Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

‘Raise a Genius!’

‘Are Your Kids Smart Enough?’

’10 Tips on How to Raise Smart Kids!’

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Ever heard or seen similar taglines somewhere?

If you have followed my blog long enough, you’ll notice that I don’t write about such topics.

My reasons?

Because to me, in reality there are so many other aspects in a child’s life that should be developed, nurtured, valued and appreciated, other than one’s intellectuality alone.

I mean, what if a child’s school grades are just ‘average’ (despite having given his best), but he has a genuine compassion for nature conservation and awesome social skills?

Or, what if a child, who studies hard, is somehow ‘stuck’ at getting an average of 70% in her Maths, Science and English tests, but this same child draws and paints beautiful art pieces?

Would the parents, the school and the society still value and accept the child?

I sincerely hope so.

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Now. Don’t get me wrong though.

I’m NOT saying that parents therefore should NOT nurture their children’s intellectuality.

What I am saying is, as parents we should try to find a better balance when nurturing, guiding and encouraging our children’s growth and development: physically, intellectually, emotionally, linguistically, socially, culturally, morally, spiritually, etc.

A ‘holistic brain development’, experts say.

…

Anyway.

In this post, I’d like to share some activity ideas with you in relation to what I’ve shared above.

ie. Things that we did in the past and things that we still do today in order to encourage/stimulate a more all-rounded growth and development in our children.

(Btw, these activity ideas are more for children between the age of 2 to 5. Our kids are now aged 12, 9 and 4 =)

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>> INTELLECTUAL (How our kids process information)

Activity ideas:

– Play with colourful alphabets

Use colourful alphabet fridge magnets and let the kids learn to recognise it through play, eg. Sort similar colours together, point to the right alphabet when asked.

(I find this activity helpful when I need to be in the kitchen and the toddler needs to be kept occupied. The child is kept physically away from the stoves, yet he can still see Mommy =)

– Count and count

Whenever we can, count and say the numbers together with the kids.
eg. How many toes / fingers / ears do we have, how many apples are we placing into our grocery basket, etc

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>> MOTOR : GROSS MOTOR & FINE MOTOR (How our child moves, walks, climbs, draws, etc)

Gross motor skills involve coordination of the child’s arms, legs, and other ‘large body parts’ (muscles) and movements.

Activity ideas:
– Allow children plenty of opportunities to run, crawl, hop, climb, learn to put own clothes, catch a ball, play sports, etc.

Fine motor skills are involved in smaller movements that use the child’s hands, fingers, wrists, feet and toes.

Activity ideas:
– Draw, scribble and paint (eg. Using coloured pencils, crayons, watercolour, cotton swabs, etc)
– Place marbles into plastic bottles
– Cut a piece of paper (using children-friendly scissors, of course)

TIPS:

We’ll be tempted to overly comment and nag our children when they don’t paint or write the way WE thought they should.

Eg. We want our son to draw colourful circles, but instead, the child gets more interested in drawing blue lines everywhere on paper.

When that happens, I remind myself to not comment much and just let the child draw and create =) It’ll do more good to the child.

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>> COMMUNICATION (How our child expresses herself)

Today, there is less and less opportunities for children to interact and verbally communicate with one another, because they’re more engaged with flat screens in their hands.

It’s an unfortunate reality.

I hope everyone who reads this post is encouraged though, to introduce more ‘real interactions with real people’, especially between parents and their children.

Activity ideas:
– Let them talk and tell us stories (even when we don’t quite understand what they’re trying to say at the time)
– Listen (it sounds simple, but it’s tough to do when we are itching to check what’s happening on social media)
– Read books together
– Encourage them to always say ‘Hello’, ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’ to other people
– Talk to them, tell stories (even when they don’t seem to respond
– Ask questions, wait for them to answer and say the right answer if the child is not yet able to respond with full sentences

For example:

Mom: Oh look! Can you see the small cat near that blue car? What colour is that cat?

Child: *points to the cat* Cat. Cat. Blue car.

Mom: Yes, that’s right. That’s a black cat near the blue car.

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>> EMOTIONAL (How she shares his toys, imitates, expresses emotions)

Children between the age of 2 to 5 go through emotional ups and downs almost everyday. They could be laughing hysterically one minute, and throwing tantrums a minute later.

I believe, instead of denying their emotional outbursts by saying, ‘You must not be angry!’ or ‘You’ll be fine! Forget about it. Stop crying!’, we parents need to let our children learn to understand the different kind of feelings they may be having and learn how to handle them.

