Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Parents naturally are concerned about how their children will ‘succeed’ in life.

And so since young, many little ones are already sent to the ‘best school’, tuitions, sports/music/arts lessons, etc.

Children who easily feel depressed when others receive ‘more stars’ than themWhile I have my personal views on the above 😊 today, I’m thinking about our children’s mentality …

ie. How many parents are aware and concerned about the shaping of their children’s mentality?

eg.
Children who tend to give up easily unless continually rewarded by parents.

Children who easily feel depressed when others receive ‘more stars’ than them.

Children who tend to see themselves as ‘victims’ whenever unfavourable situations occur.

Children who regard treating others – young and old – respectfully is NOT as important as achieving excellence at school.

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Children who tend to see themselves as ‘victims’ whenever unfavourable situations occurPersonal thoughts:

For us to spot our children’s strengths and weaknesses in their overall mentality, we need to be actively present and involved ourselves, in their day to day lives.

There’s no other way.

And it’s not ‘easy’ to do, because such tendencies are often not always ‘obvious’.

(ie. Easier to see how our children are doing in their Maths subject, than to see their motivation or heart tendencies)

It’s not ‘easy’ to do, because such tendencies are often not always ‘obvious’So, if you ask me, I’d say … for us to be aware of which traits/tendencies that need to be developed, corrected or guided further, we sincerely need wisdom from above.

Praying for them, reading books, having a positive community of fellow families, and attending parenting talks are necessary too, of course.

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I have three kiddos, from 7yo to 15yo, and I can say that so far this journey has not been easy.

I feel I’m shaped, rebuked and humbled too along the way.

May God help us.

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Food for thought?

 
From Brie, to Daddy Wilson.

 
A boy, perhaps 11-12yo, walked next to his mom in public. He seemed quite excited to share something that happened at school.

Some 15 seconds into his sharing, his mom frowned, looked at him and said, ‘Eh, don’t lie ya!!!’ in a rather loud voice. And the boy stayed quiet afterwards.

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How do we generally respond to our children when they speak to us?What I saw got me thinking:

– How do we generally respond to our children when they speak to us? ie. The kinds of words, our tone of voice, our facial expression.

eg. Do we respond like we’re annoyed (because we are busy with housework, eg.) whenever they come to us to share something exciting about school, eg.?

– Do we use words that tend to ‘condemn’ and are generally ‘negative’?

eg.
> When we’re not sure if the child is telling the truth or not:

‘Eh, don’t lie ya!!!’ vs ‘You are telling the truth, yes?’

> When our child tells us something that he/she did wrong at school:

‘Why are you ALWAYS causing trouble at school!!!’
vs ‘Then, what happened?’ What do you think of what you did?’

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Many parents of teens wonder why their children don’t communicate / share anything much with them
Many parents of teens wonder why their children don’t communicate / share anything much with them.

Perhaps we need to first ask ourselves:

Do we encourage communication?

Do we listen (and not be quick to condemn) when they share?

Since they’re little, how have we treated our children when they relate to us?

Could we perhaps be the reason why they stop talking and sharing with us? 😬

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If our children are still young, … there’s still time to instill positive communication habits.

Let’s not miss our chance.

We ourselves are still working on ours.

Everyday.

Food for thought?

 
With a drone, we get to see the world from a bird’s eye view.

And with THIS, we get to see the world UP CLOSE!

Like, 140x bigger!!

Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to … FOLDSCOPE!

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To find out what it is, click and watch this clip:

 
And read more about it here:
http://www.foldscope.com

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You see, when we first heard about it, we immediately ordered them from the US!

More like a box of them, haha!

To us, this is an amazing invention that will allow us (our kids especially!) to see the world from a whole new perspective!

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Now, guess what the above is?

It’s a zoomed-in version of a … fern!

Yes, the plant!

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How about this one below?
 

 
Believe it or not, it’s a head louse.

