Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Today I’d like to post a few questions that I have been thinking about too, lately.

How much time do we invest in our children going to school, different extra-curricular activities, enrichment lessons, sports practices, music lessons?

How much time do our kids spend in front of the television, or playing games on the computer, a mobile phone, an ipad or some other gadgets?

AND, how much time do we invest in our children with regards to godliness?

With regards to the building of their (and our) morality, integrity, honesty, empathy, love between siblings and family members.

Most importantly, how much time do we invest in our children with regards to faith, and respect towards God, their Creator, Saviour and Redeemer?

…

IF we ARE so busy and scattered every day, sending our kids to different places and ‘equipping’ them with all necessary skills and academic knowledge, … the reality is, we may in fact have NOT that much time left in a day to do the latter.

And now, the statement above leads us to this big question:

Are we raising a generation that’s so FULL in the head with knowledge and skills, but EMPTY in the hearts and souls?

What are WE investing in our children?

And, how are WE spending time and raising our children today?

“You NEVER listen to me!”

“He is ALWAYS very rude!”

“Why did you behave that way? You’re ALWAYS making me angry!”

“I can NEVER do it!”

…

I don’t know about you, but Wilson and I – since our dating days – try to avoid saying those two words especially when we are not happy about something or with each other.

Because, when ‘always’ and ‘never’ are uttered in such negative contexts, we both feel they potentially will do more ‘damage’ than good. And, it’s mainly because those two words ‘disregard’ any ‘correct, favourable or positive actions’ that have possibly been done previously.

Such a generalisation also does not encourage positive behaviourFor example:

Husband seldom helps out with housework. The last time he did so was about 2 months ago.

Wife is tired, bogged down by endless housework and is not happy when she spots her husband sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper after dinner. So in an unhappy tone, wife says, ‘Can you wash the dishes? You ALWAYS just go off after dinner! You NEVER help out!’

Some people probably are completely okay with such statements.

Not us though.

Because to us, the wife in the above example is disregarding (and not appreciating) the kinds of help that the husband has given previously.

It’s like saying, the husband has never ever EVER help out at all.

Which of course is not true.

…

Now that we have kids, we also apply the same principle to them.

We try our best to not use those words when they misbehave (eg. You NEVER obey! You are ALWAYS making a mess!)

We also share with them different examples so that they can better understand how to use the word in proper context.

For example:

The bus is ALWAYS late — > No, that’s not true. The bus ever comes on time before.

I can NEVER do it –> Giving up before trying our best is not something that we encourage. If we can’t do it now, we probably can do it later.

My brother NEVER tidies up his toys — > No, he ever cleans up after his toys. it’s just that he doesn’t do it ‘all the time’. ‘My brother SELDOM tidies up his toys’, is a better way to describe it.

(We feel such a generalisation also does not encourage positive behaviour)

…

When Anya was much smaller, she did ask, ‘Then when can we can use the words ‘always’ and ‘never’?’

I explained when and how we CAN use the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ by giving different examples :

We’ve NEVER gone to Japan –> That’s true, we’ve NEVER gone to Japan =)

God ALWAYS listens when we pray –> Oh yes, HE does, all the time!

That cake shop is ALWAYS closed whenever we’re there –> Yes, it happened to be the case whenever we visited that mall.

…

Today, after being taught, explained and reminded frequently by us, Anya and Vai more or less know how to use the two words in proper contexts, and how they should really avoid saying such words (especially when they’re not happy about something).

But then of course, knowing and actually doing it are two different things.

…

Oh well. They are still learning to be consistent, and to do what they know as right.

And as parents, we too are still learning to consistently be positive examples, and to not be tired of repeating and reminding the same ol’ life lessons again and again to the kids.

Always learning.

Never giving up.

=)

Sleepy Wings.

It helps prevent babies from getting startled easily when asleep, and from scratching their face too!

And, it’s super cute too! =)

Click HERE to see the various sizes and colours available for your little ones, and HERE to see their Facebook Page!

…

To view more photos and read my review of Sleepy Wings on Facebook, please click HERE and HERE!

