Anya & Vai : 20 months
That was how Anya looked like when she’s 20 months old.
And looking back at how she was at that age, and how Vai is right now, I can list down more of their differences than their similarities.
Like for example,
When faced with obstacles (eg. pushing a rather heavy door open):
Anya tends to call for help and needs our encouragements before she gathers enough courage and strength to give it a go herself
Vai will most likely just go for it
A talker or a walker:
Anya: a talker (who tends to remember little details well too)
Vai : a walker (who likes to sit down with crayons and paper too)
When told not to do something after an incident (eg. not to draw on the floor again):
Anya will most likely not do it again
(but then again, it really does depend on ‘what’ it is that we’re asking her not to repeat, because for the past few months, I’ve been repeating myself too much, reminding her to not drink her milk super slowly)
Vai tends to forget what we’ve been telling him again and again (!)
When they misbehave and we tell them off:
Anya – upon hearing our displeased verbal tone of voice – can break down and cry, feeling sorry for what she’s done
(again, this doesn’t quite apply to all circumstances, of course)
Vai hardly cries or shows any ‘remorse’ on his face
(But he can sometimes say ‘sorry’ and give me a pat on my arm or shoulder)
…
If you ask me, I think when we have more than one kid in the family, it’s nearly impossible for us not to compare them with one another.
We see how they develop differently, how they have similar or different characters and traits, how one starts crawling or talking at a younger age, etc.
To me, what’s more important is ‘what do we do’ AFTER we run a mental comparison of our kids in our head.
Do we talk about the kids’ weaknesses and differences negatively in front of our little ones themselves (and our friends?), degrading one and praising the other (even in a joking manner).
Or do we complain about one kid in front of the other, emphasising the strengths of one and expecting the other to perform ‘just like your sibling’
Thing is, we may have done it unconsciously before.
My hubby once reminded me to be careful with the way I talk about the kids when sharing about them with my friends, because usually kids do listen up quietly to our conversations.
Let’s be more mindful with our words when it comes to talking about (and in front of) our little ones.
Because the last thing we want to create within our family is an unhealthy competition and bitterness amongst siblings who’re supposed to be loving towards each other in the first place.
