Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

We all grow up. Even as adults, we should never stop growing.

In our general knowledge of things. In our characters and mindset. In our spirituality. In our love for God. In our relationship with our spouse, children and other people. In all other aspects in life.

Every one of us regardless of our age must continue to grow. It’s part of life. And it’s part of living.

As a parent, we naturally want to see our children grow and develop too. And we teach them how to slowly become independent individuals.

From self-feeding, putting on their own clothes, going diaperless, playing with friends, expressing their wants and communicating their feelings.

The thing is, seeing our kids grow up and develop – though truly a wonderful privilege – also means having to go through the ‘necessary phase’ that naturally comes with the process of growing up itself.

And I’ve got to say it hasn’t been easy.

In the past two weeks for example, Anya’s been displaying a lot of her ‘growing independence’.

She’d challenge our authority, refuse our requests, ignore our questions, assert her wants and test our limits.
And when her wants are not met, she’d show her unhappiness there and then (read: whine, scream, cry, sit on the floor). Even in public.

Frankly it’s been emotionally and mentally draining for me (as it’s been for her too, I guess).

And there was a time when the kids were asleep and I laid in bed, thinking and feeling so awfully bad for having disciplined and raised my voice to Anya so very often in the past few days. It’s like … if only I could be more patient and loving. Or … if only I could wait a bit longer before I snapped and yelled at her.

Sigh.

Ah whatever it is, two things are for sure though. I’m VERY thankful for the strength GOD’s been giving me till today. And, I never for a second regret my decision on being a fulltime Mom.

Because I know that even IF I myself – her own Mommy who really loves her – struggle so much in finding better ways to deal with her tantrums and am often feel so close to losing my control, I can’t imagine how her misbehaviours would be dealt with if she’s being cared for by someone else.

So yes, it’s a tough phase that she has to go through as part of growing up.

It’s teaching me so much lessons too. And in the end, I too am growing and learning a lot on how to become a better parent to my kids.

PS: Things are looking a bit better this past couple of days. Hope I’m getting so much nearer to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Having felt bad and emotionally low that one night helped a lot in making me more mindful of my tone of voice when I talk to her and how I should show even more love during this period (which I feel is what she really longs for these days)

Being a Mom of two, I personally find it a daily challenge to be able to juggle and spend time ‘equally’ and wisely with the two kids.

Vai being the younger one who still needs a lot of ‘physical care’ from me (feeding, diaper changing, etc) naturally needs ‘more’ of my time.

At the same time, Anya being the older one needs a different kind of attention from me.

She wants her actions to be noticed. She wants me to always know and listen whenever she says or comments on something. Which sometimes is a bit hard to do when I’m in the middle of soothing the crying brother, or in a conversation with a friend.

I notice too that when Wilson has to stay back at work to meet project deadlines for a few days in a row, she’s more cranky and demanding than usual.

It all comes down to attention, I guess. I’m sure Anya knows we both love her very much. We often tell her how much we love her too.

But knowing alone is of course not enough. Knowing needs to be accompanied with actual attention showered by the parents and time spent with the kids.

And so. For my case, it’ll always be a daily challenge. To shower both kids with the attention and love each of them need. And to let them see and experience the love that they often hear about.

Went to Vivo City with the kids today and met up with my eldest sister who’s in town for a couple of days with her family and friends.

Spent some 5 hours there!

The kids, though very sleepy-looking, were too excited to nap!

And by the time the three of us took the train back, they slept all the way home.

Anya in the pram. Vai in my sling.

It was raining. And my shoulder ached.

But anyway. Though only for a short while, it’s nice catching up!

You see them play with (and complain about) each other.

Protect and care for one another.

And at times, try to sneekily WAKE the other up when he’s already fast asleep!

There are many who in actual fact are blessed with so much potentials, yet they hardly ever produce anything in their life. They let their potentials remain … stagnant. Undiscovered. Unused. Unexplored.

And many unfortunately stop at only talking and ‘imagining’ themselves doing this and that.

Let’s continue to discover and explore our God-given talents and potentials.

For one day we’ll be held accountable for the things we have (and have NOT) done during the lifetime given to us.

When you apply lots of toothpaste on your hands and fingers, it can actually help a lot in taking away the smell of anything (eg. garlic, durian) from them.

And instead of a laundry net, we can actually stuff our lingerie or whatever small ‘delicate clothings’ into an old pair of stockings before we throw it into the washing machine.

Ah. You see, those are just two examples of household tricks that I personally know (read: tried and tested).

And I’m sure there are SO MUCH MORE other tricks and tips that Moms out there can share. For the benefits of others.

So please do write in and share some household tricks and tips that you know and I’ll post them up here later.

It’d be a great exchange of info!

A person’s MANY years of experience in a particular subject does not always mean he SURE is better than everyone else who has less number of years.

Although one generally knows MORE when then learn and study a particular subject for a long period, it (unfortunately) may not be the case for everyone.

There are some who somehow feel that they’re so experienced in something that they stop being open to others’ feedback. However constructive.

They stick to what they ‘used to’ know and hence they unconsciously … stop learning. Years go by but there simply are no improvements in their knowledge nor self.

In order to continually learn and improve one’s self (in whatever aspects in life), one needs to be humble and have a teachable mind. Always ready to introspect and evaluate ourselves.

Even if it means being (uncomfortably) corrected by others.