Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Dear Brie,

Oh my. You are ONE year old today!

Which means, exactly a year ago I was at the hospital waiting, texting, waiting, facebook-ing, receiving lots of well-wishes and prayers, induced, waiting, in pain, on gas, in more pain, and finally was greeted by you, our baby no. 3 in our little family.

I remember how you’re the tiniest out of all three (at 3.2kg), and how I often felt you’re so fragile and small in my hands.

I remember how you’re all yellowish due to a rather high level of jaundice and how after daily sunbathing, waking you up for breastfeeding every 2 hours (you were very sleepy and refused to feed!) and constant prayers, you’re all clear within a month.

(Btw, the hospital staff was ‘very surprised’ when we decided to bring you back home instead of leaving you at the hospital for phototherapy. We felt it was the right thing to do at the time and we were right)

Months passed by and I remember how you smiled for the first time, how you giggled and laughed out loud when you’re 3.5 months old! We had it on video too that night, and my, it was such a treasured moment! Your sis and bro giggled so happily next to you whenever they heard you laughed =)

Yes, you are indeed blessed with a sister and a brother who both adore and love you very much.

There were times when you’re unwell too. You were feverish, coughed and because you had trouble breathing well (read: wheezing), we had you nebulised, which we found is the best way to tackle your breathlessness so far.

And within a month after you arrived here in Jakarta, you had fever, diarrhea and vomited too, which lasted for a good one week. You lost some weight, but hey, you’re well again, and I’m sure you’re stronger too after such an episode.

Yes, you are really blessed with friends and families who cared and prayed for your health too.

And look at you now!

Eight teeth altogether, standing up all on your own, cruising, giggling, and loving your playtime with your brother and sister (and, errr … you now know very well how to spew your food and drinks all over the place too, which really is not fun, especially for me)

Happy 1st birthday, our dearest Brie.

You will not remember how things were like in your first year, which exactly is why I dedicate this blog post especially for you.

Because, I wish for you to read this one day and see how we love you very much, and how God watches and cares for you every single day.

God loves you a lot and we feel very blessed to have been entrusted with a little baby Brie in our family.

May you grow up knowing, trusting and loving your Creator, and be a blessing to many.

…

PS: You received LOTS of birthday wishes, especially on my Facebook, and I’ve thanked them, on your behalf =)

I love seeing my children play with each other gently and kindly.

The thing is, it doesn’t always happen.

Especially between the two older ones.

(They say, siblings who are closer in age tend to get on each other’s nerves more often, yes?)

Having said that though, I strongly believe that, as parents we CAN proactively encourage better sibling relationships in the family when the children are taught to be loving, gentle and kind towards each other. Since young.

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Here are 5 things that I personally feel we should avoid when it comes to encouraging positive sibling relationships in the family:

1. No favouritism please

Because children CAN sense it when we favour one child over another.

 2. Don’t encourage one child to go against another

This includes, not encouraging any ‘negative talks’ about another sibling.

3. Never ‘gang up’ with one child and go against another child

Wanting to prove one child wrong by pointing fingers at him together with another sibling? NOBODY likes that. Not even us ourselves.

4. Avoid negative talks about one child in front of another

This is kinda tricky because our kids may still be around to listen when we really want to share something that’s happened earlier (eg. a child’s bad behaviour) to our spouse. Need to learn to put a few things on hold, for the better. Not easy.

5. Avoid making comparisons between siblings 

Because we all know, such remarks are damaging.

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How do YOU encourage loving relationships at home? Any other ‘encouraging good sibling relationships’ tips to share? 

Hello World!!

I’m SO excited to share this news with you!

After wanting to change my blog look for the longest time, it’s finally UP!

*YAY!*

And and.

My online video channel is finally ready as well!

*WOOHOO!* =)

I’ve decided to call it ‘Our Channel’, since I think ‘Our Everyday Things Channel’ is a little too mouthful for everyone =)

(On Youtube, the URL is http://www.youtube.com/watchourchannel, … come, come, … click and subscribe yeah! =)

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Gee, I’ve got so much to share. Okay, here they are one by one =)

– I’ve uploaded my first video series! Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, … yes, there are THREE short video clips where I talk about a parenting topic : Changing Behaviour versus Changing the Heart, in Bahasa Indonesia!