Activity ideas:
– Allow opportunities to interact with adults and children (eg. At birthday parties, play dates, playground, etc).

Because the more practice he has in various social settings, the more chance of his learning about different expectations at different places by different people

– Help children understand and identify different kinds of feelings (and how they should learn to handle them) through reading books together and talking about them, or watching age-appropriate programmes together and discussing the scenarios and characters.

For example:

Mom: *while reading a book with her 4yo son* The boy in story starts to cry when his friend wants to borrow his toys because he doesn’t want to share them with his friend. His friend is sad.

When we have friends coming to our place, should we share our toys with our friends? *Pause and let child think for a while* Yes, we should always share our toys with others. They’re happy when they can come and play at our home. You know, Danny is coming over to play with you this afternoon. If he wants to play with some of your toy cars, you share some of your toys with him ya? *smile and hug the child*

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Okay, I think I’ll stop here =)

There is actually so much more that I’d love to share about how we parents can encourage our children to grow and develop different aspects of their lives.

I guess, I’ll write about it some other time =)

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To end the post, I’d just like to say, we parents naturally want the best for our children.

And to me, out of all the ‘best’ things’ that we’ll give to our children, what we should always remember to give is ourselves, our time for them and acceptance of them.

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Moms,

There is this #MomenCerdasnya contest right now that’s worth checking out!

You’d only need to share a photo and a short story of how your child learns and grows (open for parents of children between the age of 1 to 6)

There are 7 ‘themes’ available for you:

1. Reading a book
2. Riding a bike
3. Drawing and colouring
4. Self-feeding
5. My birthday
6. Playing musical instruments
7. Drinking from a glass

TWELVE shopping vouchers are up for grabs too!

Deadline: 30 April 2016

For details, go to : http://bit.ly/MomenCerdasnyaLA

Don’t miss out!

Go and join in the contest!

Here’s wishing you all the best! =)

The littlest in the family will turn FIVE in two months!

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Before I forget what she’s like ‘right now’, here are a few updates =)

> She likes to make up her own songs and tune =)

> She likes to dance around.

> She likes to play dress up and sometimes, she’d pretend like she’s putting on some make-up.

> She speaks fluent Indonesian (and I speak to her in English every now and then, so she learns the language too)

> She knows what she wants and often, she has ‘tricks’ up her sleeves to get to what she wants.

> She likes to scribble and write, and she’d then ask us to ‘read’ what she’s written (which could be something like, ‘KMSUWAIHYO’ =)

> She is one who can come up to us and give us a kiss and a hug, out of the blue. Sometimes she’d say, ‘This is to give you more energy, Mommy!’ and give me a super big kiss on the cheek =)

> She’s learning to read simple three-letter English words (I’d read her English books and get her to figure out how to say words like: ‘in’, ‘on’, ‘is’, ‘bat’, etc.

> She can do additions like, ‘What is 21 plus 8?’ or ‘what is 14 plus 9?’

> She is not too fond of animals. She can see cute little animals and tell me how it’s soooo cute, but she usually won’t immediately pat or hold the animals.

> She’s scared of my dad’s puppies, haha (Welsh Corgi named ‘J.Co.’ and a Rottweiler named ‘Weiler’ =)

[Brie and my Dad]

> Lately, she likes to talk and talk and talk. Seriously, she’d just talk about anything at home or in the car. Frankly, it made me wonder, was I like this when I was her age? Haha.

> She has good memories. She remembers details of things that happen in the past, of places that she’s been to.

> She can shower, dry herself up, brush her teeth, pick her own clothes (home clothes or going out clothes), put them on, put on her socks and shoes, with no problems. If we’re going out, she’d usually check with me first, ‘Where are we going?’ and ‘Can I wear this and this?’ =)

[Learning to conquer her fears and enjoying her trampoline time!]
 

> When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, right now her answer is, ‘A Baby Doctor’ =)

> She sometimes finds it hard to apologise to others.

> There are days when her rate of cries and whines are above average.

> She doesn’t regularly nap in the afternoon.

>She’s in Kindergarten 1. It starts at 7.30am and finishes at 12pm.

> On school days, she’d wake around 5.45am, get ready and leave home at around 6.30am. We always drop her older siblings off to school first before we send her to school.

> She doesn’t play games on iPads/computer/laptops. Once in a while she’d watch a home video of our family or of herself when she’s little on my phone.

