Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

I’ve been asked quite a bit about whether I allow my two young kids play computer games, and my answer to that is, ‘Yes.’

Personally, I’m not against computer games (or the TV, or mobile phone games).

I must say though that I strongly believe any unnecessary (or excessive) exposure to such media can sure have negative impacts on the child.

To me as a parent, it’s more important to know and work out how often they’re allowed to be in front of the computer and the kind of games they play.

Here are some of our computer or games-related arrangements we have in our family:

– We dedicate one particular day in a week (ie. Wednesday) where the kids get to play computer games. Anya, who is 6yo, can play for about an hour. Vai, who is 3 years and 8 months old, can play for about 30mins.

And, the agreement between the kids and I is this: they get to play on the computer only IF they nap after school.

– If we happen to go out and about on a particular Wednesday (eg. a fun play at the beach, or dinner with friends), then there’s no computer games time that week.

Basically I hope to nurture their love for spending time and having fun with family and friends (ie. social interactions with friends and families are always encouraged and portrayed as ‘more fun’, as compared to having one’s attention and focus only on the computer or gadget in one’s hand, regardless of how ‘educational’ the games may be)

– We are against letting our kids play games (or watch TV programmes / movies) that promote violence, anger and hatred (even though it’s done in the name of ‘getting rid of the bad guys’)

We believe games (or movies / TV programmes) with plots based on aggression and violence will put our kids at higher risk of increased aggressive behaviour (ie. regardless of how ‘cute’ the characters are portrayed in them)

Here is our main online games list:

– Dora and Diego Games http://www.nickjr.com/games/index.jhtml

– Cooking Games http://www.oyunlar1.com/cookinggames.asp

– Starfall http://www.starfall.com

– Thomas and Friends http://www.thomasandfriends.com/ca/games.asp

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It does get a little more tricky when it comes to mobile phones, because they’re easily accessible at any time of the day.

Basically, we apply similar principles to mobile phones (though it’s not a ‘once-a-week’ kind of arrangement).

eg. We let them play with our mobile phone (iphone) when the kids come along to our seminars / meetings and there’s nothing much for them to play with there after a while.

And, we discourage frequent play on our mobile phones (eg. browsing around, playing games or watching a ‘short-movie’), when there are friends and families with whom the kids should play, chat and interact.

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I realise such exposure to technology (mobile phone, the TV and computers) is getting more and more common these days, which to me means, we as parents need to even be more watchful … especially when it comes to knowing and discerning what is ‘necessary’ for our children, and what is not.

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Here’re a few related links on the topic:

– Children and Video Games: Playing with Violence
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_and_video_games_playing_with_violence

– How TV affects your children
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.html