Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

As much as a mommy is a child’s primary caregiver, I feel the presence of a daddy who plays an active role in the upbringing of a child is equally important.

Daddy brings balance to a child’s life.

And though he may not be around the child as much due to work commitments, any time spent together needs to be a time to bond.

And, such an involvement needs to start from day one.

Last week Anya had her one week break before Term 4 starts again, today.

[As I sent her to school earlier today I thought to myself, goodness, she’s already in TERM FOUR! I could still vividly remember how she cried and screamed for me when she first started nursery early this year! *sigh* The next thing I know she’ll be in Uni! Okay I exaggerate, but really, time flies so fast!]

Anyway.

We were out and about every day last week. Well, except for Wednesday when it rained almost ‘throughout the day’.

And this was what we did :

MONDAY : Vivo City

Got together with a few other moms and kids at Vivo City. Initially we wanted the kids to have fun at the playground, BUT since it rained so much :

– Kids ran around and played with balloons (we got them free from Marche!) on level 3, near the Sentosa Ticketing Booth. Nice and spacious there.
– Moms snacked at Burger King while most kids napped
– Kids played at Toys “R” Us on level 2 (they played with the many ‘sample’ toys there)

[Photo]
That’s Vai trying REAL hard to blow a balloon WHILE walking back to join the other kids. A bit hard with his eyes all closed, but no, he didn’t hit a pole or anything during his many attempts, hehe.

We were out for a good 8 hours that day! (including our bus trips to and from Vivo). It was rather tiring for me though (who had to carry out two sleeping kids, a pram and two heavy bags down the bus when we reached home)

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TUESDAY : Palawan Beach, Sentosa

Today the three of us went with a rather big group of moms and kids to Vivo City, and took the monorail to Sentosa from there! It was all cloudy that noon, which was great! The kids had fun!

And before we went back to Vivo City, we hopped on the monorail and stopped by the ‘Imbiah Station’ to check out the towering 37-metre high ‘Merlion‘! Vai was about to doze off but when he saw the statue, he got all excited again and only slept soundly on our way back!

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THURSDAY : Women’s Fellowship

Today is more like an ‘outing’ for me! The kids played with the others while I had a bit of ‘me-time’ and learned more about God’s word. It was refreshing.

[photo]
The girls were busy checking out something and Vai couldn’t help but join in.

FRIDAY : Thomas & Friends LIVE at Singapore Expo

Had a nice day out with Nic and Will today. Anya and Vai managed to sit through it all and joined in the actions and singing too.

If you ask me, I’ve always loved live musical performances. The dancing, the singing, the props, the costumes, the lighting, everything. So I’m always happy to go to such live shows with the kids.

The Thomas & Friends Live was nice (though I feel there’s quite a bit of talking at some points which may not be too appealing for those who’re not Thomas-enthusiasts), but somehow I do notice that Anya and Vai were so much more excited when they went to see Dora Live! I guess it’s because they’re so much more familiar with the characters, the songs and all (They watch their Dora and Diego DVD almost everyday!)

SATURDAY : Chinatown and Clarke Quay

For the whole of this month, there’s this Mid-Autumn Festival going on at Clarke Quay and Singapore River. Though frankly I’m not too familiar with what it’s all about (I know it’s that time of the year where there’ll be lots of mooncakes and lanterns!), we want the kids to be part of the whole festivity. To see Chinatown, its crowd and colourful decorations.

The four of us went with another family and too bad when we reached Clarke Quay, it started raining and we didn’t get to see much of the exhibited lanterns there! We watched parts of the lion dance performance and a few others from Central shopping centre’s window though! (not too fun for us adults, but I think the kids didn’t mind too much)

Anyway, the festival is still going on till the end of the month! You may want to check it out!

And if you have school-going kids, hope you had a great time with your family too last week!

Everyone who enters the world will one day leave the world too. We come empty-handed, and we’ll leave bringing nothing with us. Our time is short, and we’re merely ‘guests’. The world is not our home.

The Bible says in Job 14:1-2 :
“Man who is born of woman lives only a short time and is full of trouble. He grows up and dries like a flower. He leaves like a shadow and does not stay.”

Jacob, the son of Isaac and the father of Joseph, felt how ‘his time is short, and his life is full of bitterness’.

Queen Victoria, who’s considered one of the most powerful figure in the history of British empire, also once said : ‘how great is my glory, how big is my power, but how short is my life’.

Unfortunately, it is somehow more common to have such thoughts and reflections on life ONLY WHEN one is near the END of life itself (like the case of Queen Victoria)

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IF we knew we were to leave this world soon, how would you feel? What thoughts would cross your mind?

Have you lived your whole life responsibly? What have you done so far? Do you know where you’re going next? Have you lived and glorified your Creator, living a life that’s according to His original ‘plan’?

Let’s NOT wait till we’re near the end of our own life to decide how we should’ve lived more responsibly every day.

Let’s start with such a reflection TODAY.

We all know when it comes to marriage and keeping the relationship going for a long time, being ‘in love’ alone is not enough.

Because as much as two people love each other, they’re two individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, emotional needs, amongst lots of other things. And when together, disagreements and conflicts are simply inevitable.

In our home, we have our share of heated arguments too.

When good intentions are misunderstood. Lack of communication is seen as lack of appreciation. An exchange of unkind tone of voice as a result of work pressure and daily stress.

