Have we ever asked ourselves : how much do I understand my children’s learning style?
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I’d like to share with you this story, taken from a talk given by Sir Ken Robinson at TED, titled ‘Do schools kill creativity?’ .
The story sheds more light to my understanding about children’s unique learning styles and how we parents really need to be more open-minded in searching for what works better and best for our children, even though their learning style is not like everyone else’s.
To read the original article, click HERE!
(I’ve edited the texts to shorten it a little, but without changing the essence of the story)
[Left: Gillian Lynne as a small girl in 1930s, and Gillian in 1950s. Photos taken from the internet]
I had with a wonderful woman who may be most people have never heard of, she’s called Gillian Lynne.
She’s a choreographer and everybody knows her work. She did Cats, and Phantom of the Opera, she’s wonderful. I had lunch one day and I said, ‘Gillian, how did you get to be a dancer?’
She said, it was interesting, when she was at school, she was really hopeless. And the school, in the 30s, wrote her parents and said, “We think Gillian has a learning disorder.” She couldn’t concentrate, she was fidgeting. I think now they’d say she had ADHD. Wouldn’t you? But this was the 1930s and ADHD hadn’t been invented at this point. It wasn’t an available condition. People weren’t aware they could have that.
Anyway, she went to see this specialist with her mother. She sat on a chair at the end, and she sat for 20 minutes, while this doctor talked to her mother about all the problems Gillian was having at school.
She was disturbing people, her homework was always late, and so on, little kid of 8. In the end, the doctor went and sat next to Gillian and said, ‘Gillian, I’ve listened to all these things that your mother has told me, and I need to speak to her privately.’
He said, “Wait here, we’ll be back. We won’t be very long,” They went and left her.
But as they went out the room, he turned on the radio that was sitting on his desk, and when they got out the room, he said to her mother, “Just stand and watch her.”
The minute they left the room, she said, she was on her feet, moving to the music. They watched for a few minutes and he turned to her mother and said, “Mrs. Lynne, Gillian isn’t sick; she’s a dancer. Take her to a dance school.”
I said Gillian, “What happened?”
She said, “She did. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was. We walked in this room and it was full of people like me, people who couldn’t sit still. People who had to move to think.” Who had to move to think. They did ballet, they did tap, they did jazz, they did modern, they did contemporary. She was eventually auditioned for the Royal Ballet School, she became a soloist, she had a wonderful career at the Royal Ballet, she eventually graduated from the Royal Ballet School and founded her own company, the Gillian Lynne Dance Company, and met Andrew Lloyd Weber.
She’s been responsible for some of the most successful musical theater productions in history.
Somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down.
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Reading the above (and listening to the rest of his talk) somewhat … rebuked me.
You see, I’ve been feeling a little … clueless, and somewhat frustrated with my 2nd child when it comes to his school works.
He could copy numbers wrongly though they are right in front of his eyes.
He could somehow ‘miss out’ on answering some questions on his test papers (not because he doesn’t know the answers to them)
He knows his maths, but when he does his maths homework or tests, he could get up to 40% of them wrong (when asked to do them again, he’d get them right!). I feel it’s due to his lack of focus, and attention to detail.
He’d forget things, though they’re written on his school agenda.
He could forget about what he learned in class, though it just happened 2 hours ago.
Frankly, I often find it hard to understand.
I’m still trying to figure out what ‘guiding and teaching methods’ work best for him when it comes to his school works
I was told that this is ‘common’ with boys.
Even more common if the boy is an outgoing, happy-go-lucky type.
(anyone agrees with this?)
Well.
Even IF this is common with boys, it doesn’t mean I’m not struggling.
I mean, I’ll honestly say, I am struggling between knowing the theory of ‘every child is unique and has unique learning styles’ and actually applying it, patiently and lovingly.
At the moment, I’m still trying to figure out what ‘guiding and teaching methods’ work best for him when it comes to his school works, remembering his responsibilities, etc.
And, I’m still learning to ‘whole-heartedly accept’ the fact (and feel fine about it) that every child’s learning journey is a looooooong one.
*telling myself* Sow the seeds today, and we may only get to see the fruits later, like … more than 10-15 years later!
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Having said all that, don’t get me wrong, … I love this little man!
And, I do see how he has many plus points that his siblings don’t have.
But again, as shared above, KNOWING all that doesn’t mean it is easy for me to deal with his ‘different’ learning style.
Ah well.
I guess I’m just seeing my own weaknesses as a Mom.
I have so much to learn. And introspect. And change.
And I genuinely want to encourage him and bring out the best in him. I just need to continually explore and challenge myself to persevere throughout the journey.
Sow the seeds today, and we may only get to see the fruits later, like … more than 10-15 years later!
Note to self:
Must learn to be a more understanding mom, to be better in guiding and finding a way to better teach and inspire him.
Must. Be. More. Patient. Too.
May God help me, and all of us, to be better parents to our children whom He has entrusted into our hands.
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PS: Levi, if you’re reading this years from today, know that Mommy loves you very, very much. I struggle to become better in parenting you, just as I hope you always struggle too, to be better in whatever you do. You have a good heart. You’re blessed. I pray that you continually explore your God-given talents and strengths, and be a blessing to others. Love you!
