Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Watched ‘The Greatest Showman’, and LOVED it!

Loved the story, the values, the songs, the choreography, the dance, … okay, not so much on the ‘animal in a circus’ part though, IF it were in ‘real life circus’.

(And of course I love the acting talents. Hugh Jackman, especially =)

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Here are 12 thoughts I picked up from the movie, in no order of importance:

 
1. Do not belittle, bully someone just because we feel they are different from us (ie. Claiming the ‘rights’ to bully someone who’s regarded as ‘unacceptable’ by the society). Different race, skin colour, physical shape, social and economic background, etc. It will only bring destruction to everyone.
 
2. When the society/peers belittle, mock, look down upon us and our situation that we aren’t able to change (eg. Physical flaws), finding a positive community with a common positive purpose will help in overcoming the negatives and moving forward in developing talents one perhaps never explored
 
Connect with people from all walks of life3. Dare to dream big, beyond our current situation
 
4. Work hard towards your goal, connect with people from all walks of life, including those who seem to be above/beyond ‘our league’
 
Don’t strive to be accepted by ‘everyone’5. Don’t strive to be accepted by ‘everyone’
 
6. Everyone has something to offer, a talent. Often, we need to put in time and effort to develop it, make it shine and positively impacting others around.
 

 
7. Fame, applause by the society, and money will never fill the ‘hole in our heart’. Nothing will ever be enough to fill it.
 
8. ‘Money and family time’ often (not always) cannot go hand in hand.

Fame, applause by the society, and money will never fill the ‘hole in our heart’Those whose focus is on earning / chasing ‘money’ (though done ‘for the sake of the family’s welfare’) will tend to spend less and less time with the family.
 
9. Materials (big house, toys, etc) cannot replace the presence of both parents in a child’s life
 
10. When our children share their thoughts with us, however silly we think they are, smile and don’t belittle them (eg. Through our gestures or verbal comments)
 
Spouse must communicate and give reminders to the other half11. Spending too much time with someone (opposite sex) who’s not our spouse can potentially lead us to temptations, which potentially can break our marriage.
 
12. Spouse must communicate and give reminders to the other half, if he/she starts to lose focus on what’s important in life. Learn to accept, forgive and move forward with spouse when he/she makes mistakes along the way.
 
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Okay. I’ll stop at twelve (originally, I only wanted to write 7 points =)
 
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Tips for parents:

– There are kissing scenes, but to me, they’re okay ones because it’s unlike the usual ‘Hollywood-style lustful scenes’. They’re appropriately placed along the storyline =)
 
Important for parents to explain the values to the children– So important for parents to explain the values to the children before/after the movie, or when watching it again at home. Have a good discussion with them, too, on bullying and accepting others who are different from us, eg.
 
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Love the songs, the lyrics, the energy, the passion!
 

 

 
Enjoy the movie!

Watched ‘Split’ the movie where the main character ‘Kevin’ has … wait for it … 24 different personalities in him!

TWENTY FOUR.

He was abused by his mother and different personalities emerged over the years to cope with his surrounding, ever since he was a young boy.

His personalities include one where he is a clean freak, a young boy, a fashionista, some 21 others. Including, becoming a ‘beast’.

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In today’s online world, many in fact suffer from split personalities, tooHusband and I discussed this movie and we truly believe such split personality disorders exist. Not sure if one can have up to 24 personalities, though. But I’m sure there’s always someone out there, with a weird disorder, waiting to be diagnosed.

But anyway, as we chatted away, we sort of realised, … hey, in today’s online world, many in fact suffer from split personalities, too!

Think about it.

Today’s social media ‘encourages’ people in general to have online persona that’s often DIFFERENT from their ‘real’ life.

People freely use random names on their ‘extra’ accounts, state dates of birth that are not theirs, and even post other people’s photos, pretending to be THAT person.

