Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

We all know, Daddies are usually less ‘available’ in a child’s life because they most likely need to be at work, for many hours in a day.

The question is, given the limited time a man can spend with his family, can he then still strive to be a ‘good Dad’?

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I’d like to share one particular part of Dr Kevin Leman’s book, ‘What a Difference a Daddy Makes‘, with you today.

Just some food for thought … on being a Good Dad.

Here’s the excerpt :

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I’ve got fantastic news for you parents. You want great children?

Be a good dad. Be a good mom.

Notice I didn’t say you have to be a great dad or a great mom. In most circumstances, good will suffice. Good will produce amazing kids.

There are a few characteristics that make a good father do his best to stand out from the rest.

> A Father Who Is There

The daddy who makes sacrifices in the name of relationship will be rewarded. The man who passes up the position that will bolster his income by twelve thousand dollars a year but send him out on the road for weeks at a time, the man who makes the choice to put relationship above everything else and who chooses to be present in the home, will make a profound difference in the lives of his children, especially his daughters.

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 How much does it cost to “buy” the qualities of a good dad—being there, understanding your daughter, honoring your wife, believing in your girl, letting the daughter grow through pain? Last time I checked it was FREE. 

> A Father Who Understands

Dad, don’t try to fix your daughter. Relate to her. Get to know her. Stop trying to solve your daughter’s problems. She doesn’t want you to fix anything. She just wants you to understand.

Understanding means I have to put down what I’m doing long enough to enter my daughter’s world. Instead of racing to a conclusion with the answer, I need to be willing to travel with her in her uncertainty.

She wants me to focus on the process while every testosterone-laden bone in my body is screaming for me to get to the conclusion.

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> A Father Who Honors His Wife

Your little girl will develop her expectations for her husband by watching how you treat her mother. If you act like a controlling, demanding, and lazy bum, your daughter won’t think it odd or undesirable when she dates a boy who treats her this way.

The best thing you can do to shape your daughter’s view of men is to treat your wife like you want your future son-in-law to treat your daughter. More often than not, it will become a self-fulfilling example.

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The best thing you can do to shape your daughter’s view of men is to treat your wife like you want your future son-in-law to treat your daughter. 

> A Father Who Believes in His Daughter

As fathers, we can prepare our daughters so that they don’t have to choose between vocational success and letting someone else raise their children. We know how the world works and can rely on that experience to help our daughters explore a family-friendly way to earn money. To do this, we have to believe in them and be involved in their lives. We also have to be convinced that our daughters really do have something to offer the world.

Don’t cultivate dreams for your sons and give your daughters the leftovers.

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> A Father Who Lets His Daughter Hurt

Just because your daughter is struggling doesn’t mean that you as a good father should rush in to save her. Sometimes being a good father means letting your daughter work her own way out of a tight and even painful spot.

I’m not suggesting this is easy—it may be the toughest thing you ever do—but it’s essential.

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How much does it cost to “buy” the qualities of a good dad—being there, understanding your daughter, honoring your wife, believing in your girl, letting the daughter grow through pain?

Last time I checked it was FREE.

Being a good dad is about being relational.

It’s not what you can buy your kids; it’s not slick strategies or secret lessons. It’s taking time to be there to care, to get involved.

That’s what a good dad is—relational.

He’s there. He cares.

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Great points for us all to ponder upon this weekend, I thought.

I’d personally would like to add another point to Kevin Leman’s list which I feel is very important though, that is :

> A Father who truly fears the Lord

A man who respects, fears and places God as number one in his life will naturally be inclined to learn and apply all the points mentioned above.

He will learn to continually submit himself under God’s truth, change for the better whenever he needs to, instill and practice values that are righteous, and strive to be a positive example for his family.

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Being a good dad is about being relational.

Is there a perfectly good Daddy then?

If you ask me, I’d say there’s definitely no perfect man, nor there is any perfect Dad.

Every man has weaknesses.

BUT, to me, what’s more important is whether this man realises that he needs God’s strength and mercy every single day to be the kind of man (husband and dad, etc) God wants him to be, and whether he’s willing to be transformed, and put his faith and understanding into action.

Day by day.

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If you are a Dad reading this blog post, I hope what’s been shared reminds you of your utter importance in your family, and in God’s eyes. That being a ‘good Dad’ IS possible, with God’s help.

And, if you are a Mom reading this post, let’s learn to give the Daddy our respect, appreciation and support, so that he can continually strive to be better, in everything that he does, … including in being a ‘good Dad’.

Not an easy task for any of us, for sure.

May God help us all.

Have a blessed week, everyone!