Parenting: Loving Two. Loving Three.
I must admit.
One of the questions I asked myself after Wilson and I discussed about trying for baby no. 3 was: Can I actually divide my time, attention, energy and love to THREE kids?
You see, I thought about that question too when we planned to have baby no. 2.
I wondered if I could still care, love and pay enough attention to Anya, my first born, as much as I would love to, when number two came along.
Well, today that number two is four years old. And when I look at how things are during the past four years, I can say that we have loved them both the SAME.
Yes, no.1 does not get ALL of our time and attention like how it used to when we only had one child in the family. BUT, having no. 2 around does NOT mean we love no. 1 any less. At all.
In fact, when having more than 1 child in the family is possible, it allows the first child to enjoy what siblinghood is all about. And the ‘positives’ outweigh the ‘negatives’, if you ask me.
…
Okay. That’s about having two kids in the family.
But how about having three?
Caring and loving three kids IS a completely different thing.
Errr, isn’t it?
I mean, when you have two, I can hold one with one hand, and hold the other with my other hand.
When we go out, one can be with Daddy, and one can be with Mommy.
But how will it be when I have three?
Can we love, care and pay attention to the THREE kids as much as we’d love to? Because I surely don’t want to miss anyone out.
…
If you ask me, somehow I believe that we’ll work things out next year.
Don’t ask me HOW, because I’m eager to find out how it’ll be too next year!
(I guess, it’d be similar to how Wilson and I worked together, supported one another, and managed things out when we started having our second child in the family?)
Anyway.
Despite all those questions, there’re some things I can say for sure :
There will always be things about the future that we don’t know today. But if God has entrusted us with another child in the family, we both really believe that HE will also …
… give us the necessary strength to go through the ups and downs we’ll face each day
… provide for us what we need every day
… shower us with His faithfulness, patience and love so that we too can share what we have received from above with our little ones
…
Btw, did similar thoughts cross your mind too when you plan to have more than one child in the family?
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i never think so much, cause to me my main concern is whether i will be able to keep my baby, as pregnancies and giving birth to me were never ever easy.
Hi Corsage!
Thank you! 😀
Whoaaa … 4 kids? I came from a family of 4 kids, and I’ve never thought of having 4 myself 🙂 Never thought of having three too before this 🙂
If I may say, having two is great though, as the kids get to learn lots from each other. Having a sibling teaches each kid really a lot, about sharing, loving, caring for another etc. Yes, a handful for sure especially when they’re still young, but when they’re bigger (even like mine who’re 6 and 4yo), they play with each other a lot, and they keep each other company 🙂
Hi Andy:
I agree, … kids will at some point feel ‘neglected’, however we try our best to give them our love and attention. The same as how they’ll sometimes feel things are ‘unfair’ towards them, however fair the decisions are. It’s part of being / growing towards ‘maturity’ too.
Hi Sally,
Somehow I think, as long as the kids know how we love them all the same (no kid is ‘better’ in our eyes), they’ll be happy members of the family.
They may not always see our decisions as ‘fair’, although we have been as fair as possible. But then, they’ll understand this part later, when they’re all grown up and perhaps when they have kids of their own.
Hi Leonny! It has been some time since I’ve popped by your blog and am thrilled to read that you’re expecting your third child! Congratulations 🙂 Before I had Bubbles I used to declare that I would like 4 kids. Now, I’m thinking twice as I now realise just how much resources and energy a kid requires!
When no3 came, our no2 blosom into a “big responsible” brother. On the other hand, with parent’s best efforts, kids will (at some phases) still feel neglected 🙁
Leonny,
I must say that when we decided to have more than 1 child, we have to divide our love and attention for them but does not necesarily mean we love them any less ya? We may not be able to give them the full attention and love as much as it used to. I think But someday when they all grown up, your kids will realised that Hey, they DO love me afterall! 🙂 take care