Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Do you realise that there are several factors that influence/shape our characters? (ie. the kinds of unique personalities that each of us has)

One of it is, our environment.

Does your child live with a habit of ‘ordering or telling people what to do’? (which unconsciously can be created when one has a helper at home)
Some parents don’t regard it as important. But there are parents who are particular about the kind of friends their children have, the kind of estate they live in and the kind of school they go to.

Basically, the kind of ENVIRONMENT that their children live in everyday.

Here are a few things that I personally learned today that I’d like to share with you [we all went to our church’s retreat and were greatly blessed by Rev. DR. Stephen Tong’s sermons]

Our children should (must) not be good friends with ‘bad friends’ (read : people who won’t be of good nor positive influence).  Because peers will influence the child and his character.

And as parents we should ACTIVELY seek or create a constructive environment for our children.

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Mencius’ mother moved their house three times, from beside a cemetery to beside a marketplace, to FINALLY beside a schoolIt was widely known that Mencius, a famous Chinese philosopher, has a mother who’s well aware of the great effect one’s environment has on one’s characters.

In the traditional Chinese idiom, there’s this saying, ‘mèng mǔ sān qiān’, which literally means, ‘Mencius’ Mother, Three Moves’

And it actually refers to the legend that Mencius’ mother moved their house three times, from beside a cemetery to beside a marketplace, to FINALLY beside a school.

She decided that having a home beside a school would be the most suitable location for Mencius’ upbringing. And Mencius later did learn from the scholars, their love for knowledge and he imitated them greatly.

This traditional Chinese idiom basically refers to the importance of a proper environment for the proper upbringing of children.

Mencius’ mother understood of this concept, and she dared to actively search for a suitable environment that would greatly shape her son’s characters.

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“Bad company corrupts good character.”
Does your child live with a habit of ‘ordering or telling people what to do’? (which unconsciously can be created when one has a helper at home)

Does your child go to a school where many of her peers are super smart and that the fact that she’s not ‘as smart as them’ (after giving her personal best) makes her feel inferior about herself and her capability?

Are our child’s school friends mostly wealthy and she gets ridiculed by friends for not having a Mercedes Benz or a BMW?

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Our children need to be grown-ups who strive to help, serve and continually be a blessing to others.

And as parents we can contribute to the shaping of their characters.

By actively doing something and making a positive change, today.

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Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

If you live in Singapore, you will see how Singapore REALLY celebrates its National Day every year.

The display of Singapore flags everywhere, even in the housing areas. Posters. National Day songs. And, of course the National Day Parade (NDP).

Even before the actual day (August 9th), everyone can catch a glimpse of its rehearsals for free every Saturday evening starting from sometime in July! Complete with its loud fireworks displays too!

And both kids have been part of the crowds regularly on one of those saturdays since Vai was close to turning one in 2007.

This year, I watched it … TWICE.

The first time was when Wilson and I were on the Singapore Flyer some two weeks ago (but I guess we mostly watched the fireworks part there, not quite ‘everything’).

And the second time was last week, when I brought the kids to watch it by the Singapore River near the Esplanade.

You see, Wilson had some friendly tennis matches that evening and frankly, I was actually very reluctant to go all the way to the Esplanade with the kids WITHOUT him coming along. I was feeling tired too that day, and I would much prefer to just stay at home.

Ah but I know the kids really wanted to go, AND since our friends happened to go as well, the three of us headed for the Singapore River together with them by bus and train.

And armed with only my Canon Ixus, we got ourselves squeezed amongst the crowds, and watched this year’s NDP, right till the end.

And here are some captured moments I’d like to share with you.

Enjoy!

Oh my.

The youngest one in our home is no longer a baby.

And to think that Vai will be three years old in two weeks time makes me miss those baby days.

[I know I’ve been asked about this a lot, and the answer is, no there are no plans for a third one. Heh.]

Anyway, here are a few quick updates on our little guy :

Language

He talks a lot. In Indonesian and in complete sentences.

He uses a lot of Indonesian slangs too (words like, ‘deh’, ‘loh’, ‘ah’, ‘dong’). Some words are not yet clearly pronounced though (and somehow I’m totally fine with this phase, because pretty soon, those babyish words will be gone and deeply missed by me!)

Character

He’s very cheeky and animated. He can suddenly make silly moves and pull his face while we’re in a supermarket. He can sit on a bus, turn around, look at the stranger sitting behind him, and make funny faces towards him!

He can be shy too, blush and hide behind my arms when he’s sitting quietly and a stranger looks at him and smiles.

Sleep

In the past two weeks or so, it’s been (more) difficult to get him to settle down and sleep (in the afternoon and at night)

He’d play with his sister. Or if his sister is trying to sleep, he’d do all sorts of silly stuff to annoy her.

And sometimes, he’d slowly come out of the bedroom with different excuses.