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A little note to Brie:

Brie,
You’re growing up real fast!

We have no idea what you’ll be like when you’re big, but we put our trust in God who sure has wonderful plans for you and your life.

Brie,
Mommy often says how we all love you very much, and that’s why we don’t always say ‘Yes’ to what you want, and that’s because your wants may not be good for you. We love you and we will give what’s best for you. We hope you learn to trust our decisions for you.

And, don’t forget, loving you means we also will remind/rebuke/scold/discipline you if you say/do/think/feel the way you shouldn’t. It’s part and parcel of growing up and learning to change towards the better. Mommy and Daddy go through it, so do your sister and brother.

Brie,
Our prayer is for you to love your family and to always be thankful to God for what He’s given to you, to always explore your talents and potentials and to be a blessing to others, so others can see the beauty of Christ in you.

We love you very much.

So we are officially parents of a TWELVE year old girl now!

The little girl who came into our lives back in 2004, the one who first turned us into ‘parents’, is now this young lady, who’ll probably be taller than me real soon =)

Anyway.

I’m glad I’ve chosen to be in her life since day one by not working fulltime outside the home.

Because knowing her temperament and characters, I can only imagine how extremely difficult things would have been ‘now’, had she not see my effort (and failure) and sacrifice for the family since she’s little.

If she could ask me about anything today and trust that I have her best interest at heart, I feel it’s totally because we both have built that relationship over the many years of being together.

And it hasn’t been easy.

Well, as we all know, nothing is instant.

Nothing is built over night when it comes to relationships, trust and respect.

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A little note to Anya:

Anya,
I hope you have a wonderful 12 years of life with us as your family.

You know I sometimes share with you how I have noooo idea how you’ll be when you’re a teenager. But I hope you continually learn the art of discernment as you grow up.

Because you’ll face lots of choices, and they won’t be easy to make.

The world will tell you that you should live your life the way YOU want, to not love the body you have, to listen to what other people and the media say about you and about many things in life, and to not worry about the life choices you make, as long as you’re happy. 

Our prayer is, for God to give you the power and wisdom to discern and choose. To stay in the faith.

What is good and what is not, what is inspiring and what is destructive, what is right and what is wrong.

We also pray that you keep discovering and developing your potentials and talents.

To discover who you truly are as a child of God, and what your true calling is in your life.

You are in God’s good hands, and HE has wonderful plans for you.

We’re thankful to God for giving you in our lives.

We love you.

The first time I ever heard about ‘Kiddle.co’, was when I received quite a few Whatsapp messages saying something like this:

Now Mr. Google has a kid called ‘www.kiddle.co’ – search engine specifically for kids! So kids now can browse safely, without spams nor adult contents. Make this your homepage if you have a child who likes to browse. Good one Google!

..

Great news for families?

Umm, not quite.

Unfortunately the above ‘broadcast’ has 3 questionable (read: wrong) ‘facts’.
 
1. Search Engine for kids BY GOOGLE?

Kiddle.co is in fact NOT associated with Google. It uses Google safe search technology to ‘filter’ contents, but it is NOT run by Google.
 
2. Kids can now browse safely without coming across adult contents?
 
Umm. Wrong.

The fact is, yes it is ‘SAFER’ search engine for kids compared to using Google.

You can check it out yourself when you go to kiddle.co and click their ‘Kids Safe Search’ link at the very bottom of the page.

This is what it says on the page.

So what’s my say on this?
 
– Yes, Kiddle.co is a safer search engine, but it is not 100% safe for kids. Actually to me, it’s not even 60% safe for kids.
 
– Browsing the internet should still be done for the child (eg. When the child is doing school projects and researches need to be done). Once parents have found the articles needed for the projects, then the child can refer to the page and do his/her work.
 
– Limit our children’s exposure to the internet (from their smartphones, iPads, computers, etc).
 
– Avoid letting children browse the internet on their own. Worse, in places where we can’t see what they’re browsing.
 
– The internet world has unimaginable amount of junk that is totally capable of corrupting the minds and hearts of young children. It can never be 100% filtered.
 
– Parents should really be aware of the LIE:
The internet world is harmless because it doesn’t harm the child ‘physically’.
 
It’s a terrible lie because, what our children see and hear are so capable of destructing and corrupting their minds and hearts. And we all know how what we have seen and heard (especially bad ones) is well recorded, ie. Can’t be erased from our mind.
 
