Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Little children are naturally curious about everything.

They like to ask, wonder, explore, repeat the same old questions and try things out ‘to see what happens’. As they get curious about lots of things, they explore, and hence they learn.

They’d go, ‘Why?’, ‘When?’, ‘Where?’, ‘How?’, ‘Which one?’, ‘Can I see it NOW?’, ‘How come?’

And at times, instead of asking questions, they’d go ahead and ‘try’ things out.

They’d pour water on the floor, blow bubbles with their saliva, put crayons into their mouth, lift the lid of daddy’s box to see the inside, flip a box of toys upside down, observe tiny red ants marching along a pole, etc.

And parents, faced with their kids’ frequent questioning and ‘physical explorations’, may simply feel ‘tired’. Sometimes even, parents snap back at their kids, telling them to ‘just be quiet!’, to ‘Stop asking so many questions!’ and to ‘NOT do that, please!’

[Having two kids myself – where the older one tends to show her curiosity ‘verbally’, while the other likes to test and try things out with less talk  – I do go through what it’s like dealing with kids’ curiosity, and yes, it can really be mentally tiring]

Remarks – though made jokingly – such as : ‘Are you sure you want to lift that box? You’re so small!’ or ‘I don’t think my son can sing! There’s no use of him trying out to join the children choir!’ can also have detrimental effects on a child’s eagerness to try something out.

When we choose to tell our kids to ask LESS questions and to STOP touching/throwing/opening/trying things out, it may be the easiest way to soothe our throbbing headache and thinning level of patience. But I do often wonder whether such an approach is the ‘best’ approach for our kids’ development.

What happens if our kids then become ‘less curious’ kids?

What if our kids become ‘less interested’ to venture and try out new things?

I came across this excellent article on children’s curiosity.

And here’s an interesting paragraph I’d like to quote:

For too many children, curiosity fades. Our potential — emotional, social, and cognitive — is expressed through the quantity and quality of our experiences. And the less-curious child will make fewer new friends, join fewer social groups, read fewer books, and take fewer hikes. The less-curious child is harder to teach because he is harder to inspire, enthuse, and motivate.

As much as my husband and I try to nurture our kids’ love for discovery, exploration and learning, where possible, we do realise that at times, many times, we may unconsciously be limiting (read: ‘killing’) our kids’ curiosity through our comments, our reactions, even our tone of voice.

[Yes, we both have so much to learn, and this article becomes such a strong reminder to us]

…

Another question that I feel we parents often try to figure out when it comes to children and their curiosity is : ‘so, where is the limit then ?’ Especially because (to me) letting our children explore, discover and find things out for themselves does not mean they can do ‘anything’ they want.

And in terms of letting my kids explore, here are some of my ‘general rules’:

I tend to let my kids do what they’re about to do, IF :

– it doesn’t pose extreme danger to themselves (eg. running about in car parks, wanting to walk by themselves while crossing the road, standing too near to an open fire)

– the action is not destructive – to public’s and other people’s property (eg. writing on neighbour’s wall, scratching people’s cars, stepping on someone’s belongings intentionally)

– the action doesn’t hurt / endanger / cause pain to others (eg. stepping on someone’s toes intentionally, pushing games by the road side, purposely throwing a toy towards someone’s head)

It’s a much longer list and I’m still learning and adding more to it as I go along.

The thing is, when it comes to raising kids things are not always as simple as black and white . These little ones’ behaviours are not always predictable, and often I find myself wondering HOW best I should be tackling certain situations.

Oh well. I guess that’s why our learning journey as parents never stops.

We’ll never be fully equipped and wise, but we should always try our best. For the children’s sake.

…

[Photo info]

Top : Vai’s version of ‘looking at the world with a different perspective’

Middle : Mixing and ‘cooking’ our ‘Pepper Lunch‘ (rice, ingredients and sauce served on on a hot iron plate

Bottom : Our close encounter with an adult leopard during our visit to Safari Park, Cisarua, Indonesia last June

We all had a nice night out with Wilson’s tennis friends last Saturday. And right after dinner at Riverside Point, we headed out for dessert at Haagen Dazs Clarke Quay.

We tried out Summer Berries and Cream. SO yummy!

…

The Haagen Dazs outlet there is nice and cozy, great for getting together with friends. But to fully enjoy the ice cream itself, I’d prefer adding an extra S$3 and getting a ‘tub’ (from a shop) rather than just a scoop from their outlet though!

One of the things I like about Singapore is that despite the fact that it’s a relatively small-sized country, it tries to preserve at least some of its greenery.

There are quite a number of preserved parks all around the island (click HERE to see the list of parks you can visit).

Last month we went to visit Pasir Ris Park, and this time round we visited Bukit Batok Nature Park!

I love the refreshing smell of the trees and the fact that we’re surrounded by so much greenery, away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

The kids squatted and observed little mushrooms growing on the side of the walkway. They watched squirrels running about and climbing on trees. They looked for turtles and monkeys too, but somehow they were no where to be seen today.

Wilson and I took our sandals off and tried walking about on the pebbled walk way too, which btw is a common form of exercise amongst the older generation, as the pressure on the feet promotes better blood circulation, or so they say. Whatever it is, I was cringing throughout! (and I guess that means I’m simply not fit?)

Anyway, there’s an area for sandplay and playground equipments there too!

The weather was cool and cloudy today, which made our trekking trip a lot more enjoyable.

We brought along our stroller and the kids took their turns and sat on it. Daddy carried whoever’s not on the stroller once in a while too, as and when they got tired from too much walking.

