Parenting : Where are WE when Our Children Are Growing Up?
Today I was blessed to have heard some thoughts on parenting and how ‘urgent’ it is for us parents to ‘actively be involved’ in the lives of our young children.
And I’d like to share some of these thoughts with you today.
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Whether we really are aware of it or not, our world offers the following concepts and values : Materialism, Consumerism, Selfishness, Hatred, Vengeance, Greed, Envy … just to name a few.
Sure, we can tell ourselves that we are adults, and we can make the ‘right’ choices for ourselves.
We can choose to love, and not hate.
We can choose to deny ourselves and our wants, for the good of others.
We can choose to feel content with what we already have, and not indulge ourselves in stuff that we don’t actually need.
Etc. Etc.
BUT.
How about our children?
Our children grow up VERY QUICKLY, and the question is, WHERE ARE WE when they’re growing up?
The reality is, our children live in the same world as us.
The world strongly and constantly presents its values and concepts to our children too, whether we let it or not.
Advertisements on TV, newspapers or magazines. Posters and banners along the streets. Daily happenings and interactions with others. Again, this is just to name a few.
And it is so very easily for our little ones to just ‘follow the flow’ and be ‘drowned’ in everything that the world offers.
(Another worry is that, many parents may not even realise that it’s happening to their families)
…
So.
Can we protect our children from all this?
Not completely.
But, we sure CAN do something.
Today, I was made to realise once again that as parents, we really are racing against time!
We can choose to be ACTIVELY INVOLVED in nurturing and educating our children.
We can choose to genuinely CARE about what the children are reading, watching and playing.
We can choose to BE THERE for our children and carefully select the stuffs that our children are exposed to.
For example, we sure can choose to :
– Not let our children spend too much time on electronic media (computer games, etc), and instead … encourage actual interactions and loving playtimes with siblings and friends
– Not let our children watch movies, music videos or TV programmes that are not age-appropriate, or that encourage violence (though they’re ‘cartoons’ and ‘animated movies’)
– actually spend time with our children, … chatting with them, getting to know their struggles, finding out the kinds of things that cross their minds when things happen. Also, instilling values, and letting them see how despite us being sinners, we ourselves try our best in living out our beliefs day by day, etc.
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Today, I was made to realise once again that as parents, we really are racing against time!
Our time with our children is seriously limited.
Our children grow up VERY QUICKLY, and the question is, WHERE ARE WE when they’re growing up?
Are we actively involved in their lives since they’re little?
Or are we ‘losing’ our children, because we increasingly are detached from ‘their world’?
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If our relationship with them has never been quite ‘good’ (eg. They feel we hardly care for them nor spend time with them during their growing up years anyway), … connecting with them when they are teenagers will even be more difficult.
By then, their minds are much more set than years before.
We also cannot ‘enforce our authorities’ like the way we still can when they’re little.
They tend to listen to their friends more than us parents.
They will want to choose ‘whatever they feel is right’.
And, if our relationship with them has never been quite ‘good’ (eg. They feel we hardly care for them nor spend time with them during their growing up years anyway), … connecting with them when they are teenagers will even be more difficult.
(Sure, we can still instill values and all, but it’s more like … sharing our advice with them?)
…
Today, I was reminded of the importance of being there for my children (and, of praying FOR them).
And, I too was reminded of how ‘scary’ my days as a parent can potentially be in a few years time, IF I am not connected to my children today.
…
Being a parent is never easy.
Because we ourselves have limits. Flaws. Weaknesses.
May God grant us all the wisdom, patience and strength always.
Hope you have a great week ahead, everyone.
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Great reminder of how urgent our tasks as parents are. And how much divine wisdom we need to do the job properly. A friend reminded me this morning of James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” So grateful for this assurance.
Elaine recently posted..Mama go inside
Thanks for sharing the verse, Elaine!
Agree completely … can never be a parent properly based on one’s own strength and wisdom.
completely agree with this… we have very limited of time.. we all rushing. But our children should be the first priority. That’s why, I ask my wife to quit her job on first day of our married. 🙂
Thanks for sharing ya. True, these days we all seem to rush for everything, … but what’s our priority?
Although I am not a parent (yet, but hopefully someday =P), your post reminds me of a reflection I have written few weeks ago. I was reflecting on very few short years of sunday sch ministry I have done in GRII Melbourne. Hopefully it will be another encouragement for you Jie ;).
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How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. (Psalm 119:9, NIV)
Praise the Lord for His lovingkidness! He has guided me, a man of unclean lips, to serve Him through Sunday School ministry for a very short three years. Time flies so quickly, and I cannot believe my departure to Singapore will come in few months! Hopefully, this small reflection will serve as both encouragement and farewell notes for fellow Sunday School teachers and parents of our beloved students.
I was assigned to teach Teenager Class last year, after having taught Elementary Class for a year. It was certainly a pleasure to meet my ex-students who have grown up to become teenagers. I also met some students whom I had not taught before. And I have to say this, teaching teenagers is fun! I must have missed my care-free teenager years. My students remind me of those days, and I am thankful for that.
However, after a while, I realized my students and I did not grow up in the same era. We follow different trends and lifestyles. My struggles in the past are not the same as my students’. Languages we use are not identical. How should I react to this reality that the world seems to keep changing?
Praise the Lord! His truth is everlasting. No matter what changes this world can bring, God will ensure His people to be not conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewal of their mind. They will be chosen out of the world and sanctified to worship and serve Him. Psalm 119:9 reminds us a great, tested truth: Whosoever live according to the Bible will keep his way pure.
I prayed this would be my utmost motivation when I teach my students, that I would instil unto them a life which has been lived according to the Bible. But soon, I realized I was also a sinner saved by grace whose life cannot be blameless example for them. I need much of God’s grace to point out to them the way unto everlasting life.
Let us always be humble before God. We can only do our part, loving and obeying God for days of our short lives. We should pray, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; and confirm for us the work of our hands.” It is only God who can change our children unto the likeness of Christ. May God bless GRII Melbourne Sunday School ministry, parents, and children. Amen.
Thanks Franky for sharing it. Another reminder to me that I’m indeed a sinner who cannot be a blameless living example to the kids … and so if I’m entrusted with this motherhood task, it’s totally because of His Grace.
I second your opinion and completely agree with you. That’s the reason why I gave up my career and have no regrets. Ppl ask me u got your masters degree and ur wasting sitting at home , I don’t see it that way my perspective is different . So what I can teach my kids and they don’t have to go for enrichment classes. Ofcourse managing with single income I have to be more wise when it comes to spending and making choices. It’s part of life.but like you said being being with them in their formative years is more important than $ I would say. Very enlightening post. Thanks
Totally. Me too. My mom thinks I am becoming like a maid. =D But what you said is so true. The enrichment classes can not even make up what we can give to our children.
Well, I want to give the best to my children. That’s why I am giving myself(the best) to be their main care taker. If I am working, i will try to give the best effort to do my work. But My boss and company do not the only one that require my best effort, my children need it more and they do deserve it.
And those ppl that commenting that we are wasting our degree to sitting around at home has no clue that being full time mother need more energy , wit, wisdom, patience (this to name a few) than working.
The ‘you are wasting your education’ statement seems to be given to many (if not all?) stay-at-home moms who choose to use their education in raising their children.
I got that too =)
Thanks for sharing, as always =)
(and I agree with you, … when our standpoint is clear and when we know exactly why we choose to do what we do, we will not be easily swayed by people’s talks and comments that disagree with what we do )