Relationships OVER Material Things
‘When is Mommy coming home?’
‘Is Daddy on his way home?’
…
Upon hearing it, some people may go, ‘Awwww, so sweet!’
It sounds sweet to hear a child asks for his/her parents like that.
*cue for heart emoticons*
❤️❤️❤️
…
Now.
If your child sometimes asks such a question, I recommend you do a little observation: What does he/she ask from the parent within 5-10 mins of Daddy/Mommy’s arrival at home?
…
If the child asks for play time, hugs, help with homework/test, listening ears. Then, … YAY!!
But.
If the child asks for, eg. Money, gifts (parent just traveled overseas), or parent’s phone (because game apps are only downloaded on the parent’s phone) … then to me, this needs some heart to heart parent-child talk.
Because, the child – consciously or unconsciously – is actually NOT longing for the PERSON (the parent), but more for what they can get FROM the parent.
…
Gadgets or games should never replace the importance of family time, communication and interpersonal relationshipsAre you still reading my post?
Up to this point, do you say, ‘Aiyoh … it’s normal, isn’t it? Kids always want something from their parents, right??’
Well.
True.
But in our family, we hope to instill higher value for relationships over material things.
Eg. If our child keeps asking, ‘Is Daddy coming home soon?’ because he/she WAITS FOR his phone, NOT for Daddy’s presence (detected from the request for Daddy’s phone soon after he arrives home), … then we need to have a good talk with the child to instill the importance of each other’s presence OVER material things/wants.
(And, perhaps, to help the child, it may be necessary to delete one or two games off Daddy’s phone)
Because he/she WAITS FOR his phone, NOT for Daddy’s presenceThe point is, we parents need to observe and learn to ‘detect’ what is in our children’s heart and mind (although they don’t say it out loud to us).
Learn to ‘read between the lines’.
…
Personally I find it crucial to teach our children about the importance of relationships over material things.
Relationship with the CreatorBecause as the child grows up (physically and spiritually), we hope that he/she also learns to long for a relationship with the Creator, NOT putting utter importance on receiving material blessings from above.
(Read: Learn to put relationship with God first and above material blessings from God. A lesson that we parents need to apply and struggle with day to day, too)
…
Anyway.
If you’ve been following my blog or social media, you’d know how we are not against the use gadgets or games on phones.
Because to us, the key questions we need to first ask are:
– At what age does the child need to start playing
– When do we play (after chores / responsibilities are all completed?)
– What kinds of games do we play
– How long do we play the game for
– Are we addicted to it, etc
…
Gadgets or games should never replace the importance of family time, communication and interpersonal relationships.
Yes? =)
