Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Last weekend was a particularly busy one for me.

Hubby’s out of town for work and I had an outdoor family shoot, a birthday party, a corporate event … to name a few.

Glad that everything went well!

[a HUGE thanks to our friend, Juita, who despite having her own THREE kids happily helped in looking after Anya and Vai while I had to go and work!]

Anyway, here’re two shots of the kids which I thought of posting today.

Have a great week, everyone!

…

How’s your weekend?

Starting some two weeks ago, our 3-year-old little guy has somewhat become … much much more ‘assertive’.

Actually, to a point where it’s not making sense at all.

He’d ignore our requests and seemingly ‘turn off’ his hearing abilities. And every single day I’d hear him scream and cry.

Repeating my requests nicely, or firmly, doesn’t quite help. Not repeating my requests and giving him a consequence or a disciplinary action after requesting for something twice, also doesn’t work.

Every single day I’d face a screaming toddler because he’d ignore what I say, and when it’s time for us to move on (eg. we’re about to step out of the house), I’d then see him screaming and running towards me, asking me to ‘help’ him do what he’s been refusing to do for the past 30 mins!

It’d be like:

Mommy: Vai, please take off your clothes and have a shower. We’re going out soon …

Vai: (continues to play with his toy cars at the side of my bed)

Mommy: Vai … Take off your clothes please. We’re going out.

Vai: (continues to play and acts as if he doesn’t hear anything)

Mommy: Levi! Did you hear what I just said? We’re going out soon. You need to take your shower now!

Vai: (continues to play, and doesn’t even look up)

Mommy: Okay then, we’re going out, and you’ll just wear what you’re wearing right now … (turn and walk towards the bathroom)

Vai: MAH-MMYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Mommy: (turn to look at him and give him an unhappy look) Is it right to talk in that kind of tone?

Vai: MAH-MEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Mommy: If you scream like that, you know I can’t talk to you yet… (turn back and casually walk towards the bathroom)

Vai: MAAAAAHHHH-MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! MAAAAAAHHH-MEEEEEE!!!!!!

…

Oh my.

Such episodes take place every day. And when I plan to go out or do something at 7pm, it can usually be dragged for another hour, because I need to handle his screaming and crying first.

I guess he’s entered his ‘Terrible Three’ stage where he wants to assert his wants, doesn’t like it when someone does (or doesn’t do) something for him, and demands his opinion to be heard and followed by everyone else.

Thank God he’s been ‘better’ these past two days.

Because really, I’m getting worn out.

(After spending the whole day dealing with a toddler who ignores me and refuses to listen to anything I say, I end up talking to my husband at night in the same ‘can-you-listen-to-me!- tone. Unconsciously!)

Anyway.

I try to see the whole thing in a different perspective.

I try to understand that my son is growing up, emotionally.

How he’s trying to assert his independence, and do things to see if he has ‘enough power’ to get what he wants.

I try to see how he’s a sinner too, just like me.

I try to remember that if I scream and yell at him, I’m teaching him exactly what I’m telling him NOT to do.

So.

Did I allow it every time he yell or talk in an impolite tone of voice? Nope.

Did I feel emotionally tired? Yes.

Did I raise my voice at him? Yes.

And has it been easy? Nope.

One thing I know is that such ‘terrible three’ phase doesn’t last ‘forever’. I can see how he IS better these past couple of days.

So yep, … I’m surviving.

Phew.

…

Did you go through such episodes with your little ones yourself?
How was it? How old were they ? I’d love to hear your stories on this.

The other day as we flipped through our local bulletin, Anya spotted something and suddenly said to me, ‘Mommy! Look! That’s my school bus aunty!’

(note: on Anya’s school bus, other than the bus driver, there’s always a lady who will accompany and ‘watch over’ the kids)

And this was how our conversation went:

Mommy: Oh wow! Look, she’s just won an important Award!’

Anya: What’s an award?

Mommy: It’s something you get when you’ve done something really well, like when Daddy got a trophy after winning a tennis tournament, or when a policeman gets an Award after bravely helping others.’

Anya then thought to herself for a while and said to me:

Anya: Mommy, why then did she win an Award?

Mommy: What do you mean?

Anya: Because the other day while we’re on our way to school, she scolded the boys and she yelled to them, ‘STUPID!!’. I then asked her, ‘Why do you say such words?’, and she replied, ‘I don’t care! I don’t care!!’

[Note: We teach and emphasise to both Anya and Vai how words like ‘stupid’ are not to be used inappropriately, and I guess that’s why she’s ‘more sensitive’ when someone else utters THE word]

Anya then continued:

Anya: Mommy, … she’s an adult and she should know that saying such words is not good, right? She won an award but why did she scream out, ‘STUPID!!’ to the kids?

