On her own
With about 5.5 months to go until Baby no.2 comes, I’m trying my best to get Anya become more independent.
Stuff like: getting her own shoes from the cabinet and putting them on herself before we all go out. Taking out our clean clothes from the washing machine while I hang them out to dry. Tidying up her toys after she plays with them. Taking off her top and pants herself and putting them in the laundry basket. Eating (most of) her meals all on her own. And so far I think for a 2-year-old toddler, she’s been quite good *smile*
I also make sure I appreciate her every little effort and achievement through words of appreciation, the excitement and happiness obviously seen on my face or even a quick tickle, kiss and hug.
In teaching Anya, I personally am not into the ‘bribing approach’. I mean, I’d never say things like, ‘You’ll get some sweets if you help me put these clothes into daddy’s wardrobe.’ or ‘If you tidy up all your toys, you can eat some ice cream later.’ Or worse, ‘Your Daddy will love you more if he sees you put on your shoes yourself.’
I think if we take that kind of approach (unconsciously or not), kids will gradually learn the concept of ‘doing something because I’ll be receiving something later’, instead of ‘doing something because: I enjoy it / it’s the right thing to do / I’d like to help my parents and other people without needing to receive anything in return.’
In today’s increasingly selfish society, I surely don’t want Anya to grow up with the philosophy of: doing something only when it benefits ME ME ME.
Since young I believe kids need to learn and experience the joy of giving and helping others. And it all starts from us parents. The ways we encourage our kids through our words and actions.
