Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

[Sitting on a ‘becak’ in Jakarta. Shot by Daddy]

Likes to make people laugh.

Likes to put his hand into his mouth.

Likes to play with the water tap (and drives Mommy mad!)

Likes to wiggle while eating (and drops food pieces below his chair!)

Likes to use his hands than a spoon when eating.

Likes to eat sweets (but unfortunately is given a ‘daily quota’ of just two by Mommy)

Likes to go into our bedroom in the middle of the night and sleep next to Mommy.

Likes to skip and hop, rather than do a ‘normal walk’.

Likes to test Mommy’s, Daddy’s and big sister’s patience.

Likes to simply be, silly.

Height: 110 cm

Weight: 19 kg

…

Despite the many headaches he often gives to Mommy and Daddy, we love him oh so greatly.

Life’s sure been colourful with this little guy around.

He teaches us things about life, about being patient, about the need to always rely upon God’s strength and wisdom in bringing up our children in the family.

And we pray for him always, and thank God endlessly for entrusting him in our lives.

Busyness.

It seems to be the ‘situation’ everyone faces today. Even amongst married couples.

But. It IS the reality, isn’t it?

We’re all busy with something, every day. And during most of our ‘waking hours’.

With kids. With work. With chores. With the internet. With our mobile phones. With everything.

Scary. But true.

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I came across this article about ‘Making time for the one you love’ on Focus on the Family Canada website.

And I’d like to share some parts of it with you today.

Hope it’ll refresh your relationship with one another.

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Busyness seems to be a symptom of our society. It’s almost a badge of honour. We rush from activity to activity saying, “I’m so busy.” We even feel guilty if we don’t have something to do every moment.

Perhaps it’s your job. Or maybe you’ve taken on too many volunteering responsibilities. Somewhere along the line, you took on more than you can handle.

We hear from couples who work full-time, go to school, raise kids and volunteer at charities, and then wonder why their marriages are having difficulties. So many couples aren’t making their marriages a top priority; everything else seems more important – careers, kids, hobbies and volunteer work.

Assessing your priorities

We live with the lie that we can have it all, do it all and deserve it all. Many couples are so busy they don’t take time to nurture the foundation of their family – their relationship with each other. When that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.

Here are some of the warning signs busyness is taking a toll on your marriage:

•   You think you have to choose between your spouse and your kids.

•   Your lives are fragmented; you spend more time running around doing things than spending quality time together.

•   When you’re together you both tend to be in your own little world.

•   You both find yourselves easily irritated over small annoyances.

•   Disagreements and misunderstandings between the two of you increase.

•   Several months pass before you realise the two of you haven’t had a date or planned alone-time together.

…

If you see some or all of these warning signs popping up in your life – stop and take notice! Your time with your spouse is too important to the security of your marriage to neglect. It’s more important than the time you spend at work or even with your kids. Remember this – time you set aside to spend with your spouse isn’t time you don’t have.

Make your time count

Couples need to get away alone to talk, laugh and have fun together; that’s when true connection takes place. We need to learn more about each other, our past and our dreams for the future. We need to feel at ease with each other as we face new challenges together.

If you and your spouse are both working or going to school full-time it can be incredibly tough to find time to spend together. If you have the option, don’t have regrets over your family. You get only one chance with them. Perhaps putting off school for a season or cutting back on work hours will give you the time and energy you need for each other and for your family.

Sometimes having one of you quit work or cut back on hours isn’t possible because that second income is needed or that degree is one semester away; cutting back may end up causing more stress instead. In cases like this, you need to make a concerted effort to have at least a few minutes a day just for you and your spouse. This makes your marriage a priority and gives it the preventive maintenance it needs.

The reality is that there may be time for some of those other activities in other phase or season of your life – you can still go to school later, but the window of opportunity for keeping your marriage strong may not remain open indefinitely.

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[Fun ATV ride along Anyer Beach, during our recent trip to Indonesia]

Things may have not always been smooth and easy between me and Wilson.

We sure have disagreements and occasional quarrels. We both are busy with our many responsibilities and chores too.

