How Should We Relate to Those who are Grieving or Suffering
I admit, I haven’t been blogging as often as I would really love to.
I’ve been so busy every day, and when I do write, it’s most likely done in the wee hours (like now! =)
Anyway.
I’d like to share a bit about my interview session with Rev. Drs. Margriet van der Kooi the other day. It’s for the programme ‘In Conversation With’ on Reformed 21 TV.
Rev. Margriet is a chaplain at a General and Psychiatric Hospital, back in the Nederlands.
She sees different kinds of people everyday. Mostly those who’re undergoing illness, bitterness and suffering.
She listens to them, and shares her time with them.
…
I don’t know about you, but I often feel clueless when I have to visit or speak with someone who is really sick.
If I said something (to encourage them), would it come across as insensitive? (because I obviously wouldn’t know how much pain and difficulty that they’re going through)
If I said nothing, would they be expecting me to say something?
If I wanted to share something from the Bible (eg. Words of encouragement), how should I go about doing it without making them feel as if I’m preaching to them?
…
Anyway, here’re some thoughts that she shared with me:
‘When we are with someone who is sick, mourning, or suffering, the best is often to just listen. Empathise.
Don’t say things more than you know.
Don’t talk as if you are God. Many things happen and we may not know why.
Enduring pain and suffering is hard. If you have something to share about your own faith, don’t speak as if you are better than that person. With genuine humility and care, you can ask, ‘May I read for you a passage from the Bible?’ or ‘May I pray for you?’
Don’t rush as if you just want to get to next patient. If you have just 20mins, give your all.’
(This is a super short summary of what she shared)
……
I feel, the biggest problem that we have today is, time.
Funny how we have all these gadgets that supposedly can help us ‘save time’, and yet we are left with so little time everyday.
Two questions I’d like to throw to everyone (including myself) are :
Do we actually have time for those who are ‘less fortunate’?
Do we ever think about those who are less healthy, less happy, or those who have just lost a loved one?
You see, we are all busy.
Busy with work, family, school, house chores. Busy updating our status on our social media platforms. Busy with our smartphones.
…
Today, may I share with you my ‘self-reminder’?
In today’s busy, modern world, I hope (and pray!) that I have more heart and willingness to share my time with others (other than myself, and my spouse and kids). To genuinely empathise and care for those who are less fortunate too.
May God help me, and everyone of us.