Yes, that creepy crawly thingy that sucks blood off your scalp! *YIKES*

The red part in the photo is the ‘blood’ flowing inside that tiny head louse’s body!

(You can take photos and videos using your own mobile phone, by putting the phone lens on to the foldscope lens!)
 

 

 
Oh btw, I’ve had people asking me more about this Foldscope thing.

Here are some commonly asked questions:

– Is this easy to assemble?

Well, Wilson took about 20-30 mins to put this paper microscope together, and he referred to the printed manual AND Youtube video tutorials.

(As for me, just looking at the manual already turned me off =)
 

– How many times can we use this microscope? Just once?

Nooooo … you can use it again and again and again.

For just US$1, this is such an amazing invention, if you ask me!

 
– So, if I want one, does it cost me a dollar?

Well, buying anything comes with delivery costs. So, don’t forget that you’d need to pay for that too when you go and get yours =)
 

– Where can I get one for myself?

Go online! More and more online shops are selling these!

So, … go ahead and have fun yeah!!

And, be prepared to enter the amazing micro world!
 

 
And it was just like that, … she turned 15!

The eldest in the family had her birthday today!
 

At least for me.

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There are times when I feel proud.

Proud of her choices, her passion for reading, her maturity, her works, creative works especially.

And, there are times when I feel discouraged, down and broken-hearted.

Times when I felt like giving up for I have failed.

Times when I didn’t have control of my emotion and impatience.
 

Have we raised a young lady ready to face the world without us in a few years?

I honestly hope so, though I frankly find the thought of letting go so hard to swallow.

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Anyway, our prayer for our eldest hasn’t changed since the day she’s entrusted in our care.

ie. For her to be a woman after God’s own heart.

Someone who dares to make choices that are pleasing to God, though they are most likely going to be unpopular.

Someone who can be a blessing to others and continually develop her God-given talents.

Someone who always remembers to be kind.

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I know I rarely post this many birthday photos on the blog.

I just feel I need to, … so we, especially the birthday girl, remember always, to count our blessings, and be thankful for the gift of family.
 

Thank God for His goodness and mercy.

And for watching over our eldest all these 15 years.

She’s indeed loved.

By us, her siblings, her bigger family and friends, and most importantly, by her Creator, her Redeemer.

Today all five of us attended a full-day seminar on ‘courtship and marriage’ (Rahasia Pacaran & Pernikahan Kristen).

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Here are a few points that I wish to share with you:

💑 It’s not about finding the right one, but it’s more about preparing ourself to be the right one

💑 Marriage is a union between two sinners. There will surely be conflicts and problems.

💑 When we watch TV, we don’t watch the ‘actual box’ in front of us. We watch ‘what is shown’ by the box. Through TV, we can see the beauty of nature, and even go to places we’ve never been before.

In the same way, when people see our marriage, what do they see?

If we’re to choose a particular genre, what ‘category’ will our marriage fall into? Romantic comedy, action, thriller or perhaps … horror?

💑 Is our marriage a blessing to others, or do others curse christian marriages / the God we worship when they see our marriage?

💑 Three important principles to keep (Hebrew 13:4):
>> Marriage should be honoured by all
>> Marriage bed to be kept pure
>> God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

💑 Whoever says he/she is ready to marry, then that person must also be ready to deny himself/herself, sacrifice self, to help/protect/serve another.

💑 Many people actively serve God when they’re single. And when they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, they serve ‘less’. By the time they’re married, they hardly serve at all.

When we do any kind of work, the amount of work completed should naturally be even MORE when there is an extra help. The same goes with courtship and marriage. When there are two of us, more should naturally be done. Getting married is also about expanding the Kingdom of God.

💑 John 9:1 says, ‘As he passed by, HE SAW A MAN blind from birth.’

Interesting how it is written that Jesus ‘saw a MAN’ who happened to be blind from birth. He didn’t see people as ‘THE blind’ or ‘THE crippled’. Jesus saw the MAN as an image of God. Too often, when we see other people, we only see their flaws, their weaknesses. And we mock and disrespect them.

