Pregnancy : Confinement Food and Nanny?
[Am now 24 weeks pregnant]
A reader recently emailed and asked me about my POST-NATAL plans.
She’s also a pregnant mother and she asked if I’ll be having confinement food and engage a confinement nanny after baby no. 3 is born.
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Btw, to those who’re not familiar with what ‘confinement food and nanny’ is (more commonly practiced by Chinese families), here’s a quick description:
Confinement Nanny / babysitter is someone who either stays at your place or comes from 9am – 6pm each day for one month (depending on the agreed arrangement you have with her). Typically, she’d cook traditional confinement food for the mother. She’d help with the mother’s and baby’s laundry and care for the baby too (bathing, getting baby to sleep, etc).
During the one month Confinement Period, the mother is well taken care of, and eats confinement food. Her strength is supposed to be ‘replenished’ to prevent future ailments like premature ageing or rheumatism.
Certain ingredients are typically used in preparing her confinement food (eg. ginger, rice wine, red dates). It’s believed to help boost the body’s vitality, as well as milk production.
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[Baby Anya at 3 weeks and 4 weeks old]
And here’s roughly my reply:
– No, we won’t be having any confinement nanny. I didn’t engage one when I had Anya and Vai, and I don’t plan to have one when baby no.3 is born.
– I did get help from my family’s long-time maid though. She’s worked for our family in Jakarta for at least 25 years, and we flew her here to help me. She stayed with us for one whole month. During this time, either my mom or my mother-in-law was around too. Then whoever’s still in Singapore at the end of that one month would fly back to Jakarta with the maid. After that, it’s back to me, hubby and the kids =)
I’ll be having similar arrangements when baby no. 3 is born sometime at the end of May! =)
– During that one month, our maid will help with the housework and cooking. She’ll go to the markets and do the grocery too. The newborn baby will be cared for completely by me though (Left Photo: Bathing baby Vai who’s 2 weeks old at the time)
It’s my personal preference, I guess. As I adjust to life with a newborn baby, I definitely need extra help with housework and cooking, and that’s where our maid’s help is greatly appreciated. At times, she’d also keep the older kids company (eg. play ball with them, accompany them to the playground, etc)
– As for confinement food, well … frankly, I’ve never liked the taste of it =) So, instead of eating ‘confinement food’, I usually eat lots of soupy stuff (eg. chicken soup), fish, meat and vegetables. Basically, any usual food that we’d eat that’s considered ‘healthy’ (ie. home-made meals, with no MSG, and not much fats or oil). And, I drank lots of milk (fresh milk, soya milk, etc).
I was blessed to have had sufficient breastmilk after I delivered both Anya and Vai. They were exclusively breastfed for 5.5months (ie. until they started eating solids). Anya was breastfed till she’s about 13 months, and Vai was breastfed till he’s about 22 months.
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Here’s one more typical post-natal question I get:
Do you shower after delivery? Or do you stick with the ‘no-shower-for-40-days’ belief?
Yes, I DID shower after I gave birth =)
When Anya was born, I waited till the 5th day. By then my hair felt so oily, and my body felt uncomfortably sticky, and I just HAD to shower. So I did.
When Vai was born, I showered as soon as I reached home from the hospital, which was the 2nd day after I delivered. And, I plan to do the same when baby no.3 is born.
A few things I’d personally do before and after I shower:
– Switch off all air-con, close all windows and doors to prevent any wind / cool air from entering the bathroom.
– Use a hair-dryer to completely dry my hair afterwards
– Wear socks, long pants and long-sleeved top
You see, I did feel a little ‘cold’ after I showered (ie. that 1st shower after I delivered). But when I got all dried up and warmly wrapped up afterwards, it was all fine. It’s so good to feel all clean and fresh!
(I guess, the ‘cold after-effect’ is the very reason why the traditional Chinese believed in NO shower for the first 40 days? ie. because the mother’s body is still regaining strength, etc)
[Taken in September 2006: Anya was 2.5yo, and Vai was 3 weeks old]
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Anyway, that’s what I personally believe in. And I must say, what works for me may not work for you and your family.
And, I believe every family is unique. If you’re planning on what you’ll be doing after you deliver your baby, I hope you find the arrangements that work best for you, your baby and your family.
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As for me, when baby no. 3 arrives some 3.5 months from today, I’m sure my first few days and months will be filled with joy, laughters, tears and all sorts of interesting ups and downs.
Yes, there are SO many things that I don’t know about the future.
But here’s one thing I’m very sure of.
