Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

By January 2012, I would’ve officially been blogging under ‘Our Everyday Things’ for 7 years! *Been loving every single day of it!*

And after a quick check, I apparently have a total of 1574 blog posts to date! And THAT number does NOT include the 400+ blog posts that I have YET to manually transfer when I moved to WordPress some three years ago.

(It’s a LONG story. In short: I used to blog the super old version way, with HTML, and when I moved to WordPress, I had to manually move every single blog post to WordPress. Very painful. I didn’t manage to finish the transfer. THEN, my hard drive crashed, and my 400+ posts died with it! URGH!)

ANYWAY.

I thought every now and then, I should really bring out a post from the past.

Here’s one on parenting that I’d like to share with you today =)

Have a great Monday, everyone!

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MAKING A CHILD FEEL LOVED

We parents are full of faults. We all make mistakes.

But one of the things I’d tell myself is, the fact that no parents are perfect should never be my excuse for not wanting to always change for the better.

Here’re some practical suggestions on how to make a child feel loved (especially since we parents sometimes unintentionally do or say things that make our children feel ‘the opposite’).

(based on Dr Kevin Leman’s book ‘Making Children Mind without Losing Yours‘)

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1. Make sure you see your children as God sees them – as a ‘gift’ and a ‘reward’, not as an interruption or an accident

2. Cultivate a childlike attitude.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Rediscover play. Walk barefoot together across the wet grass. Ride a merry-go-round. Act out a story instead of merely reading it.

3. Give your children direct eye contact
A child has a critical need for focused attention that enables him to feel respective, important and loved.  “Daddy (or Mommy) really cares about me … what I say … what I do.”

4. Physically express your love
Regular hugging, kissing, sitting close together, tousling hair, tickling, rubbing backs … putting an arm on the shoulder .. are all absolutely essential to assure a child’s emotional security and to nurture his self-esteem. They communicate this thought : “I like you and enjoy being with you.” These are the building blocks of a strong , healthy love bond.

5. Train yourself to be a good listener
Listening requires discipline, especially with children who can tell you the same Winnie the Pooh story a hundred times. It involves the eyes, ears, mind and heart. It means kneeling at times so as to be on their level and to communicate eye to eye. it’s important that as parents we respond to our child’s feelings. Such statements as ‘Not now, I’m busy” or “Tell me later” say to a child I guess I’m not as important to Mommy and Daddy as other things are.

6. Spend … time together

There simply is no substitute for regular, consistent time spent together doing ordinary things (eating, working, walking, praying, driving, swimming, shopping) or “making memories” by doing extraordinary things (visit to the zoo, pet shop, amusement park, or hospital; picnicking, biking, building a model plane, sight-seeing, etc)

Spending time with your children does create great memories.

A child’s life is so pliable during the formative years. Do your best to give your child a great gift every day: yourself! And be sure to listen.

All parents look back and realise how quickly time passes. Use your time wisely.

Listen to your children when they are little. They are much more likely to talk to you when they are older!

[If you look closely, Anya and Vai were holding on to little elephant plush toys. Vai named his ‘Nara’; Anya named hers ‘Tiara’ =)]

Thanks to the Wildlife Reserves Singapore, our family was invited to join in this ‘birthday tea party’ of Baby Elephant Nila Utama last week!

Nila Utama is the first Asian elephant born right here in Singapore!

Personally, I thought it was nice that the kids went with us to the event, and actually saw Nila Utama and the other Asian elephants for themselves, because as they say, it is through knowing more and being involved that one can learn to care about something.

And we sure hope our kids learn to care for the environment and all God’s creations, big and small.

I’ve shared more photos on Facebook. Please click THIS LINK to view them!

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Here’s a video on Nila Utama, how it was when he was born, etc. A cute and informative clip!

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Btw, here’s a little more on Asian Elephants (which I myself recently found out too!):

Asian elephants are listed as endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature and is protected from international trade by its listing on the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES). The native homes of the Asian elephants are often being logged and cleared for urban and agricultural development. They are also often captured and killed by poachers for their tusks.

Asian elephants are found in the forests of India, Sri Lanka, Laos, Myanmar, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia. These gentle giants survive on a diet of grass, leaves, bark, roots and fruits. Many of them are widely domesticated and are used for forestry, harvesting, or ceremonial purposes. There are only an estimated 30,000 to 50,000 Asian elephants left in the wild today.

Last month, I introduced our 7.5yo Anya to hand-sewing for the first time.

Yes, with real needle and thread.

