Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

If you’re parents of faith, whose faith is placed on Jesus Christ who has died on the cross and redeemed you from the punishment of sins, I’d assume that just like me, you long to see your children place their faith in Christ too.

You’d wish to see them walk in Christ and depend on Him as they go through their ups and downs in life everyday.

But, when it comes to our children and their personal relationship with Christ, here’s one quote that served as a reminder to me today:

You can’t save your children.

You can’t make them love Jesus.

But you can be praying that God will tenderize their hearts, open their hearts.

—Nancy Leigh DeMoss

How true.

We cannot ‘force’ our faith to them.

But we can share our love for Christ with them.

The goodness and faithful love we have received through all the years.

How we learn to walk in faith in HIM through life’s ups and downs.

Yes, we can instill and teach them the Word of God.

We can be a living example to them.

And.

Most importantly, we need to remember to pray for them, for their hearts, for them to experience God’s love personally, so they too can be amazed at His love and mercy that their hearts are open to Him too.

May God help us be more prayer-ful everyday.

The other day, a close relative – who has spent a few days with our family – said to me,

‘Your kids are very well-behaved.”

He was referring to what he saw.

My kids ate all on their own, spoke politely to the helpers at my Mom’s place, they’d say to others who happened to be around them, ‘Makan dulu ya …’ before they started having their meals, etc.

(Btw, that’s Indonesian for “I’m eating first ya …”, a polite way to say here in Indonesia, if you’re about to eat something before others)

I smiled, and said thank you.

Hmm.

Say thank you to those who clear your table at eating placesWhen it comes to teaching good manners to children, I’m sure all parents agree when I say, there are a lot of ‘behind-the-scenes’ efforts (and mind-numbing situations!) that most others don’t see.

Because, good manners do NOT happen overnight.

As the parent, I’ve lost count of the number of times I have to remind, rebuke, scold and encourage the kids.

Like, reminding them BEFORE entering a friend’s house, to greet and say hello to the host and others they see inside.

Reminding them BEFORE a birthday party, to always say thank you when receiving gifts.

And in our daily chats with each other, we instill values like :

– It is important to speak clearly and look at the person you’re talking to, to answer / reply when asked a question

– Apologise when you’ve made a mistake.

Even when we’ve made a mistake unintentionally (eg. Stepped on a friend’s toe without knowing), we have hurt another person and we should say something like, ‘Oh sorry about that, I didn’t know I stepped on your toe.’

(Btw, apologising is not easy! For both kids and adults, I’d say)

– Gifts are ‘given’ to us without us ‘working’ for them, so it is a must for us to show our thankfulness, at least through our kind words to the giver

If you’re asking someone for help, please do speak in a polite tone, yes … with ‘please and thank you’

– If you’re asking someone for help (eg. Restaurant staff, domestic helpers at my Mom’s place), please do speak in a polite tone, yes … with ‘please and thank you’

– Say thank you to those who clear your table at eating places

(Sadly, this somehow is often not exercised by families, especially in Asian countries, where they feel it is the cleaners’ JOB anyway to clean/clear the tables, that they are PAID to do the job so why do we still need to thank them?)

– If someone is paying for your meals (eg. When we eat out for lunch / dinner with the big family), please do say thank you to the person

The list goes on and on.

And, here are three other things that are even more important I think:

1. We the parents need to be the role model.
We need to make the effort to walk the talk, as consistently as possible.

2. Thankfulness must come from the heart.
When we understand WHY we need to be thankful, WHAT the other person has done, only then we can truly be thankful and express it through our actions and words, ie. It should never be ‘lip service’.

3. Most important of all, we must be thankful to God for everything that we have.
For blessing us with a family, a home, food, life and health, school, friends, opportunities to learn this and that, for the gift of salvation, for everything. Because everything that we are, and everything that we have, come from above. It’s a gift. A blessing.

…

regardless of how consistent we are in walking our talk, there are times (many times) when our children *still* behave like they’ve never quite been taught about mannerism and gratefulness.And you know what?

Here’s the reality.

Even after the tens and thousands of words we’ve uttered, and regardless of how consistent we are in walking our talk, there are times (many times) when our children *still* behave like they’ve never quite been taught about mannerism and gratefulness.

But then again, that’s just us human, isn’t it?

We simply need constant training and reminders.

Again.

And again.

And again.

(Thank God, HE is so patient in training us and dealing with us everyday too!)

Oh well.

