Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

If you are a parent, the topic of tuitions and extra-curricular activities usually come up quite regularly.

Do you send your kids to tuitions?

If yes, which ones?

Why do you choose to send your kids to those?

…

The other day I had such a conversation with a friend =)

Do Anya and Vai have any tuitions? 

Yep, they do.

Anya has Mandarin and Piano.
(At school, she’s in the Painting and Maths Club)

Vai has Mandarin and Tennis.
(At school, he’s in the Basketball Club and Painting class)

They both have swimming lessons since they first arrived in Jakarta 2 years ago, but next week will be their last.

So, from then onwards, they’ll have their weekly swim all on their own, doing laps, since they’ve mastered at least 2 swimming styles so far (and we’re not going ‘competitive’ with swimming anyway).

A friend I know sends her child to attend ‘Abacus’ tuition, and as the result of this tuition, he thinks faster and it helps with his learning of other subjects. What do you think about this?

There will always be benefits / good reasons for attending any class or tuition. That’s the reason why parents send their kids to tuition A, B and C.

To put it simply, I personally believe if the child is not over-scheduled (ie. So many extra-curricular activities / tuitions everyday that the child is almost always ‘occupied’ and busy), and if financially it is possible to send the child to a particular tuition / class, then … I think, why not?

 I do NOT wish for my children to be so busy and occupied, yet their hearts, their souls, are … empty.   For our family’s case, we choose to keep our children’s weekends as free as possible from tuitions, so they can play, relax and spend time with the family.

I know many parents today believe children are like sponges, they’re smart, so they should not be ‘idle’, doing ‘nothing’, because it’ll be such a waste of time. Their ‘brain’ needs to be exercised and developed. And this often means, they need to go to different tuitions and lessons (on top of their regular school hours).

And, on top of such activities, these little ones also are allowed to have many hours on the computer / electronic devices, though at home.

First of all, I agree, our children’s potential is amazing. That’s how amazingly created they are.

At the same time however, I too personally believe, filling up a child’s world with academics and extra-curricular activities, day in and day out, will consequently take away precious time and opportunities needed to pick up ‘skills’ like :

… sharing with siblings
… caring and looking out after another family member
… patience
… listening to what others need to say
… taking the time to self-introspect and ask for forgiveness
… forgiving others
… compassion
… respecting others and self
… helping out at home and sharing parents’ housework loads

Well, I believe, all this can only be gained through EXPERIENCE.

I mean, while academics and knowledge can be learned from teachers / books / enrichment centers / coaches, the kind of ‘skills’ above CANNOT.

Our children’s potential is amazing. That’s how amazingly created they are.It is only when our children have the TIME to spend at home, listening to what we can teach / share with them, learning from each other, and simply interacting WITH the family and friends, that they can learn all the above, and more.

In short, I simply do NOT wish for my children to be so busy and occupied (becoming so ‘able’ and ‘well-rounded’?), yet their hearts, their souls, are … empty.

But you know what?

Here’s one reality that we often dislike.

Spending more time with the family automatically means we’ll see and hear more bickering, arguments and cries.

(because naturally, when we interact more, there’s a higher chance of frictions and disagreements,  yes?)

But that’s what ALL children need, isn’t it?

And, as much as I dread such ‘noises’, I tell myself (again and again and again) that THIS IS PART AND PARCEL OF BEING A PARENT.

It’s part of growing up as a family.

ie. Learning to cope with differences and the existence of others  (yes, even when they seem to be annoying!)

…

As what I’ve said before, I hope and pray that my children are not ‘full in the head but empty in the hearts’.

And I believe, as challenging as it is, one way to achieve this is to let the children simply spend time with each other – even spend some ‘free time’ with oneself – and not too much ‘busy-ness’, engagements with electronic media, and ‘tuitions’.

…

Phew. Not easy.

But I guess, that’s parenting.

And it’s a struggle everyday.

May God help us and shower us with HIS wisdom.