Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

The Cross was placed where there was no miracle,
but the cross showed us the greatest miracle.

The Cross was placed where there was no light,
but the cross manifested the greatest light.

The Cross was placed where there was no self-defense,
but the cross manifested the greatest power.

The Cross was placed where there was great folly,
but the cross manifested the greatest wisdom in history.

[Extracted from ‘The Three Crosses’, by Rev. DR. Stephen Tong]
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“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'”
(Romans 5:6-8)

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To those who share the same faith as me and my family, may you have a blessed Good Friday today, a day when we all are reminded of God’s great love for us sinners and of God’s ultimate victory over the power of death and sin.

When it comes to conversations with kids (ie. With my own AND with all other children), there are certain questions which I personally avoid.

My reasons? Well, it’s because I feel the questions will encourage the child to think / feel / view something in a way that they shouldn’t.

It’s kinda hard to explain without any concrete examples, … so let me share with you one question which I personally will never ask any children yeah.

(Actually, I won’t ask adults this question too).

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Personally, I won’t ask anything that’s along the lines of:

‘Who do you love more, … your Daddy or your Mommy?’

‘Who do you think love/like/spoil you more, … your Dad or your Mom?’

‘Who do you like better, … your grandpa (Dad’s father) or your Gong-Gong (Mom’s father)?’

‘Who do you think is cuter, … baby A or baby B?’

‘Who do you love the best, … your sister or your brother?’

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And here are my reasons for not wanting to ask such questions:

> I feel such a question (indirectly) puts children in a position that encourages them to unconsciously make an unnecessary (‘unhealthy’?) choice between two options.

I mean, it’s NOT like we’re asking them if they like bananas more than they like apples, if they like red colour better than blue colour, or if they like the story of ‘Cinderella’ better than ‘Red Riding Hood’ (which obviously are totally okay)

To me, such a question in a way encourages the child to ‘favour’ one relationship over another.

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> Children should love both parents (at least, they should learn / be encouraged to love both parents equally). And I personally feel all children should NOT be made to question, compare then decide which parent loves them ‘more’ (because in other words, we’re asking them to decide which parent actually loves them ‘less’)

[Note: Even if a child somehow feels one parent loves him more than the other parent, I still feel such a thought should not be emphasised nor further developed]

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> I personally feel children should be encouraged to love all their siblings too, and not asked to pick one over another, ie. regardless of whether the question was jokingly asked or not.

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> Children should not be encouraged to judge / decide which person/friend/cousin is ‘cuter’, or ‘smarter’, or ‘richer’, or ‘better’ too. They should instead be encouraged to see other people in terms of their strengths (and not their weaknesses), and to value relationships and friendships.

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Anyway, it’s a personal thing.

Like, I always tell Anya and Vai that Mommy and Daddy love them both equally, how they both need to always love their family and look out for each other as siblings, and how they need to learn to respect other people as well.

But then of course, through the years, we’ve encountered others who asked such questions to our children (in a joking manner usually). Such a situation is inevitable and I’m personally fine with it (ie. We can’t filter everything that takes place in our kids’ lives). When such a situation happens and we’re around to hear it being asked to the kids, I’d smile and tell the kids how we BOTH love them, and subtly distract or divert the conversation.

I guess, at the end of the day, what’s more important is the kind of values / principles / teachings that we parents instill in our children and how we ourselves ‘walk our talk’ and learn to continually be a living example to our little ones?

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Care to share your thoughts on this one?

[Wearing my maternity support belt. Click HERE to read my review on Facebook]

> My Doc sort of gave me his gender prediction, BUT right until today, each time we had a scan, it’s NEVER clear if it’s a boy or a girl. It was either blocked, or sort of … fuzzy. So, as much as I would LOVE to know, I’m ready for either a boy or a girl. Just as long as baby is healthy and well =)

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> I’ve been telling people that I’m due next month (ie. May). If it’s a complete 40-week pregnancy, actually I’d be due in the first week of June though!

You see, Anya was born when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Vai was born at 37.5 weeks. So I really am hoping that baby #3 is also due around the same time =)

(If I could choose, I personally would prefer having the baby at 37 weeks, than at 40 weeks. The weather’s been so warm lately, I do feel exhausted easier, and I find myself needing to sit straight up in order to breathe properly. Sleeping at night is not that convenient when the belly is big. I mean, I can’t imagine how much bigger (and uncomfortable) one would get if baby still prefers to be inside at Week 40!)