You can access all my videos from the ‘VIDEO’ link at the top too!

– I’ve included English subtitles!

(Now I know, doing subtitles is hard work! I plan to still insert English subtitles in my future videos so English-only viewers can understand the content too, but the subtitles may not be so … ‘detailed’? Hmm. We’ll see, I guess)

– These past few weeks have been a whole new learning journey for me, because I learned how to do the shoot and proper editing, doing everything all on my own! Totally had NO idea how to do all this before! So, you can only imagine how super happy I felt when I managed to get my first 3 videos done and rendered! It was like, … FINALLY!! I actually DID IT! YAY!! =)

– I will still be blogging in English as usual, and I plan to have one video (be it a single clip or a video series) uploaded once a week! (So, do SUBSCRIBE to OUR CHANNEL yeah for updates whenever there are new videos! I know, I know, I’m repeating this often in this post, hehe =)

– Video topics will range from parenting thoughts and values, places to visit for the family, craft ideas for kids, health and women, reviews to interviews!

(You’re most welcome to share your comments and thoughts on the videos too. If you have ideas on topics that you’d like me to cover, do share with me those ideas too yeah!)

– After watching the clips, you’d notice that I’ve chosen to go with ‘Mom Leonny’ as my nick name.

You see, my kids are getting bigger, and so although they’ll still be on this blog, I’m gradually moving away from talking about them (especially ‘the older ones’). But, I’m still and always be a ‘Mom’, and sharing about family-related topics will always be something that’s close to my heart. So yes, I’ll continue to share family-related topics through my blog and video channel. And, I feel the nick name ‘Mom Leonny’ helps to identify me as someone who’s associated with parenting, family and children.

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Ah, anyway. I feel SO blessed to have been able to regularly blog for the past 7 years! It’s really amazing to have known so many new friends, online and offline, through blogging. And, to know that my blog has somewhat inspired others, the  joy is beyond words!

And now, I’m SO excited and happy too to be able to launch OUR CHANNEL!

I really hope these videos can be a blessing to many!

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Anyway.

Please, please do share my blog and OUR CHANNEL video links with others, … on Facebook, Twitter, etc =)

And, I know I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again … Come over and SUBSCRIBE to OUR CHANNEL yeah! =)

If you’re new Our Everyday Things, … welcome! *big wave* =)

Here’s where I share more photos and other updates, and how we can stay in touch too:

– Add me on Facebook

– Join Our Everyday Things Facebook Page

– Follow me on Twitter (English, @oureverydaythgs)

– Follow me on Twitter (Indonesian, @MomLeonny)

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Hope to have your support, everyone!

Big warm thanks from us, to you all! =)

Cheers!

On this Mother’s Day, I’d like to share the lyrics of this children song with you:

The Thankfulness Song (featured on the Veggie Tales)

I thank God for this day,
For the sun in the sky,
For my mom and my dad,
For my piece of apple pie!

For our home on the ground,
For His love that’s all around,
That’s why I say thanks every day!

Because a thankful heart is a happy heart!
I’m glad for what I have,
Thats an easy way to start!

For the love that He shares,
‘Cause He listens to my prayers,
That’s why I say thanks every day!

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This guy sang the song nicely, I thought =)

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How wonderful it is when thankfulness for life’s blessings (big and small) can naturally spring out from our heart and from our children’s hearts ALL THE TIME.

To be thankful for Mom and Dad.

To be thankful for our home and family.

To be thankful for our health and for our friends.

And most importantly, to be thankful for our God who’s so patient towards us, although we often forget to be thankful and faithful to Him.

If only we could ALWAYS remember to be thankful for life’s many blessings.

The reality however is, we SO need a constant reminder to be thankful, to be grateful.

We SO easily take our blessings for granted.

We SO easily forget to appreciate what we’ve always had.

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The children song above has very simple lyrics, simple enough to be memorised and sung by little ones. Simple enough for us adults to remember too.

On this Mother’s Day, let’s be thankful, not just for the mommies and for their love and sacrifice all these years, but also for life’s blessings we receive every single day.

God is good. All the time.

Let’s be thankful.

Happy Mother’s Day! And may you all have a wonderful week ahead too!

