Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Just this afternoon, Vai and I were walking hand in hand as we were about to pick Anya up from school.

And I asked him this question :

‘When you scream and cry, and when you’re just behaving really badly … does Mommy love you?’

‘No’, he replied.

I then told him, ‘Mommy will STILL love you very much even though you scream, and cry and behave really badly. But, I will be very sad about your behaviour.’

I then asked him the same question, but this time round it was slightly different,

‘When you scream and cry, and when you’re behaving really badly … does DADDY love you?’

Vai replied, ‘No.’

And I gave him the exact same reply, that is … how Daddy will always love him even though he misbehaves and how Daddy will however be sad about it.

Then I asked him again,

‘When you behave really really badly … does GOD love you?’

And Vai said, “Yes, but God will be sad about it’

I stopped, smiled, gave him a hug and told him how Mommy and Daddy will always love him REGARDLESS of what he does, and we are very sad each time he disobeys or misbehaves. And I told him how God loves him even MORE, and how GOD is even more sad when he misbehaves.

…

I’ve asked Anya those questions since she’s much younger too, but from time to time, I still do ask her and reassure her of our love and acceptance of her. And most importantly, of God’s love and acceptance of her.

And really, I strongly believe that ALL children do need such assurance of acceptance and love too.

And they need to hear it from us and experience the truth of what we’ve said through our daily actions.

You know … that they will always be loved and accepted.

No matter what.

[Photos]
Top : Cottesloe Beach, Perth
Bottom : King’s Park, Perth

We have a few magnets stuck on our fridge and there’s one that I particularly like and it says,

This is how children spell love :

T.I.M.E.

…

Children don’t ask for handsome dads or beautiful moms.

They don’t ask to be showered with gifts and new toys.

They simply crave for our time spent with them.

And the sad reality is, time is often the most difficult gift we could give to our children.

Yes. It may be difficult, especially for busy parents.

But it sure is not impossible.

Let’s learn to give our children what they truly love.

Our time.

… and I saw THIS!

The rubbery part of a big pen we got from Scott’s Emulsion (a promo gift) comfortably STUCK in Vai’s ear!

Haha.

Something our little Vai WOULD do, I guess!

Oh well.

At least now I know what he was doing BEFORE he finally dozed off!

Really, how can life with children be dull, heh.

One of our favourite animation movies of all time is Finding Nemo. We’ve all watched it for SO many times and yet we’ve never grown tired of it.

Now here’s something that I find rather interesting.

While Anya is more into Nemo, his dad and ‘Mr. Ray’, Vai finds sharks much more fascinating!
(and people say, such animal choices could represent the kids’ underlying characters? hmmm)

And since each time we visit the library I would encourage the kids to pick up a book where we can learn new things about the animal world together, Vai chose a book on … sharks.

And the other day, with that book in mind, Vai and I created our own underwater adventure.

Involving a shark, of course.

And oh, a diver too! (just like the one in the ‘Finding Nemo’ movie).
What we used :

– Drawing paper
– Watercolour and sponge
– Crayons
– Scissors and glue

What we did:

– I drew a picture of a shark (based on one of the shark pictures in the book). Vai then coloured it grey with his crayon (notice the ‘black tips’ on the shark’s fins, hehe)

–  I then cut the shark out while Vai covered his drawing paper with blue watercolour (which will be the ‘ocean’) using a used dish-washing sponge

– I cut out little triangles (the shark’s sharp teeth!), and Vai then stuck them on (fantastic fine-motor exercise for little ones here!)

– And finally, the diver. The only diver picture I could find (we didn’t surf the internet for it) is the one on his puzzle box. And so I used that as my reference, and drew Vai’s diver.

Vai then coloured it with his crayons.

[Tips: I usually let Vai colour the drawing first before cutting it out, as this way, I can get him to cover all of the surface and not worry about going ‘over the lines’]

And that’s it!

Vai just made his own little version of Finding Nemo’s shark-diver scene. Hehe.

See if you can guess what his underwater story is about.

If you live in Jakarta, families (including kids) get to go to wedding services and receptions relatively often. One can even go to wedding dinners for up to 2-4 times a month!

I guess it’s because in Indonesia, there – very most likely  – won’t just be your friends and close relatives, because your parents (and in-laws) will also invite distant relatives, and THEIR friends, colleagues, business associates, partners, etc.

