Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

 
‘Have you ever felt that Mommy doesn’t love you?’

All 3 kids paused to think for a while.

And their answers were all very much the same:

‘I am angry when you scold me. But I know that you love me.’

To which I replied:

‘Hmm, okay. That’s very normal … I never liked it when I have to scold any of you, too. I prefer to laugh and just have fun. But there are times when I have to, for your good, and I have no choice.’

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We had loads of such talks yesterday and I’m glad and grateful that we did.

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Location: Tebing Keraton, West Java

 
When we think of holidays, we Indonesians often think of going ‘overseas’.

While exploring the land beyond Indonesia is awesome, Indonesia has a LOT to offer as well, and that’s what we’ve been doing with our family over the years.

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We checked out Stone Garden recently, only 25km from Bandung, West Java.

Hardly any hiking necessary, and the view is awesome!

When we’re there, the area was kept clean, too! Thanks to the locals who look after the area.

(Note: Whenever and wherever we are, please please look after the environment and NOT litter!)

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Here’s a quick glimpse of our visit to Stone Garden Padalarang!
 

 
Enjoy!

 
Why do I let my kids in the kitchen and cook simple meals for themselves and for the family? Am I not afraid they’ll get splattered by hot oil or touch the sides of the hot wok and injure themselves?
 
My reply?
 
– As parents, we worry too much about too many things. And our worries may end up ‘robbing’ our children from skills they need as adults later in life.

What kind of adults are we raising?If we don’t allow opportunities for our kids to learn ‘basic life skills’ at home since young (basic cooking skills, managing a home to be ‘relatively clean’, tidying up after using something, basic manners and responsibility, etc), what kind of adults are we raising? What kind of a wife, a husband, a colleague, a friend, will they become?

(Btw, I don’t expect them to ‘master’ the skills, eg. They don’t have to be a great cook – well, unless they want to and they have the talent for it👩🏻‍🍳).

Now.

Of course we guide and supervise them.

It all starts from our homeAnd when they do get hurt (eg. Pricked by a needle while learning how to sew), which they most probably will, we help them and we explain how it is okay as it is part of learning anything in life, ie. You don’t become good in something without making any mistake at all.

Mistakes / minor injuries are fine.

Just try again.
 
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It all starts from our home, from us as parents, if you ask me.

What we teach and NOT teach, matter to our children’s future.

Food for thought.

What’s happening in Indonesia right now still puzzles me.

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Three common comments I’ve been seeing:

**’Jokowi should resign, like Soeharto back in 1998!!!’**
 

>>> Have you been in a game before? When a player has officially been declared as the winner by the umpire and the international boards, then should he resign and give the winning title to the ‘loser’, simply because the loser consistently screams out, ‘Unfair! Fraud!’, especially when NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE has been given and submitted in the court of law by the losing party?

(Can’t wait to see their real evidence, which is supposed to submitted today)

 
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**’The police should stop attacking the people!’, some claimed.**
 
>>> Like, seriously? If a peaceful rally is held, and yet they’re attacked by the police, then YES, the police is totally at fault.

But the mob threw rocks and molotov cocktails and firecrackers towards the officers. Ever wondered HOW COME THEY HAD THOSE THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
If the mob looted shops, burned cars and attacked the police, should the police officers stayed silent and DO NOTHING?

I totally don’t get the logic.
 
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**The rioting mob is not part of the peaceful demonstrators who simply wanted to voice out their protests against the election result!**
 
>>> Well, the police DID NOT fire tear gas towards the peaceful demonstrators during their peaceful rally, did they?

If extremist groups took advantage of the situation and ‘joined’ the peaceful demonstrators, and the extremists then started the riot, causing the police to respond, and as a result, some of the peaceful demonstrators – who happened to still be amidst the crowd – were hurt, … well … unfortunately that’s inevitable, isn’t it?

Just because there are ‘non-rioters’ amidst the rioters, does it mean the police MUST NOT respond to the rocks, molotov cocktails and firecrackers thrown at them?
 
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I feel like I’m watching little kids throwing tantrums for not getting what they wantI totally do not get the logic.

I feel like I’m watching little kids throwing tantrums for not getting what they want.

(Which btw was a repeat to what happened back in 2014, by the SAME CHILD and his friends!)

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Dealing with such victim mentality over these past few months is so exhausting.

I SOOOO look forward to a better Indonesia. We are so behind compared to other neighbouring countries due to these group of politicians.
 

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All photos in this post are taken from this article:
https://www.nytimes.com/…/asia/indonesia-election-riots.html
Mr. Prabowo has not substantiated his claims of fraud, and international observers have not found evidence. In a statement on Wednesday, the United States Embassy in Indonesia called it “a successful, free and fair election.”

 
‘I must win and if I don’t win, I will not accept it and I will make a big fuss about it!!’

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One of the things that we emphasise to our kids is:

When you play or when you are in a game or in a competition:

– if you win, be humble, be thankful and appreciate the ones who lose. They don’t win this time round but it doesn’t mean they are a ‘loser’.

– if you lose, accept it with grace. You may feel sad, and it’s okay. Self-evaluate your game, spot areas that need to be improved, and be driven to practice more, and strive to do better the next time there’s an opportunity. Congratulate the winner, too.

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Opportunities to train the heart (and let them recognise their own tendencies) are plenty.

Eg. When someone else gets a better exam result. When a teacher praises a classmate’s work and our child feels that her work is better. When they have a race and they don’t win.

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Some get angry and throw their rackets to the ground when they lose a gameSome children (including mine) sulk when they ‘lose’.

(It could be as simple as ‘let’s do scissor paper stone to see who gets to sit next to mommy at the restaurant’. Yes, that’s between Levi and Brie 🙂 )

On court, some get angry and throw their rackets to the ground when they lose a game.

Some others deny the fact that they’ve lost, and start blaming everyone else (other than self!) for the result, eg. The umpire, the weather, the unfair judges, etc.

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Some parents buy gifts for their children when they sulk from losing a game.

They may even say, ‘It’s okay! They don’t play as well as you, and I also don’t understand why they win. You’re always the best in our eyes! YOU should’ve won!’

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Some others deny the fact that they’ve lost, and start blaming everyone elseIt may seem simple, but the ‘unhealthy’ mentality of ‘I must win and if I don’t win, I will not accept it and I will make a big fuss about it!!’ should really REALLY be shaped, rebuked, guided since young. By us, the parents.

Otherwise, … we’ll see more and more adults displaying such mentality, in their family, at work, in public, and even … in politics.

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May our children be spared from such episodes when they’re grown-ups because WE do our part in guiding and teaching them about ‘playing well and fair’ since they’re really young.

Food for thought.