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> Aching wrists and index finger, thanks to water retention.

You’d think that ‘water retention‘ only makes pregnant women’s feet look SO swollen and huge! But noooo … apparently now I know that water retention can also hurt my wrists (without making them look swollen!) I mean, I’d wake up in the morning and my right wrist would hurt. And when it happens (luckily it’s not THAT bad everyday), I can’t even lift a glass of water with my right hand.

This btw didn’t happen when I was pregnant with Anya and Vai.

[Waiting for the kids to finish their water and sand play at the beach]

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> Conflict between my ‘nesting instinct‘ and ‘physical exhaustion’

I must say, it’s very different now that I’m pregnant with baby #3, compared to … say, when I was pregnant with Anya, my firstborn.

When I was pregnant with Anya, there’re no older siblings to care for and I had much better rest time. And now that I’m pregnant with baby #3, it’s much tougher to slow down.

People (and those pregnancy email bulletins) would tell me to ‘rest more’, especially now that I’m in my third trimester. Hmm, but with endless housework to clear, school-going kids to send and pick up (and coach), and not to mention a whole lot of other things to do everyday, it’s hard to simply … rest (as much as I’d love to, I mean).

[No, I’m not a ‘neat freak’, so as much as I’d like to clear my housework chores, they’re NEVER cleared, hehe]

There are tonnes of things that I hope I could do (in order to get my home ready for a newborn), BUT these days I’d wake up feeling … tired. And, errr … I haven’t even done anything.

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Oh well. Anyway.

Having shared all that, I AM really grateful that this pregnancy has been relatively smooth sailing so far. That I’ve been healthy and well throughout this pregnancy too.

Can’t ask for more.

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“Adventure ahead … If more rest time is not possible, I’m asking God for extra energy needed… And somehow I know His grace will be sufficient for us … ”
[As shared on my Facebook status a few days ago]

In the past few weeks, it’s been rather tough for me to set aside time with the kids and do some crafts together.

[And even if we have some time in the afternoon together, I prefer to spend it resting where possible, OR spring cleaning the house!=)]

BUT, I’m happy that Vai and I did this very simple activity this morning! =)

It doesn’t take long to complete, it engages the child (and exercises his concentration level too) and it uses something that we ALL have at home, ie. Toilet Paper Roll!

What we did :

– Vai decided that he wanted to draw a ‘boy’, and so I drew the outline with a marker (just the eyes, fringe and shirt)

– He coloured the rest of it with markers

That’s it! =)

Haha. I know, it was a super simple activity, isn’t it!

But I guess that’s what makes this activity great?

Because:

– We can create any characters with this (a boy, a girl, a fireman, an old man with long beard, etc)

– We are re-using what we otherwise would throw to the bin (ie. recycling!)

– The child gets to decide what colours to use, and create his own unique characters

– It can be done by a child as young as 1.5yo! (Don’t worry about the messy colouring =)

And, what’s also important to us is, Vai really liked what he’s made!! =)

Happy (simple) crafting!

[A shot with a doggie mascot as we walked down Orchard Road over the weekend]

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One of the questions I often get from taxi drivers here in Singapore (upon hearing me speak ‘Bahasa Indonesia’ with the kids) is, ‘Oh, you’re Indonesian? How long have you been in Singapore?’

=)

Well, I have so far lived in Singapore for 12 years. Yes, TWELVE years.

Wilson and I came, worked full-time, got married, started a family, and started our business here too.

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Some people (usually those who don’t live in Singapore) do wonder WHY we’ve lived here for THAT long.

They’d ask us things like, ‘Why did you come to Singapore in the first place anyway?’ and ‘What is it about Singapore that you like?’

[Note: I’ve lived in Jakarta for 14 years, in Perth for 9 years, and now in Singapore for 12 years]

And so I thought of listing down my top eight things about Singapore that make me feel comfortable about living here so far:

Here goes:

1. Convenient Transport System

Throughout the years, we’ve never had a car, and YET, we can conveniently travel from A to B!

I can go out and about on public transports, without my hubby, and just with Anya and Vai (since they’re babies). And I love this kind of ‘freedom’.

