Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

The three of us were crossing the road when I suddenly thought of capturing the moment and quickly took out my camera and speed-walked towards the front.

The shot is a little out of focus though since I lowered the camera, roughly gauged where they were and took the shot while slowly walking forward at the same time.

But I love it.

I love their smiley faces and how they’re all dressed up that day (we just got back from a wedding lunch).

I love how it captures their difference in height (and how still little they both are, when compared to an adult in the background).

And, I love how the brother and sister lovingly walked hand in hand together.

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Anya: 6 years and 4 months

Vai: 3 years and 11 months

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[Photo : captured with Canon Powershot S90]

This was when we were in Indonesia last month and we stopped by ‘Taman Budaya’ at Sentul City (on our way to Puncak from Jakarta).

[Anya and Vai getting their ‘Flying Fox gears’ ready]

You see, one of the many things I love about Indonesia is the chance for the kids to be exposed to ‘new’ experiences, especially activities that are not available here in Singapore.

And this time round, Anya and Vai checked out the Flying Fox facility at Sentul City!

[We paid Rp.20,000 per child, which worked out to be just about S$3, and it entitled each kid to TWO jumps!]

[That’s Anya at the top, getting ready to jump!]

It was Vai’s first ever ‘solo jump’, and he was 3 years and 10 months old at the time.

For Anya, who’s 6 years and 3 months old, it was her fourth solo jump.

This was the challenge they had to go through:

The kids had to climb the wobbly and widely-spaced ‘spider net’ and work their way up towards the top.

And when they’ve reached the top, the instructor hooked them up to the appropriate rope, and OFF they went!

Whoopee!!

[Anya went first]

[And then it was Vai’s turn to ‘fly’ all the way down!]

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Click HERE (or the image below) to watch the clip on youtube!

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As parents, both Wilson and I encourage our little ones to go for positive challenges, ie. Experiences that can somewhat be ‘enriching’ to their overall growth (be it emotional, spiritual or psychological).

And when Anya and Vai made the decision to do the solo jump that day, they found out for themselves how they managed to:

– go up the spider net themselves, although it wasn’t easy for them
– conquer their own fear and do the jump from such a height

And I hope, it became an encouraging experience that they’ll remember.

One thing is for sure, we don’t force them to go through the challenge. We encourage and cheer for them, but they themselves need to be ready for the challenge.

And.

We too need to show them that we are open to such challenges ourselves.

Just a week earlier, Wilson and I were at Anyer City and we all went on a 130m-long Flying Fox! Anya went alone, twice. But Vai wasn’t prepared to go alone, so he went together with us (it was his first ever flying fox ride). He went down once with Wilson, and once with me.

Click HERE to catch our Flying Fox ride at Anyer City on youtube!

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Yep, we had so much fun at Anyer too!

And oh, we LOVE the paddyfield view there as well! So refreshing!

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[INFO]

– The Flying Fox ride at Taman Budaya (Sentul City) was designed more for children, though adults are also allowed.

– The length of the rope is about 20m (it looked like it’s much longer than that though!), and the height is equivalent to a 3-storey building. Or something like that.

– The Flying Fox at Anyer (ie. Lembah Hijau Bandulu) is 130m long and is equivalent to about 10-storey building.

– We paid Rp. 50,000 per person per Flying Fox ride at Anyer.

Recently I was invited to a press conference and panel discussion for Jacob’s Walk of Life.

I went with Wilson as the topic of discussion was ‘Healthy Fathers, Healthy Families’.

It was at this event that I managed to personally interview Gurmit Singh.

To those who may not know him, he’s a local celebrity, the man you see on many Singapore trains and buses (part of the campaign to encourage commuters to give way and give up their seats to others who need them more). And he’s known to most people as the loud, funny and chatty contractor in yellow boots called Phua Chu Kang.

[Even Anya and Vai know who ‘Phua Chu Kang’ is from frequently seeing his photos on public buses!]

That day, Gurmit shared with us how he’s a family man, … a side of him that many perhaps are not too aware of.

He has two children, aged 13 and 9 and he shared how (despite his busy working schedules) he chooses to reserve Sundays for his family. They’d go to church and spend the day together.

Anyway, I was keen to find out what he thinks of some family-related topics and how he does it with his own family.

Here’s a glimpse of his replies:

– On family time and meal times
In our family, we have a rule: eating time is family time, because it’s when we can catch up with each other. My wife and I encourage our kids to talk while we’re eating together. We have this game that we play together called ‘Guess the Character’, and my son would say something like, ‘I’m a thing’. Everyone then takes turn in asking questions to guess what he is. And we play this as we eat.

– On school, stress and happiness in what the children do
My wife and I are constantly fighting a battle against stress when the children are back from school. They have pressures, from their peers, teachers and homework. And we find ourselves doing the opposite. My wife and I tell them, ‘Don’t worry, just try your best. What’ more important is that you’re happy and you’re healthy’. I tell my kids, ‘When you grow up, you don’t have to be a lawyer, or a doctor. You can be anything … a char kway teow seller, I don’t care. If you’re happy, then you do it!’