Use another account to leave hateful comments on other accountsFor example,
In real life, John is quiet and timid. But online, he’s bubbly, fun and lively. John also has ‘extra’ secret accounts (well, perhaps just one or two extras) where he’d post ‘uglier’ photos of himself OR some other person whom he dislikes, and use another account to leave hateful comments on other accounts, usually those whom he dislikes.

See how many ‘personalities’ John already has online?

To me, this is a scary fact.

But it is just SO real today.

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Are we the same person online and offline?

Do we (unconsciously or consciously) do what John (fictional character) does?

Do we know what our children are like online?

Food for thought.

Someone asked our 6.5yo Brie about her recent Mount Lawu hike:

‘So did you enjoy it?’

And … Brie shook her head.

‘Oops!’, the man smiled and looked at Wilson. ☺️

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Well.

Naturally, we prefer conveniences, and AVOID hardshipsTo us, it is okay if our kids say they didn’t enjoy the hike.

We don’t make them say ‘I love camping!’

I mean, naturally, we prefer clean beds and proper toilets.
Instead of sleeping in some run-down hut and having to do our ‘business’ in the bush out in the open.

Naturally, we prefer relaxing spas and pampering massages.
Instead of walking uphill and stepping on rocks for 8-10 hours straight.

Naturally, we prefer Disneyland.
Instead of camping trips in the middle of nowhere.

Naturally, we prefer conveniences, and AVOID hardships.

Our kids simply come along with us, whether or not they ‘like’ itTo us, our kids simply come along with us, whether or not they ‘like’ it.

We don’t expect our children to love NOT being able to shower for 3 days, eat super simple food and drink from a well.

We however wish for our children these 5 things (among many others):

>>To learn how real life will not always be convenient, we will not always enjoy what we want, we will not always be ‘at the top of things’, BUT it is okay.

Real life will not always be convenient>> They discover for themselves how they apparently COULD survive the struggles and difficult courses! That they should never underestimate themselves and their ability to go BEYOND their comfort level.

>> If they ever have to go through inconveniences in life, we hope they’ve learned to ‘complain less’ and instead ‘struggle forward’, having had the experience of moving forward towards the peak of mountains, even when things get really tough and exhausting.
 

 
>> That there’s beauty after hardships and amidst struggles (seeing beautiful surrounding, esp. from higher grounds)

>> To see how others looked out for each other during the trip, including how others cared for their well-being, that they in turn learn to be self-less, too, and help others who are more in need.

 
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So, is it okay with us if our kids say they didn’t enjoy the hiking trip?

Yes, it is totally fine.

Because we believe that REGARDLESS of how they feel about the trip, the memories of the experience will somewhat ‘equip’ them (most probably at unexpected times) for life’s many ups and downs.

(But anyway, Levi LOVED the trip and soooo looking forward to our next hike! =)

Every marriage is potentially fragile.

‘Pray to God for providence, help and mercy on your marriage!‘, would be the common advice given by people of the faith.

I absolutely agree with the advice.

It is something that we MUST do if we dare to call ourselves Christians.

We ask, we plead, we beg for God’s help and mercy on our marriage, on our family.

Sadly, we live in such an era where extra-marital affairs are common, divorce rates are high, and lack of love amongst spouses and siblings are regarded as … normal.

Christian marriages too are under great pressure, every day.

So, praying and asking God for help is a MUST.

We must never lean on our own understanding, effort and strengthBecause we must never lean on our own understanding, effort and strength.

Having said that though.

To build and nurture our marriage ALSO require (huge and consistent!) efforts on our part.

(Husbands or wives who are involved in ministries, who pray diligently, who go to church regularly may very well be cold and ignorant husbands or wives who FAIL to realise the importance of connecting with the spouse, who fail to show appreciation and affection, etc)

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To me, there are many things that husbands and wives can do to nurture their relationship.