– Parents should really put in the effort to be loving parents for their kids, and not be the kids’ police.
 
…
 
Let us build relationships since day 1 that are based on open communication, love, trust and respect.

Let us share with them the dangers of the virtual world with a genuine concern for our children’s well being. Based on our love for them, not based on distrust nor disrespect.

It’s not easy and it sure needs lots of our time, energy, repetition, and self denial.

I admit, I occasionally feel drained and exhausted, mentally and emotionally, as I teach, train, instill values, and educate my kids everyday.

Parenting IS hard.

But, I must say, the hard work is worth it.

May God have mercy on us, protect our children from harm (physically, emotionally and virtually) and give us the strength and wisdom to be the kind of parents HE wants us to be.
 

“Oh, we cover his eyes during scary scenes”
– Mother of 5yo boy, who went to the 9pm show of ‘The Revenant’ with her husband and 5yo child. The Revenant is R-rated.

“I love James Bond movies, and our son loves his fancy gadgets and tricks”
– Father of 6yo boy, who went to watch ‘Spectre’ together at a cinema. The movie is rated PG-13.

“I sat next to 10yo boy who laughed while watching violent scenes!”
– Woman in her 50s, while watching the 9pm show of ‘Deadpool’. This is R-rated.

…

This will probably be an unpopular post because I’ll be direct and frank in writing out my thoughts and concerns.

I’ve been wanting to write about this, but never quite gotten down to it.

Here’s the question I hope all parents ask themselves:

What movies do MY kids watch?

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Movies have ratings, and one of the reasons for it is to inform the public of its content so that decisions can be made BEFORE watching it.

If it’s ‘R-Rated’, then it usually contains nudity, gore, vulgarity, drug use, strong language and/or violence.

If it is PG-13, then it means ‘Parents are strongly cautioned – some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.’

It’s quite obvious actually.

And, I can say for sure that parents today who are mentally capable of bringing their kids to the movies are 99% capable of checking the ratings and reading what the movies are all about BEFORE watching them.

(I give ‘1%’ for the possibility of parents who live in a village, who don’t know how to read nor search the internet, and who let their kids watch movies)

My deepest concern is when children are allowed to watch, or taken by their parents to watch movies that are obviously ‘too adult’ for their age

 
And so what’s my real concern here?

Well, my deepest concern is when children are allowed to watch, or taken by their parents to watch movies that are obviously ‘too adult’ for their age.

Check out these facts:

5 year-olds watching graphic violence and gore.

8 year-olds watching scenes of topless women at strip clubs.

10 year-olds watching adults committing extra-marital affairs and having s*x talks.

Sigh.

Seriously I wonder, do the above facts even ‘sound’ okay?

Or, does it become ‘okay’ because these young ones ‘cover their eyes’ during such scenes?

To me, of course no it’s never okay.

Actually, if you ask me, if a child ever has to cover his/her eyes during any scenes in a movie, then most likely that movie is not age-appropriate for the child, no?

…

So what am I saying?

I’m saying, no actually I’m pleading and urging fellow parents (and grandparents, aunties, uncles, and adults) to reflect upon these three points concerning their children:

>> Let’s be extra aware of the kinds of materials that our children are exposed to. Be it movies, books, comics, games, anything. Access can be from the cinema, TVs, internet, games on smartphones, etc.

For movies, please do check out the trailers ourselves first. Read reviews. With today’s technology, such info is accessible to all. Be in the know. For our children’s sake.

>> Let’s remember that whatever our children watch and hear, they’re ABSORBED and RECORDED for life in their hearts and minds.

To me, it’s like planting seeds. It will eventually grow and bear fruits. The question is, what kinds of seeds have we been planting in our children’s hearts and minds today? As the parents, aren’t we the ones accountable and responsible for our little ones whom we have been entrusted with?

>> Continually develop a genuine and close relationship with our children, based on trust, open communication, love and respect (and this needs to start from day 1, btw).

We should really try to be their loving parent, not their suspecting police officer.

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Parenting is extra hard today.

And none of us is perfect or capable.

But let us never find an excuse to not work extra hard for our children’s sake?

May God help us all.

And May God have mercy on our children and us adults.

How big is a Daddy’s role and involvement in his children’s lives?

The answer is: HUGE!

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Daddy may not be around as much as he would due to work commitments, but when he IS around his children, what he does and says, matters.

A lot.

– Does he physically cuddle and hug his children?

– Does he do what he preaches?

