Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Vai’s been wearing quite a few of Anya’s old clothes and this orange vest is one of them.

This photo of Anya was taken in 2005 and she’s wearing the exact same vest.

The thing is… Vai is now 7.5 month old. And Anya was nearly 1.5 years old in the photo!

Hm.

I guess baby boys do [in general] grow bigger faster than girls?

This is what generally happens during ALL his mealtimes nowadays.

Food goes in. Some comes out. Mom scoops it back in. Some falls on the table. Kid wipes it all over with both hands. Hands go into mouth and wipe face.

Spoon approaches mouth. Kid swats the spoon.

Spoon approaches mouth. Kid makes sudden moves with head and food lands on eyebrow.

Oh my.

[A rather shocking sight, I know. In the end he looks like he’s been splashed with mud or something!]

At least he doesn’t cry or complain much now. And he does finish his food in the end (30% of it goes everywhere else other than the mouth though!)

PS: Just in case you’re wondering about the green goop he’s eating. It’s spinach.

We bring our kids out and about since they’re very little (like, a few weeks old). And they’ve been carried by SO many different people too (who are obviously ‘strangers’ in the eyes of our little ones).

To us, we believe it’s important for our kids to spend lots of quality time with the people at home. For them to feel secure and loved.

But other than that, we feel little children needs to also go out and see other people of different races and looks. To be exposed to a whole different range of social experience.

And so anyway we went over to Nic’s place today … and Vai got to spend some playtime with Will (only 9 days older than Vai). Giving his social skills a little practice too.

Children at this age, though side by side, tend to focus and play with the toys surrounding them. Not really ‘with each other’. Yet. But frankly it was interesting to see how both Vai and Will interacted with each other (they both first met about 4 months ago. No interaction at that age, obviously).

Vai kinda went around and explored the home (heading towards the shoes section quite a number of times!) and Will liked to grab, hug and bring Vai to his mouth whenever he’s near him. Hehe.

Ah. I wonder how it’d be like the next time they get to play with each other again.

Always an interesting discovery for both the kids and the parents.

Okay now this is interesting.

Right after I wrote about Vai and how tough it is for me to get him to take his solids, he actually … started to eat relatively WELL!

Hardly any crying too! I’m amazed.

But. It’s SO messy.

He opens his mouth and once the food’s in, 50% will come out (more, if he’s looking down!) and I have to quickly scoop it in again. And this happens throughout his mealtime.

And now that he’s discovered the art of ‘blowing’, he often playfully ‘blows’ the cereals as the spoon touches his mouth.

He also ‘wipes’ the table with both his palms. Kinda like ‘finger painting’ to me!

Oh the food goes all over his face, hands, arms, bib, baby chair and the table. And of course the floor (AND my T-shirt!)

He’s very happy though. And he finishes his meal! (Me so happy!)

So now he only wears a bib and his diapers during mealtime. And he goes straight to the bathroom for his ‘thorough’ shower afterwards.

I’m fine with it. And he sure looks he’s okay too.

PS: I hope it doesn’t go back and become ‘tough’ again AFTER I write about it!

Anya’s now three years old and it’s always interesting to see her progress and development over the past three years.

She used to speak rather softly (and I had to frequently ask her to speak up). And now, she’s so loud that I need to frequently ask her to lower her volume!

Overall Anya’s the type who prefers to not approach and start a conversation with strangers. In a way this is good I guess (for ‘safety’ reasons), but to me this also means that she’s rather less ‘proactive’ when it comes to interacting with new people.

I realise it’s part of her temperament, but it doesn’t mean she’s ‘stuck’ with it. I believe we parents can always help and encourage the child to continually explore and develop their characters, eg. by creating opportunities for a rather timid child to see for herself that she in fact ‘can do it’.

Like when we go to the shops or supermarkets, I let Anya be the one who ‘pays’. It took a while for her to get used to it in the beginning. But now that she’s so used to it, she often ‘insists’ to be the one who gives the money to the cashier / taxi driver / fruit seller. And I can really see the twinkle in her eyes afterwards. It’s as if she knows in her heart that she’s accomplished ‘something’.

Personally, I think it’s important for each one of us to continually know and learn about one’s own strength and weakness.

Because only then we can further develop one’s strength and progressively work on one’s ‘weakness’.

I believe we’re never stagnant. We’re created by GOD and are given so much potential that we should never stop learning and changing towards the better.

And I sure hope that while I myself continue to learn, I also can teach my kids to always look within and change towards the better.

To continually be a blessing to those around.

