Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

The other day I saw a friend’s book on toddlers’ play. Stuff on how to creatively play with your toddler. How to use simple things we have around the house as our kids’ play-things.

One of the ideas: wrap a few large boxes with colourful wrapping paper and turn them into ‘houses’ for the kid. That sounds great I thought. But I’m not too sure about the wrapping idea though. What if the kid gets excited about the house idea for 2 days and I have to throw the whole thing away. Kinda wasted, huh?

And so after I was done with my unpacking, I thought I’ll give this ‘house’ idea a try. Without the wrapping stuff though. I toppled the box and said, ‘Whooaaa, look, Anya! A house!’

And beyond my expectation, Anya’s SO happy with her little house! She crawls into it when she wakes up in the morning. In the afternoon, right after lunch. And just before dinner too. Haha.

It’s amazing how such a simple box can turn into an exciting hiding place to a 22-month kid! And it’s been her little corner. For the past 6 days now!

And the wobbly old box is somehow blending in with our other living room furniture now!

As usual, Singapore celebrates Christmas with a BANG!

Festive decorations. Christmas trees. Fun-filled games and events. And of course, giant discounts on basically EVERYTHING.

Tourists flood the main streets of Orchard Road. And you can always almost find something happening along the roadside. Choir perfomances. Tribal dances. Jugglers. Stalls selling christmas toys and stuff.

Although Christmas itself is VERY commercialised here, I am somehow still glad that the true message of Christmas is still made known to all. That it’s about baby Jesus who’s born on that day. A very special baby. The King of kings who came and died (and rose again!) to bear the punishment of sins that we all actually deserve, so that if we believe in Him we can be saved.

Sure hope the true message of Christmas is caught by all, even by those who busily go about doing their last minute christmas shopping.

PS: And oh btw … this photo’s taken against Thai Express’ wall picture (the one at Paragon’s basement). Wanted to go there for dinner but the queue was just TOO long. And so we went somewhere else.

Someone once said, ‘A spoiled son makes a terrible husband.’

And I agree. Totally.

Many parents unconsciously ‘train’ their children to become ‘spoiled ones’ by doing everything for the kids, giving in to all their requests and wants and failing to rebuke their misbehaviours.

One way of introducing a sense of responsibility to kids, I think, is by getting them involved in our day to day chores and tasks.

Anya and I do quite a few stuff together. Housework, I mean.

She helps me carry the laundry. She tidies up her own bed every morning. She puts clean socks into our wardrobe. (And btw, if I have a son, I’d still involve him in the things that I do).

Actually, when she ‘helps’, it often (though not always) means ‘double work’ for me, because she probably makes ‘more mess’ compared to if I do it all by myself. But I don’t mind. It’s something that we do together and we both enjoy it. We talk while we do stuff. I describe to her what I’m exactly doing and she gets to communicate and learn new words too.

And today, she gets to mix my ‘chicken marinade’. Hehe. And she loves it!

Yes, I can see how true it is when they say kids LOVE to be involved. To contribute and to be appreciated.

And it’s amazing how simple stuff that we do everyday can actually bond you and your kid even more.

Someone once said this about children:

You can’t imagine what life’s be like until you have them.
And once you have them, you can’t imagine life without them.

Here’s a little update on Anya:

Her red spots are slightly better. Our family doctor gave us some cream for Anya’s insect bites. And since we’re there already, Anya got the immunisation jab too! It wasn’t a pleasant experience for her, but at least her immunisation schedule is up to date and the next one is due when she’s about 3 years old!

While Anya cosily napped in her pram this afternoon, I enjoyed my Saturday newspaper, with a glass of ‘Teh-Peng’ (Tea + Ice + Sugar + LOTS of milk) at one of my favorite eating corners near Bugis called ‘Yu Kee’.

Oh I tell you … their Teh-Peng is NICE! Rather heavy on the milk and I guess it’s a tinge too sweet for many. But I love it! Hehe. And oh, the Katong Laksa there is also VERY yummy!!

Anyway, today I read about Lee Kuan Yew and his advice to young politicians. He said, ‘Don’t promise something that you can’t deliver.’

And I agree.

That’s something that we all should live by too. And if you’re a parent, it’s even more applicable.

People often are tempted to throw ’empty promises’ to children, just to get them to behave, finish up their meals quickly, go to bed, etc.

Stuff like: ‘Quick, finish your meal, and I’ll buy you a new toy later at the supermarket.’ Or worse, ‘Stop crying! Or the police will come and take you away!’

