Parenting: Feeling Bored IS Okay
‘Mommy, what can I do now? I’m bored!’
‘What else can I do now? Give me something to do.’
(In the car) ‘What can I do now? I have nothing to do.’
…
Sounds familiar?
Here’s one undeniable fact we see today:
Kids these days get bored easily. They crave programmed activities and continual entertainment.
And I think, one of the major causes is, the presence of technology / gadgets that readily go everywhere with them.
(Perhaps I should rephrase it to: the presence of technology / gadgets that are given to the children so that they are kept occupied / stimulated, wherever they are)
…
The way I see things:
– Our world is full of ‘trends’ and they’ll keep on changing over time.
– Whether or not we ‘follow the latest trend’ is a decision we need to make for ourselves.
– It is up to the parents who’ll create their own ‘family culture and habits’ from the start (and explain to the children the values attached to the decisions as they grow up)
[February 2015]
…
One of the latest trend we see today is: ‘Everyone has a gadget, regardless of their age.’
If you’re a parent, what is YOUR belief and why do you have that belief?Children naturally compare themselves with their friends and they will ask (continuously) for a gadget to land on their hands.
It’s a fact all parents face today.
But I guess, the more important questions are:
If you’re a parent, what is YOUR belief and why do you have that belief? What culture / habits that you’ll introduce to your own little family from day one?
Food for thought.
…
To be ‘under-stimulated’ is uncomfortable. But really, this ‘discomfort’ is exactly what they need todayAs for our family, we choose to not saturate our kids with ‘electronic media entertainment’ as there are soooo many other activities to explore and do, so many other ways to spend their time and day.
Which includes ‘doing nothing much at all’.
If asked about ‘children and their longing to be continually entertained’, I’d say:
It is OKAY to feel bored.
It is OKAY to not have any ‘media entertainment’ for a period of time.
It is OKAY to have ‘nothing to do’ in the car.
[No games on gadgets for Brie so far means she craves none and enjoys interactions with family and friends]
Because, when our children are ‘allowed to be bored’ (read: having no media entertainment nor structured/programmed activities), they are faced with opportunities to :
– Think – on their own – of ways to keep themselves busy
– Exercise their creativity and imagination
– Be calm and self-reflect
– Problem-solve their situations
– Interact with siblings and real people
…
Children today are heavily stimulated little people.
Children today are heavily stimulated little peopleTo be ‘under-stimulated’ is mildly unpleasant and uncomfortable. They’ll most likely complain about it.
But really, this ‘discomfort’ is exactly what they really need today.
What say you?
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No gadget allowed, smart mom.. Anak anak harus sering beronteraksi nyata dengan orang orang, setuju.. Aku kurang suka kalau ada anak kecil udah kenal gadget
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I can’t agree more with this post.
Children also lose connection with themselves and God when they are constantly entertained by external parties. To be still is so important for their well-being and creativity.
Also, i notice that a lot of parents pass on their parenting to technology. Instead of spending valuable time with their children (which i understand can be time and energy consuming), they find an easy way out by sending their children to TVs, tablets etc etc. Some think that it is nice when kids are quiet/obedient when fed by technology. But overindulgent in technology is so unhealthy for their (especially young children) development and creativity.
Agree with you!
It is much easier for us parents to simply use gadgets as babysitters. They’re quieter and they ‘leave us alone’.
But, whether or not THAT is even good for them and for the family, … it’s totally a different matter altogether.
Good read!
Was just reading about similar topic too in this book ‘All Joy and No Fun’ by Jennifer Senior, and if I may add a few take-away points from the book:
1. Boredom is not only OK, it’s necessary. For all the life skills and benefits already mentioned in the blog article as well.
2. Modern childhood (esp that of very young children) with very tight scheduled activities (think: enrichment classes, tuitions, camps, organized playdates, etc) contributes largely to the lacking of exposure to boredom, thus resulting in their inability to ‘tolerate’ boredom. This is quite an irony too, because the whole activities are sometimes intended to alleviate boredom.
(I think the current trends of helicopter parenting plays a part too. Children are never playing ‘alone’, there is always a parent nearby to ‘encourage/stimulate/engage/praise/protect/so on’.)
3. Freedom for the children to play outdoor would have helped a lot in dealing with children’s feeling bored. But with greater access to global news, and also due to many other social factors, modern parents have greater fear to let children play free outside.
4. Gadgets and online games finally replace the autonomy and sense of mastery that children crave, which old days kids naturally get from their daily outdoor adventures in their neighborhood.
Kids from all time get bored, sadly the modern ones seem to be not well-equipped to solve their boredom. 🙁
Thanks Yos for sharing it here …
Abraham 3 thn selalu muter kesana kemari, selalu ada hal yg dilakukannya, tulisan ini mencerahkan saya bahwa anak2 butuh ruang utk menggali kemampuan mereka salah satunya disaat rasa bosan hadir.
Terima kasih telah berbagi cerita ttg Abraham ya …
Saat anak mampu mencari kesibukannya sendiri dan berkreasi tanpa disuruh, justru ternyata disanalah ia menggali imajinasi dan kreatifitasnya ya ….
Kalau anak-anakku biasanya minta cemilan saat gak ada aktivitas :))
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Haha … wah kalau gitu kudu pastikan persediaan makanannya selalu cukup di dapur, kulkas dan di lemari makanan ya =D
Agree. and too much stimulation reduces kids’ sleep time.
Some teachers (of teens) share with me how their students often come to school feeling sleepy in the morning, and it’s apparently because they can’t stop playing computer games or browsing the internet past midnight =/
Habits start early … including bad ones =(
Boredom is truly one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. The gift of boredom will stimulate creativity gadgets will never provide.
Yes … though some others may not agree with the idea that ‘boredom is a gift’ =)
I guess, it’s most likely due to the common assumption that when kids do ‘nothing’ , it is a ‘waste’ of their time and potential ?