Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

‘Mommy, this is for you‘, a 4yo gave a big chunk of her cake to her Mom.

‘Oh, don’t you want it?’

‘No, you can have it, Mommy‘, the little one replied with a smile.

People who saw the incident might say, ‘Aww … how sweet. Look at how she loves her Mommy and shares her cake with her!‘

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When such situations happen, let’s take a step back and observe.

Does the girl really like the cake?

If she does, and yet she shares her cake with her parent/friend/sibling, that’s grrreeeattt!

You see, often what happens is, when a child (or adult!) really likes something, then it’s for me, me, and me only!

When the above incident happens, without sounding pessimistic, the little girl probably does NOT like the cake, and so she gives it to someone else to finish it.

(Of course not ALL kids are like this)

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If we DON’T like something, then we give it to someone, that’s not sharingWhen the latter happens, adults often just shrug and say something like, ‘Haiyah, … you ah! You don’t like then you give to me, … if you like then you finish everything!’

Then everyone laughs and the incident is over.

The kid is also happy that she doesn’t have to finish the cake she doesn’t like.

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One thought:
how about if the incident is turned to an opportunity to share a life lesson on sharing?

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Let the child learn about being honest with her parent, instead of making up ‘good excuses”Do you like the cake?‘

‘Errr… it’s okay.’

‘Thanks for sharing with Mommy. I’ll take a small bite, and you can finish the rest of it‘ (A quick test)

‘Err … no, you can have it all, Mommy.’

‘You don’t want the cake?‘

‘No … I’m full already‘ (Some kids are awesome excuse-finders, btw)

‘Tell Mommy, do you like the cake, or don’t you like the cake?‘ (An opportunity to let the child learn about being honest with her parent, instead of making up ‘good excuses’ and look ‘good’ in her parents’ eyes)

‘Errr … it tastes a bit funny, I don’t want it.‘

‘Come … Mommy wants to talk with you.

When we really like something, and we still give some to others, that’s called sharing.

Even when we don’t quite want to share because we want it all for ourselves BUT in the end, we still share, that’s very good.

That means, we learn to share good things with others.

BUT, if we DON’T like something, then we give it to someone, that’s not sharing.

That’s more like getting rid of what we don’t like by passing it to others.’

…

(In our family, when such an incident happens, we don’t force the child to finish the cake, but it’s important for the child to understand her own heart’s tendency, and to share what she likes with others, next time)

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Sharing what we like with others is HARDI personally find myself repeating the above ‘lessons’ in many occasions to the 3 kiddos.

Naturally, we want to consume/keep what we like to ourselves.

Everyone does.

Sharing what we like with others is HARD.

(read: we’re not born to be 100% self-less at all times. As a person of faith, I call that ‘one of the traits of a sinner, as we are all sinners. We tend to think of us, ourselves and what matters to us MORE.’)

Anyway.

This is something I myself need to work on, too.

To be more giving, to not be selfish all the time, to share more, although I may not gain anything in return.

NOT easy, as the heart’s tendency is to NOT do those.

May God help us.

Food for thought.