[Vai preparing breakfast for everyone]

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Decades ago they’d answer you with a No, I think.

Because the common value many people believed in at the time was: Cooking and the kitchen were more for the girls.

Well, what’s YOUR view?

Do you think boys should pick up a thing or two about kitchen-related activities?

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[Preparing a special dinner for the family – blogged in August 2010]

Thanks to the years my hubby spent away from his family (during his student days in Perth, Australia), I now have a hubby who can cook! (ie. He needed to cook his own meals, he earned some cash working part-time as a ‘kitchen hand’ in hotels and Italian restaurants, etc).

No, he’s not a GREAT cook who can prepare complicated dishes, but he can prepare simple pasta dishes for all of us (and quite a few other dishes too)  *Good enough for me*

And, you know what.

I personally think it’s awesome that he doesn’t mind being in the kitchen every now and then (read: washing the dishes, etc), especially at times when I’m really exhausted, not well, or simply need to attend to the kids, etc.

I appreciate the fact that my ‘load’ can sometimes be shared.

I appreciate the fact that my man can cook!

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Personally I feel it’s my duty as a parent to let my son see and learn that boys and girls CAN be in the kitchen, and that helping out in the kitchen is something that BOTH boys and girls can do.

Well, I don’t expect my kids to be ‘in love’ with cooking or baking (it’s fine if they have the passion, of course!).

I do hope though that they all know how to prepare a few simple dishes, enjoy helping out in the kitchen and being useful ‘contributors’ and members of the family (while learning more about ‘kitchen safety’ since young too).

After all, when it comes to men, women generally love husbands who can cook … no? =)

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PS: Do you involve your son in kitchen-related activities?

Oh my.

The baby in the family is turning ONE real soon! *yikes!*

Didn’t I just post newborn photos of her on my Facebook taken at the hospital?

Sigh. Too fast.

Okay, before she grows any faster (and my memory gets too rusty!), here’re some updates on our little girl:

– She cruises along well, holding onto furniture.

– She can let go and stand on her own quite well now. She took one wobbly step the other day!

– She has 6 teeth in total. Two at the top, four at the bottom.

– She likes to babble a lot as if she’s chatting away with us.

– She can wave ‘good bye’, and would move her body to the left and right when she listens to music or when we ask her to ‘dance’ =)

– She’s quite a fierce little girl who doesn’t let go off what she has in her hands. She’d grunt and shake her hands to keep the thing in her hands. And IF we manage to take it away, she’d scream and cry loudly, and often she’d approach us to try and see if she can still get it back.

– She has no stranger anxiety so far. She welcomes everyone who carries her, and she can fall asleep in the hands of someone else too.

– She can fall asleep on her own.

– She’s still breastfed and still rejects the idea of drinking formula from a bottle. Plan to introduce her to formula milk when she turns one. Perhaps she needs to be spoonfed. Or I may try to let her drink some from a straw cup (which she’s already using when she drinks water).

– She lost some weights when she had her first bouts of diarrhea and vomiting here in Jakarta last week, for a good 7 days (plan to blog about it separately).

– She started to have double eyelids somehow when she was unwell! =) And I thought she looked so different with two bigger eyes, hehe. Now that she’s back to her healthy self, the double eyelids have gone out the window too somehow =)

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I can hardly believe that our baby Brie is turning one so soon!

I feel truly blessed to have been able to raise her day in and day out throughout her first growing up year though.

We love her so much and we hope when she’s all grown up, she’d look at this blog and see how she has a loving family, and how she’s wonderfully showered by God’s grace and love too. Every day.

Love you Brie!

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PS: I plan to bake her first birthday cake. With utensils still in our boxes somewhere, err, wish me luck!

When you have more than one child, it’s interesting how you get to see the difference in their characters. Since birth.

One hardly cried as a baby, and was a really easy sleeper (who could sleep through thunderstorms).

And the other, errr, as a baby he’d scream and fuss when we’re out and about, and would completely REFUSE to fall asleep UNLESS breastfed and/or carried in my sling.

One is more independent. The other, more clingy, and would ask for hugs every now and then.

One could ride a 2-wheel-bike when she’s 6.5yo. The other, at the age of 3.5yo.

