Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Recently I saw an article that talked about a Mom who physically abused her one year old baby.

It was caught on video, and she’s said to have physically abused her crying baby for about four minutes.

And the baby, … *sigh* one of the commenters who watched the video said that the baby, still crying after being hit again and again by the Mom, still stretched out her/his arms towards the Mom.

It just showed how babies – however cranky, difficult, seemingly unreasonable and loud they can sometimes be – they have this immense need to be loved.

Now, THAT broke my heart.

I didn’t know whether that’s the baby’s real Mom, or the babysitter.

Whoever that lady was, the baby’s gesture just showed how babies – however cranky, difficult, seemingly unreasonable and loud they can sometimes be – they have this immense need to be loved.

Babies don’t understand – just yet – about what’s really going on in their world.

To them, WE are their world.

They learn about the world through us, their parents.

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I refused to watch the video.

I knew I would be very disturbed.

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Brie’s been more difficult lately, crying, refusing to nap and screaming more often than usual.

After reading the article, I went to check on Brie who’s fallen asleep on my bed.

I sat and watched her.

Her smooth baby cheeks. The gentle breathing. The peaceful rest she’s having.

Brie’s been more difficult lately, crying, refusing to nap and screaming more often than usual.

My guess is, she’s probably teething.

I held her little hand.

And while still asleep, she tightened up her grip and held mine.

Ah babies.

You are born with a need to be loved.

May God give us parents the perseverance, patience and love that we need, so we can in turn love these little ones whom HE has entrusted in our care.

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“Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from HIM.”
James 127:3

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Have a blessed Sunday, everyone!

The other weekend we drove out of the city of Jakarta for a few hours and checked out Cijeruk, West Java!

We’re there for three days.

I LOVE the fact that we finally could be away from the busy metropolitan city and see MORE of nature!

Tall trees. Plantations. Bushes. Mountains. Fresh air!

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When we’re there, we went hiking in search of a waterfall called ‘Curuq Cibadak’!

(Being city kids, both Anya and Vai have NEVER went hiking. They never knew what it’s like being in the ‘bush’, walking and treading on rocks and pebbles! Which made this hiking adventure even more ‘necessary’ for them, I thought! =)

I’ll post more photos and a video of this trip real soon!

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For now, here’re two reasons why I thought our 2-hour hiking adventure gave Anya and Vai valuable life lessons: 

1) The kids learn to keep on going, though the going gets tough at times! 

They got scratches from the bushes. Some rocks did seem very hard to climb over too! But then we’re like, oh it’s okay … let’s keep on walking.

As the path towards the waterfall got steeper and narrower, they did slip and fall a few times. They got scratches from the bushes. Some rocks did seem very hard to climb over too!

But then we’re like, oh it’s okay … let’s keep on walking.

They walked on their own, holding their own sticks (made them feel more like a ‘climber’ perhaps =). And sometimes we gave them a little push, or held their hands as we crossed a very narrow path.

What’s important is, they kept on walking. 

(I too appreciate the fact that during the hike, the kids got to see their Mommy and Daddy also going through tough obstacles, but never giving up / complaining at any point =)

2) The kids were CLOSER to nature. They saw plants and some animals a little closer. They got mud on their legs and feet and NOT able to clean it up immediately too! =)

And when we finally reached the waterfall, they happily dipped their legs in the icy cold water.

This experience, I believe, allowed them (and us!) to feel less resistance towards nature, which may otherwise seem very ‘foreign’ to us who spend very little time out in the ‘real outdoors’.

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City kids (and parents) need to get more of such exposure, I think.

Btw, as a ‘city mom’, I too learned to keep quiet (read: Resist the temptation to say ‘No’), when they wanted to feel the waters and get WET – waist down! (Because you see, we had NO spare clothes, etc)

Since I wanted to let the kids ‘feel’ and enjoy nature more, if their bums felt cold and damp … it’s FINE, I told myself!

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Anyway.

City kids (and parents) need to get more of such exposure, I think.

Because lessons can be learned outside the four walls of a classroom,

and life lessons are best learned when experienced by us ourselves, … yes?

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Can’t wait till our next outdoor adventure!

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[All photos in this post are taken by hubby]

Calling out to Indonesians, in whichever part of the world you are  … Indonesia now has its own quality internet television called TELIOS.TV!

And, … Our Channel – yes, my recently launched online video channel – is part of the many programmes shown there too! =)

(Hurry up, and sign up for FREE! Click HERE to create your account =)

Instead of browsing through Youtube for quality content and videos, you’ll only need to browse through Telios.TV to find good stuff!

Telios TV is what we are working on here in Indonesia, and we’re excited about it because unlike the usual internet television where you mostly get entertainment news, Telios TV and its content aim to always educate, motivate, inspire and transform!