…

I shared this incident over on my Facebook status and quite a lot of people contributed their thoughts and comments on this.

And so I thought of sharing it here as well.

Now the (sad) reality is, awards are given to one’s contribution and achievements. But one’s achievements may not necessarily be ‘connected’ to his or her day-to-day behaviours and attitudes.

A policeman who’s just won a prestigious award for being heroic may come home and scream out swear words to his teenage son for not getting an ‘A’ in his test.

A top CEO who manages his staff well at work may be someone who abuses his wife in front of his little children.

A Professor in Sociology may be someone who’s indifferent towards the society in which he lives.

And children?

Well, children are children, and they observe everything that happens around them.

The words they hear. The actions they see. The incidents that take place day to day.

Children hear. Children watch. And yes, children judge.

…

Let’s hope our children and those little ones who see us living our day to day are influenced positively by us.

By our words. And actions.

It’s a tough challenge for us adults indeed.

Which is why I know I personally must learn to continually self-reflect, be sensitive towards everything I do and say, and ask God for extra wisdom and strength.

For we’re all VERY VERY far from perfect ourselves.

Here’s one GREAT NEWS for everyone!!

I hope to make room for fresh new stock at Spring Kids and so I’m offering Mega Clearance Sale Prices right now!

Like, up to 55% OFF!

You’ve got to hurry though as the items are sold on a first come first serve basis, while stock lasts.

Here’s how our Spring Kids’ Clearance Sale works:

1) Simply order four or more items, and you’ll enjoy the stated SALE prices

2) For orders of three items or less, you’ll enjoy 20% OFF the items’ full prices
(not applicable to organic items by Un Petit Peu)

And here are some of items on sale:

Japanese imported items, starts from $6

Pumpkin Patch tops, from $9

Carter’s and Mothercare Shoes are all just $10 / pair

Ah Goo Baby Plush Pads @ $42 (Usual Price $64)

And many more …

…

It’s a great way to SAVE (especially for those end-of-the-year gifts!), so do grab these items for your little ones, for your friends’ newborn babies, kids’ birthdays, etc!

Hop over to Spring Kids now to enjoy these deals!

http://www.springkids.com/

Please help and spread the news to your friends and families too yeah …

Thanks everyone!

[Please vote for Our Everyday Things in the I’m a Mom online contest! Click HERE to cast your vote. THANKS guys! And oh btw, comments are closed for this post yeah …]
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[Anya at 8 weeks and Vai at 11 weeks]

Someone once told me that my two kids are blessed with ‘stronger body immune system’, because they were delivered naturally and that they were exclusively breastfed for the first 5.5 months.

[Anya was breastfed till she was 13.5months, and Vai was breastfed till he was 22 months]

Now, I have no idea if it really is true … you know, whether a child who’s delivered naturally has ‘better’ body immune system.

All I know for sure is that if a Mom is able to breastfeed a baby, then she really should give it a go as best as she could because breastfeeding really helps in building a stronger immune system.

It’s a natural way of protecting our own kids from young.

[Found this cool huge ‘tube’, but Vai wasn’t that excited about it apparently)

The thing is, as kids grow, they are naturally more mobile and are exposed to all sorts of germs and bacteria. As they play with other kids who’re down with cough or runny nose, the chance of them catching the bugs themselves are higher too.

Having said that (and as much as I’d like to protect my kids from falling sick), I’d say I most likely won’t stop my kids from mingling with other kids who may not feel too well though.

[Vai – sitting at the back, far left – with his church friends]

I mean, I won’t expose them to bugs on purpose (of course!), but if for example, we’re going out together with friends and their kids, and say, some of the kids are down with blocked / runny nose, then of course I won’t stop my kids from playing with them as well.

[I’m talking about general situations where kids would play ‘normally’, and NOT touching each others’ runny noses and putting their fingers into their mouth ya …  *smile*]

As kids grow, ESPECIALLY when they’ve started school, I think exposure to such situations (ie. friends who’re not well) is simply inevitable.

And that’s where I think we parents need to somehow find different ways to help boost our kids’ natural defences.

Anyway.

[Trying out some ‘self-defence’ moves, heh]

After doing a bit of reading on the net (and based on what I’d do myself for my two kids), I thought of sharing with you these FIVE tips that will help in boosting our kids’ immune system.

1. Encourage our kids to be physically active

I read that when a child is physically active, such exercises can increase the production of bacteria-fighting cells and help immune cells circulate through the body faster!

Playing outdoors, participating in sports, going for walks and activities like bike riding are all fun ways for kids to get the exercise they need to boost their immune systems.