…

Now, it’s GIVEAWAY TIME!!

Thanks to Tris Kids, the exclusive distributor of Sleepy Wings here in Singapore, there are THREE Sleepy Wings to be given away to Our Everyday Things readers!

*YAY!!*

[Bedtime soon! Photo taken with iphone]

…

Here’s how to join the Giveaway :

1) ‘LIKE’ the Our Everyday Things Facebook Page, if you haven’t already =)

http://www.facebook.com/oureverydaythings

2) Share this giveaway on your Facebook, Twitter or via email to friends

3) Leave a comment (here on this blog post) and share with us :

a) Size and Colour of Sleepy Wings you’d like to win (Click HERE to see them)

b) One (or more) reasons why you think Sleepy Wings will be useful to your little one =)

…

Giveaway contest ends Sunday, 30 October 2011, 11.59pm (Singapore time)

Three winners will be announced the next very next day, chosen by random number generator.

Open to those with Singapore local addresses.

*Always excited to host giveaways!! Wheeeee!!*

…

Go ahead and enter the giveaway yeah! Win a Sleepy Wings for your own little one, your friend’s, or even your little nephew or niece!

…

[Updated : 31 Oct 2011]

Congratulations to the following winners:

– Angela Ruan

– Yd

– Daniel

To winners:
Please get in touch with me with your mailing address within 48 hours yeah!

To everyone else:
THANK YOU for participating! There’ll be more giveaways (every week actually! 🙂
Look forward to seeing your entries again!

Hope you all had fun! *Thanks Tris Kids and Sleepy Wings!*

There she was, with her legs all curled up on the doctor’s weighing scale.

She’s 7,65kg now, and 64cm long.

Still mistakenly assumed as a baby boy by some strangers

*Hence, a pink headband comes to the rescue =)*

She gets on all four pretty fast by now.

And lately, she’s been practising her ‘half-sitting down’ pose.

She had her 6-in-1 vaccination yesterday. On her right thigh.

Screamed and cried for a good 20 seconds or so.

And was down with mild fever that very evening.

Anyway, I thought I should keep this video of Brie on all four, rocking back and forth here on my blog too =)

She was 5 months minus one week in the video (taken with my iphone).

…

(Psst Brie … Mommy is enjoying your baby days. Please don’t grow up TOO fast. Love you!)

I’m excited about our Photobook!

So glad that we had our family photo shoot done when Brie was a tiny 3-week-old baby too!

Because believe it or not, although both my hubby and I are photographers, we NEVER had such ‘newborn and family photo shoots’ done.

We had none properly done when Anya and Vai were born.

We also never had any photobooks made for our little family photos. Ever.

I totally remember how Brie was just born a while ago. And now she’s what … FIVE months old?? Am just SO glad that we managed to set some time way back in June and had our photos taken with the newborn baby in the family.

…

If you are like me and never had any family photo shoots done before … I’d say, go ahead and have one done, at least once for your family. While the kids are still small, I mean. Because really, time flies SO very fast, and kids grow up SO quickly.

Anyway.

Here are more shots of our photobook.

Our photo shoot was done by Rafael, from Elikon Picture.

And the book was made by Photobook Singapore.

Brie is exactly FIVE months today! And um, I still owe her a proper ‘Birth Story’ blog post. I mean, another post on TOP of the one I wrote when she was about one month old.

Anyway, before my memory gets too rusty, I better write it all down.

This was what happened before Baby Brie was born into this world =)

…

Friday, 20 May 2011
11.50pm
38 weeks pregnant, and in my attempt to ‘encourage labour’, I’ve been scrubbing my bathroom tiles every other day! (I know, it’s probably a myth, but I didn’t quite care. I like my bathroom floor clean! =)

Then I suddenly noticed some ‘pinkish discharge’. Wasn’t sure if it meant labour was starting, because when I was pregnant with Anya and Vai, my waterbag burst first.

Saturday, 21 May 2011
12.05am
Called Thomson Medical Centre (TMC) and the nurse asked me to come to the hospital to get myself checked. Since it’s my third baby, labour could happen FAST, she said.