Instead of browsing through Youtube for quality content and videos, you’ll only need to browse through Telios.TV to find good stuff!

You’ll find local experts (Eg. Top business owners, celebrity cook, movie makers, professional marketer and consultants) sharing tips and their expertise through interviews too, which really is a rare thing to find right here in Indonesia.

So excited to have this ‘from Indonesians’ and ‘to Indonesians’ project!

Anyway.

Go, check it out and sign up for free yeah! =)

Click HERE to ‘like’ its Facebook Page

Click HERE to browse Telios.TV!

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Pssttt … Our Channel and Telios TV will soon bring to Indonesians ‘giveaways’ and other promos too! Can’t spill the beans just yet though!

They’re all coming REAL soon!

So excited! =)

We have this hot topic going on over on my Facebook right now.

I posted a shot of this Sunday Times article (courtesy of a fellow mom) and wrote something along this line:

There’s an increasing trend of children attending 2 kindergartens daily. One attends a kindy in the morning, gets picked up, has lunch and is dropped off to attend another kindy in the afternoon. Parents who choose to do this generally said that it’s to give their kids ‘the best of both worlds’.

I have my personal thoughts on this matter, but I’d like to know YOUR opinion on this. 

Parents, non-parents, in Singapore and outside of Singapore, what say you?

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There are lots of comments left on my Facebook and here are some of them that I’d like to highlight today: 

JD:
Lol…I cannot believe this. What sort of worlds are parents wanting their kids to experience. The best world a kid can get is to have that precious time with their parents and experience love, acceptance, guidance and play.

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SL:
Just thinking how would the parents themselves would have liked it if they had to work 16 instead of 8 hours daily. “Scared to lose out”, their bosses would say.

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XX:
I think it’s the parents that are happy with the arrangements. So that they can have their own time. 
Best of both worlds? I think the child’s mind might be even more “limited” with them being confined to the 4 walls/inside classroom everyday.

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BdB:
I guess some ppl are left with no choice… as long as the parents are not having kiasuness in their mind set and not to stress the kid,this may be an alternative to not going to a childcare???

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SYC:
Parents may think that they are giving their child the best of both worlds – but i question what sort of world they are talking about… i believe that children who grow up in such an environment will invest too much of their worth as students and if they fail there or if they are not the top, then their self-esteem & sense of self-worth will greatly decrease & this may (not saying it will always happen) lead to them being depressed & feeling worthless & even (i pray not) ending their lives just because they did not get the best results in their academic achievements… there is more to life than academics & parents have to teach their children that or else… i fear what society would become if this becomes the norm…

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These days the pressure to perform is getting even higher than before, and children are the ones getting caught in this ‘rat race’.

I’d say, not only in Singapore, but also here in Jakarta.

(read: Children who attend only one kindergarten also have a packed schedule filled with tuitions and enrichment classes to attend every single day)

To NOT join this ‘kiasu-ism’ (as some would call it), I really think one will need a strong, a very strong ‘belief and value system’ that’s supported by loved ones too!

And when parents live in such a performance and achievement-driven society, where their friends’ kids are also attending many classes and tuitions, the ‘strong tendency’ is of course … to ‘follow the flow’.

After all, parents generally wouldn’t want their kids to be ‘incapable’ and ‘left behind’, yes?

(If kids who are similar in age to ours can already read and write, eg. At 4 – 5yo, we parents tend to feel the ‘pressure’ and wonder if our kids would be ‘left behind’ and consequently NOT ‘ready’ for Primary One later)

Naturally, it’s a tough situation to be in, I think.

And to NOT join (unconsciously / consciously) this ‘kiasu-ism’ (as some would call it), I really think one will need a strong, a very strong ‘belief and value system’ that’s supported by loved ones too!

Because ultimately, whatever it is that we decide for our children, the children will just ‘accept’ our decision (and its long-term life consequences), yes?

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And, here’s my personal take on this issue :

Every family is unique and perhaps this arrangement is considered as ‘better’ than seeing the kids ‘do nothing at home’ (eg. When both parents work fulltime from morning to late night every single day)

For my own family though, I choose to be a stay at home mom. I have my own sets of values and beliefs, and both Wilson and I would not want to join in the rat race in such a way.

My main three reasons :

– Our children will spend about 15 years at ‘formal school’, starting from Primary 1 to University. So, if their more-than-5-hours-a-day ‘formal learning’ has started so very early in life, will the love for learning really last through out their ‘busy school days’?

Also, when school work and demands get tougher, the tendency is, our kids will start to feel and see ‘learning as a chore’. When that happens, we will then be there to encourage them to keep on going and learn to persevere, ie. When they’re already at the age where they HAVE to attend school and bear the ‘age-appropriate work load’.