If God has chosen to entrust us with these little ones, HE will surely give me the needed strength to go through everything that’s ahead of us too.
And I’m so thankful for that.
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Click HERE to read Baby no. 3 Weekly Pregnancy Journal!
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Btw, what’s your view on Confinement Period and Confinement Nanny? How about the ‘No-shower-for-40-days’ practice?
22 Comments »
Leave a comment!
Hi Leonny,
I suppose I am one of the exceptions – I loooooove confinement food! Especially the ginger and sesame seed oil chicken and steamed fish.
I love that I got to drink red date tea for a whole month and the routine of breakfast, tea , lunch, tea and dinner everyday. But then, I do enjoy food.
I did bathe (can’t imagine not doing so), using the special confinement herbal bath water with my own soap and shampoo. My mum-in-law added extra fresh lemongrass stalks and dried pomelo skins to the bath mix, so the scent was pretty fragrant, like a spa bath.
Mum-in-law’s maid took care of the laundry and cleaning, and both my mum-in-law and mum cooked the confinement food.
I had a wonderful time during my confinement because it was a welcome break from the office, and dedicated time at home to spend with the baby, catch up on sleep, play and do crafts with my eldest, read, and scrapbook, while someone else took care of laundry and cleaning and prepared nutritious meals for me. I am pretty indoor-sy by nature and happy to not leave the home as long as I have a good stock of food to munch and books to devour. And baby kept me very busy.
At the end of the day, I believe you should do whatever best suits your family and keeps you positive and happy during the first few months of adjustment, so regardless of whether you take the traditional confinement route, or non traditional confinement, or just non confinement altogether, plan to make it a happy and fulfilling time.
Hi Gwen, may I know who cooked your confinement meals and prepare your baths? Do you have the confinement nanny with you? If so, if you dont mind, could you kindly share her contact with me? I am looking for one. Many thanks beforehand. 🙂
Hi Lyn,
So far, I still travel overseas throughout my 3 pregnancies, and none of my docs told me about the danger of those custom scans. X-rays definitely is out though.
What I remember most is, it’s always best to have our health checked by our gynae before traveling. And bring along a letter from him/her that says we’re fit to travel. Traveling is less recommended usually when we’re past our 30th week.
=)
hi thanks 🙂
found your journal
would like to check is it safe to go through those custom scan during pregnant ?
Hi Kheng Yan,
It’s great to hear that you’re coping well with having strict in-laws watching over you, esp. during that first month of having a newborn baby. I’m not sure how I would’ve felt if I were in your shoes (for one thing, I think I’ll be extra pressured … or even depressed)
As for the ‘break’, I think the best is when I was still in the hospital hehe … (minus any post-natal pain of course!=)
Thanks for asking if I’d like to have a copy of the recipe … I really appreciate it, but err … I think I’ll skip =)
Hi Yatz,
Thanks for dropping by and sharing how it was after you delivered.
I guess that ’40 days confinement’ culture is more of an Asian one? I too was told to rest a lot and not go out, but then I need to bring the baby for his check-ups and I sort of thought, if I could go out with the baby for check-ups, there shouldn’t be much difference to going out for other necessary occasions? =) So during my first month, I did go out other than going to the doctors, eg. my nephew’s birthday dinner, but we went home straight after.
Stay in touch!
Hi Xinhui,
Congrats on your pregnancy! Hope you’ve been well all this while and continue to be healthy till the Big Day comes =)
Thank you too for dropping a note to let me know how the post has somewhat encouraged you. I’m in turn encouraged too when I read your email! (Thank God for today’s blogging platform)
Stay in touch yeah, and you can always share your views and thoughts on any of the topics on the blog.
Have a nice week ahead, xinhui!
Hi Lynn,
Yes, I did travel to Hong Kong with the 2 kids and hubby, when I was 16 weeks pregnant last December =) I just double checked my pregnancy journal =)
(I keep a weekly journal on my pregnancy with baby no.3 here >> http://www.oureverydaythings.com/baby-no-3-pregnancy-journal/)
Before we travel overseas, it’s recommended to let our gynae know early and let him have a check on our health (as every pregnancy and health is different)
For my case, I was asked to come for a check up about 2 days before my date of travel. This way, he could also issue a letter to confirm that I’m ‘fit to travel’ (you know, just in case the airport officials notice that we’re pregnant and ask for THE letter from our doc)
Hope it helps! =)
hi would like to check with u , is it safe to travel overseas with 2 kids around 16 weeks pregnant ? i remember seeing one of your post that u went to hong kong when u are pregnant but i cant find it ….
