Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Busyness.

It seems to be the ‘situation’ everyone faces today. Even amongst married couples.

But. It IS the reality, isn’t it?

We’re all busy with something, every day. And during most of our ‘waking hours’.

With kids. With work. With chores. With the internet. With our mobile phones. With everything.

Scary. But true.

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I came across this article about ‘Making time for the one you love’ on Focus on the Family Canada website.

And I’d like to share some parts of it with you today.

Hope it’ll refresh your relationship with one another.

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Busyness seems to be a symptom of our society. It’s almost a badge of honour. We rush from activity to activity saying, “I’m so busy.” We even feel guilty if we don’t have something to do every moment.

Perhaps it’s your job. Or maybe you’ve taken on too many volunteering responsibilities. Somewhere along the line, you took on more than you can handle.

We hear from couples who work full-time, go to school, raise kids and volunteer at charities, and then wonder why their marriages are having difficulties. So many couples aren’t making their marriages a top priority; everything else seems more important – careers, kids, hobbies and volunteer work.

Assessing your priorities

We live with the lie that we can have it all, do it all and deserve it all. Many couples are so busy they don’t take time to nurture the foundation of their family – their relationship with each other. When that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.

Here are some of the warning signs busyness is taking a toll on your marriage:

•   You think you have to choose between your spouse and your kids.

•   Your lives are fragmented; you spend more time running around doing things than spending quality time together.

•   When you’re together you both tend to be in your own little world.

•   You both find yourselves easily irritated over small annoyances.

•   Disagreements and misunderstandings between the two of you increase.

•   Several months pass before you realise the two of you haven’t had a date or planned alone-time together.

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If you see some or all of these warning signs popping up in your life – stop and take notice! Your time with your spouse is too important to the security of your marriage to neglect. It’s more important than the time you spend at work or even with your kids. Remember this – time you set aside to spend with your spouse isn’t time you don’t have.

Make your time count

Couples need to get away alone to talk, laugh and have fun together; that’s when true connection takes place. We need to learn more about each other, our past and our dreams for the future. We need to feel at ease with each other as we face new challenges together.

If you and your spouse are both working or going to school full-time it can be incredibly tough to find time to spend together. If you have the option, don’t have regrets over your family. You get only one chance with them. Perhaps putting off school for a season or cutting back on work hours will give you the time and energy you need for each other and for your family.

Sometimes having one of you quit work or cut back on hours isn’t possible because that second income is needed or that degree is one semester away; cutting back may end up causing more stress instead. In cases like this, you need to make a concerted effort to have at least a few minutes a day just for you and your spouse. This makes your marriage a priority and gives it the preventive maintenance it needs.

The reality is that there may be time for some of those other activities in other phase or season of your life – you can still go to school later, but the window of opportunity for keeping your marriage strong may not remain open indefinitely.

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[Fun ATV ride along Anyer Beach, during our recent trip to Indonesia]

Things may have not always been smooth and easy between me and Wilson.

We sure have disagreements and occasional quarrels. We both are busy with our many responsibilities and chores too.

But there’s one thing I notice and am very thankful to God for: we both realise how important nurturing and refreshing our relationship with each other AND with God (as the Lord of our family) is.

Once in a while, we try and schedule movie dates (ie. when both kids are at school). We watch DVDs together when the kids are in bed. We sometimes chat till the wee hours.

We keep in touch throughout the day. We encourage each other to read books. We communicate when we have disagreements. We support each other’s church ministries. We go to church seminars and classes. We pray together.

Yes, we have weaknesses. We have emotional moments. We have many differences. And we are definitely far from perfect. But I guess THOSE are the things that make us work on our marriage.

Anyway. I’m thankful to God for the ups and downs we’ve gone through in the past nine years.

And I look forward to more adventures in the years ahead.

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To hubby: Happy Nineth Anniversary! Love you!

[added]
Thank you SO much to those who’ve left messages, congrats notes and wishes on my Facebook! Really appreciate every single one of them! Thank you.