Because young kids are naive and innocent, they’d practically believe EVERYTHING that we adults tell them. And so, when they eventually learn that what’s being promised is not delivered, they slowly grow and become people who tend to be sceptical about everything. Unable to trust others.

Personally, I consciously remind myself to NOT ever say anything to kids (or anyone in that matter) that’s not true. As a parent to a toddler, I know my role. To Anya, I’m her source of information and truth. What I say matters to her. My reaction to everything is always observed and recorded in her mind. And so, how could I not learn to always be responsible and careful about what I say, do and think?

Having a kid definitely helps shape your character and mind.

When people first get to know us, and see how we already have a kid, one of the first questions they’d generally ask is, ‘And so do you have a maid to help you?’ And when we say no, they’d then sometimes ask, ‘Are your parents here with you?’ To which we again say … hmmm, no.

I’m not too surprised when people ask us such questions because it is quite common to have a maid in Singapore (though not as common as having one or more maids in Indonesia!), especially when you already have a kid.

Personally, I don’t really like the idea of having a maid living with us anyway. I just feel there’ll be less privacy for our family. I don’t mind having a part-time maid though who comes and helps us out with the housework for a few hours every week or so. In fact now we do have one coming every 2 weeks for 3 hours. She does ALL the ironing too! Yay!

Someone once told me that people usually don’t hire maids because they don’t have enough money to pay for one. If they had the money, they would’ve hired one.

But then after I think about it, for our case, it’s not about the money. I mean, I could’ve gone back to my fulltime job, have more money, and therefore hire a fulltime maid to help and look after Anya and at the same time, clean up the house, cook, etc. But neh, how can I let anyone take on my privilege of looking after Anya? AND, it’s much better to have our home just to ourselves anyway *wink wink*

Oh, and also, to those who think that they can never survive without a maid after they have kids … I’d like to say, ‘You CAN survive!’ Look, I’ve done it so far and lots of my other friends have done it too.

Yes, it’s not easy but it’s not as bad as you think too.

School holiday starts tomorrow and today’s Sunday Times has, errr … rather interesting articles on kids.

They talk about how kids during the holiday will start ‘invading’ shopping malls, cineplexes, restaurants, supermarkets. They’ll run around, play on public floors, make a scene. In short, the articles talk about kids being out of control and their usually unacceptable behaviours in public places.

And the words used to describe this kids related experience? Brat Pack, Little shop of Horrors, Terror attacks, etc.

Now, before I say anything, here’s an extract from one of the articles:

Parents do not spend enough time with their children and the maids cannot take the role of a disciplinarian because they are hired help …

After a hard day’s work, the last thing parents want to do is to fight with their kids. Basic boundaries are not set, so their children learn to do whatever they like.

Also because many parents spend less time with their child, they cannot read his body languange to know when he is about to snap out of control.

It’s actually sad to see how kids are being depicted in such a widely read newspaper like the Sunday Times. And the worse thing about it all, I feel parts of the articles are actually true!

Many parents say that they both need to work fulltime because the cost of living here in Singapore is high. And so they hire a maid to look after the baby. The parents then work day and night and by the time they get home, there’s usually so little time (and energy) left to even interact with the kid. And I’m not even talking about spending time to get to know your own kid, her progress and development, etc.

And so the kid grows up, learning from the TV programmes the maid watches or the many tuitions and enrichment classes the parents send her to.

Observing the increasing trend in today’s society (husbands and wives not being able to spend enough time with their kids), I feel sad knowing that the majority of these kids will eventually grow up, craving for their parents’ love, attention and time.

They may be fed with highly nutritious food, sent to the best schools and classes, play the latest games in the market and wear the trendiest clothes. But when they come home, who do they come to? The TV? The maid? Who can they talk to when they have questions? Who will teach them what’s right and what’s good?

Yes there’s a lot to parenting. But I have to say though that it’s not all about having enough money.

Singapore always welcomes the Christmas season with nice decorations everywhere. Well of course, it’s the time of the year when lots of tourists come and visit simply because they want to take part in the whole Christmas celebration (read: shopping) here.

As I walked down Scotts Road today, I noticed the decor on the ceilings. The slogan says,

‘It’s all about ME this season’.

Well, is it? Is that what Christmas is all about? Shopping, gifts, self-indulgence and more of me me and me?

Christmas and all its commercialism has unfortunately gone far from its true meaning. I do still hope though that one day Singapore and the whole world can celebrate, be thankful and remember why it’s called CHRISTmas in the first place.