Parenting : How to Scold our Sons LESS?
We have one 8yo boy in the family.
The middle child.
And as much as I’ve been a parent since 2004, being a parent to all my 3 kids has always been … mind boggling at times.
I mean, many a time, I simply feel … clueless.
It’s like, I’ve tried my best, raising each child to my best capability, responding to misbehaviours consistently, praying for them and with them, and treating each child as a unique individual.
Still, I find things … far from easy.
Including, raising this son of ours.
…
Anyway.
Recently we went to the mountains with family and friends for a few days.
It was such a GOOOD break for everyone!
And.
I personally learned this lesson, about raising boys:
Give boys space to roam, run, jump, tumble, be loud, and explore.
Being in the open air, outdoors, MORE often, is a great start.
Actually, being in the outdoors is much needed for them!
(Especially if we live in Asian cities like Jakarta, where indoor play is somehow more available and preferred by more parents than the outdoors)
Being in the open air, outdoors, MORE often, is a great startBecause.
When they (and us) are couped up in small spaces most of the time (the home), no wonder we too get annoyed easily by their acts.
‘Don’t do that!’
‘Stop screaming and running around!’
‘Tidy up!’
Ah. It is no wonder if they are exhausted by our angst, as much as we are by their constant overflow of energy and ‘lack of interest’ in what we ask them to do.
…
Boys will be boys.
I know I need to tell this to myself again and again.
Am *still* continually learning to better parent our boy.
May God help me, everyday.
…
Share please:
Any other thoughts on raising boys? Tips?
3 Comments »
Leave a comment!
Yes, 3 points.
1) Children does need to go outdoor. Both my wife and I found out if we bring children to the park during weekend, they’ll be more happy. I’ll post photos soon in my FB and my blog for recent trip to Melaka where they’re so happy running on the field. It just a plain field with green grass. But they are so happy. Anyway, my son, somehow, sometimes he likes to stay home. Haha.
2) From boy’s perspective, I don’t like to scold or being scold, especially like in the open space, where its like sound-remote-control the children. My sister in-law, on the other hand, like to scold her children, let it be in the house. She stays in Singapore, you can imagine the size of the house compare the loudness of her voice. For me, not really will scold to them. (May be yes I scold sometime which I don’t realize)
3) I’m thinking as adult, or being parent, we should be able to ‘absorb’ negative energy from the children, like when children is scolding to us, or shouting to other or when they fail to do something, we should be able response in a calm manner, tell them to ‘Its okay, try again’, ‘Never mind’, ‘Its okay, I love you’. Its not wise to shout in order to stop a shout.
AhJianBaBa recently posted..小王子结业式及进度报告
Boys need a lot of down time to function well and focus. What I find does well with my boys is to give them 30 min of play time before starting any work/studies after they return home from school helps them to keep focused.
Dominique Goh recently posted..Imagine the Life you’d love to live, then live it
Thanks for sharing. I’ll take note of that ‘downtime’ tips … appreciate it …