Just like any other normal relationships, we have our moments of frustrations with each other.

Really, it’s only when we start talking openly, listening to the other person, resisting the urge to self-defend, swallowing own pride, apologising for one’s unwise move, that we can slowly come to a better understanding of each other.

And I must say, in the end, when both parties are willing to work things out and build a strong marriage together, the seemingly negative experience can bring us closer as husband and wife. That is, when we better understand our spouse’s need and thoughts, and when we discover better ways of handling such conflicts in the future.

Anyway.

The other day we went to a gathering where quite a few ‘senior married couples’ gave their words of wisdom and shared some relationship-related advice to those who’re to be married soon.

And as always, it was an insightful session.

[We had something similar arranged for us before we got married too and we learned SO much from it!]

Here are some practical tips shared that evening :

1. Unless it really is not an option for you both, explore the possibility of having your own roof (ie. not share your home with your parents and in-laws)
Once you’re married, you need time to get used to how things work between just the two of you. And if you have the privacy of your own home, however simple your roof is, adjustments become more ‘real’ and less complicated (ie. without any third parties’ involvements and presence)

2. When conflicts occur, hold your tongue and avoid saying hurtful words that you’ll only regret later. ‘Battles’ get resolved, but hurtful words uttered in a moment of anger may remain in the mind and heart of your spouse.

3. Where necessary, when you’re really mad, step out of the situation to cool your mind and emotions off for a while.
Go to a different room and separate yourself. Do something different for a few minutes. Re-evaluate the situation and gain a little perspective of what’s really going on. Introspect and see whether going ahead with the battle will do any good to the both of you tomorrow or in a year or two.

4. For the wife, especially later when you’re busy looking after the children fulltime : look after and keep yourself ‘physically attractive’ in the eyes of your husband, and remember to keep yourself up to date with what’s going on outside the four walls of the home.
Other than being a mother, you’re a wife too. And as much as you need to be there for your children, your husband needs you as well.

Try to always be in the know, read the newspaper, go out and socialise. Because when your husband talks to you about his work and ‘his world’, you want to be able to respond and ‘understand’ as much as possible what he’s trying to share with you. Because sharing with a completely clueless wife who shows no interest in her husband’s struggles nor in developing and valuing herself may unconsciously lead to a situation where the husband finds more ‘joy’ in chatting and sharing with someone else, somewhere else.

5. For the husband, especially when you start having children in the house : remember to show your love and appreciation with actions and words, to proactively offer help with the household chores, to actively participate in raising the children, especially when it comes to disciplining and teaching them what’s right and wrong. Play an active and responsible role as the husband, the father, the leader in the house. Because your children will learn from you, and your wife will respect you more and more when you do so lovingly and consistently.

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It takes two to work on a marriage, and yes, staying together and staying happy throughout a relationship needs lots of hard work.

But when both husband and wife put in their best effort, overcoming each hurdle together, their relationship will grow even stronger. Which actually is the beauty of marriage itself, isn’t it?

[note]
Those top three photos were taken by Wilson. The first two was taken in London when he’s flown over for the shoot. The third ‘perspective’ shot was of Liang Seah Street, Singapore.

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When it comes to trying to make a relationship work, there are countless tips out there.

Any practical tips and thoughts on marriage, relationships and resolving conflicts that you’ve heard of or you’ve applied yourself? Please do share. Look forward to reading them!

It’s been four weeks since Anya joined her very first ballet class. It’s something that she often talks about since she’s about two years old.

She looks forward to her sessions. She laughs and runs around silly in the dance studio before it begins. And she shows us what she’s learned when we get home.

It’s heartwarming to see how she has found something that she likes. And as long as she explores and loves doing what she does, we’ll be right behind her all the way.

My grandmother got married in mainland China when she was sixteen years old. No it wasn’t pre-arranged by their parents, and yes it was based on love.

That was in 1941.

Then 60 years later, in 2001, I got married.

My grandparents thought it was fun to get all dressed up again for their diamond anniversary. And so that’s us in 2001. The year when I got married and my grandparents had their SIXTIETH wedding anniversary. We had our photo shoot together that day. (I still remember how my grandpa made silly jokes about my grandma and her ‘wedding dress’, hehe).

[She was 76 years old then, and gee, if only I could still look half as good at that age!]

This year they’ve been married for SIXTY SEVEN years. They still travel everywhere together visiting their children and other family members around the world (they’re in fact in Perth right now!).

And the way I see things, just like any other married couples, they may have gone through many rocky times during their years together, and they may have been mad with each other countless times, but they manage to go through it all. They stay together, and I know they’re happy together.

As for Wilson and I, we know we still have a really long way to go together as husband and wife. Many things that perhaps are beyond what we could ever imagine can come our way.

But one thing I know is for sure, if BOTH parties give their very best in keeping their relationship strong and alive, they both can face anything.

When faced with life’s many struggles, they’ll probably even tumble and fall along the way, but they’ll help each other, get up and walk again. Together.

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To my grandpa who’s having his 88th birthday celebrated today : Happy Birthday! Wishing you many years of happiness and good health always!

Goodness. I look at this photo and feel my two kids are growing up too fast!

And emm, is it just me or they both do look sort of similar in this photo?

[note]
I stood outside of the Singapore Expo building when I took this shot, while they stayed indoors. Hence, the faint ‘floor’ reflection on their faces.