Let’s ask for God’s wisdom and perseverance, to keep on teaching, encouraging, rebuking and reminding ourselves and the little ones, to do what’s right and true.

It’ll be a life-long struggle.

May God help and strengthen us in becoming the kind of parents HE wants us to be. Everyday.

I had my first driver’s license in Perth, Australia, when I was 16.

Traffic there was and is still relatively orderly.

(Read: Most drivers follow the road rules! And even when there’s quite a bit of traffic during peak hours, it’s still an orderly traffic jam =)

Now.

I left Perth some 15 years ago, stopped driving altogether after that, and TWO years ago, I started driving again, … on the streets of Jakarta!

Which is a total OPPOSITE to anything called ‘orderly’.

(I’ll share more about our daily adventures on the streets of Jakarta one of these days! =)

Anyway.

I just want to say, I so so sooo appreciate the oh-so-smooth, AND spacious, AND orderly streets of Perth!

I was like, WOW … the streets are NOT bumpy!

And hey, NO HOLES on the streets! *WOOT*

[My daily traffic view]

In Perth, all the cars are so distant from each other!

(read: I don’t have to drive slowly to make sure the cars / motorbikes on my left and right won’t TOUCH my car!)

NO motorbikes squeezing in between my car and all the other vehicles that happen to be nearby too! Hehe.

It was such a blissful driving experience!

Really.

…

Ah well, funny how we appreciate things MORE, only after we have experienced WORSE conditions.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I now have a TEN year old daughter.

I mean, … TEN?

*yikes*

Time flies!

We had a mini celebration with friends after school, just like what we did last year.

Theme

Hmm. I kinda planned for a ‘Frozen-themed’ birthday (aim as high as the sky, they say, hehe).

But, I ended up making a very simple cake.

Because.

One of the oven knobs broke soon after I baked the main cake (and so I cannot have the grills on top and bottom switched on)

Wonderful.

The original idea was to have the cupcakes (with icy blue cupcake papers) placed around the main cake.

You know, just to give an extra touch of ‘icy blue colour’.

So.

I decided to just make icy blue flowers then, to be placed near the birthday cake!

Using blue cupcake papers!

And hey, I quite liked how they turned out.

Cake

I chose to make Butter Cake.

Because it’s simple and sort of ‘fail-proof’, haha.

(Click HERE for the Butter Cake recipe!)

I really had not much time to prepare the cake ‘properly’.

No icing etc, I mean.

I simply smeared the cake with strawberry jam, and covered it with fondant.

I know this meant the cake’s surface is not ‘nice and smooth’, but oh well … this worked alright for me. Given the time constraint.

Goodie Bags

Somehow I am not into giving out sweets as goodie bags.

Snacks and boxed drinks are fine, but not candies. So that’s exactly what we gave out.

Oh btw, the brown paper bags and the ‘snowflakes’ were all hand-made! =)

I used those brown papers, usually used to cover text-books, to make the paper bags.

Anya and Vai cut out the snowflakes, using origami paper.

Personalised hand-mades, though often are not as nice as store-bought ones, somehow can make the children feel more appreciative towards the ‘end product’.

It’s like, ‘Hey, I made these!’

(read: I’m sure they’re less likely to ‘mishandle’ the goodie-bags)

Yes, more time consuming to make these, but somehow I feel this worked out better for everyone.

Like, a little family project that belonged to everyone.

(and it allowed the siblings to contribute and make the eldest’s birthday ‘better’ too)

We gave out a little piece of paper, an instruction on how to make snowflakes out of origami paper.

I also did a little ‘live demonstration’ to the whole class on how to fold and cut it =)

And you know what, the kids loved it.

I heard, the kids continued to cut and make their own versions of snowflakes even days and days after Anya’s birthday!

Love how a little something could inspired the whole class to create!

Anyway.

I think the whole get-together at school went well.

And oh, Anya’s friends thought the butter cake tasted awesome!

*WHOAAA … one encouraged mom here! =)*

…

Thank God for showering our little family with so much more than we deserve.

Thank God for entrusting Anya in our family.

Thank God for everything.

There is a time for everything.

There’s a time for everything that is done on earth.

There is a time to be born.
And there’s a time to die.
There is a time to plant.
And there’s a time to pull up what is planted.

There is a time to cry.
And there’s a time to laugh.
There is a time to be sad.
And there’s a time to dance.

There is a time to scatter stones.
And there’s a time to gather them.
There is a time to hug.
And there’s a time not to hug.