I want to pee.
Daddy, can you please check if I’ve pooped in my diapers?
I need a drink (and the water bottle is already in the bedroom!)
Mommy, I can’t find my yellow car.
Daddy, I want my fireman hat and I can’t find it anywhere.

Usually, he’d fall asleep by himself within 30 mins to an hour (from the time we first leave the bedroom)

Challenging Behaviours

Vai is quite a ‘happy-go-lucky’ kind of guy, who has strong characters and temperaments as well.

For example, in the past two weeks or so, when he asks for something (eg. can I have some MORE sweets?) and doesn’t get it, he can show his displeasure by slapping (though not too hard) the wall, the bed, the table or whatever that’s near him. And he does it while looking straight at me!

[He went through this phase when he was about one year old. And I think he sort of came up with it himself because we ourselves don’t do that]

And when he actually does it, I’d stop, look at him in the eye, take him to a separate corner by the hand, and sternly tell him that what he does is disrespectful, how God has given him hands to do good things (like eating, helping others, patting his sister on her back), and not for things like slapping or hurting others, how I love him and that’s why I can’t give what he asks, and that I’m not happy with his behaviour.

If his behaviour continues, I’d take him to a corner, tell him to stay put, and I’d leave. Usually when I return in 1-2 mins, I talk to him about what’s happened and he’d say sorry (usually only after I say, ‘and do you have something to say?)

Recently, if I talk to him and he’s not happy with what I say, he’d raise his hand, but stop in mid air.

And most of the time it’s because I’d stop talking (upon seeing his raised hand), look at him seriously in the eye, and ask, ‘Yes? *long pause*. And if he doesn’t put his hand down, I’d say something like, ‘I can’t talk to you yet if you choose to be disrespectful. I’d be outside until you can.’ And if he still chooses to act as if he’s about to slap the wall, I’d give him another serious look, turn my back and leave.

I’d return in 1-2 mins and ask if he can now be respectful, and very most likely he’d then say, ‘Yes’.

Now that it’s been two weeks since I first implemented this approach, I’m glad to say that it’s been much better.

Milk

He now drinks about 3 – 4 times a day (220 – 240 ml each time).

And the good news is, for the past 2 months or so, he happily drinks his milk straight from a glass, all by himself. And in general he’d finish it all up in less than 3 minutes! *mom so happy*

[What a contrast to how super difficult it was to get him to drink milk when he’s much younger!]

Height and Weight

He’s 17kg last month. And is about 100cm.

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There are lots of ups and downs when it comes to our little Vai.

He’s funny and silly, but he also is the one who gives us ‘more headaches’ (like when he went INSIDE our wardrobe, SAT on the wooden shelf and it all collapsed!)

But we love him as he is. With all his unique characters and temperaments.

And now that he’s bigger, asks more questions and observes (and absorbs) his surroundings more, I know we both need to be even more aware of how we teach and interact with him day to day.

We want him to grow up and be a man who gives his personal best in everything he does, who is not afraid to do something new and different, who continues to explore his talents and potentials so that his life can be a blessing to others and bring glory to God, his Creator and Saviour.

And with all that in mind, we know we need to always rely on God to give us the needed perseverance, strength and wisdom to be the kind of parents God wants us to be for both our little ones.

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[Photos]

All photos (except for the ‘milk drinking’ and ‘nose picking’ shots) were taken by Daddy, who’s testing out his creative lighting photography.

Someone once said to me, ‘You love taking photos of kids, perhaps you should go out there and take photos of other family’s kids too!’

I didn’t think about it much until recently when that thought crossed my mind.

It was like, ‘Why not?’

I mean, kids photography has been a passion of mine. And I truly love capturing moments, especially those of little ones who grow up SO very fast.

And so if I can share my passion for photography, extend it to others and capture OTHER families’ moments … moments they’d treasure for years and years to come, why not?

So, here’s the news : I’m accepting outdoor photo shoot for other families, everyone! 

[I plan to dedicate certain days (and hours) of the week for these outdoor photo shoots]

And psstt, I’m offering a promo package for blog readers and their friends! 

If you’d like to find out more, just drop me an email at leonny[at]oureverydaythings[dot]com ya!

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[Photos]
Some shots I took last week!

First of all, if you’ve spared a moment or two to vote for my blog under the ‘Best Photography Blog’ category, here’s a HUGE THANKS from me!

And now that voting by the public ended on July 31st, some people has personally asked me, ‘So what’s happening next? Have you won?’

Well, the results are not out yet.

And basically this is what I know.

Voting by the public makes up 30% of the total score. And now, it’s all up to the panel of judges who will decide the winners for each of the 10 categories.

The winners will be announced at the Singapore Blog Awards Presentation Ceremony. And right now, the organiser has yet to release the date of that ceremony to us and everyone. It should be sometime in August (or latest in September, I think).

So now … I’m still waiting.

And I’m SO curious about the results!

At our home, we encourage the kids to imagine and create stories. It was something we started last year, when Anya and I made a little forest as part of our arts and crafts sessions, and a whole lot of underwater sea creatures!