But there’s one thing I notice and am very thankful to God for: we both realise how important nurturing and refreshing our relationship with each other AND with God (as the Lord of our family) is.

Once in a while, we try and schedule movie dates (ie. when both kids are at school). We watch DVDs together when the kids are in bed. We sometimes chat till the wee hours.

We keep in touch throughout the day. We encourage each other to read books. We communicate when we have disagreements. We support each other’s church ministries. We go to church seminars and classes. We pray together.

Yes, we have weaknesses. We have emotional moments. We have many differences. And we are definitely far from perfect. But I guess THOSE are the things that make us work on our marriage.

Anyway. I’m thankful to God for the ups and downs we’ve gone through in the past nine years.

And I look forward to more adventures in the years ahead.

…

To hubby: Happy Nineth Anniversary! Love you!

[added]
Thank you SO much to those who’ve left messages, congrats notes and wishes on my Facebook! Really appreciate every single one of them! Thank you.

Some two weeks ago I wrote a post on Breastfeeding, its benefits and how there’ll be an insightful event coming up real soon that you can attend, for FREE!

Well. I may not be breastfeeding my kids anymore, but I believed (and still do!) in the benefits of breastfeeding.

[I breastfed my eldest for 13.5 months, and my youngest for 22.5 months]

I also believe that when we are more informed about it (through sharing, reading and listening to experts), that extra understanding will help and encourage us when we are faced with tough situations during our breastfeeding journey.

Because realistically, I must say, the journey itself is not always smooth sailing.

So, with that in mind, I’d like to highlight this upcoming Anmum^TM Breastfeeding Forum!

Here are more details of the event:

Date: Saturday, 31 July 2010

Venue: Amara Hotel (next to Tanjong Pagar MRT)

Time:
12pm – 1pm : Registration
1pm – 5pm: Public Forum and Live Fashion Show

Registration: FREE of charge!

Simply go to their site http://www.anmum-mum.com.sg to register (Limited seats available!)

…

Now you see, I’d personally recommend that you attend and benefit from this upcoming Forum because I myself have learned from two of the three speakers at the Forum: Mrs Wong Boh Boi and Dr Ang Poon Liat.

Anya and Vai were born at Thomson Medical Centre (TMC), and both Wilson and I really learned a lot from Mrs Wong Boh Boi who was the Senior Consultant at TMC’s Parentcraft.

[My positive attitude towards breastfeeding and caring for a newborn baby was greatly influenced by Mrs Wong Boh Boi’s talk]

Both Anya and Vai, who were down with jaundice after they’re born, also had Dr Ang Poon Liat as their Paediatrician for a while.

Btw, here are two useful links I’d like to share with you:
– ‘Questions New Moms Ask on Breastfeeding‘
– Confinement Recipes

…

Anyway, as a quick reference, here’re the topics that will be covered that day:

– Body, Mind and Soul for breastfeeding – Daddy included

– Live Demonstration of Young Family Workout – For Baby, Mummy & Daddy

– Nutrition & Getting Back to Shape during Breastfeeding

– Breaking the Myths, Overcoming with Truths – Post-Delivery Care and Breastfeeding

…

Click HERE to read more details and to register!

Not to be missed.

During our recent trip to Jakarta, we checked out Anyer with Wilson’s family (some two hours drive away from Jakarta).

The three-room cottage we stayed in was plain and simple, but it was a minute walk away from the beach.

And the kids LOVED it.

They played with the sand. They jumped over the waves. They rolled everywhere.

I’m not surprised if they’ve probably swallowed some of the sea water too!

The short getaway from city life, heavy traffic and daily routine was just, nice.

…

[Info]

– ATV is available for rent along the beach. We enjoyed a good drive from one end to another ourselves for just Rp.50,000 (30 mins). And that’s S$7.80!

– You’d find beach-side stalls selling drinks and simple snacks there too.