We used felt, I cut out the shape, she sewed the sides, we filled it with some polyester fibre balls (taken from the inside of a ripped IKEA pillow =). And we used UHU glue to stick on the initial.

She gave it to her class form teacher as a year-end thank you gift (which I thought was nice of her =)

Now.

When Anya was onto her second sewing project, Vai asked if he could give it a go too.

Umm, you see … our 5yo Vai is the silly and active type. I frankly didn’t know if he could even concentrate long enough (or be careful enough) to get some sewing done.

I let him give it a try though. Just to be fair.

And you know what?

I was nicely surprised to see that he could!

He concentrated, he was careful, he got his fingers slightly pricked but he continued on.

I was amazed!

Totally didn’t expect him to be able to do any hand-sewing project at the age of 5yo!

He didn’t complete sewing all sides of the rectangle in the end. And his lines were all crooked. BUT, it was totally fine by me!

To me, the learning process is FAR more important than the result.

Anyway, he can always give it a go again when he feels like it.

And if as an adult he later knows how to do a simple fix and sew his button back onto his shirt, that’s good enough, I thought! =)

(IF he could do more, I’m sure whoever is his future wife will most likely appreciate it =)

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You know, this incident reminds me how moms too continually discover new aspects in their kids’ lives.

That these little ones CAN surprise us and accomplish something that we initially assume they cannot do (just as long as we help, guide and expose them to a variety of positive things in life)

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As for the kids themselves, well, at this point, I think through these hand-sewing experiences, they get to discover for themselves:

– the many efforts involved in the making process of something
– and, the joy of making something personalised FOR someone else

Jia You! =)

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PS: Voting for Nuffnang Asia Pacific Blog Awards is still open till this Sunday, 27 November. It’ll be awesome if you can spare a minute or two to vote for Our Everyday Things, under Best Parenting Blog category =)

Voting is allowed every two hours, everyday. Thanks heaps, all!

You can use the widget on the top left sidebar, or go to this LINK.

If you ask me, I think NO parents are spared from challenging parenting moments every single day.

Toddler tantrums. Intentional disobedience. Talk backs. Unappreciative comments. Moments that drain our energy, numb our minds and tire us emotionally.

But, having said that, I personally must say, God is good.

HE lets us taste the sweetness and joy of parenthood too.

Every single day, there are always moments that make us feel blessed to have been entrusted with little ones.

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In the end, I guess there really are NO reasons for us to NOT be thankful and grateful. When we stop every now and then to count our blessings, that is.

If you’re to rate the current ‘helpfulness & thankfulness level’ of those who live in Singapore, what will the rate be, out of 10?

Personally, I’d give … um, 6.5 out of 10?

We take public transports all the time. Buses, trains and taxis. And when hubby is away for work, I still often go out and about with just the kids. And usually THAT is when good and bad experiences are somewhat more obviously felt.

I’ve met and seen ignorant, ungrateful and I-couldn’t-care-less attitudes.

People who look up from their seats on the MRT, spot an old woman standing and trying to balance herself on a moving train, and do nothing except getting themselves busy with their iphones again.

Taxi drivers who choose to stay inside his car while I head towards the back of the taxi, carrying baby Brie with my left hand, closing the pram with my right hand, and lifting the pram into the trunk with my right hand and my right leg (Yes, it’s quite an acrobatic act)

BUT, having said that, I’ve also met kind, really kind, friendly and helpful people!

Passengers or bus drivers who smile and proactively offer help as I board the bus with 3 kids in tow.

Neighbours who offer cookies and other goodies to our kids.

Supermarket staff who greets us and happily plays with baby Brie whenever she sees her.

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Really, helpful and friendly people like these make such a big difference to everyone’s day.

I mean, I might be feeling grumpy and tired one day after handling the kids’ earlier tantrums, but when a friendly taxi driver gets out of the car, smiles and says, ‘Oh, let me lift the pram for you!’, the positivity is just contagious!

How can one not respond in thankfulness towards such kindness and help?

And, how wonderful it’d be if such a positive attitude is adapted by more and more people, on a daily basis?

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Now, I don’t know if you know, but last November 13th was World Kindness Day.

A day when the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM) encourages the whole of Singapore to show kindness to others, AND to also appreciate kindness shown to them.

Our little family (yes, including Brie =) was there to be part of this event!

We joined some 500 other volunteers on Orchard Road and gave out yellow gerbera daisies to whoever we saw to raise awareness of the importance of being kind, gracious and thankful towards others. We hope that those who’ve received the daisies will also pass them along as a way to say thanks to others!

Some may wonder why people need to even be reminded to be kind and thankful. I wondered about that too!