I had a confinement lady when I had my no. 1. Unlike you, I didn’t think too much into getting one. I remember my MAIN reason is because I needed to learn how to bathe a baby… I’ve not held a newborn in my arms before and somehow having an expert around was reassuring. And yes, for both my boys, I followed the confinement routine. I’m greedy and love confinement food… and it’s in a way celebrating the birth for myself as I get one month of “holiday”. With my strict MIL looking behind my back, I followed the red date drink (yummy if u add enough), no touch of water, etc. I did bath and wash my hair but it’s in the afternoon and it’s with hot boiled water with some herbs. To me, if it does me no harm and I do not mind doing it, why not? At least it keeps peace with the old folks and me. I had a maid by the time I had #2, and btw she and my hubby, they cooked the confinement meal for me (btw, I’ve a photocopied set of receipes given to me by a fren, would you like to have it?). I had more problems with breastfeeding my #1 and the confinement was seen as a lesser issue.
hi! im currently 19 weeks and have been thinking if i should engage a confinement nanny…
but somehow or rather..i just don’t feel comfortable..and decided not to engage one..and hopefully everything will turn out all right.. =)
and also, just wanna share to you that i am really encouraged after reading your post..
what happened was that i was just replying to a friend that Im actually quite scared and not prepared at all to be a mummy.And you mentioned this :
‘
“If God has chosen to entrust us with these little ones, HE will surely give me the needed strength to go through everything that’s ahead of us too.”
wow, i really felt God speaking to me through your post!
Thank God and I also wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy!
=)
Hi,
I came across your blog and I agreed with what you have written.
I myself didn’t really follow the 40days thing.. I don’t really like the taste of confinement foods but I ate alot of home-made meals during my confinement. I took shower once every 2 days and wash my hair as well as I feel sticky and oily.. Thank god for the water heater…I blow-dry my hair straight after the bath..
As malay, we have tradition that during the 40days confinement we cannot go out of the house but in case..I didn’t follow as I need to bring my baby for their check-up and mine too as I am under insulin during my 1st n 2nd pregnancy….I do have maid to look after my 1st baby as she was only 2yo when I gave birth to my 2nd baby… for the first 2 weeks its really tiring and stressful but once I get the rythm of the routine is fine..The husband helps too interms of entertaining the 1st one and bringing her out to play, shower her and tuck her to bed…
My maid did all the washing and other chores as I do the cooking and ironing..that is after a month of delivering..
Hi PJ,
First of all, congrats on baby no. 2! =) Hope all goes smoothly for you and baby’s all well and healthy yeah!
Now, as for what will happen when baby no.3 is born and my maid and mom/MIL have left Singapore … hmmm, good question haha.
You know, those last few days before they left Singapore, I did feel … scared! I mean, I’ve had help during those first 3+ weeks, and I always wondered if I could cope WITHOUT the extra help that I’ve been getting. Lots of ‘What ifs …’ in my head. I had this feeling when Anya was born AND when Vai was born. And I think, I’ll be feeling the same way again when it’s time for my maid and mom/MIL to leave again later in June! =)
I’m glad though that such feelings lasted for about 2 days after they left (for me personally). On the 3rd day, I started to get a better feel of what the day will be (ie. daily routines and all). And after that, it got better and I had more confidence too, ie. that I could do ‘this’.
Anyway, here’re some of the things that I can share (based on what happened when no.2 was born … ie. at the time, Anya my firstborn was 2.5yo)
– Hubby’s support was greatly appreciated.
I could NEVER be able to do what I did and am doing today if I had no support / help from hubby. Little help here and there was a treasure! (eg. when he could, he’d change no.1’s diapers or bathe her. He’d go and do the grocery at times, etc).
– I engaged a part-time helper to come for 3 hours a week. Basically she did the : sweeping, mopping, ironing, and general cleaning (including the bathroom). Really helped a lot! Esp. the ironing part! =)
– I think I had food delivered to us (catering) for the first 2 months. Can’t quite remember it well now (blaming it on my bad memory =). Getting food delivered during those first weeks and even months can really be helpful. Took away the need to go to the market, cook and all, and allowed me to spend time with the newborn baby and no.1 too.
– Generally, when baby is 2-3 months old, we already have a rough idea as to what our daily routine will be like, eg. When baby will sleep and all (ie. THAT’s when I can do some home-cooked meals etc).
