Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

By January 2012, I would’ve officially been blogging under ‘Our Everyday Things’ for 7 years! *Been loving every single day of it!*

And after a quick check, I apparently have a total of 1574 blog posts to date! And THAT number does NOT include the 400+ blog posts that I have YET to manually transfer when I moved to WordPress some three years ago.

(It’s a LONG story. In short: I used to blog the super old version way, with HTML, and when I moved to WordPress, I had to manually move every single blog post to WordPress. Very painful. I didn’t manage to finish the transfer. THEN, my hard drive crashed, and my 400+ posts died with it! URGH!)

ANYWAY.

I thought every now and then, I should really bring out a post from the past.

Here’s one on parenting that I’d like to share with you today =)

Have a great Monday, everyone!

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MAKING A CHILD FEEL LOVED

We parents are full of faults. We all make mistakes.

But one of the things I’d tell myself is, the fact that no parents are perfect should never be my excuse for not wanting to always change for the better.

Here’re some practical suggestions on how to make a child feel loved (especially since we parents sometimes unintentionally do or say things that make our children feel ‘the opposite’).

(based on Dr Kevin Leman’s book ‘Making Children Mind without Losing Yours‘)

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1. Make sure you see your children as God sees them – as a ‘gift’ and a ‘reward’, not as an interruption or an accident

2. Cultivate a childlike attitude.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Rediscover play. Walk barefoot together across the wet grass. Ride a merry-go-round. Act out a story instead of merely reading it.

3. Give your children direct eye contact
A child has a critical need for focused attention that enables him to feel respective, important and loved.  “Daddy (or Mommy) really cares about me … what I say … what I do.”

4. Physically express your love
Regular hugging, kissing, sitting close together, tousling hair, tickling, rubbing backs … putting an arm on the shoulder .. are all absolutely essential to assure a child’s emotional security and to nurture his self-esteem. They communicate this thought : “I like you and enjoy being with you.” These are the building blocks of a strong , healthy love bond.

5. Train yourself to be a good listener
Listening requires discipline, especially with children who can tell you the same Winnie the Pooh story a hundred times. It involves the eyes, ears, mind and heart. It means kneeling at times so as to be on their level and to communicate eye to eye. it’s important that as parents we respond to our child’s feelings. Such statements as ‘Not now, I’m busy” or “Tell me later” say to a child I guess I’m not as important to Mommy and Daddy as other things are.

6. Spend … time together

There simply is no substitute for regular, consistent time spent together doing ordinary things (eating, working, walking, praying, driving, swimming, shopping) or “making memories” by doing extraordinary things (visit to the zoo, pet shop, amusement park, or hospital; picnicking, biking, building a model plane, sight-seeing, etc)

Spending time with your children does create great memories.

A child’s life is so pliable during the formative years. Do your best to give your child a great gift every day: yourself! And be sure to listen.

All parents look back and realise how quickly time passes. Use your time wisely.

Listen to your children when they are little. They are much more likely to talk to you when they are older!