Ideally, being kind and thankful should be a natural part of one’s life. BUT nowadays people are generally getting more and more preoccupied with their own busy lives that many may have forgotten about the importance of simple actions like saying thanks, smiling and helping others who are in need. And this, I guess, is one good reason why such a reminder can actually be a good thing!

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Here are some more photos of what it was like that day :

[Some 30,000 stalks were given out that day, as well as magnetic daisy pins]

[Associate Professor Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, Minister for Information, Communications and the Arts & Adviser to SKM, was the Guest-of-Honour]

[Anya and Vai gave out yellow daisies and magnetic pins to passers-by as well as to cleaners, to show some appreciation of their work in keeping the city nice and clean! It was a memorable hands-on experience for them, I’m sure!]

[With Nuffnang bloggers : Sofia, Becky and Velda!]

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Btw, I saw some good points on Kindness.sg site that I’d like to share with you:

Being gracious and kind should be something we strive to work towards on a daily basis. It brightens up our day when we experience a kind act.

We can be kind at home. We should treat our family – our grandparents, parents, siblings – and even our neighbours with consideration and respect.

We can also be kind at school, by showing courtesy and expressing gratitude to our teachers, classmates and friends, … the food vendors in the canteen and security guards and cleaners.

This year’s World Kindness Day reminds us that kindness is not just about the big, grand gestures. The best kinds of kindness are small, simple things. For example, saying “thank you” when someone had helped you in some way. That is why this year’s slogan is “Say Thanks, Make Someone’s Day”.

There are so many ways we can be considerate of others. Hold the door open for someone, or give up your seat to someone who needs it more, or offer to help your teachers or classmates carry some laptops.

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Now. You know what?

You can also submit videos of “Kindness Ambushes”, as part of the “Say Thanks, Make Someone’s Day” campaign throughout the month of November!

It’s basically when you and your friends / colleagues get together, and every one of you presents yellow gerbera daisies to the agreed kind person! =)

[With Singa the Lion, the Singapore Kindness Movement mascot]

Here’s how you can join this ‘Kindness Ambush’ video contest:

1. Identify someone who is always kind.

2. Get a group of friends who all agree and want to thank this special person.

3. Purchase the yellow gerbera daisies.

4. Surprise the kind person with each of you presenting a stalk of flower to him / her.

5. Remember to say ‘Thank you!’!

6. Get someone to record the ‘ambush’ while it happens.

7. Upload your ambush video on www.makesomeonesday.sg

8. Best videos win one year of unlimited Singapore Cable Car rides from The Jewel Box at Mount Faber!

Read more about the video contest HERE, and watch ‘Kindness Ambush’ videos on Youtube HERE!

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Let’s start the waves of kindness and thankfulness, starting from today.

And not just in the month of November, but every single day.

[Our little ‘blue’ riding hood =)]

Quick updates on the littlest in the family:

Discovers that ‘Oh-I-apparently-CAN-scream-and-make-throaty-noises’ fun!
(read: not so fun for the parents unfortunately)

Finds sitting in a stroller while feeling sleepy as NOT fun, and often chooses to make pleading noises so she’s picked up.
(read: noises potentially turn to full blown cries if plea is ignored for more than a minute)

Gets up from tummy position to sitting position in less than, … 5 seconds.

Likes to hold onto the sides of the cot and attempts to pull herself up. So far, she successfully gets to a kneeling position.
(read: time to lower the cot level, for safety purposes)

Gets around by ‘half crawling’, which basically is when she gets on all four, ‘throws’ body forward till she’s back to tummy position, and repeats the whole process till she gets to the object she wants to grab and mouth =)

Much more curious about her world and hence, loves to reach out and pick up objects with her whole hand.
(read: beware of those plates on the table, spectacles, and tiny objects)

[Loving our party of five!=)]

Eats solids once a day, mostly about an hour before bedtime – Introduced to rice cereal and mashed bananas so far.

Opens mouth to accept spoon, pushes out about half of it, and I’d scoop it back in. Somehow she’s not so interested in solids just yet (But if no ‘food’ is given, she’d wake up and ask for more ‘drinks’ at night). So my approach is, instead of letting her sit on the baby chair (where her upright body position allows for food to be more easily pushed out), I carry her in my sling, and feed her solids while she’s ‘semi-reclined’. For now, I’ll stick to this approach. Works so much better this way =)

Loves to make ‘zzz’ sounds, as if she’s blowing bubbles.
(read: not so cute when done during mealtime)

No stranger anxiety so far.

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Oh btw, this is how Vai looked like when he was 6 months old! =)

And, Anya just turned 3yo here!