One likes to write, the other would only write if we tell (repeatedly) him to.

I guess that what makes each child unique.

If God created NO two fingerprints the same, not even the stripes on two zebras, then how can we really expect our children to be like the other?

Or worse, like another child from ANOTHER family?

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So one thing I tell myself again and again is to avoid ever using sentences like,

‘Urgh! Why can’t you be like ____ ?’

‘Look! ______ can do it, why CAN’T YOU do it?’

Often though, as parents we are faced with situations when we really feel like uttering such words to the kids. When we’re frustrated or simple fed-up with what the kids have done. I know I do get into such situations quite a bit.

Anyway.

To end the post, I’d like to share with you what I shared on the Our Everyday Things Facebook Page sometime back:

‘Before we utter those words out of our impatience towards our children, let’s stop & take a deep breath, because may be, those words are better left unsaid’.

A reminder to self, and hopefully to everyone.

Happy parenting, everyone.

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[Top photo]
Here’s our 5.5yo Vai and his drawing. He may not draw as ‘fine’ as his sister, and it’s totally alright. Btw, this is the story behind his drawing according to him:
On the left side is all the people fishing along a jetty. An electric eel and a snake on the bottom left. And of course, people surfing away out in the ocean =)

As a parent, I struggle with this topic very often.

I agree and realise that we all are selfish beings. We are sinners and we are all born selfish (yes, from the moment a baby cries ‘Waaaahhh’, he does not know just yet the concept of putting other people’s needs ahead of his own).

I know that little babies need time to develop, grow up and learn what it means to not be ‘selfish’.

I know we cannot ‘expect‘ children them to live out a life that’s un-selfish at a young age, and this is regardless of how consistent we parents are in teaching them this value.

I know it’s part of growing up.

Thing is, knowing all that does not mean I always understand my kids’ selfishness though.

I admit, lately I often feel irritated easily whenever I see displays of selfishness at home. I tell the older ones off and I am just less patient with them. I somehow feel, tired. It’s like ‘Really, … haven’t I been teaching you this, ALL THESE YEARS?’

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After I reflected on what’s been happening, I think the main issue is actually … me and my expectations.

I’m guilty of this.

I mean, I really should learn to be more understanding and not feel upset easily when my older kids display selfishness very often. They’re after all learning to apply what they’ve been taught, and we all know it doesn’t happen ‘overnight’. Plus, it’s not that I myself am THAT selfless.

Anyway.

I’ve been reading up quite a bit on this topic, and I’d like to share with you some excerpts from Dr Kevin Leman’s book (‘Have a New Kid by Friday’).

– Kids, by their nature, are selfish, having little ‘social interest’ in anyone else. All they care about is themselves. Life is truly ‘all about me’.

– Every parent has a responsibility to guide their child towards selfless behaviour and thinking of others. In my seminars, I ask parents, ‘Why do we stop at stop-lights?’

‘Because it’s the law, and you don’t want to get a ticket,’ they usually say.

‘The best answer’, I say, “is that we stop so we don’t hurt someone else.’

Note the difference between the two answers – and the fact that the unselfish answer is NOT the first one that came up. All of us are selfish. We live in a self-driven society.

– When you teach a child not to be selfish, you’re actually teaching him to be anti-societal, to be UNLIKE everyone else. But why do you want your child to be like everyone else anyway?

– Modeling giving as a family and as an individual to those who are less fortunate than you is very important.

– Children model what they’ve experienced at home. If you create an environment where children feel loved and accepted for who they are, and they are a part of giving back to your family, then when they leave your home and go out on their own, guess what happens? They do what they’ve been doing in their own home!

– Teach your child selflessness. Then she’ll emerge into society as a giver, not a taker.

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I thought about this a lot lately, and I tell myself that I need to continually learn the art of ‘instilling values’ and ‘guiding’ my kids consistently, lovingly and firmly WITHOUT expecting a ‘quick result’.

Again, there is NO shortcut. Instilling values WILL take years and decades.

And, I need God’s mercy and grace to change my heart and my children’s hearts (a sinful heart that focuses on self all the time, etc).

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Yes, it IS possible to still encourage selflessness in today’s self-driven society. Let’s start with us and our family.