Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Think of someone you really respect and love.

If that someone has passed away a few years ago, will you make Covid-19 jokes about the funeral, the people who came to the funeral, or anything that’s related to that person?

Personally, I won’t.
It’s equivalent to mockery.
And it’s disrespectful.

Certain things are not to be made a joke of. Surely not the death and sacrifice of Christ.

It is not about NOT having any sense of humour.

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Truly sad and very disturbing (to me personally) to see how Covid-19 jokes are made about Someone who died for me and millions of others some 2000 years ago.

All soldiers were to wear facial masks.
All executioners have undergone PCR tests.
Go and watch the crucifixion LIVE at home to avoid getting infected by the virus.

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What’s worse, jokes were also made by the very people who say they ‘believe and follow Him’, i.e. Subsequent jokes are made by many on social media, as a response to the said Twitter account. This is what puzzles (disturbs) me the most.

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Sigh.

But then again, it was written,

“They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

(Matthew 27:28-31)

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The Man being mocked and joked around right now died, bled, and suffered to pay for the punishments you and I should’ve received.

May we all repent and be forgiven.

Levi took part in his first tournament in the year 2021.

(He is 14.5yo now, btw)

“Why didn’t he join any earlier?”, some may wonder.

Because he needed to focus on his trainings first.

Earlier this year, he started training under a different coach (who trains Indonesia’s national tennis team).

Going beyond ‘tennis strokes’, and more on developing physical endurance and strategies, and having the right mentality while on the court.

And yes, at today’s tournament, we are grateful for opportunities where Levi self-discovers his limits, learns to observe challenges, plans next strategies while facing hardships and pressures.

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Too often parents who send their children to explore certain sports more seriously place emphasis on ‘winning tournaments’.

Winning is the goal.

As for us, though, we believe it is NOT about aiming to win.

It’s more about working hard on small things.

Deliberately.

Consistently.

Making each ball count.

Results will follow.

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(Interesting isn’t it how we should view life in a similar way, too, i.e. Make each moment count, train ourselves daily and make deliberate efforts, consistently.)

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Anyway.

Here’s a quick video of his first win at the tournament.

Ever heard of this story?

Have a read.

A mouse was put at the top of a jar. The jar was filled with grains.

The mouse was SO happy to have found so much food because he no longer needed to run around looking for food.

“I could finally live a happy life! No more work!”

After a few days of enjoying the grains, the mouse reached the bottom of the jar!

Now he’s trapped and couldn’t get out of it.

What happened next?

To survive, to simple LIVE, the mouse now had to totally depend on others, who would put grains in his jar.

The mouse might not get the grains he liked and he could not choose either. (His life soon ended when the “giving of grains” stopped)

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Lessons learned:

1) Beware of short term pleasures/comfort. When we choose to stay in such comfort zone (and NOT find ways to work/generate income, etc.), it can lead to long-term “traps” or dependency (Getting benefits/help/support from the government/parents/in-laws, e.g.)

2) When we choose to NOT continually develop/sharpen our skills, we will lose potential opportunities. We can lose our choices, our freedom, our independence.

3) Nothing is free in life (except for God’s grace and gifts!).
If someone gives us “freebies”, there is most likely SOMETHING else that they’d expect from us (i.e. Not all freebies should be accepted)

4) Parents, do NOT spoil your children by:
– sparing your children from difficulties (“Oh, you poor thing, let the helper do it for you!”, “Don’t do it, you’ll fall and hurt yourself. Let me do it!”, “Let the driver carry your backpack for you.”)

– giving them everything that they want

– always giving them things without much wait/efforts (because they’ll grow up thinking that things should come easy in life, and a little hardship in life “later” can easily lead to frustration and depression)

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What other lessons from this “Mouse in a Jar story” can you add to the list?

I asked my soon-to-be 17yo eldest,
“How do teens in general prefer to be treated by their parents?”

“Hmm … this is for teens in general? Let’s see …”

*pause*

Then she gave me these two points in no order of preference:

1. Don’t scold us in front of our friends

2. Don’t just go and check our phones (please give us some privacy)

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I asked, “Do you feel that we do those to you?”

“No, but this is for teens in general, right? I have seen my classmate getting badly scolded by his parent during our Zoom class, when his mic was not muted. I feel so sorry for him.”

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“Any other points that you can think of that you can share with other parents of teens? How about: don’t negatively comment about the teen’s friends?”

“I am fine with that. I guess that’s a problem when teens are closer to their friends and regard them as family, more than their own family?”

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Our conversation ended soon because she had to get back to doing her school work.

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy chatting with my eldest.

I’m not saying that I have no struggles in raising her, but in general, things are so much better ‘now’ than … say, when she was younger than 10 years old.

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Have you tried asking your teens about how they would prefer things done towards them?

Other than the fact that interacting with REAL friends and teachers is WAY better than over the computer screen, we are adapting alright with this whole online school idea.

As a mom, I especially cherish the extra time I get to spend with the kids every day.

(Especially since Anya is in her final years of high school and will most probably study somewhere outside of Indonesia – if God is willing, this extra time to be with her before she leaves home is precious!)

Anyway.

Here are some captured moments during their ‘online school’ days (which I know they’ll treasure, not now, but many years from today)

I’ve heard of mint leaves and I’ve seen others drink tea with mint leaves in it.

But I hardly know much about the benefits of mint leaves, until today.

To name a few:
– Excellent source of Vitamin A (potentially lower the risk of conditions like cataracts, diarrhoea, measles, and breast cancer)
– Soothe symptoms of common cold

Read more about the benefits of mint water:
https://www.webmd.com/diet/mint-water-good-for-you#1

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What Vai had:
mint leaves (lots of it!) dipped in warm water.

(He said the glass looks like an aquarium! Haha!)

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Note: As with all other things, consume in moderation.

Tears are part of our life.

But in many cases, there can be LESS tears in life when we avoid wrong choices.

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“What do you mean?”, you may ask.

Here are some simple examples.

Let’s say the street outside our home is badly flooded, and yet we still decide to go out and drive our sedan through the flood. In the end, the flood water went into our car, the engine is somehow damaged, and it costs us a lot of money to fix it.

Another common one would be:

Everyone has warned you against ‘the man you plan to marry’, because he physically and emotionally abuses you when you have a fight. You still choose to marry him anyway, thinking that he can surely change and control his temper.

(Of course, he doesn’t.)

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May God help us all and give us the needed wisdom to make the right choices in life.

And so we spent Chinese New Year in a different way this year.

With masks on, and video calls to the bigger family!

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Here’s wishing everyone a blessed new year, and a safe one, too!