Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

This week’s Words of Wisdom:

“Controlling your temper is better than being a hero who captures a city.”
Proverbs 16:32

A little something to think about carefully and exercise daily. Especially if you’re a parent, I think. Instead of handling and disciplining the kids with self-control, a cool-head, authority and of course, love, it’s often easier for us parents to lose our temper when faced with tough daily challenges.

Last month, I quoted some lines from a book, here’re a few more good ones:

If a child lives with …
… criticism, she learns to condemn.
… hostility, she learns to fight.
… fear, she learns to be apprehensive.
… ridicule, she learns to be shy.

Anya refused to have her breakfast this morning. And after about 15 minutes of screaming and crying in her bedroom, alone, I let her have it her way.

No breakfast for me. As she wished.

And (as I expected), one hour later she went up to me and said, ‘Mum-mum … mum-mum’ (Indo for ‘eat’) and asked me to get her seated on her high chair. Hehe.

Anya’s been acting all weird and cranky lately. And I suspect it’s got something to do with her MMR vaccination 2 weeks ago.

After she had the jab, we were told that within 7-10 days after the shot, there may be some side effects like fever, loss of appetite, crankiness and stuff.

Then since last week, exactly 7 days after the shot, Anya had a bit of fever. It went on for 3 days, and only in the early evenings.

On day 7, she vomitted about 10 times.

On day 8, she didn’t vomit as much but she’s really not interested in her meals. We then noticed that she had two BIG ulcers in her mouth! No wonder she cried so often.

On day 9, she cried and screamed in the wee hours. She’s really cranky throughout the day. Whined and easily annoyed at little things. Both her eyes were swollen from too much crying.

I asked around to find out how my friends’ kids reacted to the vaccine. Well, some said they’ve postponed the shot till their kids are older (The Ministry of Health sent them letters though, to remind them that their kids’ MMR vaccination is due. Haha. The Singapore government is sure doing a great job at checking and monitoring the population!).

And some told me how their kids had no reactions whatsoever after they had their MMR vaccine.

Now, it’s been 12 days since her shot. Her mouth ulcers are better. Her appetite returns. Her fever’s gone. BUT, she’s still cranky and moody! Well, Anya’s not always cranky, but s on average, she’s 70% more cranky than usual.

I actually thought that perhaps her Terrible Two comes early.

Anya screamed, shouted, cried, whined and grumbled about things that she usually is alright with. And it’s just strange! At times, she’d scream when I’m about to put on her diapers. She’d cry and whine about having her bottoms washed. She’d enthusiastically start eating her favourite breakfast and 2 minutes later she’d refuse to have her meals. Pfft. I’m sure all my surrounding neighbours can really hear her.

Yes, I do notice how she wants to exercise her will power nowadays. Even more so than before. She’d want something to be done her way and if she doesn’t get it, she’s scream, ‘No! No! No!’ and cry out loud.

And how do I handle all this?

Haha … I’m actually quite okay (so far!).

When Anya starts screaming over something, I’ll put her in my bedroom. If she chooses to continue her screaming, there’ll be zero audience because I simply get back to the kitchen and finish off my dish-washing. I’d return to the bedroom after one minute. Usually, she’d slowly stop crying upon seeing me. Works 95% of the time so far (and lets hope it continues to work)

Right now I’m not psychologically drained. Not yet anyway. My ears need quite a rest though.

…

If you ask me,  there’s one reason why I’m still okay so far though faced with Anya’s behaviour:

In my mind, I know Anya’s growing. Emotionally. Towards independence. And all kids will go through this phase sooner or later. And so I thought to myself, if I get depressed, cranky and lose my cool over all this, I won’t be able to survive at all.

And I DO want to survive. It’s just a challenge all parents must face.

I only hope it’ll get better soon.

We met up with a few friends and ended up having lunch at Raffles Place area, the so-called Central Business District of Singapore.

And so there I was at 2pm, under the glaring sunlight, in my jeans and sneakers, pushing my pram, walking past people in their business suits and smart working attire.

And I thought to myself, am I glad I don’t need to rush back to my office desk and report to my boss right after lunchtime!

*smile*

Another busy day, packed with one project after another.

We attended two weddings!

Hearing the wedding vows and watching the couple hugs their parents after they’re announced as husband and wife also make me feel all warm inside.

The night was also filled with great friends and great food! I really enjoyed myself! And come to think of it, it’s been a while since I got all dressed up too, hehe. It was fun!

Anyway, I’m glad that Anya wasn’t cranky at all. She played with our friends and chose to stay awake right till the end of the dinner. She fell asleep in my arms on our way home. And that was at 11.30pm. What a day.