Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

 
‘She’s the baby in the house, she always gets what she wants, doesn’t she?’

‘He’s the youngest out of 4 siblings, … must be spoiled by his parents, right?’

…

They say, the youngest in the family is the spoiled one. The one who gets away with crime, who doesn’t get disciplined for any misbehaviours, etc.

Err.

Not in our family, I hope.

Because I believe, when we spoil our children, when we give to them whatever they want, when they feel they are like ‘princes and princesses who get whatever they wish’, we are in fact ruining their lives.

How are we ruining their lives, some ask.

By NOT teaching them values like self-giving, working hard for something, thinking of others other than self, respecting other people’s wishes above own wishes, etc.

…

Anyway.

With Brie being the youngest in our family:

– she does not always get whatever she wants
IF she throws a tantrum when she asks for something and doesn’t get it, she definitely will not get what she asks.

– her siblings do NOT need to ‘give in’ to her wants
Basically it means, the youngest is not the ‘princess’ who gets whatever she wishes. In our family, everyone needs to learn to share, give and help.

Here’s one common situation:

On our way home, the middle-born says, ‘I’m going to shower in the bathroom outside once we’re home!’

Now what happens if the youngest suddenly say, ‘I want to shower first! I want to shower first in the bathroom outside!!’?

Well, Brie has to wait. Or, she can always use the bathroom inside the master bedroom. Whatever it is, just because she says she wants to use it ‘first’, it doesn’t mean she gets it.

– she also is expected to help out around the house, doing age-appropriate chores (eg. Washes her own dishes, hangs out our clean laundry together with siblings, etc)

…

Do all siblings in our family live in harmony all the time? Definitely … not.
Now.

Do all siblings in our family live in harmony all the time?

Definitely … not.

Tantrums and bickerings happen. Daily.

‘Love and care’ between siblings need to be nurtured, daily (because their natural tendency is to care for ‘self’ and ‘personal wants’)

…

 
As a parent, I find it NOT EASY to instill such values everyday.

Reminders need to be given patiently. Disciplinary actions need to be given wisely. And, walking our talks needs to be done consistently.

On top of that, other than being a Mom who looks after 3 kids, I have chores and work loads to do as well, and amidst my physical or emotional tiredness, I could lose my patience. I could utter unwise words. I could be grumpier than usual. I may focus on the wrong priorities.

Just like my kids, I need  to fight my own ‘sinful tendencies’, too.

Just like my kids, I need  to fight my own ‘sinful tendencies’, tooAs I always say, being a parent is HARD WORK. Raising children is not a walk in the park.

But at the same time, I know to have been entrusted with 3 children IS a special privilege God has given to us. And God always gives the needed strength to go through each day.

And for that, I’m thankful.