2. Get enough rest and sleep

Our kids need to rest (though I totally know how a lot of them sure don’t seem to want to rest or nap!)

Preschoolers, like Anya, should theoretically get between 11 and 13 hours of sleep each day.

And keeping a regular bedtime routine sure would help our kids get a good night’s rest.

3. Let them have a balanced diet

Fresh fruits and vegetables help a lot. Getting a regular dose of vitamin C and milk intake helps too.

Click HERE to read more.

[Err … Vai’s messy plate filled with plain rice, char kway teow, one boiled egg, baked beans and green beans. And oh, and a glass of guava juice]

4. Reduce the amount of stress

I guess this is more applicable to kids in Singapore (a few other countries in Asia) where academic expectations can be rather pressurising.

Experts say that prolonged stress in kids can suppress their immune systems, but plenty of rest, exercise and most importantly tender loving care from their loved ones will do just the opposite.

5. Encourage good habits, like washing their hands before and after mealtime

I know of many parents who’re very particular when it comes to their kids’ general cleanliness. They’d apply wet wipes and sanitising gels onto their kids’ hands countless times throughout the day.

While I think it’s completely fine for parents to implement what they think works best for their family, I admit I’m not quite like that (I wrote a little post on this four years ago, click HERE to read it).

I do keep my kids’ general cleanliness (and I agree with point no. 5 here), but I know both Wilson and I are not THAT ‘strict’.

(read: we believe that when our kids are kept ‘super extra clean’ and are hardly ever exposed to anything ‘dirty’, they’ll get ’sick’ easier, hehe. ANYWAY, I should probably write another post on that topic)

Anyway.

I do realise though that we so often take for granted and forget to thank God for our (and our kids’) good health. We somehow have this natural tendency to treasure our health when we’ve fallen sick.

And so I hope this post will remind everyone (including MYSELF) that while we do our part in boosting our family’s health and body immune system, we should also pray for them and be thankful always for God’s ever-faithful care.

Because really, HE knows what’s best for us. And for our little ones.

Hi everyone,

Here’s a little update for the Asia Pacific Blog Awards.

Voting by the public ends today, and I’d like extend a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who has been voting for me all this while!

THANK YOU!

Now, as I have frequently shared, this blog is not just about stories of my family.

Because through this blog and its content, I really hope and aim to spread positive family messages.

To reach out and somehow inspire and create a positive influence to the society.

To share what I’ve personally gone through (the ups and downs) and learned as a parent.

To show the world how life AND life with children can indeed be beautiful.

Which is why I’m SO pleasantly surprised and over the moon when Nuffnang first told me that Our Everyday Things has been selected as one of the top five blogs shortlisted under ‘Best Parenting Blog’ category!

Because to me personally, it means my site has been given a chance to reach out further.

So, with this I’d like to personally thank Nuffnang for recognising my site, the main sponsors – Pringles and the Singapore Tourism Board – and again ALL OF YOU who’s been supporting Our Everyday Things.

I can’t thank you enough!

…

The Blog Awards will be held next Friday, on October 23rd at the Pan Pacific Hotel.

And I’m so looking forward to meeting hundreds of other bloggers. Including the other four mommy bloggers under the Best Parenting Blog category (who are all from countries OTHER than Singapore, ie. Malaysia, the Philippines and Australia!)

And according to Nuffnang, after the Blog Awards Nite is over, the following days will be filled with ‘action packed itinerary of Uniquely Singapore experiences where numerous surprises will be in store!’

Can’t wait!

Because although I do live here in Singapore, I’m sure there’s still SOOO much more to discover!

… interestingly, I find, they’d most likely be more determined and excited about what they’re supposed to do.

And in this case, … finishing up their milk *smile*

As for the spills, well … I guess that’s when we parents need to ‘close one eye’ and simply place a box of tissues next to them.

After all, isn’t mistakes part and parcel of learning about anything?

…

PS: To expose the kids to different tastes, I try to vary the kinds of milk Anya and Vai drink. From fresh milk, milk powder to UHT milk.

The fact that we live in Singapore while our other family members live in Indonesia and everywhere else around the world means that we (sadly) don’t get to enjoy family gatherings that often.

Last month was a great month for both Anya and Vai though, as my parents AND Wilson’s parents took turns in visiting us here in Singapore for a few days *thanks to the traditionally long Hari Raya holiday break in Indonesia*

Personally, I think it’s important that our kids get to spend (more) time with other family members as well.

Grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Cousins.

Because as they spend time with each other, these little ones get to see themselves as being an important part of a much bigger picture.

And THAT I believe, will sure help in the development of a stronger sense of identity in them too.