12.45am
After dropping both Anya and Vai off at a friend’s place, Wilson and I went to TMC by taxi. Was asked to go to the Labour Ward and put on their purple hospital robe.

1.30am
Had straps put around my belly to monitor baby’s heartbeat and contractions. But when the nurse finally checked my dilation, she told me I was only 1cm dilated! Was sent to my hospital room to get some rest, while Wilson waited and tried to get some rest in the ‘waiting lounge’ (ie. No one is allowed to sleep in the same room, unless you’ve booked a one-bedded room)

10.15am
My gynae came and did a check. Apparently I was only about 2cm dilated! He asked if we wanted to go home and wait. But you see, Wilson’s parents were already on their way to Singapore that very morning, and my mom-in-law, our only help this time round, could only stay for 10 days with us. So, since I was already in my 38th week too, we decided to just go ahead and get myself induced.

11.45am
A ‘pill’ was inserted to ripen the cervix (so that it’d dilate to 10cm faster). No painful contractions YET, and I happily tweeted and posted updates on Facebook =)

3.15pm
My Doc came to see how I was doing, and when he saw me still looking happy and relaxed, he said, ‘Oh, that’s not good!’ (read: No contractions after being induced). He then ‘manually’ dilated my cervix to 3cm (yes, OUCH!). And from then point on, contractions were strong and only got stronger by the hour! They were consistently strong and the intervals were very close together! The nurses decided to wheel me back to the labour ward.

5.10pm
Managed to see Anya and Vai (who came with Wilson and their grandparents to the hospital) before I was wheeled to the delivery suite. So happy to see them! By then I was about 5cm dilated and contractions were consistently strong and painful. Earlier on, the nurses asked if I wanted epidural and I replied with a no thank you. Instead I asked for Entonox (Laughing gas) to help relieve a bit of the pain.

[My mask, my friend]

6.10pm
Managed to occasionally post updates on Facebook with my right hand when the contractions were not so strong, haha (Somehow this ‘FB update’ thing managed to distract me from my labour pain, a LITTLE bit)

9pm
My gynae came to check on me and decided to burst my waterbag. And I was like, ah … finally! This meant baby’s coming real soon, but it of course also meant contractions became SO MUCH stronger. I held on to my mask with all my might each time the waves of contractions came. I was about 8cm dilated.

9.30pm
Guess what? I suddenly felt this super strong urge to PUSH. We told the nurses and they immediately called my gynae. He quickly rushed back to TMC, but he was about 8-10 minutes away at the time. Every single second was tough for me because I had to keep on breathing in and out to overcome the urge to push. The nurses were telling me, ‘Don’t push! Breathe in and out! Doctor is coming! Doctor is coming!’

9.38pm
Finally, my gynae arrived! And in about three strenuous pushes, baby was out! My whole body ached (from enduring the pain for hours), and my left arm and fingers were extra sore from gripping the mask with all of my strength. I was completely and UTTERLY exhausted beyond words.

Was very glad that it’s all finally over, there were no complications and that a baby girl was all healthy and well!

Birth Weight : 3.220kg

Length: 49cm

Head Circumference: 34cm

We decided to name our baby girl : Labrielle Hidajat.

‘Labrielle’ means ‘God is our strength’.

[When the thought of having another baby crossed our minds, we prayed and said,  ‘God, if You really would like to entrust us with another little one, then please teach us to have faith, and to be ready to learn to walk the faith and see how You sure would give us the needed strength everyday too’]

And, she’ll lovingly be called ‘Brie’ for short, which in Indonesian, the word also means ‘given’ (ie. ‘Beri’). She is indeed ‘given’ to us from above.

…

[Exactly one week old baby Brie in my hands after her bath. Still sooo tiny!]

Ah anyway. It’s amazing how time flies SO quickly.

The tiny baby girl is already FIVE months old today!

Thanking God endlessly for watching over her faithfully, every day.

We feel very blessed.

I don’t know how it is done in other countries, but here in Singapore, in the month of October, it seems to be the popular thing to see Halloween-themed events, products, including children toys, being sold EVERYWHERE.

