Are We The Reason Why Our Children Stop Sharing With Us?
A boy, perhaps 11-12yo, walked next to his mom in public. He seemed quite excited to share something that happened at school.
Some 15 seconds into his sharing, his mom frowned, looked at him and said, ‘Eh, don’t lie ya!!!’ in a rather loud voice. And the boy stayed quiet afterwards.
…
How do we generally respond to our children when they speak to us?What I saw got me thinking:
– How do we generally respond to our children when they speak to us? ie. The kinds of words, our tone of voice, our facial expression.
eg. Do we respond like we’re annoyed (because we are busy with housework, eg.) whenever they come to us to share something exciting about school, eg.?
– Do we use words that tend to ‘condemn’ and are generally ‘negative’?
eg.
> When we’re not sure if the child is telling the truth or not:
‘Eh, don’t lie ya!!!’ vs ‘You are telling the truth, yes?’
> When our child tells us something that he/she did wrong at school:
‘Why are you ALWAYS causing trouble at school!!!’
vs ‘Then, what happened?’ What do you think of what you did?’
…
Many parents of teens wonder why their children don’t communicate / share anything much with them
Many parents of teens wonder why their children don’t communicate / share anything much with them.
Perhaps we need to first ask ourselves:
Do we encourage communication?
Do we listen (and not be quick to condemn) when they share?
Since they’re little, how have we treated our children when they relate to us?
Could we perhaps be the reason why they stop talking and sharing with us? 😬
…
If our children are still young, … there’s still time to instill positive communication habits.
Let’s not miss our chance.
We ourselves are still working on ours.
Everyday.
Food for thought?