Vai now eats his solids twice a day. Carrot. Rice Cereal. Banana. Papaya. Apple. Spinach. Etc (strained / steamed / pureed)

Thing is … when it comes to his mealtime, this number Two kid of mine somehow shows not much of an interest (he breastfeeds fine and well though).

You see. It was all okay in the beginning. But since some 3 weeks ago it all got pretty … difficult. He’d refuse to open his mouth, turn his head and push the spoon away. And almost always, he’d cry and complain.

Then I found out that he apparently had some whitish-looking thingy just under his tongue (an ‘oral thrush’!).

Though it’s not dangerous (an anti-fungal oral gel will fix the problem within a week or so. Vai’s doctor gave him Daktarin Oral Gel), it apparently is really painful to the baby. No wonder he complained and cried a lot during mealtimes.

And so I waited for the pain to go away, hoping that it’d be much less of a struggle when he’s all well. And in the mean time, I still tried my best giving him some solids (even a little bit).

The thrush’s gone for sometime now, but mealtimes continues to be a battle.

Okay. It’s not that he always cries and fusses. There are times when it all goes VERY smoothly and my smile goes from cheek to cheek!

But really, … I can say 70% of the time this little guy cries and complains (read: the reason why I prefer giving him his meals ‘at home’ and not when we’re outside).

And I’ve tried and tested sooo many tricks to keep him interested (and somewhat ‘distracted’ so he’ll eat without fussing).

I’ve offered different home-made food and fruits. Tried various baby food in jars. Kept him entertained by making super-silly sounds, body movements and overly-exaggerated facial expressions (read: better if performed in the presence of no one other than the kids and my hubby! For the sake of my own image and reputation, I mean. Hehe).

I dangle house keys, a packet of crackers, basically anything that makes interesting sounds so that he’d look up and gulp his food while trying to reach for it.

Even Anya sometimes becomes his ‘mealtime entertainer’.

These tricks, used in different combinations at different times, work usually. For A LITTLE WHILE.

And if he really fusses and cries a lot, I just end his meal there and throw the rest away.

Sigh.

I know all the theories in my head. Mealtimes are supposed to be fun. If we continue to give food to a crying baby it will make him see his mealtime as something ‘negative’. If the baby fusses and is not interested, we should ‘try it again later’.

The thing is, Vai may cry and complain in the first 3 minutes, but he may be completely okay after that (read: eating well). Hmm. Or vice versa. Come to think of it, he has no specific eating patterns actually.

Good thing I somehow am not frustrated or go all angry at him for making most of his mealtimes a challenge for me. I’d usually just smile, shake my head, take a deep breath and keep on trying to find a way to get him take up another spoonful.

Last night I browsed the internet trying to look for ideas and tricks that work. Just any possible ways to get him eat without fussing.

I then came across quite a good one from babycentre.co.uk and got some useful input from there.

And so this morning, I gave him a little plastic bowl, put some of his rice cereals in it and let him ‘play with it’. Oh it all got VERY messy.

My left hand held onto the bowl (cause otherwise it’d be flung all over the place), while my right hand did the feeding. AND, he ate all his food with very little fuss! He’s so busy playing with the cereal using his little fingers!

I guess he found the cereal’s grainy-feel interesting. Another new discovery!

[Not sure if it’s because this morning was one of the ‘good days’ or because the trick worked. Hmm]

Anyway.

I guess I have to keep on trying to find (or invent) more ways (well, unless things gradually and consistently get better. Oh what a great day that’d be!)

This little guy sure wants me to exercise my brain and keeps me on the ball all the time *smile*

Some friends of ours are leaving Singapore for good next Monday and we held a nice little get-together today. Just a few families and their kids.

Really. There are just sooo many of our friends leaving for other countries this year. To Australia and America, mainly.

And while we always wish them the very best in their new place, I still don’t particularly like farewells. Just kinda sad at the thought of not having them around like always.

Farewells always remind me of one thing though. To always treasure what you have now. Your friends. Your community.

Because our life’s journey continues and what we have now will change. The friends we now have may not be there when we move on to the next phase in life too.

Ah anyway.

To my friends who’re reading this from far far away places, you guys are missed always.

He wasn’t some handsome king.
Nothing about the way he looked made him attractive to us.

He was hated and rejected;
His life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering.

No one wanted to look at him.
We despised him and said, “He is a nobody!”

He suffered and endured great pain for us,
but we thought his suffering was punishment from God.

He was wounded and crushed because of our sins;
by taking our punishment,
He made us completely well.

Isaiah 53:2-5