💑 A ‘good marriage’ requires good communication. The problem is, in this fallen world, communication and relationships are broken and damaged.

💑 Because of sin, communication is no longer loving / used to express genuine love, but it’s more about exerting power over others, attacking others and avoiding responsibilities.

💑 The things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart (Matthew 15:18). Our words reflect what’s in our heart, ie. Pride, hatred, selfishness, anger, self-pity. Sinfulness, basically.

From the mouth, we justify ourselves and place ourselves as the centre of everything. And often, when things happen that we feel is not favourable, we express it through our words that WE are the victim.

💑 Husbands, respect, be gentle and loving to your wives, and she’ll be willing to give her heart and submit to you. Wives, submit to your husband. Men and women are created equal, with different roles, different orders.

💑 If other people owe you some money, it is okay if you forget about it. But, if you owe people money, you must remember and NOT forget! Remember other people’s kindness, but don’t keep remembering the mistakes of others, else you will suffer.

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Okay, I’ll stop here.

There are just way too many to share! 🙏

There were 12,500+ people who listened to the talks today, btw!

I hope many have been blessed, whether they are married or not yet married.

I know I have 🙏

How much time can a young child spend on playing online games / browsing on their gadgets?

As much as ‘we’ allow it, if you ask me.

After all, aren’t we the ones who buy / supply / provide the facilities and gadgets to them?

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… aren’t we the ones who buy / supply / provide the facilities and gadgets to them?To me personally, it’s super important to discuss with spouse (even when child is still a baby) and agree on family rules from the start and CONSISTENTLY carry them out.

And what if the children at home are already 9yo, or even 11yo?

It’s never too late to implement family rules.

(Well, unless your kids are already 15yo or older, I guess)

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Here are some of the points (there are so many others) that mommy and daddy should discuss and agree upon:

– At what age will you start allowing your child to ‘browse’ and hold a gadget ON THEIR OWN? (even when it’s for ‘browsing photos’ on your phone). Because, early exposure and interaction with gadget will lead to increased ‘attachment’ and that feeling of ‘I want to hold on to it more and for longer’

– Each time a child is allowed to hold on / fiddle / browse around / play with a gadget / mobile phone ON HIS OWN, for how many minutes is he allowed to do so?

– Does the child need to always watch videos while having his/her meal?

– Can the child play games / fiddle with a gadget while seated on a stroller and being pushed around the park / mall, etc?

Can the child play games BEFORE clearing his responsibilities for the day?
– At what age will you allow the child to ‘choose’ which online games to download to a gadget / ‘your’ mobile phone? And ‘how many’ games can be downloaded at any particular time?

– Can the child play games BEFORE clearing his responsibilities for the day?

– At what age will you allow him/her to have HER OWN gadget / mobile phone?
(For our case, at 13yo, and it’s subject to child’s attitudes after a mobile phone is given. Elaborating this point needs a separate post=)

– Any ‘time of the day’ that the child needs to ‘stop’ using the gadget / mobile phone? (eg. Gadget / phone is off after 7pm everyday?)

What consequence will both parents give to the child when he/she misbehaves DUE TO gadget use?– Can child play on gadgets / mobile phones at meal time / in the car / when there are relatives around?

– What consequence will both parents give to the child when he/she misbehaves DUE TO gadget use?

For example, what happens when:

– Child neglects responsibilities (house chores / homework, etc) because he wants to ‘play first’?

– Child becomes verbally rude when reminded to stop playing in 2 minutes (when he already agrees at the start to only play for 15 mins)

– Child becomes physically/verbally rude/abusive towards siblings/parents/anyone (because he feels he’s being disturbed when playing the game)

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We are not against gadgets / mobile phones.

They can be useful indeed.

Having said that though, gadgets have this strong ‘addictive power’, and everyone – young and old – can be ‘trapped’, if not careful.

Reminders by others (and self-reminders) are needed every now and then.

And I know I need them, too.