Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

One of the books that I have personally learned a lot from is ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’, by Tedd Tripp.

I’m still reading the book slowly, and each time I’ve finished a page or two (yes, THAT slow! =), I reflect on my own family situations, my parenting approaches so far, and how I still have so much to change, improve and apply everyday. I’m continually humbled and made to realise how very far I am from the standards God asks of me as a parent.

Today, I’d like to share with you some points from the book that I feel will serve as useful and practical reminders to us all.

It’s about communication and listening.

…

Parents are often too busy to talk unless something is wrong. A regular habit of talking together prepares the way for talking in strained situations. You will never have the hearts of your children if you talk with them only when something has gone wrong.

Insightful conversations take time. Children require both time and flexibility. Children do not pour their hearts out or open themselves up on a demand schedule.

A wise parent talks when the kids are in the mood. Ever so often they will ask a question, make a comment, reveal some little aspect of their heart. In those times, when their conscience is stirred, you need to talk. This may require dropping everything else to SEIZE a critical moment.

You must become a good listener. You will miss precious opportunities when you only HALF-LISTEN to your children. The best way you can train your children to be active listeners is by actively listening to them.

it’s not easy to know when to be quiet and listen, but no one said parenting would be easy. Work at it. Stop sometimes and think about what you have heard. Think, too, about what you have not heard. Stopping and listening provides time to pray silently, to refocus and be creative in your conversation.

You must avoid temptations to chase unimportant matters.

…

In today’s world, I admit that we are easily distracted.

We’re easily distracted with phone calls, text messages, the internet, mobile phone games, Twitter and Facebook. Even housework / work matters that can actually ‘wait’.

We’re often distracted with unimportant matters that we HALF-LISTEN (ie. not pay attention) to what matters MORE.

…

Someone posted this status on her Facebook the other day:

A little boy was on one of those truck toys in the mall and as he laughed he called out to his Dad, “Daddy! I’m in a truckkk!!!!!!!!!!” But the Dad just nodded at his phone and continued typing away without looking at the boy 🙁

I thought it was a sad, YET realistic situation that happens often today. It may have even happened to us as well.

…

Having said that, I know too that many children love to simply … talk. Some would seemingly talk about e-ve-ry-thing, and would chat nonstop every single day. Well, unless they’re asleep =)

If that’s the case at our home, it’s obviously not possible for us to stop doing everything for one whole day.

I guess, the point that the book writer is trying to put across is, treasure our loved ones. Listen and pay FULL attention when our children are trying to pour their hearts out about something.

Let’s build better communication with our loved ones.

Let’s listen. And not half-listen.