(It’s common too for invited guests to bring their kids, grandkids and nannies along)

Weddings will most likely be a ‘standing party’ where the buffet spread is found at different corners of the wedding hall.

And so in the end, you get to see at least 500 people coming to your (fancy) wedding dinner! AND it’s rather ‘normal’ too if you personally knows only 20% of the wedding guests there!

Anyway.

We don’t get to go to THAT many weddings here in Singapore. The way weddings are organised here is different compared to that in Indonesia.

And so it was nice when I get to see Anya and Vai get all dressed up and ready for our friends’ wedding last Saturday. Heh.

Anya in particular is very happy to ‘officially’ wear her pettiskirt out for the first time!

Here in Singapore, schools celebrate ‘Racial Harmony Day’ every July 21st (tomorrow!), to remember the day (in 1964) when Singapore saw terrible racial riots.

It’s ‘a day for schools to reflect on, and celebrate our success as a harmonious nation and society built on a rich diversity of cultures and heritages‘ (extracted from Ministry of Education’s website).

Students are then encouraged to come dressed in traditional costumes (like, cheongsam), and they’d get to play traditional games, etc.

Having lived in Singapore for more than 10 years, I personally feel the government here does try their best in encouraging and nurturing a racially harmonious society.

But in the end, I think families – and the kinds of values we parents believe in and subsequently instill in our children – play a much greater role.

Especially when we all know how kids ‘read’ our lives, and they observe and absorb whatever attitudes and views we have towards other people of different races.

Be it good, or bad.

…

[Photo]
Anya wore her cheongsam last year, and she INSISTED on wearing her ‘Baju Kurung’ (traditional malay costume) this year. And THAT was despite me telling her how it’s getting ‘too small’ for her and how she might not feel comfortable playing games, sitting on her classroom floor etc in it.

Ah. Girls.

Kids have wants. And the reality is, they don’t always get them, because perhaps what they ask for and want is harmful, unnecessary, or is simply not good for them. There could be plenty more good reasons why we parents can’t give what our kids ask and demand.

And upon their ‘display of displeasure’ (for not getting what they want), I’d usually say to my two little ones …

There’s always a reason why you don’t get what you want. And you may not understand it just yet. But know this, we love you so very much, and if it’s something good that you need, we will surely give it to you. Even without you asking for it.

But if it’s not good for you, even if you cry your heart out, we still can’t and won’t give it to you.

And it’s because we love you. Very much.

…

You know, as I emphasise these values to my kids so that (through time) they learn to believe in us and our decisions on whether they can or can’t get something, I am so reminded of the fact that I’m totally no different to them.

I am just like my own kids in the eyes of God, the Creator who loves us so much, who knows what’s best for us and gives us what we need, and not necessarily what we want.

Because what we ‘want’, though seemingly necessary and needed BY US, it may not the best FOR US.

And God knows that, and HE knows what’s best to give us, and when.

…

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:9-11

What a nice surprise!

I went in to Singapore Blog Awards’ page and saw that the interview post on Our Everyday Things was up!

* Thanks omy.sg *

[all bloggers who’re finalists in the Singapore Blog Awards were interviewed last month, but we all have no idea when the Omy.sg people will post them up]

Anyway.

Here’s a warm welcome and a little intro to my site for those who are new to my blog :

I take photos nearly everyday, and I prefer to shoot with people in them, to capture moments that will never repeat itself.

I’m a full-time mom who works from home, and since I spend my hours and days with my family, my two little people naturally become the treasured objects of my photography.

I shoot and I write about things that I’m passionate about, things that inspire me, things that I hope will inspire others. From parenting tips, activity ideas for kids, inspirational thoughts, to all sorts of ups and downs I go through every day as a parent.

And through photography, I hope to share with the world how wonderful life with children can be.

…

You can read more about me HERE, and about the cameras I use HERE.

You can also subscribe to my RSS feed, or leave a comment and say hi!

Oh just one thing though, if you’re using Internet Explorer 6 and Win XP, for some reasons my top banner won’t appear!

(and if you know how to fix this, oh please please do drop me an email! Errr … that’s AFTER you go and vote for me, yes? Hehe)

Please do have a look around!

Enjoy.