[Photo was taken in 2008, when the kids and I traveled on a public bus. Anya was 4yo and Vai was less than 2yo]

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2. Relatively safe environment

I can walk alone, or just with the kids, to the nearby supermarket, at 10.30pm at night and NOT ‘worry’ about our safety (errr … not that we do this often =)

This, I feel, is one important factor to me as a parent of young kids, ie. I value the fact that Singapore’s crime level is low and that we can feel safe living here day to day.

(Note: It doesn’t mean we ignore ‘general precautionary measures’, ie. We do avoid going to quiet parks or alleys at night, etc)

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3. Clean and Orderly

Of course this doesn’t mean there’s hardly any rubbish around. But really, I must say, Singapore IS a relatively clean and orderly city.

[Sentosa’s Palawan Beach]

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4. Easy access to the outdoors (eg. Parks and Beach)

As a parent, I feel I need to let my kids enjoy the outdoors too (ie. not always be confined within buildings). And here in Singapore, I can conveniently take the kids to parks and beaches!

Yes, the beaches may not be as nice as those in Australia, and the parks may not be within ‘walking distance’, BUT they’re all well-maintained and most of them are easily accessible by public transports. My kids can comfortably (and safely) run around and play together out in the open.

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5. Great libraries!

Books. Lots of books. Available for all of us to borrow.

The public libraries are well-maintained (with children sections too!), and I love how they’re interconnected. This basically means, I can borrow a book from Public Library A, and return the book at Public Library B.

I can easily search and extend the deadline of my borrowed books online too (on www.pl.sg)

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6. Clear legal system

If I were unfairly treated (eg. by a hospital), there’s an institution or a government body that I can go to that will ‘protect’ my personal interest.

And when something goes wrong (eg. when the law is broken), I can feel sure that the government or the police will look into the case.

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7. No mosquitoes!

I know a lot about mosquito bites (since we always get LOTS of it whenever we go to Jakarta =).

So, to be able to open our windows (during the day and night!) and NOT get a bite here, … it is something which I appreciate a LOT! =)

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8. Relatively affordable education

Primary School education here in Singapore is subsidised by the government, and there’re no ‘Entrance Fees’ like those required by schools in Indonesia (where parents need to pay more than S$1,000 per child to get him/her to any school)

Here in Singapore, although Permanent Residents pay MORE than Singapore citizens, the monthly school fee is still affordable.

(It costs less than S$40 per month for Singapore Permanent Residents. This fee however excludes any additional fees that may be incurred, like books, uniforms, fees to attend certain classes, etc).

[Singapore HDB flats. Photo taken with iphone]

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Having shared my personal list above, I must say that every country has its pros and cons.

There’s NO one perfect country to live in, I mean.

[eg. Singapore’s ‘kiasu culture’, warm weather, ‘expensive’ daily cost of living, ‘excessive’ pressure on young children’s academic achievements, high property and car prices, etc are some of the commonly ‘less-liked’ things about Singapore]

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Well, I say … Country A may have 1, 2 and 3, … but Country B may have 4, 5 and 6 which Country A doesn’t quite have.

A particular country / environment may suit one person and yet is despised by another.

(Someone once said to us too that excessively complaining about what a particular country doesn’t have will not do any good, or change anyway!)

So.

I guess, in the end, can I say that it’s all about learning to be content in whatever situation / environment that we’re in at any particular time?

(I know. More easily said than done, huh? =)

Anyway. What say you?

I find it amazing how, especially today, people from different parts of a city, a country, or the WORLD, can stay in touch easily.

(Facebook, eg., definitely has somewhat changed the lifestyle of millions and the way people stay connected!)

I personally use the media to reach out to more people that I otherwise am not able to reach / know. To share daily thoughts and happenings. To encourage, and be encouraged.

And today, I thought of highlighting to you some of the ways where WE can stay in touch! =)

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Add me on Facebook –
http://www.facebook.com/leonny.atmadja

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Follow me on Twitter –
http://www.twitter.com/oureverydaythgs

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Join Our Everyday Things Facebook Page –
http://www.facebook.com/oureverydaythings

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And of course, subscribe to my Blog via RS
http://feeds.feedburner.com/OurEverydayThings

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Feel free to add, follow, join and subscribe! =)

Thanks everyone!