– Go for a massage while you’re there, I’d say! We did, and it was good and relaxing! Massage ladies usually hang around the beach offering their services (usually women in their 40s-50s) and they only charged us Rp.30,000 per hour! (S$4.60)

Many people, especially those in developed countries like Singapore, believe that children learn best when they’re sent to top schools and renowned tuition centres.

They’d ‘race’ to fill these little ones’ minds with the ‘best knowledge’.

While I am one who encourages my kids to read books and give their best at school too, both Wilson and I also strongly believe that children (and us!) learn MORE from life’s experiences.

Things that we ourselves see, feel, experience and share with others. And hopefully, things that also touch the heart and not just fill the mind.

It was because of this reason that we decided to check out Tanjung Uma with the kids during our recent Batam trip.

We left the hotel on foot after breakfast and went looking for it.

We traveled as light as possible (Wilson only brought his camera bag, and I only had a disposable plastic water bottle stuffed into my shorts’ left pocket and my Canon Powershot S90 in my right pocket).

After asking for directions (and getting ourselves lost) a few times, we finally found Tanjung Uma.

We were greeted with a sight that we would never see in a clean, organised city like Singapore.

Wooden boats, both abandoned and still working ones. Muddy tracks. Countless bits of trash and used plastic bags, on land and in the waters.

While we’re there, we decided to visit the homes where the locals live across the waters too.

And so there we were, booking a manually-pedaled ‘river taxi’ for Rp. 5000 (S$0.80)

In the photo below, Anya was already seated on our little boat, while one of the locals helped and carried Vai down the steep wooden ladder. We had to step onto the swaying parked boats first to get onto our boat on the right.

It was about 11am to 12 pm when we were there, I think. It was scorching hot, but the weather was great!

I totally LOVE the blue sky and bits of fluffy white clouds.

The four of us sat on this tiny little wooden boat while the fisherman stood and pedaled.

Because of the reflection, the waters might have looked nice and blue in the photos, but in reality, the waters is black in colour. The stench was strong and the amount of trash in the waters was just sad.

Wilson and I weren’t bothered about it though, and I guess that was why Anya and Vai didn’t complain about it either.

We’re more interested in capturing the experience on camera and sharing the adventure with the little ones.

Upon reaching the village, one of things that immediately caught my attention was the wooden bridge that connects all the homes (all of them are supported by wooden pillars).

The wooden planks were all wobbly!

Some are widely spaced out, and many of them have cracks or big holes!

[And I ended up being the slowest walker around!]

It’s amazing how some of the locals actually ride their motorbikes around the village and ON these bridges!

Now, below is a photo of Vai purposely standing on a plank and WOBBLING it like he was on a surfboard or something!

Gee.

I was like, Vai … stop doing that!

And I just rolled my eyes and sat back when he went and continued doing what he was doing anyway.

While Wilson ventured deeper into the village, the kids and I bought some canned drinks from a shop.

And that was when we made new friends: Zidan, Zikri, Agung and Utari.

They have NO computer games nor mobile phones to play with, but I think THAT what makes them play more with each other.

Real conversations and social interactions with fellow villagers.

Something that we city people need to do more, I think.

When it was time for us to leave, the kids sent us to our boat. They laughed, waved and asked if we could take more photos of them *smile*

Anya asked questions through out the trip.

Why weren’t they wearing any shoes? What do the people do everyday? Why did the baby sleep with no clothes on? Where do the whole family sleep if their home is that small?

We tried to answer her questions. And if we didn’t know why, we told her that too.

We explained to Anya and Vai how different people have different lifestyles, how we need to be respectful towards people from different walks of life, how we need to always be thankful for what we have and not complain about what we don’t have.

I might not know how much Anya and Vai learned from this Tanjung Uma experience. But the one thing I know for sure is, Anya and Vai would NOT have learned anything if we had not gone over to the village and had the experience ourselves.

As for me, well … this particular trip to Tanjung Uma was one of the memorable ones.

Beats going to the malls, I’d say.

Gee. I have so many ‘Activity for Kids idea‘ posts waiting to be shared. Errr, as well as recent Jakarta trip posts, and Batam trip posts, and …

Not sure if I’d ever get to share them all.

