Anya : Changing For The Better, One Step at a Time
She may not appreciate this shot in ten years time, but I’m going to put this up anyway *hehe* BECAUSE of two main reasons :
1. This is the only period in her life when she would smile and look like THIS =)
2. Anya has been AMAZINGLY ‘good’ these past 3 days! I’m SOOO very much loving her company! *And I’d like to have this on record!*
…
You see, Anya is one individual who’s quite a perfectionist.
Since she’s little, she observes, she expects highly of other people, she’s not easily pleased, she pays attention to details and so she’s easily annoyed if things don’t go according to what she hopes or imagines them to be.
And now that she’s seven, she’s even more capable of voicing out her unhappiness about the world around her.
Oh yes. My patience level is greatly tested everyday.
Many times it’s not about feeling mad actually. It’s more about feeling sad when I note her train of thoughts, see her actions or hear her responses.
Her overall negative attitude towards life often numbs my mind. Sometimes it drives me up the wall. It often makes me feel speechless and hopeless too, like I have failed in parenting her.
Yes we teach her the importance of being grateful since she’s very little.
I share with her how a grateful attitude towards life and everything springs naturally from the heart, and when there’s gratefulness towards life’s countless blessings, there is naturally no room for complaints.
I tell her too that we can only have such a joyful, grateful heart if God changes us. When Jesus Christ is in our life, HE can change us to be a better person inside out.
I share how unless God works in her life, there’s absolutely nothing that anyone can do – not me, not Daddy, not anybody – that can change her.
…
Anya seems like a different person though since some three days ago.
It feels like I have a different daughter!
I mean, I pick her up from school and I don’t see unhappiness, sulkiness nor rudeness in her.
As I walk down the road with her, I look at her, I listen and I remember thinking to myself, ‘Wow! We can actually have a conversation without any frowns on her face nor unhappy tones in her voice today! I’m so enjoying this!’
I’m pleased. Very pleased. And I tell her about it too.
…
Well, frankly, while I’m enjoying all this, day by day, I realise I must not expect it to continue this way ‘all the time’. Because she’s after all only SEVEN years old, and just like all of us, she’s still in the process of changing and learning, and growing up.
Just as much as it’s not easy for us parents, it sure is not easy for her too.
…
Anya,
When you read this years from today, know that you’re very much loved by all of us. From day one. And I look forward to seeing how God wonderfully works in you and through you.
You’re in my prayers always.
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Hi,, where did u find the book in Singapore?? Mayb in which bookstore.. Does that happen to anya during vai just join in family??
Hi Angela,
You’re referring to the book ‘The Birth Order’ by Dr Kevin Leman, yes?
I ordered it online (through discerningbooks.com, … you can always email them and ask about it if they don’t have it listed online). Or, you can try checking Kinokuniya (the bigger bookshops should have it, I think).
For Anya’s case, she has bouts of ’emotional rollercoaster’ every year without fail. And when Vai was born, she was only 2.5yo, and yes, those first 2 weeks was … very VERY challenging for me, as much as it was for her, I’m sure.
Being still so small, she intentionally did things that she knew I disallowed, she wanted more attention from me and went a few steps backwards (eg. She was toilet trained at the time, but she did it in the living room again, etc etc). I know she was adjusting to the whole idea of having another little child at home, but it sure was very difficult on me at the time.
Jesus came to save sinners…thank God for His Amazing Grace:)
Yes … Indeed, amazing grace!
You are right, that IS a beautiful shot 🙂
=) Once those teeth are all out, I think I’ll be missing those toothless grins =)
Your doing a great job, am sure Anya will appreciate your efforts when she grows up. Girls are more matured and understanding when they turn adults than boys, I always feel that way.. But when u mentioned she gets moody, and not so easy to please her I had a big grin on my face and I thought wow that’s soooooo cute, kids are very difficult to understand these days I guess. Hey btw I am going to check out that book on birth Oder. Have good day.
yup .. that’s a good book to read! =)
Hey What you said about first born are very true or what? Am begining to wonder?? I guess it’s true to a certain extent. I have an elder Sis , during our child hood days we used to fight a lot I can say she’s the jealousy person he he… Character wise am very positive , fun loving, easy going type but she’s the reverse. Often cribbing , sulks and gets fed up quickly like u said elder ones are moody as well I think lol.
glad to hear some progress is happening there. cia you!
Iya … God knows my limits and HE knows I need this ‘good phase’ (at least for a while) to encourage me =)
Reading your post gives me the assurance that am not alone. My daughter is4 yrs old and she’s also like that. Every day when I pick her back from school she has her own mood. Sometimes happy, sometimes starts asking me to buy this and that, when I say NO throws a tantrum, after coming home dint want to change and eat , takes her own sweet time. Don’t quite understand the meaning of TIME , though can’t blame her kind if drives me mad when am rushing to finish my work on time. Like u mentioned nothing cab easily please my daughter too.. She has her own EGO , sometimes am amazed to see her having so much self esteem. Like if I scold her in a public place , she looks around to see if anyone is looking at her. Though I don’t do that in public often …, my God thinking of the teenage years am stressed already! But am enjoying her childhood days , time files really.
Oh that sounds very familiar to me too.
Asking for A, or B, and throwing a tantrum and giving me such a face if I said no (though said in a very nice way, with explanations too).
Personally, I think the fact that she’s a firstborn also plays a part. Not ‘all’ firstborns are like her, but there’s somehow a greater tendency to see more selfishness and lack of appreciation in firstborns somehow (… seems like i better read that book by Kevin Leman again called The Birth Order)
I too wonder, if she can be ‘this’ moody at such a young age, how will she be later when she hits the teenage years. But then, no one can really tell. When we build strong relationships today and put in the ‘hours’ to bond with the child, I somehow believe that it’ll bear fruit later.