I must say, we parents might feel physically tired (from all that stroller-pushing and occasional carrying up and down the hilly walk), but it really was a refreshing day out!

Got to do this more regularly, I think!

Just a quick update :

I decided to move my blog to wordpress last May, and since then I’ve been trying to set aside time here and there to transfer the rest of my old blog entries.

There are more than 700 to begin with, and by now I STILL have about 300 or so old entries waiting to be manually transferred!

And this is the reason why if you click on the archives (left bar) and categories (right bar), there’re so many missing dates on LOTS of them.

Anyway.

I’m aiming to complete the transfer by this September!

Let’s hope I meet my own target!

Anya – being close to 4.5 years old – still has her grumpy days where she whines, cries and screams when her demands are not met.

Vai – who’s turning two in less than a month – also has his own way of asserting what he wants and his unhappiness when he doesn’t get it (vocally and physically), although I must say he is less ‘hormonal’ (read : emotional) than his sister.

Anyway, here’s a good article for us all on this topic (I’ve shortened some parts of it).

Have a good read!

…

From : Parenthood.com

We’ve all experienced it – the dreaded tantrum in a public place. Little Susie Q is screaming at the top of her lungs while an assortment of disapproving eyes are all focused on you. The pressure is on.

Fear not, you are not alone. There is no foolproof method that works for everyone every single time. There are, however, a few tips for handling a tantrum with a little decorum.

1. Put your child’s needs first. It is tempting to worry about what “everyone else is thinking,” but make eye contact with your child and let her know you are “present” to the situation.

2. Don’t make jokes. This is not the time to try and cajole her back to a calm state. If she is shrieking and thrashing around on the floor, put your grocery basket in reverse, tell the checker you will return another time, and physically walk out of the store with Susie in tow. Sometimes a different environment is all it takes to calm a child down. If she doesn’t calm down, leave … quickly.

3. Don’t make empty threats. If you say, “Susie, if you don’t stop screaming, we will not go to the park,” you must follow through. You must be consistent with your words.

4. Apologize to bystanders while you attempt to gingerly make your way out the door. You need not gush, simply say, “I’m sorry, we are having a difficult morning.”

5. Refrain from trying to act like the tantrum isn’t happening. Nothing is more maddening to bystanders than witnessing a mother attempting (and tragically failing) to ignore her child’s defiant behavior.

6. If a tantrum occurs in church, immediately whisk your child out the nearest exit.

7. Movie theaters are not the place to try and negotiate good behavior. If a tantrum begins in the middle of a movie, it is your unfortunate job to remove your child. This may mean that your other children have to miss the movie too, but the other moviegoers will appreciate your good manners.

Children are not mini adults and their expression of anger through an occasional tantrum is inevitable. How we, as parents, handle the situation is what makes the difference.

Although we mustn’t reward a child after a tantrum by giving in and allowing her to have her way, we can praise the child for regaining control by hugging her and letting her know that our love is unconditional

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

If you’ve encountered tantrums in public, hope you can share your experience with us at the comments section (click on the link, right below the blog title).

How was it, how was the reaction of the people around you at the time, and what did you do to ‘control’ the situation?

Hear from you…

Now that I have two kids and am raising them fulltime, I can say I get this one question a lot from people :

‘How has it been so far? ‘ (or in other words, ‘How are your coping?’, ‘Don’t you get stressed out?’)

…

I’ve shared quite a bit in the past on the ups and downs of life with kids, like the time when :

I wondered if I could survive managing my life with kids (I was pregnant with my no. 2 at the time)

I shared why I never look down on my decision to raise my own children fulltime (Anya, my first born, was 19 months at the time)

I wondered if I could love two children equally

I shared how my two kids’ different temperaments affect my ‘going out and about with kids’ activities

I wrote about the reality of having two kids

I shared my tough moments with the kids, and how every child will go through such periods as part of their ‘growing up’ phase

I compared how things were when I had only one and after I had my second one

I wrote about why I strongly feel we parents have very limited time with our children and why I feel our time is NOW

…

If anyone were to ask whether I enjoy my motherhood days, my answer will still be the same as the one I gave before :

I love what I do and despite the challenges and tough situations a fulltime mother faces each day, I still feel it’s such an honour and privilege to be entrusted by God with these little ones. And I’ll strive to continually learn to be a better Mom each day, the kind of Mom God wants me to be.

We had quite a bit of coloured straws and coloured paper at home, and so we made these paper flowers (that are supposed to look something like this if they’re real)

What you need :

>> Coloured paper

>> Coloured straws (for the stems)

>> Crayons, glue, scissors and scotch tape

What you do :

>> Place kid’s palm on paper and using a crayon, make an outline

>> Cut the outline (older kids may help out)

>> Paste a bit of glue on one side of the ‘handprint’ and make a ‘cone’ (on the lower part of the handprint cut-out)

>> Stick a straw in the middle of it

>> To ensure the paper flower stays put, use a scotch tape to stick the paper flower to the straw

It’s that easy!

I do feel this activity is more for older kids though as it is slightly more complex.

Vai – who is turning 2 years old next month – couldn’t really contribute much, other than lending his palm.

And so he did a simple hand-eye coordination exercise (while Anya and I worked on the flowers) : he placed coloured matchsticks into the straw.

And since we keep the ‘stretchy’ part of the straw slightly bent at the bottom, the matchsticks remained inside the straw. Only when it’s full that he straightened up the straw, and let the rest of the matchsticks fall out!

[Matchsticks do get ‘jammed’ in the tunnel]

Anyway, we liked the flowers we made!

And Anya held on to the bunch and pretended to be : a salesgirl at a flowershop, then a flower girl walking down the aisle!