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There WILL be a time when our kids need to spend many hours at school and be away from us. We simply do not wish for our already so limited time with them gets further ‘discounted’. 

– When kids attend so many classes at such a young age, that automatically means they have to be away from us their parents for so many hours a day. And we wouldn’t want that, because to us, our time with them is limited and we need to urgently make use of that limited time (while they’re still very young and in need of our presence even more) and spend it with them, instilling values, nurturing relationships (especially between us and them and between siblings), and simply … being together.

There WILL be a time when our kids must spend many hours at school and be away from us. We simply do not wish for our already so limited time with them gets further ‘discounted’, especially NOT earlier than it’s supposed to.

Plus, we believe the younger the children, the shorter their concentration and attention span anyway, and the more rest-time and playtime they need.

(Note: Spending 3 hours a day, Monday to Friday, at the age of four, is fine with us, ie. When they entered Nursery school)

‘Success in life’, ‘happiness’, and ‘abilities to overcome life’s struggles’ interestingly have no relevance to one’s academic achievements and skills.

– Over the years and decades, studies have shown how there’s not much difference between children who ‘start early academically’ and those who start to read and write when they’re 7 years old.

‘Success in life’, ‘happiness’, and ‘abilities to overcome life’s struggles’ interestingly have no relevance to one’s academic achievements and skills.

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When it comes to parenting, we know we both are far from perfect, and we’ve made mistakes too. But when it comes to decisions on school and how packed our young children’s days should be (especially prior to them entering Primary One), this is the choice and approach we definitely will make for our own three children.

And I guess that means we’ll have to learn to be tough and go ‘against the flow’?

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Any thoughts to share?

Sometime ago I wrote about how I miss the outdoors here in Jakarta!

Within the city of Jakarta itself, families with children tend to be indoors more often (read: shopping malls or at home)

So, in our ‘quest’ to find more greenery and explore the outdoors a little more here in Jakarta, we checked out this place called ‘Taman Jogging Summarecon Kelapa Gading‘!

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And what’s my  impression?

Well, I cannot compare this park (and its equipments / surrounding) to those clean and well-maintained ones back in Singapore.

Because outdoor parks really are not commonly found here in Jakarta!

So, to have one like this, I think it’s already VERY good, for Jakarta’s standard!

Anyway, we took out the kids’ rollerblades and both Anya and Vai had a good exercise around the place!

The first time they’re on their rollerblades out in the open again!

(Yes, they’re happy! =)

And, while there may not be McDonald’s around the park, hey hey hey … we do have easy access to cheap food and drinks at the car park area just across the park! =D

TIPS:
Avoid going to the park in the early evening. The mosquitoes are amazingly A LOT!

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Btw, any recommendations to other outdoor parks here in Jakarta? 

We always hear about how parenting is full of joy and happiness.

How children are a bundle of joy.

How life with children is beautiful.

(I mean, that’s what I’ve always hoped to share with readers too through my blog all these years)

BUT.

Talk backs. Rudeness. Indifference. Rolling of eyes. Ignorance. Intentional disobedience. Total unappreciation.

Today I’d like to also share how life with children is not only full of ups.

It also has its downs.

One thing that I’ve been feeling a lot lately, for example, is that … our children may not always be loving towards us.

There are times (sometimes they happen frequently too, depending on their age and developmental phase) when they are not at their ‘better’ behaviour towards us.

Talk backs. Rudeness. Indifference. Rolling of eyes. Ignorance. Intentional disobedience. Total unappreciation.

It can be draining, mentally and emotionally.

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Being a fulltime mom of three, I personally feel one of the tough things about being a parent is, … learning to be :

… COOL-HEADED and PATIENT (not easily angered or emotional, and think things through before reacting to challenging situations)

… JUST and WISE  (knowing how to best address different tough situations presented by different kids, knowing when and how much ‘disciplinary actions’ that’re to be given to every child who’s misbehaved / rude / disrespectful, because every child is unique and we can’t treat them all ‘exactly the same’)

… LOVING (ie. Still showing love towards the child even when he/she probably hasn’t shown the ‘expected’ love / respect towards us earlier)

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When things do get very tough with the kids, there are times when I do feel like giving up.

When things do get very tough with the kids, there are times when I do feel like giving up.

When I look at my older kids’ behaviours, there are times when I feel mad, sad and plain discouraged, because I feel like I’ve somehow failed in teaching them anything right or good.

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Having said that, so am I saying that life with children is therefore not beautiful then?

Actually, no.

To me, life with children IS beautiful, regardless.

Because children and their attitudes (good or bad) allow us to learn to be a better person.

They remind us how we’re often more clueless than we thought.  

Our children may drive us mad and sad, but when that happens, isn’t that when we’re called to learn how to overcome each and every challenge, one step at a time too?