There is a time to search.
And there’s a time to stop searching.
There is a time to keep.
And there’s a time to throw away.

There is a time to tear.
And there’s a time to mend.
There is a time to be silent.
And there’s a time to speak.

God has made everything beautiful in its time.

(Ecclesiastes 3)

…

Our family is going through one challenging phase of life this week.

Something that I can only share sometime later.

For now, here’s what I’d like to write and share with you:

Some of us are blessed with good health and longer years in life.

Some others are not.

While many wish to have a good, long life, I personally wonder: what good is a long life if it’s lived for oneself?

Confucius lived for about 70 years, and more than two thousand years later, people still talk about him and his teachings.

Jesus Christ lived for just about 33 years, yet His life and what He has done has impacted millions of people, including me, right until today.

So, my question, to myself and to you is, what do we do with the days that have been given to us?

… 

Indeed, there’s a time for everything.

If we’re still given a day today, let’s live it meaningfully, for the glory of our Creator.

And may our lives be a blessing to others as well.

Amen.

Here’s my reply if anyone ever asked what I feel about having three kids :

Having three kids is challenging.

Because we need to deal with three different temperaments, and unique characters daily.

They can make your day, but they too can make you feel you’ve failed big time as a parent.Yes, they’re fun to be with, but they can also be quite tough to handle at times.

Their giggles can make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but their bickering and screaming can numb the mind.

They can make your day, but they too can make you feel you’ve failed big time as a parent.

They can play oh-so-sweetly with each other, but they too can snatch and scream.

…

Having said that though, here’s one thing that I definitely will say about having three kids:

To have been entrusted with these three little people is one HUGE privilege that God has given to me.

And I seriously mean it.

I learn so much from parenting these three little ones.

I learn more about juggling and squeezing my time,

about managing and controlling my own emotions,

about giving,

about self-denial,

about forgiving,

about closing one eye and simply laughing at small matters,

and most importantly, about depending upon God for strength, patience and mercy.

…

Life as a Mom of three little children is not easy.

But it sure is a privilege that I know I must be grateful for every day.

Man.

I’ve been SO busy in the past weeks.

I mean, it’s like I can’t get to finish whatever work that I have in my list, and my things-to-do-list just keeps on piling on.

And, when I tell myself ‘I MUST CLEAR MY WORK TONIGHT!’, ummm … I either feel dead tired that I need to hit my bed right now, or … it IS already 2am in the morning, and I do need to go to bed before getting up again in 3.5 hours.

*Wave if you’ve ever felt this way too!*

Well. It’s just one of those juggling challenges I’m facing right now.

Family. Housework. Work. Ministry.

And umm, I guess the fact that we spend *too much* time on the road does NOT help too (read: traffic jams)

So there you go.

My super valid reason for not blogging as often as I would really LOVE to.

*boo*

…

Anyway.

I hope to get back to a nice day-to-day rhythm real soon!

Once I slowly sort things out.

Hope you’ll stay with me …

People say that if you have a girl as your eldest, it’s better, because she will help you take care of her younger siblings.

While in some ways it is true, in many other ways I’d have to say that generally, siblings do NOT naturally take care of each other.

Regardless of whether the eldest is a girl or a boy.

Because, they ARE children after all. And kids being kids, they do naturally tend to put their needs and wants (and convenience) as number one.

Helping a sibling with his chinese test VERSUS reading a book I’ve been wanting to read?

Listening to a sibling who’s excitedly showing me a baby book VERSUS rushing to do my homework so that I could watch that ‘Finding Nemo’ episode?

Stopping to cheer a sibling who’s just fallen down VERSUS running with my friends towards that swing at the playground?

Well, sometimes, it is just so much easier to NOT bother.

(read: It is simply our sinful nature. The tendency to only care for one’s own interest is not a surprise to any of us)

So, I guess in the end, it comes down to how they’re all trained to look after each other since day one.

And I have to say, … it. is. not. easy.

Lots of explaining, encouraging, giving of examples, praising, scolding, encouraging again, giving killer looks, and … more scoldings.

It does get mentally exhausting at times.

But.

When we do see the gradual change in their sibling relationships (read: seeing more and more loving moments between siblings in a day),

it. is. priceless.

Note:

My parenting journey is still very looonngg.

The three kiddos still have a loonnnggg way to go too in nurturing and strengthening their relationships as siblings.

Which is why, I will have to say that it is only by God’s grace if we as a family still wishes to learn and do what’s right everyday.

Because, it is so much easier to just, not bother.