– On children’s academic achievements
Family is not about achieving. Parents have expectations, and children are expected to measure up. It’s stressful. You only have your childhood once, and if you spend it doing just test papers, then … *pause*

Some parents said, ‘Oh my son only got 80% today!’, and I thought, it’s 80 out of 100, right? Isn’t that good? Shouldn’t you be giving the child a treat or something? But no, the parents send them to more tuitions, to get even higher mark.

I like Finland’s education system. You know, even if you can write at 3yo or 4yo, by the age of 7yo, they’re all the same. So really, what’s the rush? I don’t understand.

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We actually chatted for much longer, but since it was more like a casual chat than a formal ‘I-ask-and-you-answer’ kind, I find it a little hard to cover ‘everything’ in one post.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with his down to earth attitude, and especially with his views towards children education. And it was nice to hear how he tries to be his children’s friend, rather than someone who simply gives ‘directives’, and how he’s more of a relaxed Dad who prefers to have a holistic approach to life.

I guess I simply didn’t expect to hear such perspectives from a celebrity dad like him.

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Btw, you can join Jacob’s Walk of Life event on Saturday, 5 September at Pasir Ris Park!

Click HERE to find out more and to register!

Errr … not quite.

But if I were, I think I should at least tuck in my shirt?

*smile*

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Btw, there WILL be a post on Mommy interviewing Gurmit Singh this week. Stay tuned!

If you are a parent, I’m sure you’d agree with me when I say our days can be full of … mmm, adventures.

Yes, there are happy and funny adventures.

But as much as we love them and treasure their growing up moments, there ARE far-from-fun adventures too!

I had ‘those’ draining days last week and this week.

[I shared some of the incidents on my Facebook. Yep, ‘more updates’ on daily happenings on my Facebook, and you’re most welcome to add me]

Let’s see.

Here’s one of those days.

[Get ready for it’s going to be a long post]

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Vai was in the mood to ‘not listen’ to Mommy (and this mood lasts for very long and for many days!). And so, after a series of ‘ignoring-Mommy’ episodes, instead of sitting down and picking up his full glass of milk properly, he chose to:

… get down from his chair, skip around, climb a sofa, jump down, go back to the dining table
… tiptoe, reach for the glass and, … that was when the glass slipped and the whole glass of milk went all over my dining table! Onto some of our CD, DVDs and books!

AND, some milk also went under his place mat and into this little tiny gap between our nearly-impossible-to-lift glass top and wooden dining table.

I. Was. So. MAD.

I literally went to close the windows and main door before I let out my thunderous voice!

I kept thinking at the back of my mind, ‘Don’t say anything that you’ll regret later! Don’t do anything that you’ll regret later!’ But at the same time, I was really REALLY mad at him!

It was like a ‘IF ONLY YOU HAD LISTENNNNEDDDDDD!!!!’ kind of impatience!

Yes, after being ignored and rudely back-talked frequently in recent weeks, my patience level seemed to have reached its maximum capacity that morning.

I pinched his ears for not listening after being told again and again. And I (very VERY loudly) scolded him for a good 2 minutes or so.

I had to literally restrain myself from doing more than that (physical things) because I know it’d be just ME venting it out at him.

It was SO not easy.

My throat was a little sore after that thunderous episode. And I had a bit of a headache too (I get this whenever I had to control my emotion/impatience so that I don’t explode ‘more than I probably should’ towards the kids whenever ‘something’ happens]

[Mmmm btw, the episode of ‘full-glass-of-milk-getting-spilled-completely-due-to-Vai-not-listening-to Mommy’ happened THREE times over three days!]

And that very same day, Vai flung his shorts all over the place (instead of putting them on after his shower), and they got stuck on the ceiling fan (again!).

When he came to tell me about it, in my head I was like, ‘WHATTT?’

I know it could probably be a ‘funny incident’ and I ‘should just laugh it off’. But I was already SO not in the mood to laugh or talk that day, and I still had a slight headache from the morning incident.

So I closed my eyes for a good few seconds, ‘swallowed’ the urge to scold (by thinking that it’s not a serious thing, and it’s nothing like this morning’s milk episode), and I told him to figure out a way to get the pants down himself.

[In the end, Anya swung her bath towel and got the pants down from the ceiling fan before Vai’s back with a laundry stick]

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Every night I pray for my children. I pray for their safety, for them to personally experience God’s goodness and love everyday, for them to have a personal faith in Jesus Christ one day (not just a ‘parental faith’, ie. faith that’s there simply because WE parents believe in God]

But every night, I also pray that God gives me the much needed patience and wisdom to be the kind of parent He wants me to be. And, to forgive me for the kinds of things that I’ve said and done that I probably shouldn’t.

