Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

I guess it’s part of the ‘ups and downs’ of pregnancy. I mean, nowadays I sometimes feel all active and ready to go out. And at times, I just want to be in bed. Not much interest nor energy to do anything.

And with a toddler around, it’s just NOT possible to nap, however tired you may feel (unless she’s napping too, of course).

And so, lately Anya and I engage in more relaxed activities. Like reading lots and lots of books together while I lay in bed. Or doing some doodling WHILE I LAY IN BED. Hehe. We could spend a whole 2 hours just the two of us in bed.

Sometimes Anya gets to be the storyteller. And sometimes, the artist! Like this afternoon when we both relaxed in bed :

‘What are you drawing there, Anya?’

‘Fish’

‘Oh wow … that’s nice!’

‘And here’s the tail, Mommy’

Hey, the drawings were pretty good I think, for a nearly-two-year-old-toddler’s standard, I mean. Hehe.

I’ve been going out with Anya, just the two of us (read: with no pram) more frequently these past few days.

We walk a lot and get on the public transports (buses & trains) most of the time too! Which to me is quite amazing, considering that I usually prefer to rest at home these past couple of months. Aaah, I guess it means that the 1st-trimester-symptoms, usually associated in the first 3 months of being pregnant, is slowly going away. Woohoo!

I’m now into my 13th week of pregnancy and I can now survive without my afternoon nap (most of the time). I can cook again (and eat it!). I don’t gag as much (unless I’m brushing my teeth!). And somehow the excessive saliva is kinda … gone too! It’s just GREAT!

I am really grateful that my first 13 weeks has been relatively tolerable. I know a few friends who really have to rest in bed in their first few months because they are either so very tired or because they experience spotting.

People say once the 1st trimester is over, things should be better overall. The possibility of a miscarriage also lessens by a lot.

But the thing is … to me, if the baby and I are doing well to this very day, it’s purely because of God’s blessing. I know anything could happen between now and the day the baby’s due to be born. There are so many external factors that could happen to us or to the baby. Like, a friend’s baby who had a lung problem and died only within 10 days of birth. It’s really really tragic and sad, but it did happen.

As a Mommy, there’s a limit to how much I can ‘watch over’ my kids. There are so many external factors that could happen to us and our kids that are basically … beyond our control.

And I’m just really grateful to God who has been watching over my family, my kids … until this very moment. And I know, whatever happens in our lives, is NEVER beyond HIS control and care.

It’s been more than 3 weeks now and there were ‘good’ and ‘not so good’ days (obviosly!)

Good days are when she tells me when she needs to go to the loo. When she sits on our toilet and quietly ‘reads’ MY book (on What to Expect: Toddler Years!).

But today was one of my worst. A day when my patience was running really thin and I really felt like giving up. Sigh. Let’s just say that it was like as if she never knew or heard the word potty or toilet before. For the whole day she just did there and then.

I then asked a good friend of mine about her experience with her kid (she’s happily graduated from this phase of toddlerhood!) and she said it’s a normal part of toilet training.

Her advice:
Try not to count the number of accidents your kid did that day, so you won’t get too stressed (Ha! Easier said than done of course, considering I’m the one who had to continually wipe the floor). One fine day, she said, your kid will just start doing it in the toilet.

Sigh.

Can’t wait for that happy day to come.

It’s always interesting to see how some people teach little kids.

This morning Anya and I sat at the back of a taxi, and when the taxi stopped a traffic light, Anya stood up to take a look at the huge bus next to us. Then the middle-aged taxi driver turned, looked at Anya and said:

“Careful ah, little girl … this thing is hard, you know (pointing to his chair and the rest of his taxi). If you stand, you’ll fall. Then you get blood. Don’t want blood, right? If you have blood then you’re not pretty anymore. Must sit down. Be a good girl. Then, no blood. You stand up, you get blood, ok? Blood. Blood everywhere.’

Basically that’s how he talked throughout his one-minute lecture, while Anya looked at the man as he spoke to her.

Luckily he spoke in English, so I could translate what he said differently in Indonesian.

Basically I told her, ‘He said, you must be careful, because if you stand while you’re in a taxi, you can fall and it’ll hurt. When we’re in a taxi, we all need to sit down. Don’t stand because it’s dangerous.’

