Food for Thought : Gadgets are Not Pacifiers
[In today’s digital era, flipping through a book, slowly observing the images and talking about it with little ones still offers a different kind of experience]
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Here’s one reality I’m sure we all agree.
Little kids are often loud.
They can be noisy.
They can be whiny.
And when we want some peace and quiet, well … with kids being kids, it is highly likely that they’ll make it a little tough for us to even … enjoy our meals.
[Keeping little children entertained, nice and quiet, in plane trips can also be a challenging task]
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… totally living in their own little world, away from everyone else. Including whoever happens to be sitting around them, on the same dining table.
Now that we are in Jakarta, it is common to see children (as young as toddlers) sitting in restaurants, next to their nannies (who are patiently spoonfeeding them), with a gadget right in front of them.
They could be watching cartoons, or a music video.
They could be playing games.
And sometimes, they’d be wearing earphones, totally living in their own little world, away from everyone else. Including whoever happens to be sitting around them, on the same dining table.
They’re most likely very much engaged in their own devices.
So much so that they ‘leave’ their parents alone to enjoy their meals, and some peace and quiet.
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Because, while gadgets can surely be great pacifiers, … children do need social interactions. They need real playtime with real people.
While I have nothing against gadgets themselves, somehow I do feel there’s this serious danger when little children are increasingly ‘allowed’ to be attached to their gadgets, ie. When it has become a HABIT to always have gadgets around little ones to keep them company.
(If it’s SO easy for adults to be ‘addicted’ to these smart, little machines, … what more little children.)
I mean, I feel it is totally okay (perhaps even necessary) to delay exposure to gadgets in young children.
Because, while gadgets can surely be great pacifiers, … children do need social interactions.
They need real playtime with real people.
As often as they can.
Especially in today’s digital world.
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Little children are at a phase when they’re learning all about
… communicating with others
… knowing when to talk and when to not interrupt others
… respecting others, including their parents who need time to talk to each other and others too
… manners, forgiveness, and taking turns
… playing chase, laughing and accepting others who are different from them
Well, this is just to name a few.
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You know … I often wonder, when children are often ‘pacified’ with gadgets (be it at home, during car rides, or outings), aren’t they robbed off their privilege to learn all those life skills and much more?
[At 25 months, we encourage Brie to read books, either on her own, with her siblings or with us]
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Yes, children can be loud and demanding of our time and attention.
(I have three little kiddos. I know how draining such moments can be)
And yes, the younger they are, the more difficult it is for us to have some peace and quiet.
But I guess, … it’s part and parcel of being parents of young children?
I remind myself how our kids will be all grown up VERY soon, and they will choose to be noisy with their friends instead, and not long for our time and attention anymore.
When things get very loud around me, and mentally exhausting, I often tell myself that all this will soon be over.
I remind myself how our kids will be all grown up VERY soon, and they will choose to be noisy with their friends instead, and not long for our time and attention anymore.
So, while I’m at it, I need to learn to enjoy the moments and bear the tough bits =)
Well, not an easy task.
May God help me and you, and give us all the strength, wisdom and patience we need everyday.
Happy parenting, everyone!
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I totally agree that electronic gadgets should not be pacifiers but there are times when I’m guilty of giving my daughter the ipad or handphone so that I can have some peace around the home or restaurant. We often set limits so she knows that the ipad must be returned once the food arrives. I believe that at the end of the day, we have set the boundaries and teach our kids to balance between playing and learning to interact with others.
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Thanks for sharing, Susan!
Yes, I totally agree. I think the key is setting the boundaries from the start. Our 2 bigger kids also play games on our iPhone and iPad, but they both sure know that there’s a time limit, and they can’t play anytime they want, and if they’ve played once that day, it’s unlikely that they get to play again.
I’m genuinely concerned about the many parents I see here in Indonesia who freely give these gadgets, even to their babies. Gadgets become their babysitters, and it’s common to see each child in the family (even a toddler!) owning one, eg. They’d play before meal time, during mealtime, after mealtime. When they ask for their iPad (after having played with them just not too long ago), and not given … they could cry and cry, and of course, the gadget is then given again to them.
I just feel I need to blog about this issue and share the potential danger of not realising the damaging effect of not controlling the use of gadgets from the start.