I wanted to stimulate their imagination. To imagine a storyline, and to actually say what they have in mind.

And ever since Vai created his own shark and diver story, we’ve sort of ADDED more and more animals to their bedroom walls.

We have underwater creatures on one wall, and land animals on another (like, a tapir, an elephant, a mouse, a cat, a crocodile, etc).

[Note: They’d choose an animal from a picture book, I’d draw the animal, they’d then watercolour it and finally I’d outline it with black-coloured crayon and cut it out]

And to make it easier for the kids to take the animals off the wall and stick them back on during their storytelling session, I use sticky tapes (and when it’s no longer sticky, I replace the tape with new ones).

So now, I can sit on their bed while listening to the kids going, ‘Once upon a time … ‘ and go from one wall to another with different creatures in their hands.

Mommy relaxes. And kids talk.

It’s good.

Today’s commercialism may create and push the idea that kids NEED toys in order to be  … happy.

To a certain extend, I must say I’d disagree though.

Yes, little ones would be over the moon if they could get their hands on particular toys they really like.

But, sometimes we parents may forget that there are sooo many other ways of keeping the kids happy, that doesn’t involve toys.

Like, when we play chase with them.

The ‘I’m going to come and get you!!’ game never fails to get the biggest grins and giggles from the kids.

[The big question is, are we adults willing to let our hair down, exaggerate our movements, duck, dodge and run?]

As for Vai, one of the simple things that keep him happy is … climbing.

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What other toy-free activities can you think of? Please do share. I’d love to hear from you!

I went on a DINNER DATE last Saturday!

Yes, a DINNER DATE.

[Being a parent of two small children with no maids nor relatives living in the same country who can occasionally help and babysit the kids, I regard such simple outing as ‘precious’, especially since I think the last time we had one was when I was pregnant with my first child!]

And so, when I received a media invite from Asia PR Werkz to check out the World’s First Full Butler sky dining on the Singapore Flyer (THANKS Julie!), I was doubly excited when I actually found friends who could babysit the kids (THANKS Kwik family!)

And, here’s how our Saturday night out went.

The traffic towards the Singapore Flyer was super slow as there were thousands of other people heading towards the same direction – for the National Day Parade’s full dress rehearsal.

But we managed to reach the Singapore Flyer’s VIP Lounge, and were warmly welcomed by the hosts and staff. We sat back and chatted with the other fellow diners (bloggers themselves too) until it was time to board.

The first time we hopped onto the Singapore Flyer was in the afternoon and to be inside the capsule AT NIGHT TIME … it was a totally different experience.

I mean, the 360-degree view of the city was really REALLY nice!

And other than the stunning night view and the long table immaculately set up for all ten of us, I loved every single dish they served too.

I especially liked their welcome drink (Fresh Summer Berries in Ginger Ale) and my choice of main dish – sea bass with X.O. sauce.

(Err … I tried Wilson’s roasted duck, but I liked mine better, … slightly crispy on the outside and tenderly juicy in the inside. Yummm.)

I was quite curious about how they’d prepare and serve our orders. Because basically there were two options to choose from and I didn’t think they would keep our food inside the capsule.

And soon enough I found out that after one rotation, the door opened and our food came, nice and warm, and the butler finished serving everyone just in time before our capsule left the platform and went for the second rotation.

Nice!

And for the next thirty minutes, – we chatted away, relaxed, enjoyed our meals and the night view! [and Wilson took most of the photos that night]

And do you know what else made our dining experience super special that day?

The National Day Parade’s Fireworks!

We caught the action right when we’re at the peak of the Flyer!

And at 165m above the ground, the view was … awesome!

All in all we spent about an hour inside the capsule and we all went back to the VIP Lounge to have our dessert, a cup of hot tea and a good chat. It was all good.

[Chocolate  Souffle]
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Although it wasn’t a dinner-for-two kind of arrangement that night, I still enjoyed myself.

It really was a refreshing change to our daily routine.

[Something busy parents need to do for themselves once in a while, I reckon]

I mean, we’re so used to being ‘parents’ with kids in tow all the time that it just felt nice (and seemingly ‘necessary’) to go out and simply be a ‘couple’ (read : normal adults capable of conversation topics other than parenting ones, hehe)

And to have that ‘couple time-off’ fine dining away on the Singapore Flyer … it was all too good.
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[additional info]

– Currently they’re having a special introductory price of S$199++ per COUPLE until 31 July. Usual price: S$299++

[The promo might be ‘extended’, and so I’d suggest that you give them a call to check it out]

– Each capsule accommodates a maximum of five tables (but IF you happen to be the only couple dining in a particular capsule, you’d have the butler and the whole place all to yourself!)

– You’d need to book at least one day in advance and choose between two available dinner schedules : 7.30pm and 8.30pm

– They have special packages for the upcoming National Day Parade in August and the F1 Race in September!

– Click HERE for more info!