Here are the two points I’d like to share in this post:

1. Husbands and wives must work on their communication.

They must strive to stay connected though they have busy daily routines.

eg.
– During the day, share what you’re doing, what your day is like with your spouse, eg. Via Whatsapp
– REPLY your spouse’s message!
– Spend time chit-chatting and exchanging thoughts when kids are in bed
REPLY your spouse’s message– If there’s something about your spouse that bothers you, share about it with him/her at a time that’s good for both. Be prepared to listen and find a way out together.

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2. They must build on their romance, intimacy and affection.

eg.
– Hold hands and cuddle
– Appreciate your spouse verbally
Appreciate your spouse verbally– Spend time doing something together (like, watching a movie together at home when all kids are in bed). Enjoy each other’s presence.

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In short, husbands and wives must SPEND TIME together and build on their relationship.

Be it to pray together, go out as a couple, or simply sit on the sofa and just cuddle up and chat.

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Family and relationship crisis is ever increasing now.

Let’s pray and make the effort to nurture our relationship with our spouse. Every single day. Regardless of how long we’ve been married to each other.

May God help every one of us.

 
We are back from our Mount Lawu climbing adventure over at East Java!

3,265m above sea level.

LOADS of stories, life experiences and lessons, including some body aches! =)
 

 
Learning to push own limit, struggle through difficulties and inconveniences with family and friends.

Learning to keep going – though slowly – till destination is reached.

Learning from others who selflessly help others, observing God’s beautiful creation around us, … and many more.

Love the trip!!
 

 
I’ve shared our photos and stories on Facebook!

Click this LINK to view them!

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Looking forward to our next family adventure, where it’ll be! =)

How have we spent our 365 days?

To please man?
To bring profit to yourself?
To live for self?

If we do not live for our Creator, if we don’t live for the Truth, then why do we live at all?

If we suddenly die right now, what will you say to God?

How many mistakes have we committed this year? We must repent and make a change!

Always reflect and review ourselves: who am I? What have I done? What should I do?

Reflect upon the year 2017 and move forward into the new year with hope!

(Inspired by Rev. Stephen Tong’s sermon, 31 Dec 2017)

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So blessed by today’s message.

Will keep it in mind today, and in the new year!

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Here’s welcoming 2018, … as a family!☺️

We have been greatly blessed and we will learn to live every day in the year 2018 with gratefulness, joy and love.

Happy New Year, everyone! ❤️

Playing sports should never just be about ‘doing something sporty’.

It offers plenty of learning opportunities, err …  IF we parents allow our child to experience them.

Like,
– Pack own equipments and water bottles
The very basic requirements all kids need to do by himself. Not prepared by parents nor maids.

– Exercise self discipline when it comes to practice time
The child needs to learn and remember his own practice schedules instead of relying on us parents to tell him when he’s supposed to go and have his practice session.

– On competition day, he’s to go and register his name by himself. If there are questions to ask (eg. What is the order of play, etc), then he’s to ask the questions himself.
 

 
– Struggle and fight on the court on his own, but at the same time know that whatever is the outcome, his family is there to support him
When he’s on the court, although his family watches the game too, he’s on his own. He has to think of his own strategies, battle his own nervousness and fear, etc.

If he loses the game, be a good sport, and thank the opponent for a good game– Appreciate winning opponents
If he loses the game, be a good sport, and thank the opponent for a good game, shake hands, etc.

– Be humble, yet do own best.
Never think of self as better and higher than others, which could lead to snobbish attitudes on and off court. But when on the court, do your best and play to win every single point.
 
– Make friends with EVERYONE
Especially on competition day, you get to meet others from different backgrounds, who come from different towns and cities. This is a great opportunity for the child to make new friends, especially when he often has to wait quite a while before it’s his turn to play. Go and have practice sessions with them, chat during lunch time, etc.

 
Sisters.

One of God’s ways of teaching us the importance of love, care, and loads of forgiveness.

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Would love to recreate these shots every 5 years! ☺️