Parenting : Out of the Heart, Behaviours Flow
To start the week, here are some thoughts on parenting for us all, quoted from the book ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’ by Tedd Tripp – one book that I personally recommend.
Here goes.
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Proverbs 4: 23
“Keep your heart pure for out of it are the important things of life.”
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
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– Parents tend to focus on the externals of behaviour rather than the internal overflow of the heart. We tend to worry more about the ‘what’ of behaviour than the ‘why’.
[In other words, parents are often more concerned about changing just the behaviours, and NOT digging deeper to find out the ’cause’ of those behaviours]
– Most of us spend an enormous amount of energy in controlling and constraining behaviour. To the degree and extend to which our focus is on the behaviour, we miss the heart.
– If the goal of parenting is no more profound that securing appropriate behaviour, we will never help our children understand the internal things, the heart issues, that produce their behaviours.
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When we only change the external behaviours without changing the heart, it’s like pulling out all oranges from its tree and putting apples on it instead. Over time, orange fruits will grow back again, because it IS an orange tree. For it to produce apples, we need to remove the orange tree to the very root, and plant an apple tree.
Transformation of one’s life must start from the inside. From the heart.
To close, here’s a statement from Tripp’s book:
Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life and died as an infinite sacrifice so that children (and their parents) can be forgiven, transformed, liberated and empowered to love God and to love others.
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May we all be transformed from the inside, so that we can bear good fruits, and be positive living examples for everyone, including our children too.
Have a wonderful week, everyone!
