“Thanks” to today’s gadgets, more and more kids tend to say, “I don’t know what I’m good at. I don’t know what I like. I’m not interested in anything actually.” (But somehow they are interested …
God gives parents a little congregation, i.e. our children, whom we are to shepherd, teach and share the gospel with.
Each day, they “read” and “hear” us, and watch how we live our lives, the kinds of choices we make, etc.
Many parents talk about the Bible a lot, tell their children to pray, but the children can hardly see their parents do it themselves, or at least struggle to do it daily.
The children do not experience God’s mercy, love, goodness, holiness and righteousness through their parents. No wonder many children leave their faith when they are teenagers.
May God help us to be a living example for our little congregation.
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This post is inspired by Rev. Michael Densmoor’s seminar on “Modelling the Gospel to Your Children”.
Recording of the seminar can be accessed on “GRII Ngagel” Youtube (in Indonesian)
He remembers roads and directions really well, while I’m quite hopeless at it.
And so the list continues.
…
Do we share any similarities?
Of course.
It is because we both prefer exploring the outdoors (than the mall) that we easily agreed on going mountain hiking when our youngest was six years old.
And, I could list out more “shared values and interests” easily.
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Someone ever asked me, “Does it matter if you are very different from your spouse?”
Well, my answer was:
First of all, if you’re NOT yet married, then THAT question should be considered super seriously by both parties.
BUT, if you’re already married, it should not be about “finding” your differences and fighting over them anymore.
Sure, you have things that you do NOT like about your spouse. You have disagreements, too. But, it’s no longer about who wins the argument and who loses.
(And if it’s about “right or wrong”, for us who believe in Christ, the standard of “right and wrong” is the Scriptures)
It’s no longer about who wins the argument and who losesWhen both of you are married, you have been “united” and two different individuals have been made into “one”.
And, if one plus one is equal to one, then “a bit of the wife” and “a bit of the husband” must be “trimmed” so that the two of you can be equal to one.
(I hope I’m making sense. It’s so much easier to explain this in person than in writing =)
Okay, let me say it this way.
It is NO longer about me, and what “I” wantIn marriage, both will need to do a lot of self denials, sacrifices, self control, forgiving, etc. Both parties need to learn to be humble enough to change for the better.
It is NO longer about me, and what “I” want.
The wife may sometimes need to let go of her personal preferences. The husband may sometimes need to go the extra mile and help out with the kids (even when he doesn’t feel like it).
Both also need to hold their tongues and not say phrases like: “I told you so!” “You are NEVER …” “You are ALWAYS …”
Because such phrases (that give “temporary satisfaction”) will break the relationship rather than build it.
Now, the big question is, “Is it easy to do?”
Of course. NOT.
Like most things in life, it’s easier said than done.
But, it’s not impossible.
Building lifelong relationships take hard work and commitment, and most importantly, God’s grace and help.
The latter is what I’m clinging on daily.
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May God help us, all wives and husbands, and give us the needed patience, faithfulness, joy and wisdom every day.
Because responsibilities and basic “skills” need to be learned and practiced, starting from home.
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When I was still in Singapore, getting ready to relocate to Jakarta, I was told (by a few people) how we “must” have a live-in helper and a driver if we’re to survive living in Jakarta.
At the time I could only thank them for the advice.
I myself had no idea how it would be like to live in Jakarta as a family of 5. Brie was 10 months old at the time.
All I knew was, we’re ready to face new struggles/challenges ahead, with God’s help, … and we’d choose for ourselves “how” we would raise our children.
One thing for sure, I would never want to give my role (as their fulltime mom, their primary caregiver) to a helper/nanny.
Anyway.
That, was 9 years ago.
And I could say now that we didn’t follow the advice.
And, we survived.
(Thank God for His mercy and providence which we truly experience daily)
When they’re small, being together seems like forever.
Now that the eldest will, in 2 years time, most likely be away from home for university (Don’t know where to just yet), a different reality starts to sink in.
“Eh, … so jiejie Anya cannot join us the next time we go to the mountains??”
*looks at big sister*
“You won’t be in our family photos!”
…
“Enjoy your time together. It’s a blessing to have siblings,” I often say.
Tips: – If you can go there early in the morning, on weekdays, it’d be best, because you can totally avoid the crowds
– If you’re there on a Saturday late afternoon (like we did), there’s quite a bit of a crowd. Traffic was already slow towards this area.
– Free car park areas We parked our car some 10 mins walking distance from this area.
– We love the overall open space concept and how cute bikes are available for hire at an affordable price (Rental of our ‘family bike’: Rp100.000/hour)
We chose to hire the bike so that we could avoid “being in the crowd”, explore more of the area ‘faster’ and together as a family.
Kids have wants. And the reality is, they don’t always get them, because perhaps what they ask for and want is harmful, unnecessary, or is simply not good for them. There could be plenty more …
If you ask me, I think NO parents are spared from challenging parenting moments every single day.
Toddler tantrums. Intentional disobedience. Talk backs. Unappreciative comments. Moments that drain our energy, numb our minds and tire us …
‘Why do you climb mountains as a family?’, some people asked me.
We have many reasons =)
One of them is, it’s a wonderful way to experience something together as a family.
Yes. We really think so.
When we …
I was reading some articles the other day on today’s busy Moms and how everyone needs some ‘Me-time’ to recharge.
One article says:
“When we are stressed, overwhelmed and tired, we have a shorter fuse. We …
My husband and I attended a 3-day parenting workshop last week, and it was such a blessing.
We learned and were reminded of so many things too.
Now, since I usually blog about motherhood and kids, this …
My name is Leonny and I’m a Mom of three – Anya, Vai and Brie. I love to capture and share what I treasure, learn and observe in life, which includes parenting thoughts and other pro-family messages – basically, topics that are close to my heart. I hope my blog can inspire everyone who comes to visit.
Connect with me on Facebook (leonny.atmadja), Instagram (leonny_oureverydaythings) and subscribe to my Youtube (youtube.com/watchourchannel)