And while I know many people feel it’s okay and fun to celebrate Halloween, our family chooses to not celebrate it. We have never celebrated it, and we never agree with the whole idea behind it.

We also don’t see ‘Halloween’ as a time for our kids to wear ‘cute costumes’ either.

Well. It’s just a personal choice.

And here are some of our reasons:

– We don’t believe in our kids seeing frightening, gory, bloody faces and images as fun and as something to celebrate about. We don’t believe that there’s any goodness in exposing our little children to such things

(Although of course there’s bound to be something scary that the kids will see at shops, etc when Halloween is near, it’s still different compared to us actually ‘celebrating’ it)
– We don’t endorse violence. We don’t encourage violent physical interactions / role-plays amongst our kids either. So it is simply unimaginable for us to introduce to our children that being killed/slashed by a sword, or axed on the head is cute or funny or even ‘festive’.
– We don’t believe in celebrating nor being part of anything related to witches, ghosts, the devil, or the dead, however ‘harmless, fun, cute, and festively packaged’ the whole Halloween event is planned
– If as family we celebrate Halloween – in however way that’s suitable for small children – children will naturally accept Halloween as part of their annual tradition spent with friends and families. And when they’re in their teens, when cute costumes and candies are no longer relevant, it’ll be highly likely for them to continue celebrating Halloween with friends, in the way that the ‘real gory Halloween should be’.

And so, no, we personally choose to not be associated with any of it nor introduce it to our children, thank you.

(Of course they do see Halloween toys and decor at shops, etc. Realistically, they can’t completely be shielded from it since it’s everywhere. And so when they ask questions – they almost always do anyway – we simply explain it to them)

…

Btw, I thought I should also share that I saw photos of a marketing campaign here in Singapore where so called ‘zombies’ roamed around the streets giving out flyers. SO glad I didn’t happen to be in the area with my kids! How traumatising it’d be!

I also walked past shops today and saw dolls being hung by the neck, blood-splattered shirts, a toy knife with blood, etc.

(Companies sure are riding on the whole ‘festivity’ to make anything, just as long as they can make heaps of profits out of it)

…

I know, many will disagree with me. Because many do find it acceptable or are feeling neutral about the whole Halloween idea.

Every family is entitled to their own opinion on this of course.

For me, I just can’t stay neutral on this though.

Again, it’s a personal thing.

I just feel I should write and share my personal thoughts on this. Especially since it’s ‘Halloween season’ right now.

…

PS: I thought I should also add :

> As much as I don’t believe in celebrating Halloween, when others celebrate it with cute children costumes and harmless children games, it is, to me, still a much better alternative than having people getting all dressed up to look like, say, car accident victims holding a smashed baby doll, or rape victims. Because really, they’re just, too real? I mean, there ARE actually people out there who DID lose loved ones in such tragedies, and having fun while dressing up like real victims is just, wrong. If we personally knew someone who passed away in such a tragic way, would we get ourselves dressed up to look like the victim? I don’t know. I just feel that one sure can have fun, but there needs to be a degree of humanity, sensitivity and respect towards others in it.

(Even dressing up like Frankenstein, a witch on a broom, or Darth Vader would be a ‘better alternative’, because they’re all known fictional movie characters)

>  To me, Halloween is not similar to the 7th month Hungry Ghost Festival (although both ‘celebrate the dead’). Because during the 7th month, children see joss sticks, tents, stages, and people praying, etc … but at least there’re no people walking around in gory, scary and bloody costumes.

… is, the kids get to entertain themselves pretty often.

Anya and Vai especially LOVE it when they can make Brie squeal and laugh out loud (which doesn’t take that much effort as this little girl smiles and laughs a lot and rather easily =)

…

PS: I get asked pretty often about how I encourage the kids to have good sibling relationship with one another. I can’t quite answer the question in one simple sentence because it does involve quite a bit of effort from us parents and it continually needs to be nurtured by us over the years (And yes, the two older kids DO bicker, argue, annoy each other and find faults in each other, … like all other siblings do). Anyway, hope to (find the time to) share it in a blog post sometime.