Feeling Sorry is Followed By Accountability
‘Sorry, I forgot to wash my plates.’
‘Sorry, I kept watching TV when you told me to stop 15 mins ago.’
‘Oh sorry, I was rude.’
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Do your kids say sorry ‘proactively’?
Or, do you need to ‘prompt’ them (or even scold them?) for them to say sorry?
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… the child learns that ‘showing remorse’ will get him out of trouble easilySome kids find it hard to say sorry, even when the parents have repeatedly teach the child the need to apologise and walk the talk themselves.
Pride is one of their possible cause, I guess (and is something that needs to be addressed, too)
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All kids challenge/break rules (sometimes on purpose).
And some kids apologise proactively, and some only apologise when prompted / reminded.
Some kids easily say sorry and parents melt and excuse / free the child from all accountabilities.
And when this happens often, the child learns that ‘showing remorse’ will get him out of trouble easily.
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Here’s something that I hope to share today:
When a child does say ‘sorry’, it must be followed by acts of accountability.
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Mistake is forgiven, apology is accepted, BUT some consequences often followFor example,
A child who breaks something in the house – after being reminded to not be rough – must also be held accountable for what he broke.
Other than saying sorry, he needs to clean up after the mess (if the child is below 2 yo, he can also help Mommy in cleaning up the mess).
Or, if a replacement needs to be bought, the child can contribute some money (by using his own pocket money).
ie. Mistake is forgiven, apology is accepted, BUT some consequences often follow, and the ‘doer’ needs to be accountable.
Food for thought.
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(Nice reminders from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book: Making children mind without losing yours)
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I’ve forwarded this post to a friend of mine who’s having a tough time teaching her child accountability. Thanks for writing such a concise, effective post.
Aww … thank you for sharing it … have a wonderful weekend!