When it comes to sharing one’s faith and spirituality to little ones, many feel that bringing their children to church every Sunday, teaching them to pray and give thanks before their meals and occasionally reading Bible stories at home is … good enough.

Tedd Tripp shared some food for thought on this topic in his book ‘Shepherding A Child’s Heart’, and I’d like to share some passages of the book with you today.

Hope it can be a blessing to you as much as it has been to me personally.

Happy reading and have a blessed Sunday, everyone!

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It is our task as parents to faithfully teach our children the ways of God. It is the Holy Spirit’s task to work through the Word of God to change their hearts. It is a life of progressive growth.

What our children need is spiritual nurture. They need to be taught the ways of God. They need to understand that all of life rushes toward the day when we shall stand before God and give account. They need to learn about the pervasive effects of the fall on the human condition. They need answers to the great problems of life.

Parents, nurture your children. Tenderly encourage them to trust God. They need to trust Him not only for salvation, but for daily living.

Teach them how knowing God will make a difference in how they interact with their failures and successes. Knowing God will make a difference when they are afraid, angry, hurting, sinning, or sinned against. Knowing what God is like will speak to them when they are tempted.

Our children must understand that ‘Christian life’ not simply as living according to a biblical code, but as life in faith, commitment, and fellowship with the living God.

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‘Behold, children are a gift of the LORD …’
(Psalms 127:3)

‘Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.’
(Proverbs 22:6)

I took this shot of Vai today.

We were at a restaurant waiting for our dinner, and I sat right across this little guy.

I sat back and observed how he happily sipped his drink, wore Daddy’s tennis cap, and occasionally made silly faces to us.

And so I whipped out my camera (Canon Powershot S90), stretched my arm out, casually held and placed the camera on the table, waited (but I didn’t call out to him to look at the camera), and took 3 random (candid) shots of him.

This one is my favourite =)

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When taking photos, many naturally prefer shots of people looking straight to the camera.

The thing is, when taking photos of little ones, … it’s not that simple =) And I guess, it’s because they naturally like to move about or ‘look away’?

Personally, I often take candid shots with my pocket camera (eg. Shots of friends laughing away naturally, or of our kids running around and playing chase). In the shots, they’re not looking at the camera, but it’s perfectly okay, if you ask me.

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Anyway.

Since I believe almost ALL of us must’ve captured moments of friends, families, own little ones, etc, … here’re FOUR quick tips (on how to take candid shots) that I’d like to share with you this weekend.

Here they are :

> Bring along your camera everywhere =)

I guess the best way to take candid, spontaneous photos is to always have our camera ready when we need it? A good quality point and shoot camera would be nice to have, I think.

Personally, I almost always have my Canon Powershot S90 with me (No, I don’t go and bring along a bulky DSLR with me =) It’s relatively light-weight, small-sized, and I love its low-light function.

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> Switch OFF the flash (whenever possible)

Because, blinding flash kills the moment.

And I guess, this is one of the reasons why I love my current pocket camera. My Canon Powershot S90 allows me to take nice and clear shots in low-light situations, with no flash.

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> Take more than one shot!

THIS is possible today, thanks to digital photography that allows us to shoot multiple images (and delete the ones we don’t like later). Out of a few shots that we’ve taken, there’s got to be at least one that you quite like?

Btw, my hubby doesn’t quite believe in this though =) He is one photographer who believes in waiting for the RIGHT moment and shoots, just taking one or two shots. He believes every shot should matter, just like how he would shoot when using films many years ago.

[Anya was engrossed in her sand-play and was totally unaware of my presence. And when she turned and saw me, I caught her surprised look, hehe]

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> Don’t look at the viewfinder all the time and don’t point the camera to the person in an obvious way

Once your subject is aware that you’re going to take photos of them, they often stop what they’re doing or start to act a little … unnaturally.

So instead of holding the camera right in front of our face, holding it in front (or at the side) of our hip does make photo-taking … ‘less obvious’.

[Note; The wider the angle setting, the better chance you have in getting the subject in the frame =)]

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Anyway, I hope these simple tips come in handy for you.

Do have fun shooting around and capturing precious moments with your loved ones!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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[Oh btw, I’d like to say ‘HELLO!!’ to those who visit my blog from countries other than Singapore! Especially those from Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines and Vietnam! WELCOME to Our Everyday Things!! =)]