Plus, children are children, and WE are the adults. They are growing up and their negative attitudes are often short-lived (though it often recur!)

(Btw, I can write all this because the episodes are over for the day, and the kids are all in bed. Which means I have some time to be alone, to think things through, and to reflect)

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Here’s one more thing that I’d like to share :

If I could appreciate life with children, if I could sail through tough parenting challenges, it’s only because God gave me the needed strength and mercy.

I learn to depend not on myself, but upon God’s help. Because really, I could never do it all on my own.
So, am I saying that life with children is therefore not beautiful then? Actually, no.

Whenever I feel like breaking down completely, HE’d lift me up and encourage me. And encouragements may come from a verse, a friend, a song, or even the kids themselves who suddenly become ‘better’ the very next day.

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Anyway.

These past few days, I’m learning a lot.

Just like when we went hiking the other weekend (top photo), I’m learning to keep on going too, even when the going gets tough and the minutes and hours in a particular day seem very long.

May God help me, and every parent out there who may be struggling too.

Every single day.

It’s been quite a long while since I last shared a post on ‘Arts and Crafts’!

Actually the kids and I have been doing quite a few random activities since we moved to Jakarta, but … there are just sooo many photos and ideas to share, sooo many stories and posts too. But alas, too many things I wish I could do, too little time!

Now. Getting back to this activity idea for kids, I’d like to share this simple idea with you today!

We made our own self-drawn jigsaw puzzles! =)

(One simple example of how children don’t need expensive things to be entertained?)

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About this activity idea:  

– Simple to make

– Kids get to have a sense of ‘ownership’ because they’re the ones who created them!

– The idea can be further explored : when we wish to introduce ‘jigsaw-puzzle-solving’ activity to a growing, curious toddler (eg. Making a simple 3-4 piece jigsaw puzzles using a used cereal box)

– Does not cost anything much (and can always be tossed away after a few good plays)

What we did:

– Using a drawing block, draw ‘jigsaw lines’ (bigger shapes for younger kids, ie. less jigsaw pieces)

– Let the kid draw on the other side of the drawing block.

– Once the drawing is done, cut the lines out

And that is it!

Tips: 

– The more colourful the drawing, the better

– Draw bigger shapes that can be easily identified and put together, eg. animal shapes

– The less ‘white space’ on the drawing block, the better, because it’ll make it easier for the child to put the jigsaw pieces together once they’re all cut out

This is Anya’s very own jigsaw puzzles =)

The blue scribbles, the colourful animals and plants made it a little easier for anyone who’d like to put the pieces together.

Have fun making things with your little ones, everyone!

I had my 36th birthday recently (yeah yeah, I am THAT young, haha).

We had a big family gathering, a nice birthday dinner, and a birthday cake bought for me too!

Having been living away from my family for more than 2 decades, … yes, it’s nice to have such a ‘celebration’ with the big family.

And talking about birthday cakes, … do you know anyone who makes cakes for his/her own birthdays?

I do!

And I’m always wowed by them, because errr, … I simply find it too time consuming and troublesome to make a cake for myself  =)

I’d probably just go out and buy a small one, hehe.

But, spending the time and effort to make a cake for my own family? Sure!

(I know I’m a total amateur, not a baker nor a decorator, but I hope my kids get to see how their Mommy makes the effort in attempting to make something personal for them on their special day)

And btw, here are some of my past experimental birthday cakes :

I know I’m a total amateur, not a baker nor a decorator, but I hope my kids get to see how their Mommy makes the effort in attempting to make something personal for them on their special day 

– Anya’s 6 bithday cake 

– Hubby’s birthday cake

– Vai’s 4th birthday cake 

– Anya’s 7th birthday cake

– Vai’s 5th birthday cake

(PS: Didn’t bake any cake for Anya this year as it coincided with our big move to Jakarta. We bought mini donuts instead to share with her friends =)

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And and and. Sooo happy that I managed to make one for Brie’s birthday last May!

Brie’s first birthday cake made by Mommy! *YAY*

We had a ‘combined’ birthday gathering with my friends’ kids’ birthdays, and we had this arrangement : one friend baked the 3 cakes, I ‘decorated’ them all with fondant.

A one-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy and a 9-year-old girl.

One of my mad attempts again, I know.

BUT, hey hey hey … the cakes turned out looking alright, I think =)

Totally never thought of making more than one birthday cake at a time!

Yes, I slept very little for a few good days, but interestingly, when it’s all over, it felt … rewarding.

(It’s true when the Bible says, it’s more blessed to give than to receive!)

And, am so thankful too for this friend of ours – who’s also a Mom of three with no live-in domestic helper – who baked all three yummy cakes : Cheese, Strawberry and Chocolate!

You know, I’ll say … it’s random challenging episodes in life such as this that makes our lives as fulltime mommy even more interesting! =)