– When I cooked, I cooked a little bit more, ie. for dinner AND lunch the next day hehe … This way, I roughly only need to cook once / day. I also would prepare lots of chicken soup, and freeze them in different containers. This way, I have ‘reserves’ for a few days 🙂 I simply thaw one container out, and throw in some vegetables etc, and voila … that’s one dish already! 😀
And one last thing that I personally find helpful, … being ‘relaxed’ about things helped a lot (hopefully the hubby can be ‘relaxed’ too like us 🙂 We’re fine with having 1-2 simple dishes for dinner. We’re okay too if the house was not as ‘neat’ as before =)
Anyway, hope what I’ve shared helped somewhat. Stay in touch, PJ!
Hi D,
I actually have SO much that I have yet to learn in life. Have done too many wrongs too. Am glad that I have a blog where I can share some of the things I’ve learned so far though. It helps me look back and appreciate life, and its many ups and downs *especially since my memory gets more and more rusty these days =)*
Anyway, welcome to my blog! =)
Hi Leonny,
I am expecting #2 in April and will be getting a confinement nanny to help out for a month ( at my mum’s insistence). At the home front, I have been doing everything on my own with regards to care taking of my 3.5 yo ( I am a SAHM too) so even though it’s a lot of work, I enjoy the freedom to bring up my kid the way I like and the time spent with him.
Can you share how you cope with the kids when the maid and your mum/mil leaves after a month back to Indo? Ie with regards to caretaking of your kids and a demanding newborn, how do you find the time to cook etc. Just like to glean some tips as I do not like to have hired help unless necessary. I am mainly concerned as to how to find time to continue cooking for #1 when #2 is out. Any tips to share?
Hi Charmaine,
Thanks heaps for sharing! It really was GREAT that you had your mom with you during those first few months (after Ashleigh was born). Must’ve been really, really helpful!
And thanks for sharing your tips towards the end too. I totally agree with you.
‘To me, what’s important is to do what you feel and know is best for you and baby. Everyone is different and also you will have people giving plenty of advice whether you want it or not. Th best thing to do is, listen to the advice, thank the people for that and decide for yourself.
Hi Rina,
Thanks for the encouragement! 😀
You know, though this is a 3rd one, I somehow still feel it’ll be a whole new journey, with so many things to learn still. And, as shared with you, … I’ll just take it as it happens =) And pick up whatever that I need to learn along the way! =)
@Siska:
Thanks for sharing!
Mom and mom-in-law are not strict about confinement food and period *phew!* so, they’re okay with me not eating confinement food 🙂
BUT, there’s this post-natal chinese pill that my mom repeatedly reminded me to take within the first few hours of delivery. Hmm. It’s supposed to reduce the bleeding or something. Can’t quite remember the name of the pill now.
Ur posts are very righteous…know it all kind…also very preachy
For both my girls, I had extra help at home. With my 1st girl, Ashleigh, my Mum stayed with us for close to 4 months which was really helpful, especially so when Ash had congenital dislocation of the hips (clicky hips) and was in a harness for 3 months. I think I suffered a little PND as well but it was not diagnosed.
With Cait, my Mum was away so we asked a close family friend to stay with us for one month to help with household chores. I looked after both my babies and looked after myself with plenty of rest and healthy foods and drinks. I didn’t mind the confinement food as I love ginger so it was not an issue for me.
I did have a shower after both deliveries and also washed my hair a few times in the 40 days but made sure I blow-dried my hair thoroughly.
To me, what’s important is to do what you feel and know is best for you and baby. Everyone is different and also you will have people giving plenty of advice whether you want it or not. Th best thing to do is, listen to the advice, thank the people for that and decide for yourself.
you did well with the first two, just do the same with the third 🙂
Mum was here for both kids to ensure I had my confinement. Mine wasn’t as strict as the old traditional confinement. With JL, cos I didn’t know, as soon as JL was out, I headed to the shower in the hospital cos I felt yucky with all the blood and sweat. Mum and dad were out for lunch when I took my shower, so when they came back, mum was in horror.
With JH, I showered the next day but didn’t wash my hair until the week after. I can’t do 40 weeks without washing my hair. It’s like oil mine.
As for confinement food, yes, during confinement period, I only ate confinement food, cooked by mum. And she made sure I ate them.
As for staying at home during confinement period, I tried to stick to that as much as possible. I only went out for the kids 2 and 4 weeks routine check up at the maternal child health centre. That was compulsory and mum cant speak english, so I had to bring those 2 kids there myself.