ = Pass urine
– ‘E-E’ = Pass motion
– ‘Ba-oo’ = Smelly =)
– ‘Mum Mum’ = Eat
– ‘Mee-nyoom’ = Drink
– ‘Bo-bo’ = Sleep
– ‘Dawww’ = Draw

>> She somehow insists on calling her big sister and big brother by name!

Our ‘repeat after me’ conversation would usually go like this:

Mom: Daddy 
Brie: Deeee….

Mom: Mommy 
Brie: Mommy

Mom: Brie 
Brie : Beee….

Mom: Ko-Ko  (means : big brother)
Brie: Va-eeeee ….

Mom: Brie, say … ‘Ko Ko’ 
Brie: Va-eeeee …..

Mom: Jie-jie
Brie: Nya nyaaaa….

Mom: Brie, say ‘Jie-Jie … Jie-Jie’
Brie: Nya nyaaaa…..

=)

And, strangely it’s been like this since the very first time she learned how to address her big sister and brother a few months ago! Till today, she calls them by name, although we keep teaching her to say and call them as ‘Jie-Jie’ and ‘Ko Ko’.

[Playing with colours using an old sponge]

>> She’d insist on putting on her own clothes, pants, socks and shoes

When I want to put them on for her, she’d almost always go, ‘Beeee… Beee…!!’, basically telling me how SHE wants to do it herself.

And so usually, I’d help a little when she’s putting on her shirt, and I’d remind her how the ‘picture on the front of her shorts’ needs to face outwards before she puts them on. Then, she puts the pants on herself.

As for her shoes, she still sometimes wears her right shoe on her left =)

>> The one song she sings well is ‘Bapa Terima Kasih’ (which means ‘Father, thank you’)
>> Brie is into looking at books (and getting us to read them with her)

>> She’s partially potty-trained

Out of all three kids, I’m surprised how Brie is half potty-trained by now (because none of my two older ones even indicated any ‘potty training readiness’ at this age)

She hardly wears any diapers at home. I’d bring her to sit on our toilet bowl every 20 mins or so, and she’d usually then pee (or poop).

Sometimes she’d tell me when she wants to pee or poop too, which still surprises me each time she actually does pee or poop into the toilet bowl!

(Note : ‘Accidents’ still happen every now and then)

>> She’s slowly being weaned off breastfeeding

Three weeks ago, I’ve managed to cut down all breastfeeding session to just once or twice a day (eg. Early in the morning when she wakes up). BUT, 10 days ago, Brie was down with fever, cough, wheezing and runny nose.

For a week, she didn’t eat much at all (like, only 20% of her usual daily intake), she’d vomit out the formula I spoonfeed for her, and she’s just lethargic. She’d cry during the day and night, and so I ended up comforting her and breastfeeding her again.

As to the question, do I still produce milk? Yes, apparently I still do (Thank God!).

But anyway, I really do aim and hope she can be fully weaned off breastfeeding by the time she turns two.

[Brie would insist to also have a paint brush when Anya and Vai have their painting session]

>> She loves to play with her big sister and brother

She’d giggle and play with them. She’d want to hold their hands.

She likes it when Anya carries her around. She’d cry (and ask for them) when Anya and Vai didn’t hop into the car together with her (because they’re going away somewhere else with Daddy).

And oh, just recently, as she’s about to climb onto her stroller, Vai smiled and said to me, ‘Aww… I’m tired, I want to sit on the pram.’

As he walked off, Brie actually turned and called out to him, ‘Va-eee …. Va-eeee …. ‘, then she pointed to her stroller and said, ‘Duduk … duduk..’ (which means ‘sit down’ in Indonesian).

And I was like, awww … that’s so sweet of her. When Vai told her how it’s okay, and that she can sit on her stroller instead, she then climbed and sat on it.

>> And when we pray together (eg. Before her mealtime), she’d close her eyes tightly with both hands folded together, and end it with ‘Ma-meeeen’ (her version of ‘Amen’ =) 

Love this.

>> She’s 11.5 kg now 

…

… God who has entrusted her in our care will surely be with us too, every step of the way.

ANYWAY.

As much as I’m enjoying her baby days, the littlest in our family obviously is not so little anymore.

Brie continually grows in her independence, and she’s showing more and more understanding towards what’s going on in the world around her.

And, although we know parenting our little Brie will naturally get challenging as she grows up, … it’s comforting and reassuring to know that we’re never alone in our parenting journey, for God who has entrusted her in our care will surely be with us too, every step of the way.

May God give us all the joy, strength, patience and wisdom we need everyday, to be the kind of parents HE wants us to be.

Dr Andrew Gih, a Chinese Revivalist, once shared this thought in a Gospel Rally :

If I had 100 pieces of clothes and I wore them all at once, I’d die from the heat.

If I had 100 beds and everyday I moved from one bed to another, I would not remember which ones I had slept on.

If I had loads of food and I finish them all, I’d die from being too full.

If we had any excessive things, should we brag or boast about them?

…

As sinners, we have the tendency to care only for our own profits and losses.

We are more concerned only with what we gain, and what we lose.

Let’s learn to share, care and think about other people’s well being.

Because although we are all different from one another, we’re all created in the image of God.

…

Let’s learn to respect and understand other people.

Because it’s the basics of a harmonious family, a less individualistic society.

I won’t always cry, Mummy,
When you leave the room,
and my supermarket tantrums,
Will end too soon.

I won’t always wake, Daddy,
For cuddles through the night,
and one day you will miss,
Having a chocolate face to wipe.

You won’t always wake to find my foot,
Is kicking you out of bed,
Or find me sideways on your pillow,
where you want to lay your head.

You won’t always have to carry me,
In asleep from the car,
Or piggy back me down the road,
When my little legs can’t walk that far.

So cherish every cuddle, remember them all,
One day Mummy, I won’t be this small.

(From ‘My Children Mean Everything To Me‘)

…

I read the poem above and I just felt … overwhelmed with emotions.

And I think it’s because the line where it says, ‘I won’t always cry, Mummy, when you leave the room’, sounds so familiar to us.

And, the part where it says, ‘You won’t have to carry me … asleep from the car’ also happens to us often too.

I guess I’m just feeling emotional because I know my children will ‘overgrow’ childhood soon.

And as much as I am often annoyed at their frequently whiny requests, bickering and me seeing dirty socks or pyjamas being left on the bed, I think I would one day deeply miss seeing the little mess the kids leave around our home.

I’d miss the silly laughters during our car rides, and even perhaps … the bickering too.

Anya, Vai and Brie,

When you read this post one day,

and when you are all grown up and living away from us,

Know that Mommy and Daddy have always loved you all very much.

How we’ve always treasured spending our days and years with you.

And how we are thankful to God for entrusting all three of you in our care.