I think he said the word ‘blood’ more than 10 times. And it’s just interesting to see how some people feel the need to teach little kids by explaining stuff and associating it with blood and other scary consequences.

I guess with the kinds of TV programmes and violent contents we have nowadays, and the fact that some parents allow their little kids to watch them all, kids naturally become more used to the idea of blood and violence.  And if that really is what’s happening in the majority of households these day, then that’s a scary fact.

Wilson and I always try to be careful with the kinds of TV programmes Anya gets to see, the kinds of music she listens to, the kinds of words we use when we talk to her and when she’s around, because we know every little thing that little kids see, hear and watch, they all get absorbed in their minds. Unfiltered.

At such a young age, they’re not yet able to screen what’s good and bad, what should be followed and what shouldn’t, so it really is our responsibility as parents to screen for them and teach them what’s right.

And to be able to carry such a big responsibility, I know I always need to pray and ask for wisdom from above.
May God help us parents.

Okay it’s a bit sad to admit but I’ve been in Singapore for almost 7 years and I’ve only stepped into a library twice so far.

My latest visit was to the National Library in Woodlands last week. Two reasons why I went:
1. Because it has the largest little kids’ library and
2. Because Han’s mommy asked if Anya and I wanted to go together with them. Hehe.

Not that I hate libraries or anything. I just don’t really go to libraries.

During my school and uni days, I went only if I needed to get reference books. Or to use their photocopier machines. And I’m definitely not one of those people who can study for hours and hours there. The quiet library cubicles somehow managed to send me to sleep faster than watching a boring movie.

But of course, now that I have my own kid, I have better reasons for going to the library. AND so for the first time in my life, I became a member! Yay!

For Singapore Permanent Residents, you need to pay only $10.50 to be a member for life. You can then borrow up to 4 books for a period of 3 weeks! If you want to register your kid too, just pay another $10.50 and you can borrow 4 extra books! (ps. don’t forget to bring his/her birth certificate). Membership is free for Singaporeans.

And one excellent thing about National Libraries here in Singapore: the whole system is SO integrated. To return their books, just drop them off at ANY of their national libraries (and there are plenty to choose from).

And, oh … these are photos of Anya and Hans, just before we left. Hans was busy browsing while Anya kept her cool and looked on.

Kids these days.

Yes, our family is expanding soon. I am 11 weeks pregnant and Baby no. 2 is due sometime around early September. We’re so blessed!

Anya’s been mature and understanding about the whole baby news. When I told her about it, she pointed to my tummy and said “Baby. In mommy’s tummy. Anya … big sister.” Hehe. She’s so cute.

Some people asked if I am ready for another baby. Especially knowing that we do everything ourselves here in Singapore (read: no maid, no nanny).

But really, I do feel I’m ready, in a sense that I don’t want to have the baby next year or in a few years time. I’d like to have one this year if God entrusts one to our family, that is.

In a few years time, I’m not sure if I’ll have the stamina to look after a toddler AND a newborn baby. I prefer to get it over and done with. To get tired once and for all. To not have a huge age gap between the 1st child and the 2nd one. And right now, I think it’ll be just nice. By the time baby no. 2 comes, Anya will be 2.5 years old!

Now about the pregnancy.

This time round is a bit different compared to when I had Anya though. My so-called morning sickness (that actually lasted for the whole day!) came early. It started when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. I felt bloated (even right now) and I couldn’t eat much at all (though it’s better now!). Strong smells make me gag, too. Good thing I don’t actually vomit.

Yes, they say every pregnancy is different. I’m just glad mine hasn’t been so bad so far. Anyway, I plan to do up another ‘Pregnancy days – Week by Week’ page again for baby no. 2.

Will let you know when the page is ready!

Today, Anya’s accidents got me down to my knees again. THREE times. Sigh. Not sure what went wrong. She was only 5 steps from her potty! And the thing is, it’s been alright these past few days, like only one or zero accident a day.

But then again, people do say potty training normally takes a FEW WEEKS. So I really shouldn’t complain since we’re only on day 16.

I guess I just wanted the whole process to be faster that I forgot how much Anya has actually improved and achieved over the past 2 weeks.

And this whole experience is a gentle reminder to me too, that mommies need to remember to learn and be patient too.