– Does he keep his promises?

Daddy may not be around as much as he would due to work commitments, but when he IS around his children, what he does and says, matters

– Does the words that he utter reflect love, positivity and respect towards others and self?

– Does he help out with house chores and other ‘family duties’?

– Does he show interest in his children’s lives? (Eg. Listens to their stories and the happenings in their lives, however ‘plain’ they may sound, or asks them about stuff OTHER THAN their school grades and homework)

– Does he show emotional stability?

– Does he love and respect his wife and talk to her lovingly?

– Does he pray and grow spiritually?

The list goes on and on.

…

…

Being a Dad today is hard.

So is being a Mom.

(None of us is super nor perfect. Far from it.)

And you know what, I feel it is even harder today to be a ‘husband and wife TEAM’ that continually builds on the love and respect for each other, while they struggle together in raising and educating their children to stand firm on what’s right, true and good, amidst the ‘strong currents’ in today’s world (that teach infidelity, greed, selfishness, cruelty and hatred are normal and okay).

Parenting is hard.

But it is not impossible.

Why not we encourage one another and strive to do the best that we can, for our family’s sake?

Food for thought.

May God have mercy on our family, and may God help us all.

Our 9.5yo Vai finds science fascinating.

He loves the different kinds of experiments done at his school’s science club (How fun and inspiring the teacher is, plays a great deal here, if you ask me =)

So anyway, the other day, we did this simple ‘magic trick’ together.

What we did:

1. We put one ‘shortened’ matchstick on a gluetag, just to make it stand firmly

2. Lean another matchstick onto it.

3. Light up the ‘body’ of the leaning matchstick.

That’s it!

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What happens after is this:

The tips of the matchsticks will magically stick together.

The ‘leaning’ matchstick will be lifted and the coin under it can then be moved without touching the matchstick!:)
(You see, this is the ‘magic’ part, ie. How do you remove the coin, without moving/touching the matchstick=)

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Why it happens:

Someone shared that this is because the ‘phosphorus tips’ of the matchsticks fuse together when burned (mmmm …. ‘combustion’ and ‘phosphorus fusion’?)

(Btw, anyone else can explain what has happened, in simple words, may be? 🙂

Anyway, we don’t have proper scientific explanation for this, but we believe such fun experiment leads to fascination, and we hope it continually drives the kids to want to discover and learn more and more 🙂

(They can learn what this is all about and explain to me later =)

AND oh, one last thing.

The fact that Vai failed so many times and yet tried and tried again without complaining (when putting the matchsticks together and when wanting to light up one of the matchstick) is to me, another valuable lesson on perseverance and not giving up too.

Here’s the video of the experiment.

Have fun!

[Source : Kompas.com]

Explosions took place this morning in Jakarta.

Followed by some shootings.

The city (and millions around the world) was shocked.

We watched the news updates on TV.

I received photos and so many ‘forwarded Whatsapp messages’ (many of which are hoax, btw! The cruel reality of using social media to intensify the situation and extend the impact of terrorism!)

My kids and I were more than 15km away from the explosion at the time.

So we were pretty much ‘safe’.

But.

Did I feel scared that morning?

Yes.

For some time, I felt worried and scared.

Scared because things seemed uncertain.

Will there be more bombs going off around the city? Would things get worse? Could my husband get back home safely? 

After some ‘self talk’ in my head, and after discovering how lies and incorrect news were going around the social media, … I felt better.

And.

I summarised my thoughts in these few sentences.

Suicide Bombing / terrorism does not require the bomber/shooter to be brave.

It’s a cowardice act by the carrier, and whoever is behind the idea.

Glass windows may break, but Indonesia will not and should never be shattered by such acts.

Our heartfelt prayers to those who’re affected, and who’re still out there guarding the city.

…

[Source: Kompas.com]

To close my post, I just want to say:

For some reason, I feel Indonesians are not so easily scared.

Because, we encounter ‘scary and crazy incidents’ daily here in this city! =)
(As you can see in the photo above, civilians chose to crowd around and WATCH and not flee from the scene =)

Anyway.

Instead of letting ourselves be filled with worries and hatred, let’s learn to see how fragile we all are and how we need to depend on something greater than ourselves?

As for me, my faith leads me to look upon the almighty and all-knowing God.

We may not know the reasons for many things that happen, but we know HE is just and HE is sovereign.

May God have mercy on those with evil intentions.

Here’s to a better Indonesia!