Because really, the reality of being a parent and being faced with challenging situations (where our emotion and patience often get tested within 24 hours) is … hard.

It’d be easier to explode and vent out our anger towards our kids, than to control our emotions, think clearly and verbally teach them the kinds of lessons / values that they’re supposed to learn.

Wilson and I always have a good heart-to-heart talk with the kids after each episode (when everyone and everything has already calmed down).

We practise this since the kids were little, because we really believe these little ones need to know how we love them very much, what they did wrong, why we have to discipline them earlier, and what areas that they need to learn and change.

We’d also pray together and let the kids say (on their own and in their own words) what they’ve done and ask for God’s forgiveness (as they need to learn to be accountable for their own actions).

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Being a parent is an honour. To be able to actively be involved in their growing up days and years is a privilege. But the journey of being a parent IS full of ups and downs too, and WE need to learn and change for the better ourselves, just as much as they do.

And that’s why I know, I have to cling onto God’s grace and mercy even more.

One of the things I appreciate about Singapore is the country’s effort in keeping all different races in harmony.

Because it sure is NOT easy to have different cultures, races, religions sharing one common space together.

Anyway, as a way to promote inter-racial understanding among children here in Singapore, every year, on 21 July, kids are encouraged to wear something traditional to school!

And so Anya and Vai went in their chinese costumes yesterday.

(Sure is fun for them to have a little change to their usual school uniform!)

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Btw, what costumes did your kids put on for Racial Harmony Day this year?

[In their traditional Batik costumes]

Btw, if you’re not familiar with what Singapore’s Racial Harmony Day is, here’s a bit about it:

As part of National Education, schools commemorate Racial Harmony Day on 21 July every year to mark the anniversary of the 1964 racial riots. This is a day for students to reflect on and celebrate our success as a harmonious nation built on a rich diversity of cultures. This event has helped to promote inter-racial understanding among our students.

The theme for this year is “Embracing Diversity, Building Community”. It reminds us of the different races, cultures and languages in Singapore, especially with the transformation of Singaporean society over the years. The celebration is a reminder that promoting social cohesion and racial harmony requires constant effort from our educators, students and stakeholders, such as parents.

[extracted from Ministry of Education’s site]

[When we look at this old mailbox in Jakarta, really … how can we complain about Singapore Post?]

If you’ve taken taxis in Singapore before, I’m sure you’ve encountered, at least once, a taxi driver who complains about the Singapore government. How it’s run, how everything is expensive, how they have to ‘pay and pay’, etc.

Then when they know I’m from Indonesia, they’d usually say how things are so much cheaper in Indonesia, how things are great there, etc.

Somehow, the grass is always greener on the other side.

I usually share with the taxi drivers (who love to complain about Singapore), how I personally think there are no perfect countries in the world. How we can’t have the best of everything.

Yes, Singapore’s cost of living is more expensive, but its crime rate is low.

And Jakarta?

Well, our daily cost of living there sure is a lot cheaper, BUT, you won’t feel THAT safe when out and about on public transports. And if you’re in a car and the traffic light is red, it’s better to NOT use your mobile phone because there IS a possibility of someone knocking on your car window, asking for YOUR mobile phone (our family had such experiences before).

Taxi drivers usually then say to me, ‘Hmmm, ya hor … Singapore’s very very safe!’

*smile*

[‘Slum homes’ in Batam]

Anyway.

Here’s something I’d like to share with you.

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Before you complain about your food – Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Before you complain about your children – Think of someone who longs for a child but is unable to conceive.

Before you complain about your home – Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before you start pointing fingers and condemning others – Remember that not one of us is without sin.

Before you complain about your own life’s problems – Look around and see how there’re much much bigger problems out there, and that ours actually may not be as BIG as we initially think.

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Everyone of us has a longing to have things better.

And I think it can be a good thing. It can push us further in making improvements on different aspects in life.

I guess it’s a ‘problem’ when we only complain, but do nothing on our part to make things better.

Well.

Before we complain, let us remember to count our blessings first, and learn to appreciate what we already have.

(I need to remember and do this every day too)

Because the reality is, it’s just so much easier to complain, than to give thanks to God for what we already have.

The four of us went to check out the family carnival at Marina Bay last Saturday!

And, the weather happened to be rather breezy that late afternoon! How nice!

[The event was organised to celebrate the completion of the new waterfront promenade and other developments in the area!]

[Anya and the ‘finger-puppet’ craft she made at one of the booths]

The kids, btw, could enjoy all sorts of games for FREE at the 2-day carnival!

I mean, they have kiddy boat rides, finger puppet crafting and kite-making sessions, ‘bouncy castles’, etc, … all provided for free to the public!

I was pleasantly surprised, I must say!

Anyway.

I took some shots of the kids with the late afternoon sun behind them.

And here are the three which I personally like.

*smile*

Hope you had a nice weekend!