Ah anyway.

Here’s one simple idea I’d like to share with you today.

It was when we made paper people.

What we did:

– On a piece of paper, I drew a circle (using a bottle lid), and two straight lines downwards for the body (see picture above)

– I cut out a few of these

– I let the kids draw the faces and the clothes.

The fun part is, they get to draw ANY kind of face and clothes they wish!

Like for example, below is Anya’s version of a princess, and … Vai’s version of Daddy Wilson!

While giggling away, he said, ‘Daddy has shark teeth!’

Notes:

– You could introduce different cultures using this idea, ie. their traditional costumes, or different hair colour and facial features to teach little ones different kinds of people in the world

– In the end, you can hang / stick these different Paper People on the wall and create a ‘village’

As parents, we naturally encourage our children to look at pictorial books, read, scribble, draw, or write.

And when it comes to doing such activities, we usually apply these three basic ‘rules’ (in order to protect these little ones’ eyes):

– Don’t place the book too close to your face
– Don’t read while ‘laying down in bed’
– Don’t read in a dim area (ie. reading / writing area needs to have sufficient lighting)

[Everyone in my family wears glasses, and I’ll try my best to minimise the possibility of my kids becoming short-sighted – myopic – like us]

Now, I don’t know if you’re like me, but I usually emphasise ONLY on those three points and pay not much attention to the kind of reading lamps we use at home.

We simply grabbed a nice looking desk lamp that we liked from IKEA, and we’ve been using it since.

[Glare is not obvious on matt surfaces]

I’ve never considered the fact that traditional reading lamps are very most likely glary.

And THAT, I recently learned, apparently is not good for the eyes.

[Visible glare on our glossy book]

I mean, I’ve often seen the ‘glare’ (like the reflection on glossy books/magazines), but somehow I just don’t think about it. I guess, I also don’t realise that there could be a better solution to it.

I’ve come to realise this aspect of reading lamps and the importance of choosing proper ones just recently, ie. when we got our hands on this 3M^TM Polarizing Light.

Frankly, at first I was a little sceptic.

They’re all reading lamps, I thought, … so why does this lamp by 3M be any different?

So I went on to check on its features, and apparently it has this patented ‘Polarizing Light Filter’, which others do not have, and this filter technology can do these things:

– Reduce direct and reflective glare by 50%-80% on reading materials and work surfaces (such glare can eventually result in eye fatique, headache and frequent tearing)

– Block out harmful UV rays to protect both the eyes and skin

– Make reading more comfortable and less tiring because it’s flicker free

When we tested out this 3M^TM Polarizing Light at home, one thing I immediately noticed.

It’s bright!

It’s brighter than my usual reading light, for sure.

And I immediately thought, does this mean it’ll use up more electricity? (the usual concern we parents have)

Apparently, it says that when used with energy-saving light bulb (of any brands), we’ll save up to 80% energy, ie. Less use of electricity.

Cool.

Anyway, here’s what I’ve got to say.

If you and your kids do your work on the computer, study and basically spend hours using an ordinary desk lamp all this while (like us!), do check out this product.

[Available in Popular bookstore, Home Fix and Best Denki]

Because it’s when we test things out ourselves that we’d get to see the difference and value their long-term benefits.

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PS: This 3M^TM Polarizing Light is now in our bedroom, on our desk, next to our laptop, replacing our cute IKEA table lamp. It now accompanies me as I blog and do other work on my computer at night.

We have just returned from our two-week holiday trip to Jakarta.

And it was one of those trips where we managed to do quite a lot of different stuff with our families!

More than usual, I’d say.

Family outdoor shoots. Birthdays. Beaches. Mountains. Flying Fox rides. ATV rides. And heaps more.

And of course, food! Oh so yummy food! (Am missing them already!)

Will post LOTS of photos and stories soon.

Errr … that is, a little after we’re at least half done with the washing, laundry, mopping, unpacking, and a whole lot of ‘things to do’!

Stay tuned.

[Anya, Vai and their cousin, Keira, at the beach right in front of our cottage at Anyer]