Sigh. To think that those shots were taken FOUR-AND-A-HALF years ago makes me feel a little mellow.

Time keeps on ticking away, and the years fly by way too quickly.

And I tell myself, I must treasure my moments spent with them (yes, despite the fact that tough and frustrating parenting moments happen everyday)

Love you all!

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More readings on 6-month-old baby developments:

– Your baby at 6 months (ivillage.com)

– 6-month-old baby (whattoexpect.com)

– Age-by-age guide to feeding your baby (babycenter.com)

I guess it’s all very obvious: I am one who likes to capture simple daily moments spent with my family =)

Like when Anya and Vai were doing some drawing and painting.

Or when Wilson’s choosing which fish he’s going to buy and later cook for dinner.

Or even when Brie was sleeping in a sling (just so that in years to come I can remember how ‘small’ she once was =)

To capture such everyday moments, I’ve almost always brought along my Canon Powershot S90 with me.

Well, right until I own an iphone, that is =)

What I particularly appreciate about iphones is their many useful apps! Photography ones especially, because they really make capturing and sharing treasured moments so much faster and easier!

There are a few photo apps that I really like, and I plan to share them with you every once in a while.

For today, I’ll share with you this iphone app called ‘Leme Cam’!

If you’re not familiar with what ‘Leme Cam’ can do, let me just say … I loveeee my Leme Cam app! =)

I just point and shoot, and I’d get the kind of look and feel I like.

No editing!

This app has a few camera, lens and frame options. But, I usually just have it fixed at this setting below:

Camera : LemeLeme
Lens: Fallen Angel
Frame: White Standard

All photos in this post were taken with my Leme Cam app, using the above setting.

I like.

=)

I still think my Canon Powershot S90 takes better quality photos and videos. It’s relatively light and compact too. But it’ll now go out with me only when I bring along my big bag too. Or, when we’re going to an event or something.

Otherwise, I think my iphone can do the job well enough.

Anyway.

‘Leme Cam’ app is available for FREE at App Store.

Have fun capturing moments spent with your loved ones!

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PS:  I thought I should add that I purposely choose to NOT switch on my ‘location services’ (accessible on your iphone Setting) for Leme Cam, Facebook, etc. Will share more about this in another blog post.

WOOHOO!

We’re jumping for joy!

*And still kind of in the state of disbelief, actually =)*

Everyone, … Our Everyday Things has been shortlisted and is in the FINALS under ‘Best Parenting Blog’ category!!

Couldn’t believe it when I got the phone call!

=)

You see, two years ago, when the Awards was held for the first time, my blog was in the top five finals under the same blog category. Didn’t win the Awards, but I sure felt so privileged to have been in the finals and to have met great Mom bloggers in person!

This year, the Awards is here again for the second time, and the Awards Night will be held in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!

And, I must say this, for Our Everyday Things to be in the finals again together with the other blogs selected from across the Asia Pacific … I’m honoured! Really honoured!

*Big thanks to the organiser, the judges, and everyone of you who nominated me! THANK YOU!*

Voting phase will start tomorrow (Tuesday, 15 Nov), and I really REALLY hope to get heaps of support from you all!

You can vote everyday, actually every TWO HOURS, till November 27th! =)

(There’ll be a voting widget on the right sidebar, and for more info on how to vote, please click HERE)

[Brie: Thinking of reasons why people should vote for Mom’s blog =)]
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Now. I’m supposed to answer this question and share it here :

“Why should people vote for your blog?”.

Here’s my reply:

I blog regularly amidst my day to day busy-ness as a Mom of three
NOT because I have lots of free time on my hands,
and definitely NOT because I ‘know it all’,
but because I hope to share what I observe, what I learn, and what I believe and practise everyday, reaching out to as many people out there as possible with pro-family messages.

I shoot, I write and I blog regularly – for nearly 7 years now – because I hope what I share can also inspire and move others positively.

I feel children grow *too* fast, and so as I treasure my parenting journey and capture precious moments with my little ones, I hope what I share can somewhat be helpful to others too.

I personally believe life is filled with many blessings. Life with children is beautiful, and the ups and downs of motherhood make one’s life more meaningful, …  more ‘colourful’ =)

Basically,
I love what I do!

And I’m so grateful that I get to do what I do.

So, if you vote for Our Everyday Things, and IF this blog won the Best Parenting Blog title, it’ll get to grow a little bit more, reaching out to more, and hopefully making positive impacts to readers, to families, and hopefully to the society, and … to the world.

Hope you can support and vote for us!!

Thanks, everyone! =)